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song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!

Little Hawk 25 Dec 11 - 10:38 AM
Bill D 25 Dec 11 - 10:43 AM
Crowhugger 25 Dec 11 - 10:47 AM
Bob the Postman 25 Dec 11 - 01:51 PM
Bobert 25 Dec 11 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 11 - 09:36 PM
Bobert 25 Dec 11 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 11 - 10:27 PM
Little Hawk 25 Dec 11 - 10:38 PM
David C. Carter 26 Dec 11 - 05:31 AM
Bob the Postman 26 Dec 11 - 01:27 PM
Little Hawk 26 Dec 11 - 01:48 PM
Sandy Mc Lean 26 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM
Little Hawk 26 Dec 11 - 10:52 PM
Bob the Postman 27 Dec 11 - 02:07 AM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 11 - 12:20 PM
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Subject: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 10:38 AM

"Chongo Chimp is Coming to Town"

Oh, you better not fight
You better not f*ck
You better fly right
Or you're out of luck
CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN!

He's makin' a list
And checkin' it twice
He's gonna find out who's
Specist or nice
CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN!

He sees you when you're drinking
He knows when you abstain
He knows just what you're thinking
He can look inside your brain

Oh, you better not swear
You better not f*ck
You better beware
Or you're out of luck
CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN!
CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN!
CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOWWWWWWN! (KREE-GAH!) Ook! Ook!


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 10:43 AM

A warning! Just in time to alert the troops at the border....


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Crowhugger
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 10:47 AM

Cheers, Chongo. Whatever you're drinking, the first round is on me!


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 01:51 PM

He sees you when you're naked
He knows when you're undressed
He knows if you've been in the bath
He's a transom-peeping pest


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bobert
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 06:39 PM

Glad I don't live in town...

B~


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 09:36 PM

he comes around here he's liable to get his blue baboon butt shot off.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bobert
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 09:45 PM

Better get off the first shot at long range, Rap, cause you know Chongz affinity for his AK-47...

B~


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 10:27 PM

it ain't me he has to worry about.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 10:38 PM

Chongo doesn't worry. He takes action.

"Worryin's a waste of time. I say, fire off a full clip first and let others do the worryin' for ya later." - Chongo

Bob the Postman - those lyrics are brilliant!


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: David C. Carter
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 05:31 AM

This is a ripoff of a ditty written by a geezer named Blind Boy Grunt!

Anyway,I want to see the video!





Bob Dylema.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 01:27 PM

Thanks, LH. An honour and a privy ledge.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 01:48 PM

LOL! You are a truly witty man, Bob. You should've worked with John Cleese and his friends at Monty Python's.

Chongo has had a riproaring Christmas this year. He and Renata (his attractive human girlfriend and campaign manager) hosted a big Christmas Party at the APP headquarters in Chicago, and today he's going over to Chester's Gym to spar a few rounds with a huge gorilla named "Bolgani". It's Boxing Day, after all! They'll be raising funds for a charity that helps find homes for rescued primates from zoos and other such specist facilities.

Chongo can't wait to "put the gloves" to Bolgani. I expect it will be a very lively match.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM

Gorillas tend to fight from a crouched stance. Tell Chongo to bob and weave, staying upright and let the bigger ape chase him until he tires. Then move in close to cut the reach advantage and use a barrage of left and right uppercuts to drop Bolgani for the count. Usually apes don't have to worry about reach advantage but in this case Chongo probably falls a foot or two short. In any case it's wonderful to see that apes understand the true meaning of Boxing Day!


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 10:52 PM

It was a great fight. Chongo started off bobbing and weaving, as you suggest, using his greater maneuverability and avoiding getting trapped against the ropes or in the corners. Bolgani's thunderous punches generally missed the mark or failed to connect solidly while Chongo peppered him with quick jabs and the occasional flurry of close-in punches. Then in the 3rd round Bolgani nailed Chongo with a vicious left which took him to the mat, but he was up again in a couple of seconds. Bolgani pressed hard in the dying seconds of the 3rd round but failed to get another knockdown.

Chongo came on strong in the 4rth round, using his Ali-like "mouth" tactics and taunting Bolgani continuously, saying things like "Does yer Momma tuck you in at night?" and "Where's yer BB gun?" This drove the big gorilla to a frenzy of furious attacks that failed to do much but tire him out.

By the 5th round, Bolgani was looking a bit unsteady on his feet. With 20 seconds remaining in the round, Chongo clocked Bolgani with a wicked flurry of punches to the midsection and a stunning uppercut to the jaw that laid the big ape out flat on the canvas. The crowd went bananas!

Bolgani stagged back to his feet at the 6 count and managed to make it to the end of the round, at which point the fight was stopped. It was declared a draw, though most felt that Chongo was ahead on points.

Chongo and Bolgani shook hands amicably at the conclusion, complimented each other on a battle well fought, and retired to Duffy's Bar to knock back a few drinks and "talk shop".

$18,000 was raised to find homes for homeless primates. It was definitely a good day.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 02:07 AM

Sounds like quite a match. Would that the rest of us monkeys could learn to channel our agressions to such good ends. By the way, speaking of fights and all, is Chongo a Black Hawks fan?

On the Python thing, Little Hawk, I well remember the day Mike phoned me up at work and said to me (this is Mike Palin, eh?) he sez, "Bob," sez he, "we'll give you 200,000 pounds a year, a vintage Morgan, and all the coke and hookers you need to keep your creative juices flowing if you'll only come and join the troupe."

Well, I just told him, "You know what, Mike, I'm more of a tea and toast kinda guy and besides, this gift of mine ain't for sale. Now if you'll excuse me there's 425 households out there of which I gotta bring 'em their phone bills and Canadian Tire flyers today."

So there you have it, my "get thee behind me" moment, the reason why today my knee cartilages are shot to hell but my nasal septum is still going strong. And thanks to my CPC pension I can have tea and toast three times a day for the rest of my life, providing I don't brew it too strong or slice it too thick.


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Subject: RE: song: Chongo Chimp is coming to town!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 12:20 PM

LOL!!! That's a wonderful and moving story, Bob. I now understand why I haven't seen you in the movies. You were too idealistic and public-spirited to fall for the tempting lure of Hollywood and fame. Bully for you! You are clearly an exceptional man.

Chongo is impressed. He says he hopes to meet you one of these days.

Yes, he's a huge Blackhawks fan.


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Mudcat time: 18 August 10:26 AM EDT

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