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Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

ChanteyLass 18 Sep 18 - 04:04 PM
ranger1 14 Sep 18 - 07:54 PM
wysiwyg 14 Sep 18 - 05:53 PM
frogprince 14 Sep 18 - 04:49 PM
ChanteyLass 11 Sep 18 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 18 - 09:29 PM
keberoxu 09 Sep 18 - 06:04 PM
frogprince 09 Sep 18 - 04:33 PM
wysiwyg 06 Sep 18 - 03:52 PM
Pete from seven stars link 06 Sep 18 - 03:25 PM
Donuel 05 Sep 18 - 11:00 PM
wysiwyg 05 Sep 18 - 12:27 PM
wysiwyg 05 Sep 18 - 09:06 AM
ranger1 04 Sep 18 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 18 - 09:14 PM
Sandra in Sydney 03 Sep 18 - 08:09 PM
frogprince 03 Sep 18 - 07:17 PM
gnu 03 Sep 18 - 05:23 PM
frogprince 03 Sep 18 - 02:42 PM
wysiwyg 02 Sep 18 - 11:28 PM
Sandra in Sydney 02 Sep 18 - 07:21 PM
ranger1 02 Sep 18 - 06:07 PM
wysiwyg 02 Sep 18 - 04:17 PM
Sandra in Sydney 02 Sep 18 - 09:06 AM
wysiwyg 02 Sep 18 - 05:41 AM
Rapparee 31 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM
gnu 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM
wysiwyg 31 Aug 18 - 03:00 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM
keberoxu 30 Aug 18 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 18 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 18 - 10:09 PM
frogprince 27 Aug 18 - 09:53 PM
keberoxu 27 Aug 18 - 04:22 PM
Donuel 14 Aug 18 - 06:52 PM
keberoxu 13 Aug 18 - 04:42 PM
Donuel 13 Aug 18 - 10:01 AM
keberoxu 12 Aug 18 - 03:20 PM
keberoxu 09 Aug 18 - 06:23 PM
keberoxu 08 Aug 18 - 05:52 PM
Donuel 07 Aug 18 - 04:30 PM
keberoxu 07 Aug 18 - 03:13 PM
Pete from seven stars link 23 Jul 18 - 12:30 PM
keberoxu 22 Jul 18 - 10:44 PM
gnu 06 Jul 18 - 04:33 PM
billybob 06 Jul 18 - 12:39 PM
ChanteyLass 05 Jul 18 - 07:52 PM
keberoxu 05 Jul 18 - 10:01 AM
Pete from seven stars link 03 Jul 18 - 06:29 PM
keberoxu 02 Jul 18 - 03:25 PM
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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 18 Sep 18 - 04:04 PM

Refresh!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 07:54 PM

I kept a blog that was letters to my dad for a couple of years after he died, my way of working through my grief. That end to your day that Judy would have loved? That was the kind of thing I'd put in those letters. Doesn't have to be electronic, the old-fashioned paper and pen variety work well, too, if that's something you think might help you.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 05:53 PM

(((Dean)))

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 04:49 PM

For all the friends and family I can think of: "Today in Menorca"
Before I left home, I booked with "Jeep Safari Menorca" for today. So glad that I did. We set out into the countryside on miles of one lane "roads", between stone walls, that would have destroyed a sedan in a fraction of a mile. The driver/guides had made sure we fastened our seat belts; they weren't kidding. First stop, a huge limestone quarry, now like parkland in a canyon, where you could see the difference in how blocks had been cut to a certain depth by hand chiseling and then by power saws. (Most construction has been concrete for decades now). More country roads, and a maze of one-way streets in some old town. On to an overlook with a very long view of island and sea. Just after that we stoppped momentarily while the drivers manually locked up the front hubs for four wheel drive; we had come to the really interesting part of the road. Actually the ride wasn't as violent as it had been, because we were slowed way down for a ways. On to a lighthouse, with adjacent man made cave, used for armaments during the Spanish Civil War. An excellent, very Spanish, dinner at a farm with no other civilisation in sight. Final stop, an hour at a very nice beach. I laid back a while after being dropped back to my hotel, and walked a little way to one of a string of street cafes. Just as I started back to the hotel, the street resounded with brass and drums playing ...something...followed by "When the Saints Go Marching In" and other standards. I found the street totally packed with so many people following the band, kids on shoulders, that I couldn't see a sign of the band somewhere up there. After a few blocks they turned into a hotel complex and circled the pool, and I could see it was about two dozen young people in white shirts and dark slacks. They sounded like any professionals you could ask for; some of them might have been in high school, but several couldn't have been above fourth grade. It was a sublime conclusion to a good day.
          Then it got me.                  Judy would have loved it so much.
I'm okay, everyone, but I'm still kind of a soggy mess.   
                      DDE


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 11 Sep 18 - 10:17 PM

Ouch!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 18 - 09:29 PM

November 29. Hemorrhoidectomy. Me. What a pain in the...you know what. But it's best to find out about the polyps that are there.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 06:04 PM

Thanks for checking in, frogprince.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 04:33 PM

Well, crew, I've been enjoying Naxos, if not as fully as would have been. There are now ashes in each of the four beach areas where we swam together "as nature intended" each time we were here. (I haven't explained that part of the significance to everyone.) There always happened to be a be a few too many folk around for me to walk along scattering, so I would sit and scoop down in the sand beside me and cover a portion of ash. That leaves just a handful or so at home that wouldn't quite fit in the little travel urn; I have to decide where those go. Some like to keep at least a portion, but for myself that feels a bit like keeping a finger as a holy relic. As Ranger1 noted, I too am finding a certain comfort in knowing these remains will be in places meaningful to Judy.
                            Dean


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 03:52 PM

Aw Pete. Just the right thing to say.

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 03:25 PM

There can't be many ministers and their wives stayed with the same church or parish for so long wysiwyg . We'll done and blessings to you


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 11:00 PM

Dean its a voyage to remember or maybe even have the surprise of your new life.

wysiwyg I second that emotion and honeymoon.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 12:27 PM

Word received.

My Episcopal priest husband's formal announcement of his surprisingly-soon (Jan 1) retirement is now publicly known in the parish (after an unavoidable one week delay). This affects me in so many ways only another clergy spouse of my vintage can understand.... And there are none near me.... my only almost-peer is dealing with her own equally serious stuff two states away... and there are now only a few days open to me to support hubby and parish full of dearly loved elders and a few potentially negatively-reactive folks. I'm at least able now to bring my unique skillset to this brief and intense moment. Sunday morning will be especially chaotic but an avalanche of community blessings and cursings can fall on us at any place or time-- some fell on him this AM. And we're clearly too old to deal with this all "easily".

His first plan was 2009 early retirement after 25 years' exhausting ministry. The market wiped that plan out. I started later, 25 years ago, and for me it's not early. I'm 65 and facing a family dementia history. No one in the parish knows that yet. We arrived here as newlyweds. We'd like some honeymoon time. Now.

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 09:06 AM

Dean, +++

I think I can cast off today (I'm waiting on a word of news). Soon I'll be able to speak openly about the situation that made my seas so rough, and the smooth winds will leave me in place to catch the current for home.

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Sep 18 - 08:41 AM

Dean, I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but knowing that the ashes of my loved ones are someplace meaningful to both myself and them gives me comfort.

My uncle spread his portion of my grandmother's ashes over the cellar hole of the house she was born in, now a piece of protected land belonging to the people of the State of Maine. I will spread some of my portion on the osprey sanctuary after the osprey leave for the season, and take the rest with me to leave in beautiful places that she would have loved to visit herself.

Safe travels, my friend.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 09:14 PM

I can only wish you peace, and may your travel (getting from one place to another) be boring in the extreme.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 08:09 PM

I can't wish you a "happy" holiday frogprince, but I hope you find what you need. Sending good wishes & hugs.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 07:17 PM

Susan, forgive me for this, but...:

They called her a screamer,
Well, maybe she was,
But you'd have to hear for yourself...


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 05:23 PM

6300 posts!

Froggy... Bon Voyage.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 02:42 PM

First leg of the journey to Greece this evening: crossing the border to a motel, to catch an early train to Toronto tomorrow. I'm running on very mixed feelings...anticipation, to visit Naxos again, distribute ashes, and spend some days in Menorca while overseas...trepidation, at making the journey without Judy. Thinking of all the support the "crew" here have given me, and of the waters that are rough for some of the rest of you.

            Dean


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 11:28 PM

Sandra, they egged me on.

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 07:21 PM

lovely memory, Tami. I have no memories of my grandfather even tho I was 7 when he died & didn't live too far away (my other grandfather died before I was born)

Susan - just re-read your last post & wondered about the effect of your keening screams in the birthing room on the staff!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 06:07 PM

As a complete aside: Sandra, I first heard Michael Row the Boat Ashore from my cousins when I was very small. My paternal grandfather was barely literate, and didn't read music. My much older cousins would learn songs and sing them for him when they'd come to visit, and my grandfather would then learn the songs from them. And he'd sing them to me.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 04:17 PM

Thanks, Sandra.

A productive morning!

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 09:06 AM

... Hallelujah

Sister help to trim the sails, Hallelujah ....


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 05:41 AM

Thanks, Rap. Coming from you, how could I not believe that?

I ended up, to be sure I'd get enough sleep to NOT bring a "bull" into a very tightly laid out "china shop," trying a sleep med that bought me one 12 hour sleep, and one about half that. A few more days for that situation to ripen, and all will shift back to where I can bring my unique skillset to bear on it.

I think it's been the waiting-- for that moment-- that's had my tight abs levitating me off the bed. I also woke, from that 12-hour sleep respite, remembering that when my son got stuck in the birth canal and they said to stop pushing until the c-section team arrived, I'd used a keening scream to keep from pushing thru what (by then) were oxytocin-fueled monster contractions. (You can't push with an open throat!) So, after the sleep meds wore off, I just sang-howled to my service dog every time my belly tensed. She'd wag, I'd laugh, the day passed. A new anti-anxiety alternative.

These meds run against my whole mind-management belief system and practice. I decided that since I'd had to forego that practice for the duration, a few days' use could be ok, and so I'll schedule extra time for that practice once I get out of the "china shop."

"Michael row the boat ashore...."

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM

wysiwig, you CAN do it. You have it within you. Believe me, for I've been there.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM

Still on sub-lurk. Just 'busy'. Hugs to all.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 03:00 AM

With you there on embarrassment, Rap. (Fu**it!)

I'd appreciate a short tow behind the Rainbow. There's a situation that has another week and a half to run, and I need sleep (not advice) SO BADLY. All indicators are that I'm handling that sitch beautifully, but it kicks up just about every trauma of my difficult childhood. None of it is anything I can post about in further detail; I am getting good counseling sessions 4x/week. But not sleeping even with pretty srs meds. I'm a little "dinghy"!

Thank you, sailors. I can sing out a few spirituals from back here.

"Climbing high mountains":
"... still on my journey..." 3x "tryin to get home."

~S~


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM

I long ago decided I'd rather be mortally embarrassed than dead. I have an appointment with Dr. (Katie) Fritz, the surgeon, on the 11th. In the meantime I continue cardiac rehab for three more visits.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 02:41 PM

It all sounds monumentally embarrassing.
Take care of yourself in the meanwhile.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 10:10 PM

Oh, yes. Contrary to popular opinion, the laxatives I had to take for the prep did not make me disappear completely!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 10:09 PM

Last Thursday, after two days of prep and liquid diets, I had a colonoscopy. Nine polyps, none seemed malignant to the doc. But to my chagrin I have a polyp on a hemorrhoid (which I didn't know I had and which I didn't know grew polyps) and it will have to be surgically removed and biopsied. Well, that's for late November/early December -- too much is going on beforehand. AND I've moved from a 10 year cycle for colonoscopies to a 3 year one.

I'd say, "S**t" but it doesn't seem appropriate somehow. Well, it's better than the alternatives!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 09:53 PM

Life goes on...There are now some ashes where her parents and one brother are buried, some scattered on the trails and beach at a nearby state rec area we frequented, and some along the Martha's Vineyard beach near her other brother's summer place, where we spent a few days most summers. In a week I set out for the Greek Island of Naxos, where we visited twice and would have returned if it could have been. Most of the remaining ashes will go along in a little cardboard travel urn. It took something of a comedy of clerical errors to get through the paperwork for that, but fortunately I got into it well in advance. Naxos turned out to be kind of our place in the whole world, so I've really wanted to do this. I'm spending some time with friends most days, and starting on a small (n) scale train layout. I'm sure I haven't had my last incidental meltdown, but I'm not in desperate straits.
                Dean


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 04:22 PM

Ranger1, hope your siblings are mending swiftly and feeling better.

Thinking of frogprince as well.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Aug 18 - 06:52 PM

Yes I am polite but 'permitting' you to speak up would be presumptuous if not impossible. You detect subtleties well. I daresay your posting rate exceeds mine, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Well maybe there is but this community has become too polite to complain. Well Joe complained but he is a founder and chief...


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 04:42 PM

Yes, the post about Donuel's brother Steve was submitted to the BS thread on Puerto Rico, with reason, since it was in the aftermath of the Hurricane Maria catastrophe that the death took place.

So one of our own long-time Mudcatters is experiencing that catastrophe in a way very close to home.
Thanks for your graciousness in permitting me to speak up.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 10:01 AM

In posting for about 20 years I have presented a vulnerable side. Vulnerable in the sense of TMI to the emotionally compromised.
Regarding mixed feelings about the dead and not speaking ill of the dead in mixed company, first I have been unable to obtain a death certificate from PR and only have private accounts to o by. Second I have not seen Steve in 52 years and rely solely on telephone communication. Third, Steve is/was a half brother. Until finality can be officially established there is not much to be said.

Death always involves some mixed feelings we generally do not discuss.
I do not advocate doing away with discussing the mixed feeling side of death but only acknowledge its existence. Unreasonable guilt can result from an obsession with mixed feelings.

Keboroxu, we all have an appointment with death so the social convention of honoring the dead to some degree is good for everyone.

It can be challenging to honor a near stranger, a Scalia or a Trump but it can be done.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 03:20 PM

...and Amos has posted to the Mudcat that he is feeling better.
Thinking of
frogprince and gnu.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 06:23 PM

thinking of Amos and gnu.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 05:52 PM

Actually I was referring to Donuel's brother.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 04:30 PM

I think of people who face a close bereavement and my tacit support goes with them. My situation amounts to no more than an empty nest.
While I appreciate the notion of empathy, healing hearts could go toward those in need. In photos we smile but in life we don't smile on command. Smiling times come and go.
For those who need support there is no loss too small or too large to be shared and healed over time without judgement in 'Jane's Rainbow'.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 03:13 PM

Mudcatter Donuel chose to be very private about his loss,
in Mudcat posts this year.
It is now a number of months since the bereavement in Donuel's family.
Slow as I am, I just understood it today, this very minute.

I respect Donuel's privacy and his choice to be discreet in his posts.
And I am sorry beyond words
for Donuel's and his family's bereavement.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 23 Jul 18 - 12:30 PM

I expect your beach hut was a welcome respite from the blazing sun Wendy !


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Jul 18 - 10:44 PM

Thinking of you, gnu,
and of those to whom you are attached.
Hang in there.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 04:33 PM

Lovely to hear that, Wendy.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 12:39 PM

I spent a wonderful day yesterday with our lovely Nigel. We have been friends here ever since he started this Rainbow voyage but had never met. We often said he would come here and spend a day at our beach hut in the little seaside town where he enjoyed many childhood holidays and yesterday at last, Billy and I welcomed him to our home and the hut by the sea. We even managed to climb to the top of the Trinity House Tower at the Naze (111 steps to the top)

This Rainbow crew have shared many sad times but also many happy and funny memories. Nigel and Ann will always be in our thoughts and of course Jane and her family, without them many friendships would never have happened but more importantly the love and compassion shown by all on board has been so important to all who sail with us.

Sending much love and thanks to Nigel and Ann, may our little ship sail on and on for all who need love and healing thoughts.

All my love Wendy xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 07:52 PM

Nigel and Ann, take care of yourselves and each other. If you need us, we'll be here.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 10:01 AM

rapparee, hope that heart of yours is negotiating a healthy compromise in its conflicts.

Donuel, hope all is going well for your son.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 03 Jul 18 - 06:29 PM

Adding my good wishes to Nigel and Ann, as they continue to grieve Jane.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Jul 18 - 03:25 PM

Seconded.


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