Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,gnu from Mudcat awe
Date: 17 Sep 15 - 12:48 PM

Oh dear me, Janie! Ts&Ps X 10!

That's http://awe.mudcat.org as Mudcat is down.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 17 Sep 15 - 11:40 AM

Janie, Janie, Janie...I can't imagine how you even managed to post. Wishing you relief from pain at the earliest possible moment...I wish we could send more than just good thoughts, but it's all we have & they are sent in abundance,
                Holding you close,
                                              Much Love,
                                                                Nigel & Ann
                                                                xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 17 Sep 15 - 09:25 AM

Dear sakes, Janie. Sending you an email.
Love,
Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 17 Sep 15 - 07:18 AM

Fell on a slick floor at work Monday and have badly shattered my left femur. ,still in fog from surgery severe pain and morphine. Hop e this makes sense. Good thoughts please

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 16 Sep 15 - 11:53 AM

Wishing all my Jewish friends in America a slightly belated Happy New Year. May the year to come be full of goodness,
                                           With Love,
                                                            Nigel.
                                                            xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 08:36 AM

Thanks for sharing, Nigel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 11 Sep 15 - 04:06 AM

A heartfelt thank you from Ann & myself...time does heal...slowly, gradually the pain becomes less intense but the memories remain, bright & fresh...need the memories, they are our one true source of comfort.

Remembering our Friends in America. Many of whom have only memories to which they can cling.
             Sending Love to You All,
                                                   Nigel & Ann.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 10:39 PM

Nigel, I am glad you were able to get together with others who loved Jane and were so close to her. I am also glad you shared happy memories. And the tears that came later? Well, those are good, too. Shed them whenever you need to.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 09:46 PM

Lovely, Nigel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 12:35 PM

Feeling for you , Nigel and ann, but glad you were able to hold a positive remembrance. Blessings.       Pete

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 09:46 AM

same from me

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 06:55 AM

xxxx sending love Nigel

Wendy

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 10 Sep 15 - 04:34 AM

Jane would've celebrated her 50th birthday yesterday. Ann & I, accompanied by Jane's husband & our youngest granddaughter, had a very pleasant & surprisingly joyful lunch. Plenty of reminiscing & laughter & no tears...they came much later on the journey home when Ann & I had to take our leave. It was a good day with several indications as to how far we've all come with our grieving.
                                                       With Love to You All,
                                                                                     Nigel & Ann
                                                                                     xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 08:25 PM

Hey, look at it this way! Now we have a whole year to pray for, send good thoughts for, (whatever you fancy), Nicola! And let's keep others in this thread in our hearts and prayers, too!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 06:22 PM

Thanks for the update, bubblyrat. Sorry there is follow-up needed, but glad it is not needed for a year, and also, that follow-up to keep an eye on the situation is available! Be well, Mrs. bubblyrat!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 05:58 PM

Well, that's good and kinda bad news. Great that they are "good" polyps but it sucks that she has to suck that nasty "make ya shit through a screen door without touchin a wire" stuff back again in a year when it's poop chute inspection time again. Overall, great news really.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: bubblyrat
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 07:57 AM

Thank you all so much ! Nicola is home and recovering , having had FIVE polyps excised . At first ,I was told that she might be kept in hospital, but she was allowed home in the end. That is the good news....bad news is that there are still a lot , not life-threatening,but in need of future attention ; another examination in 12 months time ( I'll be back !! ) . And thanks again. xxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 08:11 PM

Aloft!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 08:51 PM

What Chantylass said!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 08:16 PM

Bubblyrat, please let us know the results. I'm adding Nicola to my prayers.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 11:21 AM

Mrs. (and Mr.) bubblyrat : my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 08:19 AM

Virginia Tam, Pete, Nicola (and Bubblyrat), Lisa; pulling for peace, strength and comfort for you all.
          Dean

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: bubblyrat
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 06:32 AM

Kind ,healing thoughts please for Nicola Christie ( Mrs bubblyrat if you will ) who goes into Cheltenham Hospital tomorrow for a rather unpleasant procedure which will almost certainly involve the removal of polyps ; I shall elaborate no further. We are both rather worried .Thankyou.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 12:44 PM

Ditto, ditto, ditto.......

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 06:18 AM

VT...Lisa & her son...Pete & Tommy & all those good folk for whom life is difficult, distressing, complex & awkward to manage: you are thought of, prayed for & held close in our hearts. The geographical distances that separate so many of us can be bridged in a trice thanks to Mudcat & The Crew of Jane's Rainbow.
                                           With Love,
                                                          Nigel.
                                                          xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 05:06 PM

Sounds like the place just about has it all. Hope your own ailments stabilise soon. Pete

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 09:18 PM

What Maeve said.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 08:42 AM

Thank you Gnu. I have seen the Eat Well dishes and will look into getting some for Mum, but after the move, as she is likely to tidy them away somewhere, never to be found until the house is cleared.

Billybob, Chris' sister has P of A over the contents of the flat. They have applied to buy a flat at this assisted living place. There is at least one available, from what I understand. This place has 24/7 on site care staff as wll as management, a restaurant, free laundry facilities, cleaning team, and one (potentially soon to be 2 if they decide to decommission the gym) guest suites, activity and meeting lounge, hair dresser and chiropodist. Dad seems very keen from the phone chat we had today with brother in law.

I've had to come home from work early last 2 days as I am unwell in the extreme. On antibiotics and off biologics and chemo until this supposed infection clears. I think maybe the relief is a stress of a different kind.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and advice.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 07:52 AM

Hi VT,   Get your father in law to do the P of A asap. It took me 14 months!! Also make sure you have both Finance and property AND Health and welfare, two different things now.

See if your father in law has an Admiral Nurse in the area. ( to help the carer not the patient.) They will help him cope and are a wonderful support.

I so wish you were not walking this road, as I know, it is a very long and stressful one.

Wishing you love and stay on board for all the wonderful support this crew gives!

Wendy xxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 05:49 AM

Also thinking of friends P-Vine and Bobert, mentioned by Janie earlier... and the rest of yez, always and ever!
Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 04:09 AM

VT...very pleased to read that change for the good has come so quickly.
Maeve, add me to your 'Thoughts for Lisa & her Son'. It sounds like they both need support to the max.
                              With Love,
                                              Nigel.
                                              xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 08:40 PM

Thinking of Lisa and her son tonight.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 06:49 PM

gnu, I hope you accepted the tea or dram (or both?) Janie offered and that it helped.

VTam, I'm pleased to hear that things are moving for in positive ways.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 01:19 PM

VTam... glad to hear things are coming together!

I like this.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 10:49 AM

Hot dang if Nigel wasn't right. Well you all are. Thanks. After years of worrying myself literally sick over my Mom and my parents in law, and hating my job and thie horrible flat we live in, things are finally starting to slot into place.

My Brother has decided to remodel his ground floor to make bedroom and full bathroom for our Mom. No need for stairs or chair lift which was really scary for her. She aggreed for my son (nearest relative) to be her power of attorney so he can get her house into selling condition. Brotyher's wife is home all day now as they now foster kids along with their own. So Mom won't be alone in the house during the day.

Got an email from the sister in law, Dad in law really likes the assisted care place they went to visit on Saturday. Mum in law seemed to like it too. So Sis filled in and sent off application. We are going to talk to Dad about power of attorney so we can take care of the flat, contents and car for him. He has mentioned the last 3 visits that paper work and bill paying is getting very difficult for him. This was Mum's job before the dementia.

Our contracts and papers for our house purchase and this flat sale arrived yesterday. No we need an exchange date so we can plan the move. Please be soon. I don't think I can handle the banshee in downstairs flat shrieking and swaering at her small children much longer.

Though I am going to miss the money, I won't miss the mind numbing tedium, and utter lack of respect for my knowledge and skill in this job. The work has changed substantially in the last year. They don't trust any of the admin to send out a simple email to a colleague without a manager first approving it. It is soul destroying. I only have 6 days at work left.

Whew!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Peter from seven stars link
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 01:38 PM

Nothing to add, except my thoughts and prayers.    Blessings.      Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 06:10 AM

VT...the fact that you have 'put pen to paper' & laid out your concerns in some detail has therapeutic, problem-solving value. Don't underestimate the power of your subconscious. The answers/advice you seek almost certainly lie within your good self. Re-read what you posted first thing in the morning...set it aside & get on with your day. DO NOT re-read immediately before going to bed & do not re-read every day. A couple of times will be more than enough. The subconscious never sleeps & given time (different for each of us), new pathways will present themselves.
          I offer the above in the spirit of friendship, based on my life experiences of Psychotherapy, both as practitioner & patient. I retired from all clinical work twelve years ago, something which should be borne in mind when reading my comments. Like Gnu, I can't do much more than "...point out where the egg rolls are."
          I wish you well as you work your way through a complex, worrying set of circumstances,
                      With Love,
                                       Nigel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 15 - 08:34 PM

Have a seat here on the rear deck, gnu, sheltered from the wind for a bit, and in a seat made just for you, with all the correct angles and supports. Clamps to the deck when the seas roll some but not too much, and the clamps release so we can move it down near to the warmth of the galley stove as the need arises. Tea or a dram? Your pleasure. {{{hugs}}}.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 25 Aug 15 - 08:07 PM

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I lied." "Why did you lie, my son?" "I was asked a question and, if I told the truth, it would have curtailed me helping the person that asked me the question." "So, you lied to help this person?" "Yes, Father." "Fuckin great job, my son!"

At least, that's how I would imagine it should go.

I used to post about trying to do three good deeds a day. For over a week, I have had a hard time just standing up so the 3-a-day stuff is toast fer now. I can walk at times but I have to walk... I cannot walk slowly and that's how Mum walks, at a crawl, and with frequent stops. It's excruciating pain. Today, while walking Mum around Sobeys, an obviously "distressed" woman was babbling about egg rolls. I asked if I could help. GODSEND! I asked Mum if it was okay for me to leave her and show the woman where the egg rolls were and she agreed. That meant that I could actually walk at a reasonable pace, although hobbling, AND do a good deed. Made my day.

Often, I feel the same way when I visit this thread. I wish I could offer some kind of help, some wisdom, but all I can do is point out where the egg rolls are. BTW... frozen egg rolls are crap. >;-)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 25 Aug 15 - 07:52 PM

Refresh the waves ... rise again Rainbow.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Aug 15 - 08:29 PM

one bit of advice if someone hasn't already suggested it to you father in law - toddler locks on balcony doors.

google search toddler locks windows doors uk or maybe even security locks

maybe a dementia support organisation can offer further practical advice, again if they haven't been consulted.

sandra (12,000 miles away)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 23 Aug 15 - 07:54 PM

VT... no words here. Just thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 23 Aug 15 - 07:13 PM

No advice to offer from the oar station from where I sit, VT, but lots of love and good thoughts as your family finds its way through uncharted waters.

And thanks for the good thoughts, all. Did not expect to lose my sea legs. They are slowing returning, thanks to this stalwart crew.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 23 Aug 15 - 06:54 PM

VTam, welcome back. I wish I had information to help you, but I don't. It sounds like you have a lot to sort out. I'm sending prayers for you and your family because that's all I can do.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 23 Aug 15 - 01:52 PM

Hello shipmates. Sorry I've been on such a long shore leave. Much much much going on on both sides of the pond regards elderly parents. I think we almost have my 88 year old Mamma sorted out. Going to help my younger brother in Indiana pay for stairlift so she can live at his part of the year and then wth other family in Florida during the colder months.

Things got very bad. She had several falls, needed heavy pain killers including injections. Squatters living in her house stealing her pain meds and food. They are gone thankfully. Took calling the police several times and putting in notice to quit. Her house is crumbling and mortgage is more than value of house. We are hoping to help her sell up and refinance remainder of loan so she is not paying stupidly high interest.

Parents in law in Strat u Avon another problem. Dad (98) is finding it near impossible to cope with Mum (88) who's dementia is getting quite bad. He is finally considering assited living. We are moving to Shropshire end of September which puts us much nearer. But we have no idea what kind of placement and care they want/need. Dad does not want to be separated from Mum. So many places won't let a couple stay together if one has dementia. They have good pension, savings and fully paid off nice flat in theatre area of Strat U Avon. So money is not really that much of an issue. We just want to keep them together as long as possible.

Should they buy a retirement 2 bed bungalow and hire in full time carer/ domestic? Shoudl we be looking at a place with activities Dad seems only to want to sleep though it may be sheer exhaustion from keeping a 5 foot toddler in hand.   Mum has started to wander, constantly tidies things away so they can't be found. Starts to make tea and then puts mugs with milk away in the cupboard. Often doesn't recognise Arthur as her long time husband but only as someone who now lives where she currently is. once when we were visiting she was determioned to go out of door onto balcony in order to get to her house she was certain was behind the trees across the street. I am terrified she will fall from one of the balconies. They are in a first floor flat.

Any advice gratefully considered.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 21 Aug 15 - 11:46 AM

Carter never invaded... not one shot fired in oppression on his watch. He will be missed.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 21 Aug 15 - 06:12 AM

Hugs & comforting thoughts coming all the way from London. Every tear you shed is a distillation of the love you felt for your belovéd Father.
                                                    Much Love,
                                                                     Nigel & Ann
                                                                     xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 07:17 PM

hugs on their way to Janie

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 07:00 PM

Hugs from me, too, Janie. And prayers for Jimmy C.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 03:01 PM

Ah, Janie...it hit me hard too. Streaming hugs and support your way.