BS: Weird involuntary swearing

Subject: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 02:31 PM

My wife lost her temper with something or other the other day, and I heard her mutter, "Oh - fucky foo foo!"

Weird, or what - but quite catchy. I've even heard myself say it here and there.

Any other weird, involuntary curses emanating from 'Catters at moments of trial and tribulation?

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Becca72
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 02:56 PM

My friends and I gave Cass's father the "most creative" award for using the F word in every form:

"Fuck you, you fucking fuck!"

Used when you really want to make your displeasure known. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: olddude
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:00 PM

Talk to Spaw, he is an expert :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:11 PM

Absofuckinglutely!

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:24 PM

terrets???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bainbo
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:29 PM

Roy Bailey claims to have been initiated into the intricacies of the vernacular of North East England when he overheard a conversation in which someone helpfully explained: "I fuckin' fucked the fuckin' fucker."

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:31 PM

I find I curse when my blood sugar gets low...disinhibition I presume.

And in Newfoundland a friend was talking about her mother and aunt going to a risque sort of play and they said .."f..in Lord Jesus did you hear the language in it?"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: gnu
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 03:38 PM

I live alone. I often absently minded use swearing but it's of no consequence. However, it becomes a habit and I have actually used profanity in public and then turned redfaced and apologized profusely. It is rather embarrassing for such a gentleman as I.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 04:33 PM

Little Johnny what happened to your cousin said sister Mary Margaret
Well said Johhny, he fell off the roof and landed right on his ass

No No Johnny it is rectum said the sister

Reck him, hell no, fucking near killed him said Johnny

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 04:51 PM

We were dangerously cut off by a BMW driver and I shouted out Blasted Master of Wank! I have used it ever since and not only against BMW drivers.

Sock cucka doodle has escaped once or twice. The first time was unintentional. I do have a problem with switching first letters.



This is fuckin hilarious .

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,DaveA
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:00 PM

Back in the 60's, I was involved in moving the computer centre at Melbourne Uni from one side of the campus to the other. In those days, the moving contractor would get his workers from the local Labour Exchange for about $5 per day & they tended to be pretty rough diamonds.
On this particular summers days the female students were all out in force in short shorts & tight tops etc & were causing quite a distraction to the movers. Finally, one of them stopped, pointed to a particularly gorgeous young thing and said:
"Get a look at the arse on that one. I'd bang that till I had a heart attack"
And his boss, in all seriousness shouted at him:
"Watch your fucking mouth!! She can fucking hear you!!"

I laughed so much I lost track of the cases I was supervising & I've never forgotten it to this day.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:22 PM

Australia? *grin*

Ban all them naughty words, I say! How are we gonna keep the intrinsic panasche and force of good cuss words if everyone and their 2nd cousin Charlie are using them in every 2rd utterance! Next thing, Dan Rather will be reporting on "another fucking car-bomb in Iraq"!

Do you not understand the value and power of occasional use of the forbidden? Otherwise we end up with this example of an Aussie bloke showing the descent into totally useless blather, like a Valley Girl using words like, ummm.... 'like'...

"Oh, I 'ad a fine time last Saturday..it was a fuckin' beautiful day, so I got in my fuckin' car and went for a nice fuckin' drive...till I came to this fuckin' park, and decided to get out and take a fuckin' walk. Well, I walked about a fuckin' mile and here was this fuckin' lovely lass walkin' just ahead of me..I gave her a fuckin' cheery greetin' and we hit it off right away. So we walked on down the fuckin' lane till various things in our fuckin' conversation made me quite fuckin' aware that we were fuckin' interested in the same fuckin' thing....so I looked at her...she looked at me...and we fuckin' smiled and went over a fuckin' fence and behind a fuckin' tree where no one could fuckin' see us......and 'ad sexual intercourse!"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:22 PM

At moments of stress I tend to exclaim either "Fuck-holes!" or "Cunt-holes!"

I'm not sure where I got them from. Are they standard expletives? ~~ tho I don't think I've heard either anywhere else. Or did I invent them?

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:29 PM

I think Bobert was referring to Tourette syndrome.

My wife is music teacher in a Catholic elementary-school, and she says she never swears at work, though she swears like a sailor at other times & places.

I marvel at this, since she doesn't have a lot of impulse control in other respects.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:31 PM

Not exactly 'standard' as expletives, but probably 'invented' many times in various situations.

Comes under the heading of Coprolalia

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:41 PM

... or, sometimes, "Cunt-hooks!"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bainbo
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 05:55 PM

Thread drift here, but there's been reference to Tourette Syndrome. It's often misrepresented as causing sufferers to shout out swear words. But what's fascinating is that it doesn't have to be obscenities - vocal tics could comprise any irrelevant words constantly interrupting their speech.

This is a really interesting interview with a woman who says "biscuits" every few words, with an occasional "happy birthday" thrown in. Because she carries on talking as if nothing unusual is happening, eventually you, as a listener, come to accept it yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Hawker
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 06:10 PM

My grandmother, when tested to the limit would exclim.....'God damn bugger hell pig shit Amen!'
Its a great stress reliever!
Cheers, Lucy

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Anne Lister
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 06:17 PM

I'm not sure it's involuntary or weird, but I come from a household where no one swore, all through my childhood and adolescence. And then in my first week at university I met someone who is still one of my best friends, from a VERY well spoken, very typical English village background (father an author, lived in thatched cottage in a village in Sussex), and I was amazed (and, I have to say, influenced) by the way she would walk in a small circle in her room when annoyed and mutter "Piss, shit, knickers, fuck" repeatedly until she'd got it out of her system.
More recently my husband and I have adopted Malcolm Tucker from "The Thick of It" on television and his "Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off" approach to life.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 06:23 PM

I have a brother with Tourette's syndrome. He had/has no verbal tics, but does have physical ones, as well as noises he makes. His main noise these days is whistling, which sounds very similar to the whistles of the family's pet parakeets. The parakeets all adore him (not that surprising, I guess...)!

I, too, thought from the title of the thread that it would be about Tourette's or Coprolalia,)

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 06:26 PM

When I was a kid, a few of us we used to go to the country store, about a mile away from home for candy. There was a couple of old guys, who used to sit alone at the store for hours, not talk to each other, or anyone else, and drink a bottle of Coke or two. One guy would curse out loud to himself,as if he was carrying out some type of conversation with someone. The other fellow, I believe had a form of Tourette syndrome, every once and awhile he would stand up and yell out ""yip yip yip, fuck 'em all, yip yip"" and then peacewfully sit down. It was quite an amusing site for us youngsters.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 06:42 PM

Mark Twain is said to have been a truly creative artist when it came to long, imaginative streams of colorful profanity, and there were those who greatly admired his artistry.

But his wife, Livy, was not one of them. He tried to keep watch on his tongue when she was close by; but one day something really got up his nose, and, thinking she could not hear, he launched into a torrent of red-hot profanity. When he entered his wife's room a short time later, she coolly repeated word-for-word everything he had said.

    "Livy," he replied, astounded yet amused, "did it sound like that?"

    "Of course it did," she said, "only worse. I wanted you to hear just how it sounded."

    "Livy, it would pain me to think that when I swear it sounds like that. You got the words right, Livy, but you just don't have the tune."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Skivee
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 07:18 PM

As a pyrate I've been suffering from a condition that forces me to yell out various calibers and designs of heavy artillery; I've got Gun Tourette syndrome.
A roommate once heard a woman say,"Oh shit! I almost stepped in that dog crap."

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Midchuck
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 07:44 PM

At moments of stress I tend to exclaim either "Fuck-holes!" or "Cunt-holes!"

I'm not sure where I got them from. Are they standard expletives? ~~ tho I don't think I've heard either anywhere else. Or did I invent them?

The disgusting cab driver, McBride
Took a helpless young girl for a ride.
He fucked up her muck-hole,
Mucked up her fuck-hole,
And charged her three dollars, besides.

That's been around for many years.

P

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 08:04 PM

I tend to Spoonerize -- deliberately. This world is, for example, full of cog soggers and sock cutters.

But I attempt the more creative, true curses:

"May your tires rot along with your privy parts!"
"I hope you get a case of clap for every hair that falls out of your head!"
"May your children grow up to be disappointments to you!"
"May the grass grow tall upon your grave, and soon!"

People riding with me seem surprised and somewhat amused by this sort of thing, heart-felt as it is.

Of course, to do it right you should fast in front of the subject's doorstep until an apology is forthcoming or until you die, whichever comes first.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: gnu
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 08:17 PM

Apparently, I am not so bad with the involutary stuff. As for when it's intentional, not so good. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 08:24 PM

Many of these more "creative" curses just sort of pop out when needed.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 09:13 PM

My neighbors favorite line "Pound sand up your ass" every time he gets mad at his truck

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 09:35 PM

I guess that what I like about this joint... In my real life I don't cuss... Like never... Okay, I said "shit" about 10 years ago... But I'd like to think that I said it voluntarily... But maybe I didn't...

I think that most folks swear completely voluntarily...

Now I knew this woman who said she had "terrets" but I doubted it, as I doubted much of everything she said...

I donno...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Leadfingers
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 09:51 PM

With apologies to the Early Motoring enthusiast , Gordon Bennet is a very useful all purpose expletive when in mixed (Or Family) company

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 01:08 AM

Rap above reminds me of the friends of my parents whose curse was "I hope your wife eats biscuits in bed!"

Thanks, Mid, for former use of "fuck-hole". But does anyone else exclaim it in plural as a curse ~~ "Oh, fuck-holes!"

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: ragdall
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 02:50 AM

Nothing weird here, just the standard list.

Recently when something breakable slipped from my hand, without thinking, I uttered a naughty word then remembered that a grandchild of tender years was standing beside me. My son who heard my cursing looked at his child and said, "Grandma used to be in the Merchant Marine". Now the little darlin' keeps asking for details of my years on the ships.

rags

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 03:47 AM

You say 'standard list', Rags. But nobody else has claimed to know, or to use, "cunt-hooks" ~ which I still believe my own coinage. I don't even know what a "cunt-hook" is, if anything. How does one hook a cunt?; or, alternatively, what sort of hook does a cunt contain? Any connection to that 'vagina dentata' so beloved of Gershon Legman in his scholarly treatises on the dirty joke?

But, without going too deeply into what it means, I just find it a satisfyingly expressive expression of momentary discontent when I have a minor accident like dropping something &c.

Has anyone else come across that one, or is it indeed my own once-invented nonceword?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 03:52 AM

Oops! Sorry! "... expressive expression"! How could I possibly have perpetrated such a tautological solecism?

Oh cunt-hooks!

〠☺〠~M~〠☺〠

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 01:36 PM

Because you are subject to the terrible curse of humanity, that's why. I have my own little one-word sudden exclamations, like "Clams!" and "Poo-poo!" and "Ratzinger!" and "Nixon!" and if I'm really put out, "Reagan!"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 01:58 PM

"Trickle down!"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 03:30 PM

Rap reminded me of this classic swearing

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 04:43 PM

Does anybody still say 'ucking in London? I remember we used to get a great laugh hearing half-posh or religiousy types who rarely swore losing their tempers and not being able to cone out with the full word "fucking". They would say something like "you 'ucking idiot".

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,mayomick
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 04:44 PM

sorry the last post was from me . The 'ucking cookie must have disappeared

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 05:34 PM

While teaching I sometimes got pushed to the edge patience-wise. If the twenty-fifth pupil came out to my desk with the same mistakes in their maths, I'd sigh and mutter under my breath "Ho hum, pig's bum!" But of course the little dears often heard me. When the line of new pupils at the beginning of term stood at my door, one lad looked up at me fearlessly and grinned "My sister says you swear. You say Bum!" My face was awfully red.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 09 Feb 12 - 07:42 AM

My cousin used to use 'ucking' he went to a posh school so that was alright. I don't usually swear unless really pushed to the absolute limit or stub a toe or something. There is definitely something theraputic about uttering an expletive when in agonising pain. Mums in labour know about that one!

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 12 - 03:05 PM

VirginiaTam... one of my fav movies of all time. A true classic.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: foggers
Date: 09 Feb 12 - 03:58 PM

My standard expletive is usually some kind of variation on "Fuckety fuck arse bollocks fuck". It has a satisfying rhythm.

And my other favourite deployment of the ever useful F word is to describe those mistakes in life that arise from a convergence of several folks' errors, miscommunications that then result in damage on an huge scale; the cluster-fuck.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 10 Feb 12 - 10:28 PM

"Cluster-fuck"

Nice one! I'll have to remember that one... extremely useful.

A little bit of thread drift, but "Fuckety fuck arse bollocks fuck" brought this YouTube clip to mind: "Cheap Flights" by Fascinating Aida
(no swearing until 1 min 30 seconds in, but well worth watching from the start).

"Fecking" brilliant!

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 11 Feb 12 - 06:23 AM

A trainee priest was taking a walk around the grounds of the seminary, and as he climbed a stile he fell into the mud.
"Oh, shit - fuck, I said shit - shit, I said fuck - bollocks, I didn't want to be a priest anyway".
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 Feb 12 - 07:31 AM

Captain Dan Galloway, author of a number of tales about life in the U.S. Navy, described an event at a meal attended by a large number of the "brass" ("officers" to the lubbers out there). As I recall the tale, a local bishop was invited to offer the opening prayer. As it happened, the soup course had already been served to those seated on the dais. As the bishop rose to deliver the prayer, the steaming bowl of soup that had somehow been placed upon his tie, was dumped into his lap. He quickly implored, "Will some salt-water sailor out there please say something appropriate?"

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Feb 12 - 05:32 PM

I once screamed FINK FINK FINK when I was too young to say F*CK. (Mean kids bullying. I was easier to bully then than I am even now.)

I miss you Rick Fielding!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: JennieG
Date: 11 Feb 12 - 09:42 PM

Here's a little ditty I heard sung at a session about 15 years ago:

Shit bugger bum bitch piss poop fart -
Somebody stole my horse and cart,
But I don't give a bugger, I can always find another,
Shit bugger bum bitch piss poop fart.

Shit bugger bum bitch elephant dick -
Somebody stole my walking stick,
But I don't give a bugger, I can always find another,
Shit bugger bum bitch elephant dick.

Shit bugger bum bitch pubic hair -
Somebody stole my maiden fair,
But I don't give a bugger, I can always find her mother.....
Shit bugger bum bitch pubic hair.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: JennieG
Date: 11 Feb 12 - 10:29 PM

Woops sorry, I have mis-remembered the third line in the last verse - it should be:

But I don't give a bugger 'cos I always liked her mother

My apologies!

Cheers again
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Weird involuntary swearing
From: foggers
Date: 12 Feb 12 - 12:08 PM

Yorks Yankee; you're welcome to use the c-f expression as often as necessary.

Have been a huge fan of Fascinating Aida ever since they formed in 80s. And it is not thread-drift at all; their name in entirely based on the expression Sweet F A! Saw them in Sheffield last autumn and it was blisteringly funny. Their opening number was all about the banking crisis; Capitalists Utilising Nifty Tax Schemes!