Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 31 Jan 12 - 08:02 AM

"You'll never find the bodies, I buried them under calcium oxide", said Tom subliminally.

"It's no secret,I just soak citrus rind in a sugar solution", said Tom candidly.

"Your trouble is you've haven't got the balls", said Tom roundly.

"I'll teach you Katherine", said Tom educatingly.

"E. F. Schumacher", said Tom economically.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 31 Jan 12 - 01:51 AM

"Hail Mary", she began gracefully.
"I've treated myself to a penis extension", he said, a little decayed.
"And the cat sits on the other one", he said dogmatically.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 31 Jan 12 - 01:12 AM

"Great Irish dancing," said Michael Flatley.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Genie
Date: 30 Jan 12 - 10:49 PM

"My singing is sometimes a little pitchy," she said flatly.


"My chest has sunk a bit over the years," the old woman said flatly.

"I just picked up a nail in my left rear tire," he said flatly.

"All the foam has done out of my beer," the pub patron complained flatly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 30 Jan 12 - 08:31 AM

Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war? I'm unsure, he said uncertainly

I wish I wasn't short sighted, he said longingly

All things bright and beautiful, the divine designer made them all, he said creatively

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 30 Jan 12 - 06:50 AM

"Facteur de distorsion huit",he said picardy.

"Alex Comfort says we should do it like this", he said incorrectly.

"You can't get pregnant the first time", he said inconceivably.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 03:30 PM

"That damn Yankee general should be skinned alive", growled the old rebel, flagrantly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 01:16 PM

"Take off your clothes and lie next to the till", he counterposed.
"I've got a new hymn for the book, Sankey", he said moodily.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 10:14 AM

dial/laid, palindromes too eh?

I made edam, he said cheesily

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 08:25 AM

"Ah hain't a-gwine to pick no mo' cotton today, massa", he said balefully.
"It looks like a tsunami travelling up the River Trent!" he cried eagerly.
"Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter. Edward, I want to talk about Peter," she said repeatedly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 07:05 AM

We're open to Offers. Otherwise we'd have to do it ourselves.

"Tie up the chickens, but keep them apart!" he said enticingly.
"You don't look well", she said luckily.
"My father is a cross- dresser", he said transparently.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 06:50 AM

Let us ask ourselves: are we all using the Cat here to Max effect?

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 29 Jan 12 - 05:36 AM

Excellent Jim.

"I've just sat on a biting insect!" she cried, assonant.
"She's been a long time", he said in a wily manner.
"Tie the rope to that cleat, Edward", she said belatedly.
"Dial!" said Tom, laid back.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jan 12 - 03:15 PM

"The wind has died down," said Tom disgustedly.

"That's the last we'll see of Dr. Frankenstein's creature," said Tom demonstratively.

"Th—th—th—that's all, folks!" said Tom animatedly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 28 Jan 12 - 09:35 AM

"Meet the writer na Gopaleen," he smiles.
"But that's a pointer to a float, not an integer!" she cried in terror.
"The Germans attack at the same time every day", said the sergeant, quite unreliable.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 Jan 12 - 07:40 AM

I think you're really common, he said ubiquitously

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Jan 12 - 12:09 PM

This winter I'm wearing combinations, said Long John, I have a vested interest!

Nelson put the telescope to his eye. I see no ships, he said fleetingly

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Jan 12 - 07:08 AM

My sibling's got anorexia, he ain't heavy, he's my brother, said Tom lightly

Lottie's been assaulted! said Lot without a backward glance.
Sodom all, that's the long & short of it, he said in measured tones

You are Dr. Livingstone, announced Stanley presumptuously

My blood group is A Rh+ , he said positively

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 02:53 PM

"Fack the lot of yer", he said, factually.
"Who put my Morris bells in the chicken dopiaza?" he demanded, encouragingly.
"At last, I've got that floater to go down!" he cried, flushed with success.
"I've been recruited by the KGB", he said, inspiringly.
"I'm definitely against David Cameron", she said notoriously.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 02:21 PM

'I've just dropped my false teeth overboard' he exclaimed, incidentally.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 11:59 AM

Someone's used all the jam, he said jarringly

O, beg pardon, there's another on the shelf, I take that back, he extolled

You've no sense of humour, he chortled unwittingly

I think that tree's dying, he said witheringly

That Irish lantern's brilliant! Yes, so bright he replied, even with the wick low

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 09:44 AM

Someone's used all the jam, he said jarringly


Oh my god, who turned out the lights? asked Paul of Tarsus shortsightedly

Isn't it blindingly obvious? Sayeth the lord

I insist the earth is not a globe! He vented flatulently

My wife's a pillar of the community, the salt of the earth, said Lot bitterly, without a backward glance

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 03:46 AM

firm but fair.

Pfwaaahhh!!!, I'm getting palpitations!

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 25 Jan 12 - 01:58 PM

"The enemy didn't just shoot at us, they said naughty words too!", said Tom, focused.

"Quick, Matilda, run away!" he shouted flightily.

"Cut the cackle Archbishop, and just eat your dinner", he said gracelessly.

"I was stupid to wear only shorts and a vest in this weather", he said moronically.

"My new girlfiend is blonde, with lovely tight buttocks", he said, firm but fair.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 25 Jan 12 - 12:57 PM

"Right lad, time to set the Christmas pudding on fire", Tom said flamboyantly.

"Time for my annual listen to 'Pretzel Logic'", said Dan steely.

"I'm gooin' om" said the Yorkshireman meditatively.

"Let's make love on the church tower", said Tom inspiringly.

"My flatfish is dead", said Tom inconsolably.

"I can't say that;it's rude but I'll write it down", said Tom cursively.

Naomi sent the two Moabite women home. "I will go alone" said Orpah ruthlessly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Jan 12 - 11:11 AM

The men plant crops once a year, he said, manually

Feel this, it's felt, he said touchingly

Another unsolved problem, he moaned inconclusively

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Jan 12 - 08:14 AM

I can't get these figures to add up, he said nonplussed

At the auction, I didn't raise my hand in time, said Tom morbidly

Did you manage to get dressed & catch the end of the fight?
No, I only got as far as my boxer shorts

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 25 Jan 12 - 02:01 AM

"At least the boat's level now", said Tom listlessly. "It can't possibly turn turtle anyway", replied Mary self- righteously.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 02:22 PM

"Thank you, Mr Happy, for posting an explanation ", said Tom wickedly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 11:29 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 11:22 AM

"It's a cold wind", said Tom northerly.

"Fisher, German Bight, Humber, a thousand and ten", said Tom rising slowly.

"It's so cold I shall wear fingerless gloves", said Daisy intermittently.

"I've drunk too much French Chardonnay" said the tramp shabbily.

"Oh! Goody, Champers!"Said Trixie bubbly.

"Those igneous rocks don't belong here", said Jim erratically.

"Actually they're not igneous, they're metamorphic" Tom said nicely.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 11:18 AM

Did I see Nelly on the telly?

No that was Millie on air on 'Who wants to be a millionaire'

Holmes, I think I've got indigestion.

Alimentary, my dear Watson, said Holmes smugly

James isn't good at horseriding. I agree, there's lots Jim canna do

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 09:43 AM

You shouldn't take everything literally, he said matter of factly

It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, he said brazenly

A unicorn? Fabulous!

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 08:29 AM

All in all, it's just another brick in the wall, he suggested constructively


Those queues in Aldi can be grim, said Grimaldi, the staff are like a bunch of clowns!


The letter twixt a & c has stopped working on my PC,
'ellowed the policeman three times

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 05:21 AM

"I am the God of Hell Fire and I bring you hell Fire!" Said Arthur inaccurately.

"I am the spirit of your first wife", said Elvira blithely.

"Russia is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery",said Winston enigmatically.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Michael
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 04:48 PM

"I'm thinking of buying another pair of Adidas trainers". "Why not try a different brand?" said Tom conversely.

"I would never consider going out with a manual worker",said Daphne callously.

"We're going to run out of food and then we'll all die!" Said Tom irrationally.

"Let's all sleep under canvas" said Tom camply.

"But it's going to rain, we'll all get wet", replied Chris portentously.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 01:51 PM

"I'm mending shoes", he said at last.

"My mouth's burning!" she cried bitchily.

"This skeleton was probably a soldier in King Harold's army", the archaeologist inferred.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 12:18 PM

"Guilty," said the jury foreman with conviction.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 07:48 AM

Ah, I mist a bit out:

Probably Einstein, relatively speaking

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 07:24 AM

I can't find the glue, Millie, he said gloomily

Others always finish my sentence..,he tailed off inadequately

Does anyone know the square root of 2? he asked irrationally

Probably Einstein.

During the growing season he'd always make sure he'd planted his allium by the end of Oct, as it would certainly be unimaginable that he didn't know his octonions, he answered eruditely

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 09:55 AM

I think I ate too many cakes, he said sconefully

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 09:45 AM

"Swordish", he said, mincing his words.

"We've got the Germans on the rack, Foch", said General Haig, unintentionally.

"If the enemy go anywhere in that bay, they'll be blown to bits", said the captain, mindfully.

"Now I've seen it, I know what Scotsmen wear under the kilt", she said precariously.

"Concerning a Code for Transmitting Messages by Electric Telegraph", he wrote with remorse.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 07:44 AM

My bedside lamp's stopped working he said disconnectedly

I'm the wild rover he said furiously

I've been refused as an organ donor he said disheartedly

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 06:51 AM

At Waterloo, what boots did the Iron Duke wear & was he in good health?

I believe he was very well, 'e quipped!

He was also good at cards, unlike Bonaparte, who in his chain of command often desired a flush & often said so whistfully

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:49 AM

"2-0 away from home is a good win!" he said none too happily.
"Get another fire extinguisher quick!" screamed Tom, not at all put out.
"I just can't get these figures to add up", he said in total confusion.
"It's an old Diesel bus", he said crossly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:37 AM

I'm not guilty of affray your honour, he said innocently, it was just a plain tiff!

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:21 AM

He said laughingly!

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:21 AM

Tee-hee!!

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: GUEST,Paul Burke
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:18 AM

"We spent the holidays walking in the Cairns", he said gormlessly.

Subject: RE: Ever play 'Tom Swifty'?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 05:05 AM

My aunt's had a concretion removed, he said gallantly

We saw a policeman urinating in the woods.

Was he in a coppice? he asked nobly

The extractor's blocked with animal hair, he said fervently

We've been to the zoo, he said cagily