BS: Is chongo Dead?

Subject: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 16 Feb 12 - 11:53 PM

Word on the street is he was killed during a bar fight last night after pounding down 12 Banana Daiquiri's. Also something to do with getting caught with some lady named Winona that he was involved with
Anyway that's the story ... ?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Feb 12 - 11:56 PM

I have heard some real stupid rumors in my time, but this one takes the cake. You been knockin' back a few too many tonight, olddude?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 12:09 AM

You could be poser, the real Chongo is dead from the word on the street. How do we know this is the real Chongo .. do you got any tatoo's

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: number 6
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 12:19 AM

Chongo was found dead in a room above the Queen's Hotel in Barrie, Ontario .... the autopsy showed he died from alcohol poisoning.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: number 6
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 12:24 AM

The initial reaction to the staff that admitted the body at the hospital thought the deceased was a 90 year old proboscis monkey. They were shocked to hear he was actually a 40 yr something old chimp.

Too much drink will do that to ya.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ernest
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 01:34 AM

alcohol poisoning?

So who gave him poisoned alcohol?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 01:52 AM

Word is it was his sister, who'd had it made up special for him when she heard he was going to be blowing through town. Chinga has a long memory.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 08:45 AM

LOL!

You people will never kill off Chongo Chimp. He's like Sherlock Holmes or Robin Hood, he can never die. If dead, he will rise again. I suspect that he will even outlive me, his creator, just as Sherlock Holmes has outlived Conan Doyle.

Amos - Chinga has a long nose too! Think about it. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 09:12 AM

Chongo's reported death is an elaborate sham. The was no alcohol in the banana daiquiris. Chongo only pretended to die. The EMTs who responded to the emergency call and pronounced him dead on the scene were in on the charade. Half-way to the morgue, they pulled into a dark alley where Chongo got into a waiting car and the body of a poor chimp who'd died in an eyeliner experiment gone bad was loaded into the ambulance.

Chongo's current whereabouts are unknown.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 09:16 AM

I wonder if this was a ploy to raise Chongo's profile in the news media and get sympathy votes in the upcoming presidential election?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 09:40 AM

I wonder if this was a ploy to raise Chongo's profile in the news media and get sympathy votes in the upcoming presidential election?

It worked for Mel Carnahan in the Missouri US Senate election of 2000. He beat John Aschroft, even though he (Carnahan) had been dead for two weeks.

However, the political advantage of being dead wears off pretty quickly. The election is still over eight months away and a dead Chongo is gonna be pretty much forgotten by then.

Maybe it's a way for Chongo to gracefully exit a political contest in which his poll numbers are in negative territory? Perhaps he's come to realize that the only votes he's going to get are those inadvertently cast by people confused by the similar appearances of Chongo's and Obama's ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:09 AM

He's dead, and his tissues showed alcohol poisoning. What wasn't mentioned because it's still under investigation are the 487 bullet holes in his body, the 93 stab wounds, the noose around his neck, and the plastic bag tied tightly around his head. The RCMP originally listed the death as "accidental" but are now saying it was "self-inflicted." "Boy oh boy," said Constable Wrightly, a source who wishes to remain anonymous, "it almost looks as if he had help committing suicide!"

The death was confirmed by a DNA comparison with his sister, Chinga, and various pieces of old blood-stained clothing found in his "office." There is no doubt that Chongo Chump committed suicide, probably because of his deep remorse about the way he treated his mother and sister.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:15 AM

Hmmmmm...So Chinga has the same DNA, does she? Hmmmm....

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: John P
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:20 AM

Little Hawk can deny it all he wants, but if you listen to his last recording backwards, you can clearly hear him saying, "daed si ognohc". It sounds to me like LH knows more about this than he'd like people to know. Questions need to be asked!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:22 AM

I know more about a number of things than I'd like people to know...

;-D

And I'm not telling!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:28 AM

Chongo, mi padre,
Do you remember
That cold December
CHinga and tu madre
Begged you to stay?
What did you say?

You said "Chinga te, hermanita
Y tu tambien, mamacita!
I'm off to the lights of the city
Where gorilla girls are all pretty!"

Chongo, amigo
Tu es partido
Off to the wilds
of Chicago
Never a care for
The woman who bore you
The sister who loved you
Chinga amada!

You said "Chinga te, hermanita
Y tu tambien, mamacita!
I'm off to the lights of the city
Where gorilla girls are all pretty!"

Now pinche CHongo
Ape from the Congo
Cold on a slab in the morgue, eh?!
Riddled with lead
ANd a noose on your head
And stabbed by a gorilla named Jorge!
That's what you get, see,
Left for the tsetse,
ROtting away in the cooler
If you'd been kind
Not left them behind
You coulda been some kind of ruler.

But you said "Chinga te, hermanita
Y tu tambien, mamacita!
I'm off to the lights of the city
Where gorilla girls are all pretty!"

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:39 AM

He's not dead, he's just boring.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 10:59 AM

Speak for yerself, ya pasty-faced scumsucker. I've seen clams that were more entertainin' than you.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 11:50 AM

what about the lady involved in the fight that killed Chongo ? any word?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ernest
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 11:51 AM

He might as well be alive, he always smelled like that...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 12:12 PM

It seems he went on vacation and was a bit careless on a boat.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 01:42 PM

GREAT picture of Chongo, Bill. About time, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 01:47 PM

Yeah, but the shark threw up and Chongo was still with us. Until now.

The cops also found four kilograms of strychnine in the body of the late Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 12 - 07:52 PM

And it was dismembered. Heckuva suicide.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 12:45 AM

Just admit it. He scares you.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ernest
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 04:52 AM

How did the shark react on that poisoned alcohol?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: freda underhill
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 06:06 AM

Chongo can't be dead - I'm sure I saw him riding a wave at Bondi Beach today.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 08:12 AM

No he's not dead, it's just wishful thinking.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 11:56 AM

Suicide, it was. He even left a note reading, "I've done myself in. Nobody to blame but me. Yup, just me." The RCMP are certain he wrote it because it was typewritten over the blood splotches.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 12:10 PM

The RCMP have no jurisdiction in Chicago, Rap. You are flogging a horse that is not only dead, but that has no legs to stand on.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: number 6
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 12:49 PM

All this nonsense of Chongo living a life as some sort of private Dick in Chicago was a fraud .... a fantasy life created by Chongo himself ... in reality he lived in the house of some over the hill folk singer in Orillia, Ontario ... for years he banged away on an old manual Underwood typewriter producing manuscripts of complete nonsensical gibberish that no one (humans and monkeys alike) could understand ..... a little over a year ago Chongo moved out out that house in Orillia. Apparently he could not take listening to the constant drone those off key D and E chords coming out of that folksingers guitar and mouth harp. Chongo moved to Barrie Ontario, a small city just down the highway from Orillia. He moved into a seedy room above the Queens Hotel. He took to serious hard drinking. Patrons of the bar in the Queens Hotel remember Chongo sitting alone at the bar, telling everyone that he was going to move to Morocco and write a novel that would be the greatest story ever written in the 21st century.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 03:38 PM

The Queens Hotel???? In Barrie????? That place is a f*cking hole!

And whaddya mean "over the hill"? ;-) Why, I'm just starting to climb it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 03:59 PM

Yeah, some folks said it was a shame. Most didn't care much either way, except for a couple of score to whom he died owing money. In any case, it was suicide. The RCMP said so, and that's that.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 05:08 PM

Every time I see this thread title, I am given the illusion and disappointment of false hope which I know cannot exist.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 08:07 PM

Life is full of those kind of little disappointments. The best thing is not to dwell on them.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 09:32 PM

According to the Barrie Advance, there will be no funeral. What's left will be bagged and put out with the rest of the trash, just as Chongo would have wanted it. His sister, Chinga Chimp, is in charge of the arrangements and is the executor of what there is of the estate (which has been declared morally and financially bankrupt).

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 09:51 PM

You should go check out the MOABS, Sappo. I been spinnin' a little story about you and Amos there that has all the monkeys in town laughin' their tails off...and that means the ape population is going nowhere but UP.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 12 - 10:32 PM

Why bother? You're dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 07:57 PM

There is another rumor goin' around that I died. It ain't true. No more true than the last one was. And it is Rap that is spreadin' these rumors. Which figures. He is a sad case. If he was a case of whisky, it wouldn't even be worth drinkin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 07:58 PM

WTF?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 08:07 PM

PTDR: "pété de rire", in Nort' Bay.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: gnu
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 08:17 PM

"Hahahahaaa" is the old school round S'ouest ca. And, it's bilingamal.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 09:50 PM

Chongo is dead. Died in a spitball shootout when he inhaled the spitball instead of blowing. It's in all the Chicago papers and all over the TV: 'Dumb Chimp Inhales' and 'Chongo Chokes -- Doesn't Too Dumb To Blow'.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 10:31 PM

Rumor has it that his family donated his body to science fiction.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 10:56 PM

The truth is...and I am gonna break it to alla youse now...it is Rapparee who is really dead. Dead from the neck up, I mean. He's been that way fer years. Yeah, he still walks around, but there ain't nothin' happenin' upstairs, see? Zero goin' on between his ears. Only nobody is reportin' it nowhere, cos Rap is, I am sorry to say, a nobody himself. So it ain't "news". The media ain't interested, coz no else is interested. In my case, me bein' a celebrity and a presidential candidate with more smarts than Obama and more guts than Teddy Roosevelt and more sex appeal than Bill Clinton...the media is very interested. And that is why Rap keeps havin' these juvenile fantasies about me bein' dead. He's jealous!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 12:40 AM

You know yer dead chongo stop blaming rap dang monkey's

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:50 AM

Aw, Chimp chump chops, chaps...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:46 AM

From the Chicago Daily News (Southtown Edition, November 24, 2014, p. A3):

A body found in the Chicago Sanitary Canal was identified today as that of Chongo Chimp, according to a report released by Cook County Medical Examiner's office. The cause of death was reported to be a spitball which was sucked in instead of being forcibly exhaled through a drinking straw.

According to witnesses, Mr. Chimp had just started to engage in a spitball fight with the North Side when "he took a big breath and started to cough and stuff," Ms. Bang-Bang LaTush told investigating officers. Further testimony elicited that Mr. Chimp wandered off, coughing and running drinking straw in and out of his mouth "apparently trying to clear the obstruction out."

He was reported to be turning a bright cerulean.

Sometime later a splash was heard but no one cared enough to investigate.

The body, called by the autopsying pathologists "the most disgusting thing ever pulled out of that open sewer" was released to claimants from the Primate Party. Mr. Chimp will be interred again at a later date.

The deceased was well know as a perennial candidate for President of the United States.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 11:38 AM

Nice bit of creative writin', Rap. I am glad to see that yer fascination with me and my alleged demise is keepin' you busy, coz if you didn't have somethin' to keep you busy, you might get into some serious trouble, right? But makin' up stories about me keeps you off the street, and I know that yer whole community is glad of that. So keep it up. I figger it's free publicity anyways, and that can't hurt.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Gurney
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 03:02 PM

Nice to get input from LH. Missed him.


But I've got a new telesight now. lol.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 03:13 PM

Remember to exhale softly and pull the trigger very gently. A heavy or sudden trigger pull will throw yer aim right off every time. This was why John Wayne couldn't hit the broad side of a barn...but he was normally firin' blanks anyway. What I'm sayin' is, in a real gunfight he'd have been dead meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:27 PM

Only real gunfight ever shown was the one in Carry On Cowboy - most Boot Hill residents were shot in the back. Which shows a fine sense of rationality, if you've gotta do it, do it quick and spare the guy the knowledge his end is nigh by making certain his end is nighmost first. Never even heard the bang...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:32 PM

I saw a brown fur ball blow by today-it could have been his remains?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:56 PM

No such luck. The damnable creature showed up on Facebook the other day.

Gotta check my privacy settings.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:37 PM

Facebook is turnin' out to be a great way to spread the good news about me runnin' for president again in 2016. And this time I am gonna win. It's more fun than this place, coz you got a lotta pictures and stuff on Facebook.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:40 PM

""Facebook is turnin' out to be a great way to spread the good news about me runnin' for president again in 2016. ""

You were born/hatched in the US of A?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:42 PM

Who wants to see pictures of a dead chimpanzee?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 12:23 AM

Little Hawk: "You people will never kill off Chongo Chimp. He's like Sherlock Holmes or Robin Hood, he can never die. If dead, he will rise again. I suspect that he will even outlive me, his creator, just as Sherlock Holmes has outlived Conan Doyle."

You mean that stuffed chimp on the mantel isn't Chongo????

Damn!..I told those guys in Ferguson, to grab the right one, when they hit the pawn shop....told them to burn the evidence.....this whole thing was an elaborate diversion plan!!!

GfS

P.S. "Yo Ho"!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:38 AM

No, Ed, I was born in West Africa...but under the American flag, see? My saintly momma (bless her memory) delivered me on the grounds of a USA tradin' compound over which the Stars and Stripes was boldly flyin', thereby makin' me a citizen of the USA right from my first breath. You can find all this out by readin' the APP campaign literature. That's American Primate Party, the first party givin' full equality to apes, monkeys, humans, and lemurs. (We added in lemurs coz it would have been specist to exclude 'em.) Anyone who is a true progressive WILL vote APP. Only a specist would not, and you don't want people thinkin' you're a specist, coz that is about the worst thing you CAN be, see? It's like a racist, only even worse!!! Remember this when you vote in 2016.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:32 AM

Chongo, it's about damn time you showed up around here. Good to have you back.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:39 AM

Yes, Joe. But Chongo's still dead. Alas, poor Chongo! I knew him, Joe. He bored people silly a thousand times. A fellow of infinite ego! And see to what a mess of stinking, foul, repulsive pottage he has come! 'Twould gag a buzzard off a gut wagon when he was alive, and in his death 'twould cause the self-same bird to fall stunned and dying from the azure dome of heaven itself.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:18 PM

Last I heard, Chongo was sharing an apartment on Alpha Centauri II with Cheetah from the old Tarzan movies. Elvis is alive and well in the apartment next to theirs, and Jimmie Hoffa's body (complete with concrete galoshes) is buried in the cemetery across the street.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 01:57 AM

Hmmm...Let me get this straight.....Raparree, is talking to a dead chimp, explaining to the dead chimp, that he is dead.....and losing the argument......

OK-A_-A_-A_-Y......(?)

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 09:52 AM

Rap has been losin' these arguments fer years, Gfs, but he is so used to it that he don't even notice he's losin'. He even has arguments with himself in the mirror when he can't find no one else to argue with. And he loses those too! :D Ook! Ook!

Thanks for the welcome back, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 09:59 AM

OK, who's writing the hymn?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:07 AM

When you've been dumped on by Rapparee, you've been dissed by the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:28 AM

Chongo=bush meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:20 AM

Rap, we know that he smells like something dead, but you can't go by that alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:21 AM

♫Bongo, bongo,bongo
I don't wanta bury Chongo.
Oh no, no,no, no, no, no!

Bingle, bangle, bungle,
He'll decompose best in the the jungle,
Where the evidence don't show.♫

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:52 AM

Make it scan, Bill:

Bingle, bangle, bungle,
He'll rot best in the jungle
Where the bones won't show ...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 12:00 PM

Is chongo Dead?
A more appropriate question may be:
Did he ever really have a life?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 01:45 PM

Boy, is it a great day! And boy, am I one handsome ape! Yessir. So...what am I gonna do on this amazin' day? That is the question. It is a shame I can't just post a picture here like on Facebook to show allow youse my happy smile, but I guess I can still do this...

http://www.sciencephoto.com/image/385106/350wm/Z9120081-Grinning_chimpanzee-SPL.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 02:53 PM

Cool sideburns!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 04:52 PM

That's Chinga. You can tell by the winning smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 08:54 PM

Hey, I found a picture of YOU on the Net, Rap....

Rapparee with sign

Was you protestin' somethin' or just tryin' to enhance yer local profile?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 10:34 AM

That's no me -- I don't have, nor have I ever had, a coat like that.

Here's an interesting detail: at Chongo's funeral there was a 21-gun salute -- with live ammo, into the coffin.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 01:57 PM

It's a publicity stunt. They're just trying to get more people interested in Chongo. He'll dramatically "rise from the dead" out of the bullet-riddled coffin, come convention time. A marvelous bit of theatre! Let's see Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush match that.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:20 PM

There been a lotta rumors of my death over the years and they all been highly exaggerated. There even been some who wanted me dead!   Why? Well, I make 'em feel insecure, that's why. To these bozos I say, "Tough." I am stickin' around for quite awhile yet. I ain't dyin' till I'm good and ready, see? I got stuff to do first, like set this country right and restore honor and responsibility to the government, and achieve genuine special equality right across the board. (That's pronounced "speesh-al", not "spesh-al". It has to do with species.) When a Chimp or a Lemur or any kinda monkey gets the same respect that a human does in society, I'll know I have done my job, see?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:48 PM

Chongo, what ya bellyachin' about? We already elected a chimp president in 2000, and reelected him in 2008!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:54 PM

You mean chump

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 04:35 PM

Callin' George W. Bush a Chimp is a common way humans have of insultin' Chimps...and by extension, all apes. I heard it so many times by now that I hardly care anymore, which is a good thing for you, cos if I did still care that much, I'd have to find you and rip yer arms off.

But movin' on to other things, I am thinkin' we should start a thread entitled BS: Is Rapparee Alive?

And people could post the pros and cons, give their opinions about it.

I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, he must be sort of alive, cos he keeps spreadin' false rumors about me. This indicates some low level of corporeal awareness...a livin' presence of a very primitive sort.

But is he morally alive? I don't think so. I ain't seen no indication of it. Is he spiritually alive? Ha! At the level of a turnip maybe? Or a garden snail? Is he mentally alive? Well...possibly...only you could sorta say that he's just limpin' along on life support when it comes to his mental powers.

So I think he is over 95% dead if ya look at it from all important angles.

Anyways, I think it would make a good thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Janie
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 11:25 PM

The latest rumor is Chongo and Rap are brothers from different mothers.

Scary.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 09:30 AM

A case of sibling rivalry then? Well, I find the idea of a talking Chimpanzee rather revolting, but you never know...he might prove to be a better politician than at least some of his predecessors if he does get elected president of the United States.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 01:24 PM

Sibling ribaldry, actually....

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 05:15 PM

Is an LBGT Chongo a Chimp pansy?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Bongo Bimp
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 06:54 PM

Rapparee is a survivalist librarian, which is an oxymoron. And, given that it is Rapparee, that's an insult to both ox and morons.

But what do I care about the human species? I'm a Bonabo, dammit, a Bonobo!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 07:31 PM

Well, what brilliant strategy! Chongo is rumored to be a dead chimp...and wants to run for office.....Well he came to the 'right' place to campaign! What's 'left'?....Look at all the wannabe 'victims' he has to pander to!!....Mudcat liberals forever!..(besides, they can't tell their left hand from the right!).

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 10:30 PM

Well, calling me a "survivalist" insults the livin' crap out of me. I am only in the sense that I intend to survive in the same manner that I have been all these years -- I don't need nor do I want a little bunker in the big woods stockpiled with food for a couple of centuries, batteries for the same length of time, and enough guns and ammo to fight both World Wars I and II.

Now, Chongo (who used to be Chonga) is another story. Of course, Chongo/a is dead -- or at least brain dead, but no one has been able to tell which it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 10:31 PM

Oh, yeah -- Greeting, "Bad Penny" Rutledge. You still married to that jerkwad whatsisname? And how's your neice, Randy Ronni (a/k/a "Venereal Veronica")?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 01:44 AM

Chongo and I are very much alive in 2023, and are presently mourning the passing of our good friend, Gnu, each in our own way.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 04:27 PM

So many of the MOAB crowd have passed. Good to hear Chongo is around.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 02:59 AM

Regarding Penelope and Veronica, Penelope has changed little and is still engaging in various worthy projects such as campaigning against cruelty to horses, dogs, and other animals while rigorously keeping up her skills with the dueling sword. Veronica has been through 2 notoriously disastrous marriages, neither of which lasted very long, and three more auto accidents, and is battling with her ex-husbands over various properties while raising eyebrows in London, Paris, and New York with her riotous behavior and total lack of concern for same. She appears to have learned nothing from these experiences. As for Winston, he still holds court with his gentleman friends, a roguish lot of pompous wastrels who are no doubt tired of his self-promoting stories, but hopeful of his financial assistance in difficult times. He and Penelope seldom speak to one another and manage to live separate lives with little strain. Penelope rules Rutledge Mansion, while Winston rules the Vicar's Inn in Twillingsgate and his offices in London. Now and then he stops by the mansion to see if it is still there, but that's about it.

Oakley appears to have given up long ago on his romantic dreams of being Penelope's partner, and that's probably a good thing. He doesn't know how lucky he is that they never came to fruition! Anyway, he's not of the right class, so it was never worth considering, really.

Hector Ballsworthy, the British journalist who once wrote innumerable shocking tabloid articles about the secret occult connections Winston Wellington-JOnes had with "the Lizard people" and how they were planning to take over Penelope's pure Anglo-Saxon bloodline in order to control the UK and eventually all of the western world has embarked upon a popular podcast in which he investigates bizarre crimes, demonic gardening cults, and even more arcane tales such as the real story behind Batboy, a human-bat hybrid from the rural USA who once featured in several famous issues of the Weekly World News. He claims that Batboy is being held in an unnamed castle in Switzerland, and that it ties in with a plot to infiltrate all the cheese companies in Europe and introduce Bat genes into European populations. He has not been bothering the Rutledges lately, ever since the mysterious "poisoned arrows" and "dog pack" incident in Cornwall which almost proved fatal.

Other than that, things seem quite peaceful, almost like a quiet lull in what had been, for a time, a raging tempest.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 08:16 AM

Gnu is a sensitive observer of this planet who tells stories like a fully conscious eye surgery full of emotion and will digitally live forever in Mudcat archives.
Hearing from Little Hawk is like having a Steven Wright sighting after a 3-year hibernation.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 24 - 09:31 PM

Chongo has changed its name to Chongx to be hipper and more with it than s/he used to be. Moreover, Chongx has moved to Blind River and is living in a little love nest with Shame McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: gillymor
Date: 26 Jan 24 - 05:07 PM

He's not dead, he just smells like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: The Sandman
Date: 27 Jan 24 - 03:49 AM

I heard he died from eating a haggis whilst reading the poetry of William McGonagall

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: leeneia
Date: 02 Feb 24 - 03:11 PM

I'm happy to hear that the Blind River contingent is still with us. I had assumed they had joined the morning stars, unwept, unwashed, unmourned for.

Way to go, Chongx. Did you get your idea for the trendy new spelling from Elon Musk?