BS: I did not have sex with,,,

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 11:06 AM

"Gentlemen don't talk!"

Women do, of course, but only amongst themselves...so that's okay.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 08:58 AM

I have been known to bandy some of the names that my late wife bandied with while she was not otherwise associated.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 03:07 AM

Getting off this bestial theme for a moment back to original thread-title ~~
How is one to say with whom one did? There might be one or two pairs of knickers one has dropped in one's time whose owners' names one might wish to drop likewise.

But, dash it, Bertie! Does a fella bandy a lady's name?

〠

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 13 Jan 12 - 12:19 AM

Sorting through some old books recently, I came across a rather rude one that included a series of ethnic slurs under the heading of "What do they mean by safe sex in *******."

The entry for Scotland was:

"They brand the sheep that kick."

I don't think it's just the Scots, since a fellow once showed me his Teamsters contract that stated quite clearly that any trucker hauling sheep was required under the contract terms to have a co-driver on board. (The claim was that it was to protect the drivers against false accusations ... ... (or maybe it was rude jokes?). )

John

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 05:49 PM

If Bob Saget talked like that around Chongo Chimp, he'd end up getting punched out.

I figure he must be the guy whose picture you find in the unabridged encyclopedia beside the word "asshole" (slang term).

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 05:43 PM

A guy I ran into after University was between jobs. When I asked him what he was doing at the time he said, "Oh, you know, fucking the dog. Selling the pups."

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 04:46 PM

In my neck of the woods to "fuck the dog" is to be idle when one ought to be working.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 04:03 PM

That is why I called him a pervert.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 04:00 PM

Saget is sick.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 12:17 PM

Bob Saget "The Aristocrats."

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 11:20 AM

I did not have sex with Christie Brinkley ... sigh

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 12 Jan 12 - 07:38 AM

And I thought eating tinned tongue was bad.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 11:56 PM

...most of the women I was ever interested in...

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 08:15 PM

Kendall: All you need is a bit of spit, your finger, and a rag.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:42 PM

Lydia Pinkham
Marie Curie
Elizabeth Blackwell
Carrie Nation
Squirrel-Tooth Alice
Lindsey Lohan
Theresa of Lisieux
Stan Musial
Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Ramses II
That platypus
My hostess
My host
Rupert Murdoch
Mama Cass
Casey Stengel
Alexander Fleming
Hildegarde of Bingen
Ross Perot
Your daughter
Your son
Your puppy
Your wife
You

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:13 PM

LH...your poetry is doggerel.

(and yeah.. Maryland law seems to be very concerned with oral sex. I assume it is similar to what I call 'jaywalking law syndrome'. They don't really expect to stop any jaywalking... they just want a 'rule' in place in case anyone causes a problem or an accident by jaywalking.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: The Sandman
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:00 PM

I think its a miss take to be dogmatic

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 05:39 PM

That's for damn sure. And it's a onetime experience.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 05:13 PM

You don't have sex with Chthulu, Chthulu has sex with you.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 03:21 PM

Oh...Rap? What about Golda Meir? And Barbra Streisand?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 03:17 PM

Thankfully, I have not seen that movie. How does he compare to Adam Sandler?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 03:14 PM

If you have seen the movie "The Aristocrats" you know what a pervert Saget is.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 03:13 PM

The Dallas Cowboys
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Barbara Bush
Nancy Reagan
Nancy Pelosi
Sir John Franklin
Old Shep
Nellie Bly
Champion
Nelly Belle
Buttermilk
Dale Evans
Annie Oakley
Madame Nhu
Ho Chi Minh
Mao Zedong
Pope Alexander VI
Gypsy Rose Lee
Mae West
Ron Hubbard
Chthulu
Podkayne
Her Majesty, Star
Mrs. Butterworth
Uncle Ben
Gentle Ben
Old Yeller
Big Red
Mary Mapes Dodge
Dolly Madison
Tantor
Hans Brinker
Hans Christian Andersen
Eva Braun
Herman Goering
Babe the Blue Ox
Pepe Le Pew
The Virgin Mary
Suliaman the Magnificent
Genghis Khan
Tamberlaine
Madonna
Paris Hilton
Paris
Helen of Troy

...just to keep you up to date.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:43 PM

Bob Saget's song is about at the level of Cheech Wizard. Not entirely without merit, in other words....just nearly so! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: kendall
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:39 PM

No one could ever accuse me of being a prude, but, too much is enough. I'm gone.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:15 PM

Bob Saget pays tribute to a wonderful dog


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 02:00 PM

kinda depends on your interpretation of "good."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 01:55 PM

Oh no ~~ not Old Blue. I mean, don't you remember ~~

"I'll bet you $10 he''s a good dog too"

??

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 01:49 PM

I've always been a bit suspicious of the story behind "Old Blue."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 01:38 PM

I don't think anyone has asked if they used the missionary position or if they did it .... doggie style.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:38 PM

Help Me Make It Through The Night

Take the ribbon from your fur
Shake it loose and let it drop
Leave your dog food in the bowl
Just forget that awful slop

Come and lay down by my side
On the carpet by the chair
Never mind your foolish pride
As I remove my underwear

I don't care what's right or wrong!
I don't care about the law
I've turned off the blasted phone
And now I'm reaching for your paw

Mary's gone away downtown
Here we are, we're all alone
Help me make it through the night
And I'll give you this chewing bone...

I don't care what's right or wrong!
You don't have to be afraid
I've done things like this before
With my ex-wife's former maid

Yesterday is dead and gone
And the vet is out of sight
There's fresh pork roast in the oven
Help me make it through the night

- Krass Krostifferson, Folkporn Records

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:08 PM

Take the ribbon from your fur,

I recall hearing a singer in a folk club years ago say "I loved that dog. I wrote this next song about that dog. I really really loved that dog. ....... I did six months for loving that dog."



I notice M'Unlearned friend got his citation wrong again.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:04 PM

Bill D - Maryland law forbids oral sex?????? For Christ's sake, they could probably prosecute most of the adults living in the state if they wanted to!

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 11:52 AM

I've told you before. DPP -v- Bourne, (1952) 36 Cr App Rep 125 (CCA).
Conviction of husband for aiding and abetting wife to have buggery with dog. She was entitled to be acquitted on grounds of coercion, but even though that meant that there was no principal offence he was still convicted of aiding and abetting.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Becca72
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 09:14 AM

Around here to "screw the pooch" means to make a big mistake...coincidence?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 08:48 AM

That's because he doesn't want the vacuum cleaner to be publicly embarrassed and humiliated.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: kendall
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 07:22 AM

AHA! Raparee, you didn't mention your vacuum cleaner.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:20 AM

Thanks, JoeF, And one is reminded of the old joke whose punchline is, "No, a mare, not a stallion. Nothing queer about old Carstairs!" [quoted, IIRC, in John Brain'es Room At The Top].

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:17 AM

What we really want to hear is Chongo's confessions in this particular area.

Alas, he refuses to talk about it.

Smart move on his part.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:05 AM

Just to make the record clear, I did not have sex with...

Cleopatra
Julia Agrippa
Messalina
Elizabeth Bathory
Trigger
Rin-Tin-Tin
Tin-Tin
Snowy
Petunia Pig
Elizabeth I or II
Eleanor of Aquitaine
Richard the Lion-Hearted
William Rufus
Caligula
Mary Todd Lincoln
Marilyn Monroe
Daisy Duck
Silver
Cheetah
Jane
Tarzan
Margaret Thatcher
Marie Antoinette
Edward II
Andrew Jackson
Frankie
Pearl Pureheart
Eskimo Nell
Dudley Do-Right
Yukon King
Yukon stove
A Mossberg 12 gauge pump shotgun

...and a whole hell of a lot of other people, places, and things.

Mostly my life has been really, really boring.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 12:00 AM

And how do you know I'm speaking of her? There were some pretty odd things going on in that palace.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:59 PM

No, LH, Catherine the Great didn't do that. She died of a heart attack, but not because of what you're thinking. She did have quite a few men, but that was it. The rest is propaganda.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:35 PM

'Scuse me! I slightly misunderstood your question, Genie. For a case of a woman raping a dog, you have to go all the way back to the reign of Catherine the Great of Russia. It's a very disturbing story, though, as it involves not only dogs...but some larger domesticated animals...so I am going to maintain a discreet silence about it.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:31 PM

In Liechtenstein. 1976. A member of the male staff in the palace got involved with one of the Prince's prize Weimaraners. It was a dreadful affair! He was tried and convicted of canine rape and sentenced to execution by trebuchet. The trebuchet overperformed and hurled him clear across the pricipality's eastern border, and he landed, fortunately, in a farmer's pond in Austria. The Austrian government was engaged in a pastry feud with Liechtenstein at the time and decided to give him refugee status. He now works as a bartender in Vienna.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with ...
From: Genie
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:33 PM

Silas - [[I said to him "Sex with a dog? Just how low can you get?"

He replied, "About as low as a poodle"]]

I'd say sex with a wiener dog's even lower!


BTW, for a man to "have sex with" a dog might automatically count as "rape" (unless the bitch was in heat), but DK if that would be true the other way around. Judging by how eager most male dogs are to "hump" anything and anyone in sight, I think it would be hard to argue
"lack of consent."
But then, when was the last time a woman was prosecuted for raping a dog?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:10 PM

A Big Mac? Now, THAT is REALLY sick. Considerin all that cresterall what plugs up yer heart.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 07:41 PM

Well, I'm glad that I have provided all you perverts a gathering place and from what I have read, ya'll is some sick people but...

...my Cousin Rufus got real drunk one night drenking Iron City behind the Sweet Springs Store and called me to come drive him home... So I went to get him and he sho nuff was drunk... I didn't know you could get drunk on Iron City before getting sick but he was drunk... So he ain't in the car 10 seconds before burstin' out laughin' and cryin' at the same time so I says...

..."Whatza matter, Rufe?" and he says...

..."I can't tell you 'cause you gonna laugh and then go tell everybody"...

So I says, "No, I won't, I promise... Ya' gotta talk with me, Cuz..."

Well, I could tell that even as drunk as he was he wasn't drunk enough to spin his story without a lot of prodin' so prodin' I did and eventually he looked over at me and said, "Bobert, I had... I kinda had..."...

So I says, "Just let it go, man..."

He looks down at the floorboard of the truck as if it had done whatever he was about to confess to doing...

"Come on, Rufe, whatever you done it can't be that bad, right?"

"Okay, Bobert, I had sex with a Big Mac!!!" and then ol' Rufe broke down cryin' a big ol hillbilly cryin' which is a mighty cryin'...

Like what was I 'sposed to do or say???

Well, peoples, there are times in life when it's best to just say, "Gee, that ain't all that bad" but that weren't one of those times so I just blurted out, "Hey, Rufe... Brings new meaning to secret sauce" which musta been the right thing to say 'cause the hillbilly crin' turned into hillbilly laughin', which is a mighty laughin' and to this very day all I gotta do is mention "secret sauce" and ol' Rufe down on the floor of his half-a-double-wide holding his sides laughin'....

So, hey, it's a strange world and fact is stranger than fiction, right???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:43 PM

...and the Maryland law sort of adds animal sex in with 'general perversion'

"§ 3-322. Unnatural or perverted sexual practice

Prohibited

(a) A person may not:

(1) take the sexual organ of another or of an animal in the person's mouth;

(2) place the person's sexual organ in the mouth of another or of an animal; or

(3) commit another unnatural or perverted sexual practice with another or with an animal."

I wonder how many know that other humans are proscribed in that way.... and that last clause seems to refer to whatever the court wants it to.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack Campin
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:26 PM

The SC law looks pretty weird. it appears they stuck an anti-gay clause on the end of a cruelty-to-animals bill:

South Carolina Consolidated Cruelty Statutes

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 06:17 PM

MtheGM: ObSongs:

Great joy they reap from tupping sheep
In sundry bogs and ditches,
Nor care a damn if it's a ram --
Those hardy sons of bitches!            -- "The Pioneers"

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 05:54 PM

I love being the straight man... ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 05:39 PM

---get to the bottom of this---

,,..

You mean it's ANAL!!!???

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 05:28 PM

Yup, it's pretty revolting. That's why I say that they must find out if the dog was a consenting adult or an unwilling participant.

A dog whisperer needs to be found ASAP to get to the bottom of this.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 05:21 PM

I frequently joke about sheep and people sex, as I assume it is a humourous myth,

But, those who actually have sex with an animals, IMO, that is just is ""sick"".

In addition to that, the animal is obviously an unwilling and living sex object, under the power of a person in authority. To me, it is just as repulsive as adultsm in a position of power, having sex with kids.

To quote gnu un a previous post "yeek""

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Michael
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 04:46 PM

I suppose the boy friend had to 'look after' the sheep whilst the shepherd was otherwise engaged?

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 04:28 PM

Her boyfriend must be a very sick lad, and she must be...umm...well, a bit strange.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: kendall
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 04:06 PM

Ebbie, I know of a woman in NY state who did a German Shepard just because her boy friend asked her to.

Spaw,..he went cold turkey... that is funny.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 02:51 PM

Even so, Ebbie ~~ have a look at Apuleius' The Golden Ass too, for that matter.

~M~

"Ass" here means a donkey or burro: so just you stop your sniggering, you lot over there...

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 02:44 PM

Ebbie - No question about that! Heck, the majority of my personal heroes (musically and otherwise) are women.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 02:21 PM

Knew a really gorgeous gal in college. We hit it off pretty well. Then one evening we wound up in bed.

Wow! Talk about an ANIMAL!!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 02:19 PM

Hey... re that business about it being legal since 2005 (I didn't click the link as I have SOME standards).

That may be so, but it was in SC. Have you researched the sodomy laws in SC?

Yeah... I know... even grossed myself out.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 02:13 PM

Will the dog need counseling? Will the owner of the dog need counseling?

Maybe not, but I do. I should never have come into this thread.

ugghh!

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 01:59 PM

Ebbie ~~ Reread the legend of the Minotaur.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 01:54 PM

There are advantages to being a woman.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:48 PM

I am reminded of Tom Lehrer describing someone who majored in animal husbandry until they caught him at it...

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:46 PM

Once this gets out there is sure to be a new "Law and Order" series.

Law and Order DDU Doggie Doers Unit.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Big Mick
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:34 PM

This fella I know, when he got a job at a pork slaughter facility in Iowa, had to go through the standard initiation. No one would speak to him until he went out in the yard and had sex with one of the pigs. He refused for a long time until the isolation and nastiness got to him. Finally he told the ringleader of the yard gang that he would do it, but no one could laugh at him. The yard boss agreed, noting that it was a old ritual and they all had had to do it. So he goes out, cuts one pig loose from the pack, drops his drawers and does the deed. He looks up as he is pulling his pants up to see all the guys laughing. Furious, he storms back inside and confronts the yard boss with: "You said no one would laugh!!!!" the yard boss, through his chuckles said,









....... wait for it .....








"but Bill,   ......... You picked the ugliest one"


I'll show meself out .........

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:18 PM

I think it needs to be established whether the dog is "of age" and whether the dog gave consent.

The man and the dog should get a good lawyer at once.

Where's the "Dream Team" at these days?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 12:14 PM

Do American dogs have oil filters?!!

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:19 AM

"Fucking a dog" is slang for attempting to perform an awkward and difficult task, like trying to remove a hard to reach spark plug.

Maybe the guy can convince the judge that when his landlord saw him fucking a dog, he was only trying to remove a stuck oil filter.

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 11:07 AM

I remember a newspaper report from a while ago...woman comes downstairs in the middle of the night to find her husband having sex with a frozen chicken. "You bastard", she screams, "that's our dinner!".

And yes, they did get divorced!

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Silas
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 10:42 AM

I said to him "Sex with a dog? Just how low can you get?"

He replied, "About as low as a poodle"

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 10:18 AM

Cute Kendall! But I have a better story and its TRUE!

This friend of mine back about 30+ years ago was a Columbus Police detective and gave polygraph exams to potential police officers and other department employees. The exam asked some personal questions regarding a lot of "not usually discussed" subject matter. One day Tom is administering the test to an applicant about 21 or 22 years of age and he said the guy was kind of flakey anyway, but when he got to the part about bestiality, well, it went like this..................

Tom: Have you ever had sex wih animals?

Idiot: Oh sure! My Grandpa had a farm. (Almost a tone of happy surprise in his voice)

(Tom would have normally stopped the exam at that point but something in the guy's voice and look just made him ask a few more questions just for his own amusement....illegal of course but who are you going to believe if the guy sues?)

Tom: So what animals did you have sex with?

Idiot: Oh, a cow....

Tom: Cow.....

Idiot: ...and a sheep......pig.....

Tom: A pig?

Idiot: Sure....had a goat once

Tom: Really? Uh-huh.....(Tom is becoming more and more incredulous)

Idiot: Yeah, if Grandpa had one on the farm I gave it a try! (Quite happy about it)

Tom: Yeah, I can see that......

Idiot: Tried a chicken once........

(Tom is kind of dumbstruck. Words completely fail him and he is just standing there with his mouth hanging open.)

Idiot: Couldn't get it in the chicken though.

Tom is ready to either die laughing or throw up but manages to get out the waiver which says basically that nothing said would be released or used against you, but you don't have a job on the CPD. The guy listens to Tom and looks at the waiver then says........

Idiot: I don't get it. You mean I can't get a job on the police?

Tom: Yes, but we won't disclose or use against you anything which you said here.

Idiot: Is this because of the animals?

Tom: Yes it is.

Idiot: Well I don't think that's fair! (Kinda' sad and upset at the same time)

Tom: Look man, if word ever got out that a police officer was having sex with animals, well........

The Idiot now delivers the capper line of all time.

Idiot: It just ain't fair! I ain't had sex with an animal in weeks!


I guess the guy had gone "cold turkey".....so to speak.



Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: kendall
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:55 AM

I had a neighbor who did a pig. He would have gotten away with it if she hadn't squealed on him. I'll get me hat...

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Jack Campin
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:30 AM

Sex with dogs has been legal in North Carolina since 2005:

overview of zoophilia laws in the US

So what is the guy being charged with?

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:30 AM

Well, it gets lonely back in them Carolina hills...and there are few llamas....

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 09:13 AM

"Felony Crime Against Nature?" So if you kiss a dog, is that a misdemeanor?

Can you see the scene at the Vet's office? Did they need to call the local ER for a rape kit or are things so generally weird around there they keep a few on hand?

Will the dog need counseling? Will the owner of the dog need counseling?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: wilbyhillbilly
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 08:55 AM

Is that "proper" dogging?

Sorry!

Subject: BS: I did not have sex with,,,
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 08:29 AM

From today's "Charlotte Observer"

CUMBERLAND COUNTY
"Man charged in sex offense involving neighbor's dog"

FAYETTEVILLE-- A 33 year-old man is free on bond after being accused of having sex with a neighbor's dog.

The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office said Ray Lynn Mitchham, Jr., who lives in Linden was arrested Monday and charged with a felony crime against nature.

The sheriff's office says the complaint was filed by the dog's owner who is also Mitcham's landlord. She told deputies she went to Mitcham's residence early on Jan. 2 to speak with him. When she opened the door of his mobile home, she said she witnessed the act.

Debbie Tanna, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, told Raleigh's WRAL-TV that the dog, a mixed breed female, was taken to a veterinarian, who recovered a DNA sample. The sheriff's office siad it determined Monday that the DNA matched Mitcham's.

Mitcham appeared in court Monday morning and was released on $5000 bond.

(OBSERVER STAFF AND WIRE REPORTS)

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Well, there ya have it folks...

B;~)