Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 06:52 PM

"I didn't have to wear my longjohns today, just in case anyone was wondering."

And thankfully I didn't have to wear your longjohns either. Thanks, gnu.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 06:48 PM

Sadness tonight, softened by time and cherished memories on this 22nd anniversary of the passing of my older sister. Tomorrow, though, will joyfully celebrate the 60th journey of my younger sister around the sun.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 01:09 PM

I didn't have to wear my longjohns today, just in case anyone was wondering.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 08:15 AM

Nigel,

have just re-read the last two posts from you, I wish I had the words to express how both Billy and I feel for you, Ann and Jane and her family, just so pleased that they were able to go to the netball game and be "normal " for a day! We know how your life is turned upside down by a serious illness.Often Billy has commented to me that the only time we go out together is on a trip to the hospital, and conversations with family and friends are about either Billy or mum's health. So I will attempt some "normal " conversation...

The sun in Frinton is shining from a clear blue sky, yesterday was beautiful in the morning and after I had finished my last client, Samantha and David and I took the little girls for a walk along the greensward to check out the beach hut. Lots of dog walkers on the sands and even two speedboats heading for Walton Pier! Hot Chocolate at the hut and all was well when we opened up, I always wonder how a little wooden shed on stilts can withstand the North Sea and East winter winds.Bunny and Prudence are a joy to be with and ask such funny questions,this morning talking on the phone Pru told me that the snow had all gone and WHY was it not summer today then? Summer seems a long way off, but the daffodils are venturing up in my garden,I must go and see if the snowdrops are out yet? Lots of little finch type birds have been at the bird table to investigate if that pesky squirrel has left them any nuts!

Will be holding Jane in my thoughts this week, and sending you and Ann all the strength I can muster. Wishing you a peaceful Sunday

With love
Wendy xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: fat B****rd
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 08:08 AM

Hey, Nigel. Much as I love living in Scotland, we don't do Burns night. At my grandchildren's primary school it was Haggis,neeps and tatties for school dinner but many of the kids prefer a packed lunch. Most of the classes had a Burns themed lesson on Friday but my only contribution was a glass of Jameson's.
I've just realized that Jameson's is NOT scotch. Forgive this weary sassenach, please Mudcat Caledonians.
Best as usual, Nigel.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 06:33 AM

Kat, at that time (London time) on Saturday morning, Jane would have been taking a short drive (her husband driving) to watch her eldest daughter play in a Netball match. As Ann has come home for the weekend, we don't know whether she actually made the match. Netball is a game Jane played (and loved) into adulthood, right up until about a month before she received her initial diagnosis. So yes, something significant was (we hope!) happening in that Jane was going to watch her daughter play a game they both love & at which they both excel(d).
       Charlie, good to hear from you. How was Burn's Night?
       ChanteyLass, you used the word: "Fortitude". The Oxford English Dictionary defines "Fortitude" as: "Courage in pain & adversity". You couldn't have chosen a more apposite word.
      
       As most of you know, my working life has been devoted to Music. What most of you don't know is that some years ago, a complete career change presented itself. I went back to uni, part time & for six years, trained as a Psychotherapist. Whilst on my final clinical placement in a hospital, my own health gave way & the therapist became the patient.
       My point is that, despite a wealth of knowledge & experience of 'The Human Condition', it counts for very little when one's own Family is concerned. That's where you Good Folk come in; that's why I used words like 'steadfast' & 'resilience'. I know well enough how to support others, but I'm rendered impotent when it comes to supporting myself. Ann & I can't cope anymore without You All. Kat, you wrote: ".....it's ok, don't be brave on our account. We can be your strength". As I said above: "Your resilience & steadfastness is breathtaking".
      With Love & eternal Gratitude,
                                                   Nigel & Ann.
                                                   xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 11:35 PM

Nigel, remember, if you need to rant, weep, etc. , it's okay...don't "be brave" on our account. We can be your strength.

I don't know if there is any significance, but at 345 am, my time (7 hrs behind London time), early Saturday morning, I woke up with you all very clearly in my mind.

Much love and thanks givings for the best possible outcome for all concerned,

kat

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 03:42 PM

Just updating my best thoughts to you and yours, Nigel.
Charlie

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 03:24 PM

As always, I am hoping for the best possible results from the five days of treatment Jane will have. It sounds like truly a "One Day at a Time" experience. I wish her and all her family fortitude.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 08:58 AM

Fervent hopes for good results from the radiation therapy.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 07:51 AM

hugs to Jane & her family & friends next week

ssandra

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 07:44 AM

Janie, I can't thank you enough for the trouble you've gone to to bring "Softening the Belly... of Sorrow" to us. A remarkable piece that resonates with me on several different levels. I have not come across the work of Stephen Levine before. A writer I have found helpful & insightful in the past is Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, particularly when one is dealing with end of life issues.
    Dean, 'Swimming on the Other Side'. A beautiful song, beautifully sung & played. And you're right, I don't think it is particularly well known in the UK. Thank you for thoughtfully providing the link. From this musician's p.o.v., it has a James 'Tayoresque' feel to it.
    Maeve, Gnu, Wendy, Sandra, Pete, Allison, Spaw, Chantey Lass, Kat, all of you who have come on board, next week is going to be particularly stressful for Jane: five consecutive days of radiotherapy delivered to her brain. Scares the hell out of all of us & yet Jane is remarkably sanguine about the forthcoming treatment.
    Today, I want to finish by re-quoting Bruce: "I have loved you since you were born." The daughter replied, "I know that, mom, but I have loved you all my life." Truly a pearl amongst a sea of tears. Bruce, you don't need to do any more than you do already to lighten my load. Knowing that You; knowing that all of you are out there, so far yet so near is more than I could have ever hoped for. Your resilience & steadfastness is breathtaking,
                     With Love,
                                    Nigel & Ann.
                                    xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 05:55 AM

Thanks froggy... beautiful tune.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 05:11 AM

thanks for the link, I know "Never Turning back" but didn't know who wrote it.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 04:55 AM

Thanks Dean. Yes- that's the feeling.

It's dark and bitter cold here, but I know there is light for all.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 26 Jan 13 - 04:51 AM

Beautiful song, I had not heard it before, started my day in a thoughtful way,
Thank you

Wendy,Still here Nigel,
xxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 08:12 PM

maeve just reminded me of this,; I don't know if it's familiar outside the U.S.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 07:30 PM

Walking...swimming alongside.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 07:29 PM

The Keekee birds are froze solid here but there is warmth and comfort on this thread. That may sound odd but the warmth and caring that I witness herein warms my heart. Much more than the "block heater"??? on my Ford truck... remote start my ass!

That wasn't a direction, Spaw... just a whine.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 07:19 PM

still thoughts and prayers   pete

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 02:05 PM

How well I know that ache in the belly, my friends. Nigel, I am here keeping vigil still. Holding you and your loved ones in the light.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 04:29 AM

love to all

sandra

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 25 Jan 13 - 03:12 AM

Janie, Thank you!

Nigel and Ann, still here,

much love,

Wendy xxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 24 Jan 13 - 10:13 PM

Something I've never written before; so Spaw, if I may crave your indulgence:

    "Nothing much I can say to add to the beauty here". Ann & I are here & here we will remain.

                  With Love & Deepest Gratitude to All our Precious, Precious Friends,
                                                 Nigel & Ann.
                                                 xxxxxxxxxx

PS   Janie, I'm writing this at 03:06. I was awakened by an uncomfortable ache....in my stomach! True!!
                        N x

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jan 13 - 09:46 PM

Nothing much I can say to add to the beauty here. We are all here Nigel, and here we will remain.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jan 13 - 09:13 PM

As I think I said much earlier in this thread, I am not Buddhist but there are many practices and principals stemming from that philosophy that have been helpful to me personally, and which I have observed to be helpful to others in my work as a psychotherapist.

I stumbled across the work and writings of Stephen Levine 25 years ago while seeking ways to cope with my older sister's diagnosis of breast cancer and my own, less serious but very scary diagnosis and treatment for cancer during part of that same period.         


Softening the Belly... of Sorrow
by Stephen Levine • New Mexico

Reprinted from: Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart ©
by Stephen Levine (Rodale, 2005.)

(Note to Mudcatters: I copied this from another website that reprinted it - Janie)

We hold our grief hard in the belly. We store fear and disappointment, anger and guilt in our gut. Our belly has become fossilized with a long resistance to life and to loss. Each withdrawal, each attempt to numb our grief, turns the belly to stone. Have mercy on this pain you have carried for so long, the pain that sometimes makes you want to jump out of your body.

Quite naturally, in the process of girding for self-protection, our belly guards old wounds and steels for the battle. Over the years, we have buried the ache of impermanence and the remnants of fear and helplessness there. A shield develops across our abdomen, which mirrors the armoring over our heart. As we soften around the sensations and gradually move into them, they melt at the edge. It's not opposing the hardness but rather meeting it with soft mercy, knowing that we cannot let go of anything we do not accept. But sometimes, as much out of exhaustion as self-mercy, we momentarily let go of the rigidity that holds our suffering in place. Our belly softens just for a moment, and we get a glimpse beyond grief.

When we soften the fear-hardened belly, letting go of the tightness gives us space in which to process afflictive emotions. When we begin to soften to the knot of sensations that accompany a sense of loss in the belly, heart and mind, there is a gradual release of pressure. As we soften to the fear, anger and distrust that hardens us against life, we discover a lifetime's worth of grief in the belly. This is our unattended sorrow, from beyond which some inherent mercy calls upon us to release the heart.

As we soften the belly, letting go of trying to control the rise and fall of each breath but instead observing it as sensations come and go with each inhalation and exhalation, we begin to free level after level of holding. In the levels and levels of softening are levels and levels of letting go. Let old holdings begin to float in the new openness created by softening, as there arises a new willingness to heal, to go beyond our pain. As we begin to soften the belly, we unburden the body and mind of their automatic withdrawal from and walling-off of pain. As these burdens begin to lift, we find ourselves a bit lighter and the road ahead that much easier to travel; we're a bit more able to continue on with our lives.

"Going on with our lives," though it may seem somehow sacrilege, is in our own time the work we do to honor the life we share with all who have ever been born and will ever die. By opening into the possibilities of the heart, expanding the space that is able to absorb all that is let go of, we are able to find our own true compass of what is appropriate to our own healing and go mercifully on with our lives.

Gradually, our attention settles into the abdomen and begins riding the rising and falling of the ocean of our breath. On the inhalation, the belly rises with the tide. On the exhalation, the tide goes out. A liberating awareness begins to settle in as we soften to the breath and to the distrust that hardens us to life. Let thoughts come and let thoughts go in a soft belly, without holding, and without resistance.

The healing practice of attending our sorrow is done by: Sitting quietly, closing your eyes and just letting your attention come into the sensations of the body. Feeling the body you sit in, you begin to bring your attention into the abdomen, feeling the belly rise and fall with each breath. And you begin to soften the abdominal muscles, letting go of whatever holding tightens your belly and maintains your suffering, softening the tissue all the way into the belly.

Make room for the breath as it breathes itself in soft belly, noticing how much grief there is in the form of resistance and an ache held deep in the belly. So much fear and armoring. Let it all float in soft belly, not hardening it to suffering, just letting it be in soft belly, in merciful belly.

Let go with each inhalation, softening the belly. Let go with each exhalation, making peace. Soften the belly to uncover the heart. Each exhalation lets out the pain. Make room for our life in soft belly.

Expectation, judgment, doubt and all sorts of old griefs congregate in the belly. Softening allows them to disperse. Pains, fears and doubts dissolve into the softness, the spaciousness of a merciful belly. Even the hardness floats in the softness. And there's nothing to change; we are just attending to ourselves; there is no urgency in soft belly.

There is room for our pain in soft belly. The spaciousness in the belly mirrors the opening of the heart.

When you open your eyes, maintaining this increased awareness, notice at what point the belly tightens once again. At what point does the sense of loss reassert itself and you feel a need to protect against further pain? At what point does the armoring reestablish its long presence?
Soften with the eyes wide open to the world, softening to the pain we all share and the legacy of healing exposed in our deepening softness.

Many people say they come back to softening the belly dozens of times a day. And it's a better day for it. Some begin the day with this exercise for fifteen minutes or more and notice how this softening in the body produces a deeply relieving letting go in the mind.

There are considerable gradations of our capacity to stay soft and work with things that we don't think we can. When we think we're not up to our grief, that's a form of grief. When we distrust ourselves and the process, our grief sometimes misinforms us about our capacity to work with it. When we soften to that grief, we find that even when we feel hopeless, we are not helpless.
Softening the belly won't perfect us, but it can set us free. It initiates a letting go which frees the mind to open the heart.

We hold our unattended sorrow hostage in the belly, marbled in the muscle tissue with fear. Our resistance to life and our impatience with ourselves rigidifies the belly and excludes the possibilities of the heart. It makes shallow the breath. But softening the muscles, softening even the flesh, letting go of the age-old tension held there as if our life depended on it, invites the breath, invites life, deeper within.

When we come back again and again throughout the day to a soft belly, a sense of ease increases, which allows the quality of being loving to flow unimpeded, as natural as breathing.
Softening the belly demonstrates how self-mercy affects our reality.

In a soft belly, there is room to live and to grow, as our nature allows. Room to let go of the judgment that considers us somehow imperfect, room to send with each softening breath loving kindness into the grateful heart.

Stephen Levine has written a number of books. I have looked at many of them, bought a few that I couldn't make my way through, but found a couple of them extremely helpful and those couple are books I still go back and read and draw from in my work and in my personal life.
In particular, I recommend Healing into Life and Death

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 24 Jan 13 - 06:24 PM

I'm still here with you, too, Nigel, and still wishing I could do more.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Jan 13 - 12:09 AM

Nigel, I, too, have been feeling the unbearable which you all face. Words are inadequate, but please know a flow of empathy, love, and what comfort there can be in such a situation, continues from here to you all. Be kind to yourselves,,,it is a fragile time for all.

With much love,

kat

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 10:19 PM

Nigel, what you said brings to mind a profound exchange I read somewhere in the distant past. A mother said to her daughter, "I have loved you since you were born." The daughter replied, "I know that, mom, but I have loved you all my life."

You have no idea how much I wish I could take some of this weight from you.

B

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:51 PM

Nigel and Ann

keeping you and Jane in our prayers

with love

Wendy and Billy xxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:17 PM

nigel-i can almost feel the pain and helplesness expressed in your post.still praying       pete.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 10:52 AM

Can't think of anything to say but "still here".

Pete

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 08:08 AM

Nigel and Ann,

Sometimes we just have to endure. I'm there too.

Love,

Maeve

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:48 AM

I've spent most of my adult working life concerned with time; time, that is within the context of Music. It was a detail largely predetermined by myself, over which I had complete control. I now find myself in a situation where a different aspect time has been wrested from my grasp; all control has gone & worse still, I have no knowledge of how much time remains & no one to whom I can turn who might provide that elusive answer.
      Much has happened & is happening this week, none of which can I bring myself to write about, not even in the most general terms; it's just too close to an inexorable truth I'm not ready to face.
      As ever, writing in the 1st person, but substituting 'we' for 'I' is something you may care to do.
      Janie, I will be replying to your profoundly moving PM just as soon as.
      With Love to You All,
                                     Nigel & Ann.
                                     xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Jan 13 - 05:32 PM

I hope Tommy continues to improve.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Jan 13 - 01:01 AM

Nurse Ratchet would make Tommy behave

sandra

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 21 Jan 13 - 06:51 PM

stayed in london over weekend and we went to funeral in norfolk today,back to the hospital to find tommy still getting stronger and giving the nurses a hard time!.in late but checking in as you have still been in my thoughts while away.
God bless   pete

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 13 - 02:40 PM

Like froggy said, every day.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Jan 13 - 10:22 AM

My heart, love and good thoughts are with you all.

kat

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 06:45 PM

Just know that I continue to check the Rainbow's heading, and think of you all, each day.
                         Dean

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 06:21 PM

love it, thank you xx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 03:01 PM

Oops! hate it when I click on Submit instead of Make a Link! http://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/mighty-bright-clear-xtraflex-led-booklight/16651005?ean=9781935009061

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 02:59 PM

Aw, Wendy, can you get a mini-book light, the kind that clamps on to the book or to a clipboard if you want to write instead of reading? Something like this:

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 08:47 AM

Nigel,

thank you for your kind words, must say that if you were to see me in the early hours making tea and trying not to wake Billy then finding mum back in a deep sleep and not drinking the cuppa that minutes before was the only thing in the world she needed, you might not be so kind and complimentary!! Can anyone explain that when you are woken in the night and simply must get back to sleep, sleep never comes? Cannot get up and do the hoovering or ironing as that would wake the house , as would putting the TV on or turning on the light to read a book!

So pleased to see that Jane was able to go out to the restaurant with you, here's hoping that the new treatment has no nasty side effects.

Sitting by a lovely log fire watching the snow fall in the garden,wishing you all a peaceful Sunday

much love
Wendy xxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 20 Jan 13 - 07:21 AM

Janie, you could well be right on several counts. The orally administered chemo seems to have been particularly troublesome. This week, Jane returns to intravenous delivery; small doses, different drug, over an extended period of time. The thought that fills our heads through every waking moment is that none of this treatment is curative. An extension of Life; a forestalling of the cancer for an undetermined period is the best that's on offer.
       Gnu, it's not the depth, it's the quality. What you bring to our Thread is a unique take on Life, full of quality & qualities found in no other posts. You're where you're needed most...here!
       ChanteyLass, if you DO find that wand, start waving pdq!
       From a very snowy, cold London,
                                                         With Love,
                                                                        Nigel & Ann.
                                                                        xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 19 Jan 13 - 07:57 PM

Like others here, I continue to keep Jane in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was more to do. If I had a magic wand, I would wave it in her direction.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jan 13 - 05:41 PM

Row, row, row your boat... lots a rowing of the collective boat going on here.

Nah... I still can seem to say anything poetic or "depthful".

Right. I'm just "here".

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jan 13 - 05:35 PM

Good to hear from you, Nigel, and especially good to hear that Jane has been much better the last day or so. Perhaps the chemo regimen she was on was particularly intolerable to her system and it has taken time for her to begin to recover from the effects. May the ensuing treatments not only be effective in holding the cancer at bay, but much better tolerated!

Still pulling at the oars for all and with all.

Janie

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 19 Jan 13 - 05:56 AM

Only four days have passed since I last posted & there's been so much activity. Things beginning to move in the right direction for Tommy & Pete.Then there's Roy and Bugsy, Wendy's mum, Paws's friend & probably a whole host of other Folk we haven't yet met! Forgive me for singling out one particular person......Wendy. She seems to have a most onerous burden to bear, yet her posts are full of optimism & light. You've come a long way, Wendy, since your first, tentative posts.You have grown into a shining beacon of hope, compassion & support. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say you have the Love & Respect of the entire Crew.
       Henry, those beautiful words from Nic Jones resonate very strongly with me too.
       Janie, you wrote about paradox. You're timing was just about perfect. Jane's overall condition has worsened considerably. The cancer continues to spread, but not content with that, it has mutated as well, so a completely different Treatment Plan is now in place & herein lies the paradox. She has not been out of the house since before Christmas; unable to eat & drink & barely able to move from one room to another. Two days ago, she cooked a meal for her whole Family & yesterday, Ann, Jane, Jane's husband & myself had lunch at a local Italian restaurant. Jane polished off her main course AND had most of her desert too. By the time we returned home, she was understandably tired & duly slept for an hour or two; but her new treatment regime does not begin until next week! The pre & post Christmas 'paradox' is wonderful to see, but so difficult to explain. Life, in all it's many guises, never ceases to amaze & enthral me. I can live with the paradoxical & indeed, would find Life & Living less dynamic & vibrant without it, but it does tend to raise more questions than it answers!
       So, my Dear Friends, set the the sails; chart a course, onwards we sail,
                           With Love,
                                          Nigel & Ann.
                                          xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jan 13 - 04:58 AM

Couldn't think of anything that hasn't been said, and said better, in so many of the posts. I pondered. Finally, I happened to read a past post of mine just above the box I am now typing in. I am now content with simply this... still here.