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BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...

Helen 05 Jul 22 - 03:56 PM
Mrrzy 05 Jul 22 - 03:46 PM
Mrrzy 04 Jul 22 - 03:58 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 22 - 09:43 PM
Helen 01 Jul 22 - 06:54 PM
keberoxu 01 Jul 22 - 04:03 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jul 22 - 02:16 PM
keberoxu 30 Jun 22 - 09:52 AM
Mrrzy 27 Jun 22 - 08:44 PM
keberoxu 26 Jun 22 - 03:38 PM
Mrrzy 26 Jun 22 - 09:58 AM
Stilly River Sage 25 Jun 22 - 10:45 AM
keberoxu 24 Jun 22 - 04:52 PM
Mrrzy 20 Jun 22 - 10:54 AM
Stilly River Sage 19 Jun 22 - 08:00 PM
Helen 19 Jun 22 - 07:31 PM
keberoxu 17 Jun 22 - 08:43 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jun 22 - 01:00 PM
keberoxu 14 Jun 22 - 09:36 PM
Mrrzy 02 Jun 21 - 12:51 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jun 21 - 10:04 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 May 21 - 12:32 AM
Mrrzy 28 May 21 - 09:41 AM
Charley Noble 28 May 21 - 09:01 AM
Mrrzy 25 May 21 - 02:59 PM
keberoxu 25 May 21 - 10:03 AM
Mrrzy 23 May 21 - 09:17 AM
Helen 22 May 21 - 08:01 PM
Donuel 22 May 21 - 07:30 PM
Helen 22 May 21 - 02:18 PM
Mrrzy 22 May 21 - 09:40 AM
Helen 22 May 21 - 12:07 AM
Stilly River Sage 22 May 21 - 12:05 AM
Mrrzy 21 May 21 - 10:18 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 May 21 - 01:43 PM
Mrrzy 20 May 21 - 11:46 AM
Sandra in Sydney 18 May 21 - 10:15 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 May 21 - 10:05 PM
Mrrzy 18 May 21 - 09:06 PM
keberoxu 18 May 21 - 06:28 PM
Helen 18 May 21 - 04:55 PM
Mrrzy 18 May 21 - 04:37 PM
Mrrzy 18 May 21 - 09:14 AM
Mrrzy 16 May 21 - 04:35 PM
keberoxu 16 May 21 - 03:36 PM
Mrrzy 14 May 21 - 04:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 May 21 - 03:53 PM
Mrrzy 14 May 21 - 03:14 PM
Helen 14 May 21 - 03:09 PM
keberoxu 14 May 21 - 01:51 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 05 Jul 22 - 03:56 PM

Yes, but did you get your back back? To normal or at least a workable sort of normal, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Jul 22 - 03:46 PM

That was 11 hours I'll never get back...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jul 22 - 03:58 PM

Just for giggles I am in the ER for my back.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 22 - 09:43 PM

This sounds like an opportunity for your son, the services have aligned to possibly give him some help. I hope it goes well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 01 Jul 22 - 06:54 PM

Mrrzy, I hope everything works out well, especially if your son gets some therapy. I think you can be, as they say in the media, "cautiously optimistic". My fingers and toes are crossed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Jul 22 - 04:03 PM

Your son is nicknamed "Jesus" for the physical/facial resemblance, did I hear you correctly a while back?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and ALL the saints,
as my favorite Irish-American recovering Catholic liked to say . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jul 22 - 02:16 PM

I got there early and talked to the prosecutor, who taught me the term "therapeutic docket" and said son had to request it. Yikes.

It was his actual trial. He claimed that the jail never gave him a PIN so he hadn't been able to hire a lawyer. Offered the choice to continue without one or wait to have one, he opted to proceed without one.

He only ran on a bit. Not too psychotic-seeming. Malheureusement. The judge at the beginning asked me if I would help with bail, I said I would help if on therapeutic docket, at which point son told me to leave the courtroom because he "doesn't like" me but he was on video from jail so I just went to the back.

He pled Not Guilty to everything, offered no defense, did not cross-examine, guilty on all 3 counts. Prosecutor recommended therapeutic court for sentencing AND HE AGREED! Excellent news!

If he complies there will be a lot of therapy and help with housing and employment. If he doesn't, 11 months of jail (12 months, 11 suspended). I don't think failure to comply results in hospitalization, but in loss of suspension of the prison sentence. However, the initial eval may result in instant hospitalization.

I was able to say sorry to all the vics, which made me feel better, and they all seemed happy he would be getting treatment, which even more so. 2 of them knew him as a regular homeless guy they saw when going to work on the Downtown Mall.

So here is what he actually allegedly did:

Vic 1 works in front of a plateglass window fronting on the courtyard son often slept in. One fine day he stood in front of her window with his back to her, pulled his shorts down and wiggled his bare ass at her, turned around and wiggled his front, turned around looking over his shoulder at her and wiggled some more... She moved so her monitor blocked him but he kept at it FOR OVER AN HOUR till her boss noticed, and *he* called the cops.

Vic 2 lives somewhere off the Mall and first saw son talking to her landlord in her front yard, then a few minutes later when she looked out the window son was starkers, so she called the landlord, but he (son) got dressed and left. But then later when she came home with groceries he was in her yard and wouldn't leave so *then* she called the cops.

Vic 3 is a librarian and knew him, as he came in often to use computers. They were closing because a storm had knocked out the power and when she went to tell him he poked her in the boob. She asked if he needed anything in case he meant to just get her attention and missed her shoulder, but no... Then something happened the judge wouldn't let her talk about but I think she heard about the other stuff and reported it. She was the happiest when he agreed to treatment.

So... He should be out of jail once the paperwork goes through. Here's hoping he complies with whatever this therapeutic docket dishes out...

So I am on my second gimlet at my fave French restaurant on the Mall...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Jun 22 - 09:52 AM

Tomorrow's the day?
May it be the first day of the rest of a better life for all concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Jun 22 - 08:44 PM

Yes, Friday, and no, no news.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jun 22 - 03:38 PM

Can you find out, in fact, if
mental health court is where he will go?
It's this week, yes?

Such a horrible illness, steals people body and soul away from their loved ones
and causes so much suffering for everyone.
Keeping you in my thoughts and my heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jun 22 - 09:58 AM

The time he was involuntarily committed I had managed to time the calling of 911 perfectly. All other times the cops were called, he was only held for the 3 days, or committed himself.

No news. Still no answer to my emails.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jun 22 - 10:45 AM

When adult children have mental health problems there isn't a lot a parent can do, unless they make a specific threat that they will hurt themselves or someone else. Or you. Calling police (dicey) or a mental health intervention service that works with police (much better) might get a 72-hour hold in a hospital psych ward, but beyond that, the control is in the hands of the grown child.

In college I rented the downstairs apartment in a house owned by friends who lived upstairs. They had an adult son who needed a diagnosis and medications but it took a while before it finally happened for him. If I was home and I heard a pattern of loud stomps on the ceiling I was to race outside, around the back of the house, and up to their back door and let myself in. That happened a couple of times (once it was because the pigs got out of their enclosure and I had to help round them up) before it finally worked - Tommy was there, he was so angry and hurt and sad all at once, and made a declaration that he would kill himself or them - so when the sheriff arrived I was the witness. ("Please don't cuff him tightly, he's ill, not a criminal!") That 72 hours made a difference and started him on a path of treatment. Last I heard he has a normal life and a family of his own. It can work. I hope it does for your son also.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Jun 22 - 04:52 PM

Do you know any more yet, Mrrzy, about what happens next?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jun 22 - 10:54 AM

That was *last* year's assault... After that, son lived in a hotel for a while, then opted to be homeless.

I was handing out soup last winter solstice and gave him soup before I recognized him. He was unpleasant to me, but not belligerent.

He would ignore me if he saw me on other occasuons. He posted something weird about martial arts and the cops once, he still has Facebook.

Then (what keb refers to) was I heard while I was out of town that he got arrested, and when I looked up public records there were 3 things, an assault arrest in Feb, and a lewd and lascivious plus another assault and some emergency order thing from June 5. I called the jail, he'll be there till court July 1, no bond. He is in quarantine or was when I called because everybody gets quarantined, he has not asked for counseling. So other people are safe from him right now. I felt more relief than anything.

Then I had a long talk with the arresting officer. She did not remember what she arrested him for in Feb but what he did in June was, to my mind, a serious escalation of his mental illness, being that he grabbed a woman by the tit and then dropped trou. She and her friend brought the willywagging charges, the emergency thing is a restraining order against him.

I have emailed the prosecutor of record and the commonwealth's attorney asking if the case can be moved to mental health court but have not heard back.

So one hand, relief for safety of others; other hand yikes, he has never been sexually violent before, and thinks of women as people (or at least did growing up). And on the gripping hand, I have no standing, legally, to request mental health court. Probably up to the victims.

So, yeah, interesting times.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 22 - 08:00 PM

Mrrzy, I have a close relative who has made himself the black sheep of the family, and when I hear of a shooting in the area where he lives I cross my fingers and look it up, hoping it isn't him. So far it hasn't been, but he continues to live on the edge. Lots of lost jobs, disputes with co-workers, and of course he knows better than anyone the truth of what is going on when others are "wrong, but blame him." In his telling, the bosses always end up agreeing with him, but somehow still seem to let him go. He's mostly hardest on family members, so we just stay out of his way.

I hope there is a good outcome for you in this.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 19 Jun 22 - 07:31 PM

Mrrzy, I hope the court case goes well. Thinking of you on the 21st - which is tomorrow here, but in two days time for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Jun 22 - 08:43 PM

Of course it's up to you, Mrrzy old friend,
whether or not to air what has happened on a thread;
perhaps you prefer PM's for the present situation,
if it's that sensitive.

Maybe you could be persuaded
simply to let us know that you are hanging in there?? Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 22 - 01:00 PM

I've known several people to spend short (or not so short) periods of time living in their storage units. Discreetly. I saw mention of that somewhere down thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jun 22 - 09:36 PM

Mrrzy, a lot of us care about you,
and your hint that things have gotten worse made me feel like
this thread would invite more of us to express our support.
Also:
this thread is ten years old?!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jun 21 - 12:51 PM

Court date moved to 21st.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 10:04 AM

Froze my ass shut on the river, but it did not rain, at least. Have found out son is in a hotel and has a storage unit, so, good. Wonder if he'll appear for court..


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 May 21 - 12:32 AM

I suppose I could do a float trip also. I've considered buying a really inexpensive kayak so I can pull the snagged plastic off of the roots and limbs along the edges of the creek in my back yard (it's actually a pretty pool back there). Cabelas has some, and Academy, for under $100. Plastic will work.

Enjoy your long weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 May 21 - 09:41 AM

Thanks, sweetie! Off to Float Trip, yay, nekkidy hippies. Offline till Monday night Mudcat time.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 May 21 - 09:01 AM

No news is good news...

(((Mrrzy)))

Charlie Ipcar


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 May 21 - 02:59 PM

Court dates on June 2nd and 3rd. Nothing other in the news department, thanks for checking!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 May 21 - 10:03 AM

Me, I'm not using a car wash,
just go to the filling station to use the squeegee
to get the pollen off of the windshields ...

... and has anything developed further, Mrrzy,
in your situation?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 May 21 - 09:17 AM

[Twilight Zone theme music]


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 22 May 21 - 08:01 PM

Nah! It was just water and it dried out over time. No spookiness here! LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Donuel
Date: 22 May 21 - 07:30 PM

When devices heal themselves don't you wonder how?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 22 May 21 - 02:18 PM

I had to replace the Walkman, but the good bud earphones I had bought which were not working have now started working again. I'm happy about that.

Maybe life is like a car radio in a car wash. It gets a bit overwhelmed and goes into a funk and then rights itself and gets back to some sort of normality again. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 May 21 - 09:40 AM

Thanks.

The radio woke up a few hours later.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 22 May 21 - 12:07 AM

Re your carwashed radio, I heard a clunk-clunk-clunk sound coming from the washing machine and had to wait until the wash cycle was finished and then found my little USB style Walkman looking very clean but now no use at all as a music player. Funny but sad. It still works as a USB stick though.

I'm sending you and your son good thoughts, but it seems like a very tricky situation.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 May 21 - 12:05 AM

Did the roller rip off your antenna?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 May 21 - 10:18 PM

Yes roommate has known son for 12 years. He was warned and warned but did not *get* it. No idea on ire direction... Sigh.

Decided after this week I deserved a clean car. Went to usual carwash. Now the radio in my not-quite-a-year-old car doesn't work...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 May 21 - 01:43 PM

Did the roommate know what they were getting into when they became roommates? Does this make one more person you son will direct his ire towards from now on?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 May 21 - 11:46 AM

Aaand my kid filed counter-assault charges so now they are both evicted.

But nothing really new, so, good.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 May 21 - 10:15 PM

very interesting times!

some years back a member of a club I belonged to had a 30-something son with schizophrenia who still lived with his parents even tho they didn't want him there due to his condition & conniving behaviour & their bad health. He was hospitilized on occasion & always came/was brought "home." I have no idea how the situation ended as she stopped coming to meetings due to her very bad health.

good luck

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 May 21 - 10:05 PM

Oy. So now he's out and really pissed off. Take care.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 21 - 09:06 PM

You guys are a large part of that.

Cops arrested him, let him go, and gave him *a ride back to the battered roomie's house* - non mais vraiment. He broke in, roomie called cops, but Tim's not off the lease yet. So roomie and *his* mom are coming here for drinks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 May 21 - 06:28 PM

It is for times like these that you need
a support system --
I hope you have everyone and everything that you need to have now.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 18 May 21 - 04:55 PM

Venting valve thingies are our speciality. Always happy to help.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 21 - 04:37 PM

He *is* out. I heard where he was so I called the cops. I steadfastly refuse to feel guilty about that, as I am convinced *everybody* is safer if he is not runnung around loose.

At least the cops can tell me if they arrest him. I did not like being out of the loop.

Thank you all for providing a venting valve thingie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 21 - 09:14 AM

He called yesterday looking for places to stay so I know they are letting him out but the cops are looking for him so if he surfaces he'll go to jail, where I would rather have him than loose, frankly. I am freaking out from eating carbs this weekend so took a chill pill last night. It is being recommended that I try for a restraining order too so that if he comes here he can be arrested, but right now if he is *anywhere* he can be arrested, plus I can't drive for a day or so...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 May 21 - 04:35 PM

No news. The social service people are talking to me as they don't realize Tim rescinded that permission, but his current hospital can't as he did tell them not to. But socserv will talk to them and report back... I should know more tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 May 21 - 03:36 PM

. . . and then what happened??


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 21 - 04:34 PM

Oh yes. Whenever he gets worse I am the source of all his ills.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 May 21 - 03:53 PM

Where there is mental illness, it is often the case that the people they're hardest on are family.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 21 - 03:14 PM

Committed involuntarily for "up to" 30 days so he still might get out tomorrow. Sigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: Helen
Date: 14 May 21 - 03:09 PM

What keberoxu said: we care about you, and also about the people you care about.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy is living in interesting times...
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 May 21 - 01:51 PM

I'm so sorry, Mrrzy.
Your son WAS medicated for a time, previously, yes?

It's beginning to sound like a vicious cycle:
lather, rinse, repeat.

Remember: you take care of YOU!!
We care about you.


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