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BS: So that's why I feel like crap!
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Richard Bridge Date: 21 May 12 - 05:46 PM More seriously, is there no-one any use in your union who can take on your bullying management? Is there no local contingency layer to sue your bullying employer? Are you at least suing those French bastards who run the government's plan to drive all those disabled to suicide? |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: YorkshireYankee Date: 22 May 12 - 10:41 AM Wish I could do or suggest something that would help... The misery of your situation(s) makes my heart just ache for you. Oh, for a magic wand... |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,CS Date: 22 May 12 - 10:47 AM " in the interim between date of assessment and today, my pain and inflammation has increased. " That's a legitimate reason to reapply. "I am trapped. I just want to go home to Virginia to die now. That is all I want. I can't do this anymore." STOP IT! Life can be difficult sometimes T, you've just got to suck it up sometimes. Indulging in death fantasies won't help, you, your daughter, or your husband, who loves you to bits! |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,CS Date: 22 May 12 - 10:55 AM And now that you hate me, do you still want to get together this weekend? ;-) Not quite sure where you were talking about though. I'd had a few birthday shandies.. Focus on the upcoming folk season, Pigs in a fortnight. There will be fun and friends and a break from the stress. Hopefully a space to stop freaking for a few days! |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,CS Date: 22 May 12 - 11:06 AM A thought, Yvie might be a good source of advice where stress relief techniques are concerned. Might be worth having a chat with her when we see her? It's also worth remembering that the nervous system can be like a strained muscle that needs proper soothing to recover proper functioning. Implementing stress reduction techniques can take practice and patience, just like the healing of a muscle sprain with massage and so-on. http://www.livestrong.com/article/372808-guide-to-breathing-exercises/ |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 22 May 12 - 12:47 PM well that was interesting... NOT 100 mg of pregabalin last night and 50 this morning and spent the first 3 hours at work weeping uncontrollably. It was embarrassing that I could not get it under control. Not done that since Andie died. Not only was it embarrassing, it was scary. I felt afraid mainly of not being able to cope. Around lunchtime was even weirder. Went all manic. Unable to sit still or stop talking at hyper speed. Calmed by 2 and then 4pm came the email from line manager. Report from my supervision last week. Advised that I take a course called Working Under Pressure. Now I am just fire breathing angry. I cope beautifully under pressure. It is one of my strengths. always remarked upon with admiration by previous managers. Called me unflappable and phlegmatic in the face of enormous stress. This is utter shit! Well. I am just going to take my meds as prescribed and if this emo roller coaster happens again, I am going home and going to bed. I don't effin care if the hub is left uncovered. Thanks for good thoughts. CS Not suicidal. Just ready to give up, go home and carry on as long without medical care as my body will. It is Jubilee Monday or Tuesday we are supposed to meet up. We are in Swansea this weekend with TSO's daughter. BTW... Yvie and Mike have pulled out of Piggies. Thank you for the breathing link. Saved to favorites and will send link to work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,CS Date: 22 May 12 - 12:59 PM *and breath out* Thankyou for clearing that up.. For the record, people with my own illness have a high incidence of suicide. I've been at high risk myself. It's something I'm somewhat sensitised too. Apologies if I took your post the wrong way.. Words can mean different things to different people. Bummer about Yvie & Mike btw - was looking fwd to catching up! Tsk. See you Mon or Tues x |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 23 May 12 - 01:51 PM Sorted things out with the line manager. We are friends again. I am not to worry about losing my job due to sick/disability absence. I am doing a fabulous job. Lyrica (prgabalin) defo making paranoid. She completely understood. Said not to worry about making certain the hubs are covered. No one will be penalised if a hub is not covered due to extraordinary circumstances such as illness. Had terrible terrible nightmare early last night while dozing on the sofa. Lost my daughters. Lost both of them and was frantically looking for them. Andie (young adult) had not been in contact for weeks and weeks and I didn't know where she was and had no way of contacting her. Leaving messages with her friends. Hilary (about 5 or 6 - which is weird because the girls were only 3 years apart) was missing from the house which was a cobbled together mish mash of the house they grew up in and the hose I grew up in. The house was in my old neighbourhood. Knocking on doors, checking back yards and old scummy pond/pool. Utter terror. Couldn't find them, woke up gasping and shouting. Then reality hit me and it was in some ways worse than the dream. There is no finding Andie. She is not ever coming home. Shaken and sobbing for several hours after that. So did not properly go to bed until around 2am. Thank you sudoku. Still sleeping very poorly with lots of waking up in pain. Spent this morning shaking, crying, feeling unsettled, unable to focus on anything. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Bat Goddess Date: 23 May 12 - 05:56 PM Those of us who live in northern climes find we usually need to take vitamin D supplements as we age. My doctor (on the basis of blood work) recommended them about 5 years ago and I've been taking them since. Recent studies have shown (as I have suspected for a loooooong time) that full fat cheese and full fat dairy is not the problem to cholesterol levels they once thought it was and has other health benefits: "Studies at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggest that 79 million Americans are on the brink of developing diabetes. Here's the good news for cheese lovers: Harvard researchers have discovered a natural compound in full-fat dairy that could substantially lower your risk of blood sugar snafus and even full-blown diabetes. It's called trans-palmitoleic acid, and Harvard's 20-year study shows that folks with the highest levels of this fatty acid in their bloodstreams have a 60 percent lower risk of developing diabetes, possibly because this compound helps muscles burn blood sugar more effectively. To do: Enjoy eight ounces of full-fat milk or yogurt, or one ounce of full-fat cheese daily. Bonus: In the same Harvard study, people who enjoyed a serving or two of full-fat dairy daily also had less body fat and healthier cholesterol levels." Despite being from Wisconsin, I'm not particularly crazy about milk. (Although I've discovered a commercial organic full fat brand that tastes GREAT and isn't much more expensive than usual supermarket milk.) But there is NO life without cheese...and I eat it multiple times a day. (Multiple varieties, too.) Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: YorkshireYankee Date: 23 May 12 - 07:19 PM What a |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 27 Jun 12 - 06:57 AM Tamara, we haven't heard from you for a while. How's it going? Fire off a PM to someone here if we can offer support, eh? Maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: ChanteyLass Date: 27 Jun 12 - 08:19 PM Yes, that would be good, either on this thread or the one about your daughter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 27 Jun 12 - 08:26 PM Well sure- Tamara might want to post here or in the other thread, but she may also not wish to post...she hasn't done so, thus I imagine there's enough going on she may prefer to send a PM, or for that matter an email, to anyone she wants to contact. I just want her to remember there are many folks here who can offer a listening ear, in private, should she want such a thing. Got that, Tam? |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 28 Jun 12 - 02:59 PM Refreshhhhhh |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 29 Jun 12 - 08:18 PM Once more for this week...refresh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Ebbie Date: 30 Jun 12 - 06:13 PM And again... |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: gnu Date: 01 Jul 12 - 01:53 PM Yeah... ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: katlaughing Date: 01 Jul 12 - 09:28 PM I've just sent her an email. Hope we hear something. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 01 Jul 12 - 11:10 PM I also emailed her several days ago, kat. Don't wish to nag Tam but do wish to keep in touch if we can be helpful. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 02 Jul 12 - 02:31 PM You guys are lovely. I've had a n email prompt that peeps were asking about me. Sorry I have not been much online. A little facebooking early and late in day and then drug drowsing in between. On synthetic opiate based pain patch medium dose fentanyl and 2 different doses of pregabalin am and pm. I am afraid I've been really out of it. missed two weeks of work. Returned today and was promptly sent back home as I am "not fit." Hil and Galen have moved in with his parents in the midst of the terrible storms this past weekend. SHe had to give up her job and cannot cobra her insurance as she has moved to another state. I think this effects her ability to apply for food stamps and unemployment too. All her bloods and sugar are much better but she is still in a lot of pain and spleen is still very large. She is scheduled to have a scan of hyper portal vein to see if there is a blockage. I don't know what after that. I will be going home to US next week (provided I am well enough). Will see her then. thank you all for your continued good thoughts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: gnu Date: 02 Jul 12 - 03:17 PM Good thoughts... good luck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Gurney Date: 02 Jul 12 - 07:03 PM Strictly from memory: Was not Vitamin D routinely added to margarine in the UK since WWII to prevent rickets? I seem to remember that immigrants from India were getting rickets due to using ghee rather than margarine, as their pigmentation did not allow their skin to manufacture enough D. My information may be nearly 40 years out of date, but may be worth checking. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 02 Jul 12 - 07:51 PM Thanks, Tamara. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:45 PM 3 steroid injections, 3 durogesic pain patches, lyrica 2x daily and still no relief. One thing I can say about the pain patch is maybe it is not dealing with the pain but it's put me into the "Do I really care?" frame of mind about it. Signed off work for another week. Going to update the Hilary thread now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: ChanteyLass Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:31 PM Thank you for the update here. In a few minutes I will check the other thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:38 PM "So that's why I feel like crap!" .....not only that...you're standing in a puddle of piss. GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Ebbie Date: 10 Jul 12 - 12:09 PM Your sense of humor lacks something, GfS. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 10 Jul 12 - 12:16 PM Ebbie: "Your sense of humor lacks something, GfS" The weak accuse others of their own weaknesses....'But You Can Leave Your Hat On'! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Ebbie Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:07 PM That's another way where we differ: You see it as humor. I see it as crude. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:11 PM You see humor as crude? GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:17 PM Funnily enough all the pain meds are causing an unpleasant side effect, urgent bladder. So GfS is very near the mark. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:22 PM Ahhh..The truth hurts!!....lol! gfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:50 PM Well Ebbie might have a point as well...laughing at humor and satire can make your bladder a little bit more 'active' in an 'uncontrollable way'. Ever head the expression, " I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants!" or, " I laughed so hard...it was the shits!" GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: gnu Date: 10 Jul 12 - 03:55 PM Your posts speak volumes, GfnS. Well, the ones I actually read. Crawl back under your bridge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,Gust from Sanity Date: 10 Jul 12 - 09:54 PM gnu: "Your posts speak volumes, GfnS. Well, the ones I actually read. Crawl back under your bridge." We read the last few in the, 'delusional american politics' thread, and consider maybe pulling your head out...from under your 'bridge'! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 30 Oct 12 - 02:37 PM bleagh Been too messed up to wrap my brain around Mudcat much. Hope peeps are all ok. Sorry if I am missing things. I am not fit for human interaction. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 30 Oct 12 - 05:51 PM sending a big hug & lots of love sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST Date: 30 Oct 12 - 06:25 PM Have been wondering how you - and your daughter - are doing these days... and hoping things have maybe improved a little bit? Sounds like prolly not, though. So sorry! |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: ChanteyLass Date: 30 Oct 12 - 09:06 PM Hugs from me, too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: GUEST,VaTam on her Tab Date: 31 Oct 12 - 03:23 AM I am hoping why I feel so horrible is that I am in withdrawal from the patches and lyrica. I can take the pain which at times is pretty bad. I can deal with the creepy cannot stand being inside my legs feeling, by taking half a co-codamol at night and going short walks during day. But the feeling like I am constantly swimming through mud is exhausting. Going on 3 weeks without the heavy pain meds. Determined to be free of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: ChanteyLass Date: 31 Oct 12 - 06:56 PM More well-wishes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: YorkshireYankee Date: 01 Nov 12 - 01:52 AM Oops, just realised I should have logged in yesterday, as I'm not currently posting from my home computer (am in the US, visiting family); in other words, "Guest, 30 Oct 12 - 06:25 PM" was me. "Going on 3 weeks without the heavy pain meds. Determined to be free of them." Wow, that's a helluva project/accomplishment! You have my deep respect and admiration, as well as my wishes that it will start to get easier very, very soon. Fingers crossed for you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 01 Nov 12 - 02:52 PM Stopped the pain meds because I wanted my brain back (feeble as it is). At least when the zombie apocalypse starts I will have some useful function as diversionary bait. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 03 Nov 12 - 02:35 PM 4 rice cakes some Healthy Choice low fat humus and glass of ginger ale and I DON'T feel like I have been punched in the stomach. Most I've eaten in one sitting for 4+ days. Maybe i have turned a corner on the pain killer withdrawal thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 03 Nov 12 - 03:46 PM Rooting for you from Maine, Tamara. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: gnu Date: 03 Nov 12 - 07:11 PM Me too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: ChanteyLass Date: 03 Nov 12 - 09:28 PM And me! |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: VirginiaTam Date: 04 Nov 12 - 05:36 AM Thanks so much to each of you. Pretty damn miserable day out today, yet I feel enough better physically that I don't mind it. Managed a little food last night. A toddler portion of steamed carrots and angel hair pasta tossed with Vitallife spread and Zesty Blend herb mix from Kroger. I really love Zesty Blend. Makes food taste wonderful without chemicals or salt. This morning one slice oat toast and one scrambled free range egg. I even drank a little bit of coffee. Naughty, I know, but it was so good. Instruments have been put away for nearly a year. Couldn't stand seeing them when it was too painful to play them. In the last few months I have also packed away my voice, pretty much. One song is about all I can manage due to the Sjogrens. Singing was my last bastion of creative expression so I got very low. I was referred for some counselling in August to help me with pain and depression which ultimately led me to Expert Patient Programme. EPP is a group therapy course that lasts 6 weeks with 2 leaders who are people also dealing with the effects of long term illness. They have been trained to help others cope with pain, illness and the depression associated with illness. My EPP action plan for the week was to get the little guitar out and try to play and sing some. I managed to play through one and half songs, singing along before my wrist said "NO MORE!" But even better, I pulled out shruti box and learned Let No Man Steal Your Time. WooHooT! I sang through 3 songs Wednesday and repeated this on Thursday. Friday and Saturday too ill with the stomach thing to do anything but be a miserable sod. Today the music making resumes. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 04 Nov 12 - 06:35 AM well done, every day a bit more food & few more notes ... The EPP programme sounds excellent, best wishes & a gentle hug sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: So that's why I feel like crap! From: maeve Date: 04 Nov 12 - 06:36 AM Oh, that's lovely news, Tamara! Thank you for letting us in on the music-making. |
