Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 02 May 13 - 10:42 PM

When I saw the number of posts, I wondered who did 2000. I'm not surprised that it is Spaw, not to be confused with Paws!

Paws, prayers are on their way for your friends who are ill and their caretakers.

Ranger1, I think it is good that you have taken action. I hope you and your brother can work something out.

Wendy, this morning I went to a talk about dementia, most specifically Alzheimer's. I don't know if that is the form of dementia your mother has, but I was thinking of you. I heard many things I already knew about Alzheimer's but also one that was new to me, though it has nothing to do with being able to locate a certain room. If it never helps your mom, it may help someone else. Apparently people with Alzheimer's at some point start to perceive anything black as a hole. Since most wheelchairs are black, they go rigid when a caregiver tries to lower them into wheelchairs because they think they are going to be dropped through a hole. One patient lived in a home with a black mat in front of the toilet and would walk around to the side and sit sideways on the toilet so she wouldn't fall through the hole (mat).

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 03 May 13 - 04:27 AM

Oh my goodness ,thank you, I didn't know about black but it really makes so much sense!. I know that in the evenings I need to keep bright lights on( I am a candle and table lamp girl) because otherwise mum thinks it is night. Now it is so light early in the mornings we need black out curtains otherwise she is up with the lark and dressed by five oclock!
Shiney floors, like in hospitals look wet so a person with dementia with stiffen up in case they slip and that itself can cause a fall! One tip I had was to have darker tones on walls if you have a pale carpet, mine are cream and the walls were coffee and cream and mum cant work out where the floor ends and the walls begin!

Its the start of another day here and mum sounds a bit wheezy so when her carer comes I will see if I can get a Doctor's appointment as it is a holiday Monday and I don't want to go three days without her seeing a Doctor?

Once the lovely carer arrives I am off to the salon to be an aromatherapist for the morning, soft music, scented candles, so I am able to escape for a while each day, so don't worry about me :-)

Sailing on,

Wendy
xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 13 - 02:29 PM

Good info on dimentia! There oughta be a thread?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 03 May 13 - 11:10 PM

Glad to pass on some info! Today I sent an email to my son telling him about some of the things I heard--just in case I develop this condition. I told him if I ever got a black wheelchair I want him to put a light-colored pad on the seat.

It's hard to believe Mudcat has no thread on this subject already. Should I start one, perhaps labelled "Dementia tips?" I am not good at finding out if threads already exist and would hate to start a duplicate thread.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 04 May 13 - 04:41 AM

We seem to have transitioned from 'Healing thoughts & Prayers' to 'Jane's Rainbow' without a hitch. It's always good to hear from folk who may have posted some time ago & then revisit weeks, sometimes months later with an update (often good news).
          Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined we would crest the 2000 mark & still be going strong. The breadth & depth of your posts are quite remarkable. A tangible sense of trust & confidence has steadily grown over the last seventeen months, so, particularly new visitors realise very quickly that they will be welcomed, supported, informed, advised, comforted....we do our best to help with the multitude of skills, training & experience from which we can draw.
         'The Rainbow' sails on, not troubled by wind or current, crewed by some truly precious & gifted individuals. The sun is over the yard arm; I raise a glass to you all (non-alcoholic of course!),
             With Love,
                            Nigel & Ann.
                            xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 May 13 - 05:10 AM

& I raise my lemonade to you!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 13 - 06:29 AM

Nigel... 17 months. Gosh. 17 months of sharing and caring by many. Quite the crew.

CLass... yes. Past threads will be linked to if any exist. I just searched "dimentia" in the entire base and came up empty. "Alzhemer" produced several but the last one which may be of value is almost two years old to the day. I think it's a good idea so go for it.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 04 May 13 - 05:17 PM

Nigel, lovely to hear from you. You built this ship and did a fine job.

Gnu, will do!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 13 - 05:21 PM

"Alzhemer"... there ya don't go, eh?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 06 May 13 - 05:16 AM

ChanteyLass, thank you for your kind & generous words. Never really saw myself as a 'shipwright'; certainly not in the literal sense. I'm happy to accept that I laid the keel, but 'The Rainbow' has been built, maintained & crewed by the finest group of people who ever sailed the internet! Ann & I need you all just as much now as we ever did. Externally, we're putting on a brave face, internally we're both hurting badly. Neither of us is remotely close to accepting the fact that Jane is no longer with us. We see her face at every turn. Yes, we do talk about how we are feeling, in private, at home, but it's going to take a while before we actually begin to grieve. We're stuck in the: 'Still can't believe it's happened' stage; expecting her to suddenly reappear,as if she's just been on holiday for a few weeks.
             Good & loyal Friends, take care of the ship. Ann & I will be on light duties for a while.
             With Love,
                            Nigel & Ann.
                            xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 13 - 06:19 AM

She "appears" every time you think of her. She will always do so but the hurting part lessens; it ebbs and rises as do the tides. With a good captain and crew, the ship stays afloat. This ship will sail forever.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 06 May 13 - 07:51 PM

Gnu said ut well. And Nigel and Ann, remember that this crew will be here for you.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 13 - 09:55 PM

"Neither of us is remotely close to accepting the fact that Jane is no longer with us. We see her face at every turn. Yes, we do talk about how we are feeling, in private, at home, but it's going to take a while before we actually begin to grieve. We're stuck in the: 'Still can't believe it's happened' stage; expecting her to suddenly reappear,as if she's just been on holiday for a few weeks." Nigel

After my friend, Juneau's Buddy Tabor, died last year a number of us had the same reaction, I think. As one friend said a few months later, "I haven't even begun to accept it."

Complicating the processing, I think, was the fact that Buddy each year went on tour (He was a musician) for a few months and we kept feeling it was just about time for him to return. Perhaps, since Jane had her own home and family, you are experiencing somewhat the same kind of feeling?

Just keep remembering you have a great many people holding you close.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 08 May 13 - 03:50 PM

i dont think time heals completely but we slowly recover .may precious remembrances bring comfort. blessings   pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 09 May 13 - 07:23 AM

Been I while since I checked in, but I'm still on board.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 13 - 09:40 PM

What Mr. Jennings said....

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 10 May 13 - 05:42 AM

good morning all.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 May 13 - 05:44 AM

& good evening to you!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 13 - 05:58 AM

I expect pretty much everybody is still peeking in when there is some activity. Just seems like that kinda crowd.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 10 May 13 - 07:03 AM

"Mr. Jennings"! I'm honoured, Janie!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 10 May 13 - 08:12 PM

I'm stiil popping my head up on deck and looking around each day.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 11 May 13 - 12:16 AM

Indeed, it is that kind of crowd. And I'm part of it.

I went to a wake tonight. One of my cousin's son was walking with his wife and another woman along a sea wall in Gloucester, Massachusetts, when a wave swept him and the other woman into the sea. His wife called 911, but the Coast Guard and local police could only retrieve the bodies. My cousin, of course, is devastated as are her daughters and her son's widow.

I still can't imagine what it is like to have a child die first. None of us expect that.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 11 May 13 - 04:43 AM

Sending love to your cousin and her family, no words can mend the shock and grief,

Wendy xxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 11 May 13 - 06:11 AM

i remember how devastating it was when i lost my brother in 1990 .amazingly my mum and dad gave up smoking at that time despite their grief.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 11 May 13 - 08:11 AM

"I still can't imagine what it is like to have a child die first. None of us expect that."

       ChanteyLass, our hearts go out to you & your Family. Your words ring painfully true.
       Sending you Much Love & holding you in our thoughts,
                                                                                           Nigel & Ann.
                                                                                           xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 11 May 13 - 07:05 PM

Thank you, Nigel and Ann.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 12 May 13 - 03:33 AM

Ann & I will be in Charlotte NC in the not too distant future. We wondered whether any of you who live within striking distance would like to meet?. PM me for the details & we'll take it from there.
                               With Love to You All,
                                                             Nigel & Ann.
                                                             xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 12 May 13 - 10:05 AM

Oh, Nigel, how I wish I could! I live over 1000 miles away from NC, and have a very busy May and June, but will be thinking of you!

I'm still here, but it's May. Not here as often, but think of you all every day.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 May 13 - 07:32 PM

love to ChantyLass's family

sandra (back to the oars)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 12 May 13 - 10:51 PM

Thank you, Sandra.

Nigel, I wish I could get to North Carolina to meet you and Ann. Then I could give you real hugs instead of virtual ones. If you ever get to Rhode Island, or even New England, or if I ever get to the UK again, I'll try to meet you.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 14 May 13 - 06:32 AM

Wishing everyone on board a very Good Morning from a rather overcast East London (We're good at 'overcast' in the UK!)
       Our trip to NC hangs in the balance. The flight costs have really rocketed. The cheapest fare we've found so far (round trip for two) is in excess of £1500.00!! travelling 'restricted economy'. The only carrier who can fly us direct is US Airways; neither of us is keen to make stops. Our NC based daughter is looking at booking for us, but she is encountering similar prices. As our lovely son-in-law would say: "Drat & double drat!"
       It's Ann's birthday on Thursday, so a nice lunch on Thursday & tickets for 'Top Hat' (The musical) on Friday. Celebrating & Grieving simultaneously...not easy, but we're going to give it our best shot.
                     With Love to You All,
                                                    Nigel & Ann.
                                                    xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 14 May 13 - 07:26 AM

yes,it is hard to get fired up too much on celebrations so soon after a loss.my 60th was soon after mum died and i did,nt do the party till september ,but i think you are right to carry on despite the sadness and wish you a great time.blessings    pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 14 May 13 - 02:39 PM

Tomorrow at this time we will be well on our way to Maui. Actually by Hawaii time we will be about there by this time. We won't be taking anything connectable except a cell phone, so you probably won't hear from me for approx 13 days. With what this bunch has come to mean to mean, I won't be forgetting you all in the meantime.

          Dean

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 May 13 - 03:24 PM

So sorry, Nigel. I have been mostly absent from Mudcat lately so missed the sad news. I don't know if I can offer any real comfort. I don't know if I found it for myself since losing my daughter (age 23) in 2005.

What I can say with the passing of time (so the saying must be true about it healing all wounds) I feel the anger, outrage, disillusionment, sorrow a little less robustly now. The moments of despair are fewer and further between. And I have been able to find some joy in memories and in doing things I know my Andie would have loved. I just consciously ask her to come along and imagine how she would engage with these events.

But then I get a punch in the gut like this morning. Just after talking with TSO about getting the videos of Andie's concerts onto DVD before the VHS tapes disintegrate, BBC R 4 played a little clip of Pachelbel Canon in D. That snip was used in the opening of something Andie sang in high school Bach to Rock choir concert. A full blown memory flooded back of her smiling face, singing, hair style and the clothes she was wearing. I just fell apart on the drive into work. I have not looked at the videos since before she passed away. I cannot bear too. Yet I remembered every detail of that little bit of the the concert. And I counted it a blessing that I could remember it in such detail.

There may be times when your future will be peppered with these kinds of memories. Even the tenor of your feeling about them will probably change as mine has.

I hope my rambling here, offers you some comfort. If not, please just ignore it. Every person must grieve in the way that most suits them.

Sending you and your wife much love.

Tamara

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 13 - 03:30 PM

Nigel... "Celebrating & Grieving simultaneously...not easy, but we're going to give it our best shot."

Reload and fill the air fulla lead!

Sorta like priase the lord and pass the ammunition but a bit closer to my home.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 15 May 13 - 04:42 AM

Tamara, every one of your heartfelt words make perfect sense. Beautifully expressed. A shared experience which reminds me, yet again, we are not alone.
Gnu, thank you for making me laugh. Humour, once more in short supply. We learned last night that Jane's Father-in-Law has died. We had rather hoped that Death had moved out of our neighbourhood, but it would appear s/he's not done with us yet. 2013...those last two digits are beginning to live up to their superstitious reputation.
             Bowed, but unbroken, we send Love to You All,
                                                                                     Nigel & Ann.
                                                                                     xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 06:01 AM

Oh my.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 15 May 13 - 06:44 AM

Dear Nigel and Ann,

sending out love and thinking of you and Jane's family,
you are in the hearts of all the Rainbow crew,and we are always here.

with much love

Wendy and Billy
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:19 AM

perhaps her f-i-l didn't like her going alone or he needed some extra help from her? Either way my condolences to all of the families.

uvyakat


/

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 13 - 12:06 AM

((((((((hugs)))))))))

Janie

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 May 13 - 05:10 AM

special love & hugs to Jane's husband & children, Nigel & Ann & families & friends.

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 16 May 13 - 07:02 AM

Still here.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 May 13 - 01:11 PM

Sorry I'm not posting as much but things are a bit tough right now and don't get into long stuff right now.

Nigel and Ann.....Don't know what to say except to send hugs and good thoughts. And to the rest of you in this crew, forgive me. Hemoglobin and red blood cell count has dropped but on the best possible note, at least it has been about 2 months since the last transfusion which was MUCH longer than before. More Vidaza next week......

Sailing on and happy to be aboard!


Spaw

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: KT
Date: 16 May 13 - 03:14 PM

Checking in after being away for a bit ~ sending loving thoughts and caring to all of you who are struggling right now. Truly, holding you all in heart and mind as I go up into the mountains today. KT

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 16 May 13 - 07:02 PM

Up Spaw!

sending love

Wendy xxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 16 May 13 - 11:23 PM

I'm sorry about Jane's father-in-law. That is more heartache too soon. My love to you and all of your extended family who are mourning again.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: olddude
Date: 16 May 13 - 11:51 PM

Mom wrote us all a letter - each one of us before she died. It was beautiful ... but ripped my heart out. She said she was blessed to have such wonderful kids. I still can't cry ... I think I just hurt so much that stuff inside shuts down ...

tough week. I will be fine , like her I am a man of faith. But boy does it suck. She was everything to all of us. Loved loved kids .. any kid .. could do no wrong. Young neighbor girl would bring her toddler twins over to see mom. The little people's feet would not touch the floor cause mom would be carrying them .. Love kids, loved her family, loved God ... strong feisty woman who never hurt anyone in her life. The first there when anyone was in trouble and the last to leave. Never had money but certainly had what counted in life. I could never ever live up to the bar she set for us to follow.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: olddude
Date: 17 May 13 - 12:09 AM

My daughters are taking it hard. They adored their grandma. They say I am a rock ... no I am not. I just can't afford to lose it .. all that does it make them hurt even more .. I refuse to lose it .. so I rely on my faith .. for me and Mom, that has always worked for lifes turmoil.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: olddude
Date: 17 May 13 - 12:18 AM

If there is one good thing it is no regrets. Mom never hung up the phone without hearing whoever was on the other line saying "I love you Mom" or I love you Grandma. She knew it and heard it all the time. That I am so thankful for .. never ever stop telling those you love that you love them .. never stop ... And like Mom always said, words are important but deeds speak even louder .. don't say it .. show it. Never go to bed without saying "what have I done right today"

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 May 13 - 02:54 AM

love & hugs, olddude to you & your family

sandra