BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 12:02 PM

Oh, dear. Sometimes I wish all medical people would experience unalleviated severe pain. So many have no concept!

Praying for correct diagnosis, best treatment, and physical and emotional healing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Crowhugger
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 02:51 PM

Best thoughts to you and Hilary often.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 03:21 PM

I'd like to say something but I am just too upset at those nurses and it wouldn't help. Ts&Ps.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 07:21 PM

She had to wait 5 hours and ask 3 times in the last hour for pain meds that are supposed to be given every 3 hours. However, a nurse friend has told her there may be a very good reason why the nurses are trying to get her to hold on longer. The pain meds could exacerbate the liver problem which is likely the underlying cause of her pain.

Poor kid. Wish I was there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Jack Campin
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 07:46 PM

If the doctors have said "every three hours" the nurses have NO business trying to overrule them.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 08:16 PM

What Jack said

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 09:19 PM

Even IF they have good reason to "encourage" her to use as little painkiller as possible, there is NO reason to be unkind about it. AaMoF, it would prolly make it easier for her to hang on longer in between doses if they were kind, sympathetic and encouraging.

Being nasty is not going to help her morale, which is likely to make her feel the pain even more than she would otherwise. It's pretty clear these days that state of mind can have a LOT to do with how much/little one experiences pain. There is absolutely NO excuse for anyone (let alone a nurse, for heaven's sake!) to belittle and try to shame someone who is in pain! I feel outrage when I hear of such treatment of anyone in pain.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 09:42 PM

Thinking of her, thinking of you, sending every healing thought I have to you and your loved ones. Keep us posted - we're here for you. Bonnie xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 10:48 PM

I mentioned this thread to my hubbie, 'cos I was so appalled... He agrees it is absolutely disgraceful.

Being unusually well-informed on such things, he had some suggestions I thought worth mentioning here, such as:

What about other types of pain relief?

• There are drugs that are not so hard on the liver; is there some reason she can't be given one of those?

• There are also non-drug types of pain relief, like TENS, where causing sensation in/to another part of the body, like the spine, can help diminish the pain by distracting the brain with an alternative sensation (this has worked for me in the past when I had unusually bad menstrual cramps; my husband would stroke my spine and it helped a great deal).

• What about an epidural, or gas (nitrous oxide) and air?

He adds, "Don't US hospitals have a specialist pain nurse (or team), or is that something we only have here in the UK with our "backwards" socialised medicine?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Mar 12 - 10:58 PM

Lots of white light, healing thoughts and prayers from this quarter, Tam. Time for one, time for all. Is the universe just slightly out of kilter these days?

Hugs,
Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 03:35 PM

What I wrote in my last comment still goes!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 03:59 PM

thanks all... last FB post was 6 hours ago... "Nurse just came in and said bone marrow biopsy today." Nothing since then and mamma's worrying herself silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 19 Mar 12 - 04:25 PM

"Don't US hospitals have a specialist pain nurse (or team), or is that something we only have here in the UK with our "backwards" socialised medicine?"

Of course there are pain specialists in the US. Whether there is such a team at this particular hospital, we don't know, do we? We're all frustrated, but none so much as Tamara.

Tam, both a pain specialist and a patient advocate would be good resources if available. There may also be a staff member in the the administrative/medical position called "Hospitalist". If so, one of you could get hold of him or her and ask for help. If Galen and Hilary's dad could try for contact with her doctor (re: following pain medication orders and nursing staff behavior) that would be good. Engaging the nurses in seeing Hilary as a person can help them see past their own workloads and frustration...and any attitude problems may diminish.

Beyond that, keeping a log of all contact with staff and what and when meds are administered will at the very least give a set of facts to discuss with the doctor. Hilary is scared and hurting; what might Galen or her friends do for and with her to help her relax and feel calm? Music? Conversation? Hand massage?

It is so hard to determine the facts when you can't be there; I'm sorry this is so hard for you all.

(((Tamara & all)))

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:10 AM

It doesn't help anyone especially not Miss Tam to second guess the hospital.
Sending good thoughts to Hil and family.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,I Don't Know
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:20 AM

Hope you soon recieve some good news, still thinking of all your family

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 11:22 AM

Agreed, Sins.

Good morning, Tam. Here's to a brighter day of news.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 05:53 PM

Nurses were trying to wean her off meds so she could be released. So they claim. No result on bone marrow. She still can't eat even soft solid food without pain.

Other news - AFLAC rep just told her on the phone that she had been rejected on the Hospital Confinement Indemnity because she has pre-existing condition, yet they have been taking the deductions out of her pay check. Hil is hysterical. I don't think she had the policy long enough. She has a receipt that states coverage starts 1 March 2012. Never received a rejection letter. I dunno. I never could get my head around insurance speak. So I advised her to not talk to the AFLAC rep until talking to her father or soon to be father in law, both of whom worked in insurance. And better to get one of them to do the talking for her to the AFLAC rep.

Good thing I've been saving for a kitchen replacement. Ours is the original 1970's one and though falling apart it will serve until we need to sell the flat. I can now put money toward helping her through this mess.   

BTW ... my BP is up. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. Not pleasant.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 06:04 PM

Last I knew, federal law says no insurance company can deny coverage due to a pre-existing condition, any more. Good advice to have someone else got to bat for her. When a person feels so unwell, battered and down, it's difficult to stay focussed and realise what is being said, done, etc.

I haven't posted before, but I have been checking your updates and keeping you both in my thanks givings and thoughts. I am *seeing* you surrounding by a calm, peaceful light with feelings of assurance that all will work out for the highest good of all concerned.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 06:40 PM

I don't know if that applies to indemnity. Her normal medical insurance will be ok and the "reportedly" disability insurance also with AFLAC. She tried to cancel the disability because they didn't pay on it last year when she was ill, because her illness was not life hindering? Though it left her unable to work for several weeks. But the agent convinced her that should not have happened yada yada and then sold her the indemnity and some coverage on specific scans and tests to top up the disability.

She is calmer now. They gave her drugs to calm her as well as pain meds. So very sleepy. I told her that I have money to help her if it comes to it. She was too drugged to argue with me (much). She is fiercely independent.

I dunno. I am tired. Going to bed and hopefully will sleep better than I have been lately. Try to take some of your good wishes into my my dreams.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 08:26 PM

Sleep good. Fingers crossed for better news tomorrow...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:06 PM

Prayers for you and your daughter from me.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:17 PM

There is never any shame in asking for pain meds when needed. NEVER. The doctors I go to are of the mind that you need to stay ahead of the pain, that's when you heal best.

Prayers and Good thoughts for you all!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:19 PM

Insurance companies can and do reject people with pre-existing conditions. It is my understanding that in the year 2013, this will no longer be legal.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 12 - 10:35 PM

There is a difference between health insurance and AFLAC's products which are supplemental. When signing up for such products you are asked about previous illnesses. Cancer within the past five years for instance is a no go as is morbid obesity. I sold this type of insurance a while back. Great if you are healthy and don't need it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 03:39 AM

The agent who sold her the indemnity and top up for medical tests told her there should be no problem with the pre-existing conditions. The company has been taking money out of her pay check every 2 weeks for these extra policies.

I have been reading nightmare stories of people who cannot cancel their policies. Several who after cancelling found a year later money was being deducted from their paychecks and when AFLAC was contacted they received a letter that it was deemed a risk to cancel the policy so it was reinstated without the policy holder's knowledge. But then there are just as many positive stories of how much AFLAC helped.

Had a stupid tearful breakdown this morning. Quite proud of myself though because it only lasted about 10 minutes. Frustration of not being able to do simple tasks like put on bra, blouse, shoes and socks without pain and often help from TSO. I fell apart, sobbing about how can I help her if I can't take care of myself.

ah well... must go to work now and be overwhelmed by the work. At least it will take my mind of home and Hilary for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 21 Mar 12 - 06:57 PM

Prayers. And love.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 10:51 AM

How's she doing? Any further news re: bone marrow tests?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 11:56 AM

Another lovely spring day here, Tamara. How are you?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 01:51 PM

Miss Tam,
You need to breathe.
I hope I don't sound callous:
Hil is in the hospital and seriously ill. That has to be your only concern right now. Screw the insurance,screw her job, screw all other distractions. Stay focused on what you have control over.
I am speaking from experience and compassion.
Be her voice of reason. If the insurance is F'd up, let her know that you will help her with that later. Right now she can't afford to spend strength, attitude and emotions on anything but recovery. You can't either.

That said, if it helps you to dump the crap here, DUMP AWAY.
Maybe you can get us the cell phone number of that agent. We could have a lot of fun with that.
SINS, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 02:47 PM

Oh Mary, you are the best!
Well you all are the best. Love the idea of mudcat friends hounding AFLAC agent to distraction.

She is still in hospital. Bone marrow just back. HIV and lymphoma negative. Can I just say "WHEW!"

This morning's FB interchange

Hilary: Maybe it takes a special skill to be able to poop black jelly beans.
Me: Are they giving you iron for the anemia? That might explain it.
Hilary: What are you talkin bout woman?
Me: I thought you wuz poopin black jelly beans.
Hilary: Ummm no and ew why would I post what I poop ?!?!?!?


She is a bit annoyed that they can't figure out what's wrong with her. They started a new med to calm the gastritis. She managed to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich yesterday. She is posting silly comments on FB. So things are better now than they were 2 days ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 02:52 PM

She is still in hospital. Bone marrow just back. HIV and lymphoma negative. Can I just say "WHEW!"

So very, very pleased!!

I'm listening to some ambient / psychill (whatever!) at the mo'. Try some:

Jaia

Bluetech

Love x

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 02:56 PM

Wonderful! Imagine Mad Applause Here. Check your PMs, please, Tamara.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 04:44 PM

I'm so pleased to hear of any improvement, VT
Please accept a platonic hug from a 64 year old paper boy.
Good thoughts from Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM

Deep breaths. I hope today was the first of many steps forward.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 02:02 AM

So good to have some good news! Hope this is just the start of things getting better and better...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 03:13 PM

Tests ruled them out WHOO WHOO!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 03:27 PM

Latest post on Hils FB

"Hot damn I was able to eat a whole meal with no pain!!!!! :)"

That is since before last Tuesday. Still no news on when she will be released.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 23 Mar 12 - 09:07 PM

I hope she gets a few more good meals in her before the hospital boots her out. I'm sure they won't keep her a minute longer than necessary. I understand that you are both eager for her to be released, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 02:07 PM

As of this morning, they said they were not going to let her go home due to low blood platelets. But as of 4 hours ago....

"...I see blue sky's through the tears in my eyes,and I realize....IM GOING HOME!" (Rocky Horror) I love my kid!

They put her on prednisone (I don't know how long ago) but she said it seems to be working.

Thank you one and all for all your good thoughts, prayers and energy. You guys are amazing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 02:28 PM

Hurrah! Going Home

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 02:58 PM

I love good news.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 04:27 PM

So do I. Hurray and good wishes, Tamara.
CHarlie fB

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Janie
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 05:15 PM

Good news, VT.

Now, while she takes care of herself, you take care of yourself!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 08:33 PM

And there was MUCH rejoicing!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 24 Mar 12 - 10:30 PM

Indeed there is. BTW, on Nigel Patterson's thread I referred to his daughter Jane as Hilary! I've been praying for both. I may be confused, but I'm sure God isn't!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 11:46 AM

Still here, Tamara. I hope the day has gone well.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 02:48 PM

She only made it through half a day of work. Said it felt like her spleen was going to pop. I suggested that maybe she needs a few days of working part time until the meds have had more time to do the job.   Her boss told her not to worry about her job. She was really worried about Hil.

Galen really went to bat for her too with the nurses who kept refusing to give her the pain meds. Turns out they weren't weaning her off by extending the time between doctor prescribed doses. They were simply refusing to give her the meds and telling her to stop complaining.

However the nurse who was the most adamant about not giving her the pain killers, was the one who shouted at gastro doc for not ordering bone marrow test. Gastro was going to send her home after endoscopy found gastritis. Hematologist stepped in, put her in quarantine because her platelets were so low. She would not have been able to fight infection and was at risk of bleeding to death if injured.

By Saturday afternoon and 3 days on prednisone and another anti inflammatory her platelets started rising. So they sent her home. But she has to go back for tests and if the platelets start dropping then they will probably advise a splenectomy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 03:33 PM

Oh Virginia!.....

A period of peaceful silence cause I can think of nothing else to offer.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 04:45 PM

"was the one who shouted at gastro doc for not ordering bone marrow test"

Well, maybe she does know what she's doing??? In any case, it seems poor conduct, but I am not a doc or nurse.

BTW, IMO, being a nurse is the hardest job there is.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Mojo - VaTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Mar 12 - 08:17 PM

My goodness. I am amazed that she made it through half a day of work after such a recent release from the hospital! And I am glad she was able to leave when she did. I hope she continues to gain strength.