Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.

Subject: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 May 12 - 02:34 PM

This years Festival is still in the planning but we have a list of musicians already booked so express an interest if you will ( or not as the case may be ). Also we (The Committee) would welcome any suggestions for improving the overall set up!
Already booked are 'Vinegar Butt' ,' Jezlo and the half-pennies', 'Baron Ardwrigley' and the Frenchman 'Bossy Mal-Aviel' This years event promises to be bigger than ever but even more will be welcome.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Jeri
Date: 04 May 12 - 02:50 PM

This isn't meant to be a threat, but I might consider going if you would book Fishy Archer.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 May 12 - 03:31 PM

Sadly Jeri I haven't heard of Fishy Archer.. but will discuss it with the committee.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Jeri
Date: 04 May 12 - 03:47 PM

Oh my! Fishy wrote "Men o' Mirth" and "The Final Troll". I thought everyone had heard of him. Sorry!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 May 12 - 04:07 PM

Hey Jewri... sounds good... anything to do with 'Trolls' must have a place!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 12 - 04:18 PM

Perhaps in the Travelocity Gnome section?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 May 12 - 04:38 PM

Caravans and Motorhomes will be welcomed this year.... in spite of the problems we had last year with lack of electricity.... We have now made extensions to suit allcomers.   The fish and chip shop has also been equipped with all necessary equipment for the production of fish and chips to the standard expected.( and peas )

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Elmore
Date: 04 May 12 - 04:54 PM

I'll not be there unless you book my favorite trio, Martin, Wind and Reed

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Paul Burke
Date: 04 May 12 - 05:21 PM

The shanty session at the Nelson's Arms will be led by William Bligh. He encourages all comers to participate- using rope's end and marlinspike...

There will be a pacifist melodeon workshop led by Gandhi Cutting. President Obama will NOT be pressing the button.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST
Date: 04 May 12 - 05:55 PM

Matron say's I can go again this year.

Final details awaited

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Doktor Doktor
Date: 04 May 12 - 05:56 PM

Hows about some Gospel ? a flying visit from Cora Vangels is promised, with Ali Lewyer & Gloria Skingdom, not forgetting Celeste Tiel (Host)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Dave Earl
Date: 04 May 12 - 05:57 PM

But Matron tells be to log in properly if I want to go.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 May 12 - 06:12 PM

There will definitely be Gospel there this year..... Cora Vangelis coming and Gloria Skingdom is also on the cards for a brief visit. Sheila Convertu may also arrive but will be unnanou
nced!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Elmore
Date: 04 May 12 - 07:42 PM

Just got word that I've been picked to lead the Stand up for Judas workshop.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 12 - 08:29 PM

Sister Paschal Candle Half-Lit says she can make but only if Sister Blister drives.
I will let you know.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 12 - 08:36 PM

Shanties in Scanties went over well last year. A few rope burns but...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 May 12 - 04:07 AM

The banjo tossing event will be carefully monitored this year as it was found that some of the banjos had been fitted with lead weights last year, giving the 'tossers' an advantage.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 05 May 12 - 08:34 AM

The Young Guns will give the first outing to their "Sharp shooting shanty", accompanied by a demonstration of knife throwing by Young Eagle.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 05 May 12 - 08:36 AM

or maybe that should be "knife throwing AT Young Eagle"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 05 May 12 - 09:18 AM

Can we please have some land shanties this year? Those of us who get seasick in the bath deserve the same rights as everyone else.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 05 May 12 - 09:20 AM

It's all very well holding a Air Bodhran championship year after but surely the much more sophisticated art of Air Spoons should be recognised? Now if this were to be introduced, I would be there in the front row with my encouraging hecking of the likes of

"Souper"

"You've got it to a T (spoon)"

"He's been the best from the ladle to the grave"

"Rubbish! He should be given the wooden spoon."

"Great! Give it that old EPNS."

... and so on until I was arrested by the Bad Joke Police.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 05 May 12 - 10:49 AM

Why not an Air Singing competition?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Dave Earl
Date: 05 May 12 - 12:38 PM

Doesn't 'Air singing include Barber Shop ensembles.

OK matron I'll come for my tea now.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 12 - 01:31 PM

Banjo Players with Teeth was well attended last year but with no performers it really didn't go over well.

I do think we have to re-visit the single ladies accommodations. Some of the male attendees took it to be a House of Ill Repute. And some of the ladies (?????) accomodated them. I recommend two tents - Single Sluts and Singles who Sleep this year with separate rest rooms, heated water if possible.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 May 12 - 03:50 AM

The new indoor sleeping facility is now up and running or at least the water is... there is a leak in the shower room and the whole area is flooded. We are confident this can be fixed by Festival time. With regard to single ladies accommodations mentioned... there is no segregation this year so you sleep where your sleeping bag is..... To the men... you have surely heard the expression 'Let sleeping bags lie".....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 06 May 12 - 05:00 AM

To stave off competition from the Queen's Jubilee and the Olympics, I assume Blitherscrum is being televised this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 May 12 - 09:08 AM

That is a distinct possibility although the efforts to televise last year were unsuccessful because of the thick fog that enveloped the Festival site. (Some suggested we ban smoking this year!)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 May 12 - 05:14 AM

If Blitherscrum is televised, can we have an assurance that the sex orgies, which so marred the last broadcast, will not be repeated. Honest to God, that fellow with the donkey!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 07 May 12 - 06:49 AM

Owen Woodson wrote:-
".....that fellow with the donkey! "

I was at that festival last year but did not opt to go to the Sex Ceilidh. Instead, at that time I was one of the four people listening to the talk, A History of the Blitherscrum Festival from 1998 to 1999 given by Tall Ken Bow-Licks.

However, I did hear lots of people afrerwards talking about the incident that Owen refers to but most of them seemed to be complaining that the man was not keeping time with the tune that the band were playing at the time - Donkey Riding.

Of course, what I heard might be just a lot of Cock & Bull stories.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 May 12 - 07:26 AM

I saw the whole incident and I can tell you he wasn't keeping time with anything except the donkey. I wouldn't have minded so much except that the band went on to play Kick the Donkey and somebody called the RSPCA.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 May 12 - 08:16 AM

I totally agree Owen... He ough.. He ough... He ought to have known better!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 May 12 - 08:50 AM

Is it true that Blitherscrum's going electric this year? I heard that Bobbysocks Zimmerframe, the grand old man of protest songs, is bringing his new amplified band and they're going to upstage all the aging rockers, like they're a bunch of rolling stones or something.

If so, and remembering the difficulty encountered with trying to get the lights to work last year, he'd be well advised to bring his own electrician.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 May 12 - 08:57 AM

If it hadn't been for that chinese man who told everyone to put their hands in the air..... the lights would still be out.... amazing how they came on! He said it was ancient Chinese proverb... "Many hands make light work"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 12 - 10:07 AM

groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 May 12 - 10:39 AM

Q. How many Chinese electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb and the other to quote Confucious.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 07 May 12 - 12:43 PM

Just back from Upton-on Severn, and can give you a contact for a quantity of part-used festival mud, if that's any help.
By the way, if you're looking for someone to judge the air alphorn contest, I happen to be the reigning champion on that splendid instrument.
John Kelly.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 07 May 12 - 01:36 PM

Actually, to save time, here is the address: Davy Jones, c/o the 'Triton", Upton-in-the-Depths.
But you'd want to get on to it soon; apparently there's been a flood of enquiries...
JK. (grabbing my sou'wester and running like hell)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 May 12 - 02:25 AM

There have been some objections to the Festival from the residents of the neighbouring village, Upton Ogood about people illegally camping on their land. We have no knowledge of this but please don't do it as it upsets their pet cows.!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 08 May 12 - 03:35 AM

Blimey combining chip shop will toilet facilities seems adventurous...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 08 May 12 - 06:37 AM

Speaking of air alphorns; if you are looking for some acts that are a bit different, I play in an air alphorn trio, which is a sight to behold, I might tell you. Mind you, you wouldn't want to believe anything I might tell you. I can also put you in touch with an air kazoo band, but the pet cows wouldn't like that much either.
Actually, I've just dug out an old photie of me playing the didgeridoo while juggling two used tea bags with one hand, but since the tea bags are quite hard to spot, the photie could be open to some misconstruction, so is not for publication.
JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 08 May 12 - 07:59 AM

Good News about the Blitherscrum Air Guitar Championships!!!

Entrants will not need to bring their own guitars this year. I will be supplying racks of air guitars - enough for all competitors. Just look for my racks of guitars which look like this. They will be lined up outside the marquee. No need to book in advance, just pick on up on your way in. There will be enough for all!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 May 12 - 08:32 AM

Vic. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your kind donation of an air guitar as the prize... very civil of you and much appreciated by the committee.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 08 May 12 - 08:37 AM

That's OK. I have a lot to spare. The problem that I forsee is getting them returned after the competition. We all know people that are keen to borrow instruments, but not so keen to return them.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 08 May 12 - 09:14 AM

Vic,

I hope the government doesn't find out you've giving away free air. They'll tax the stuff.

The Brehon laws, which was a judicial code intended to keep the peace in early Christian Ireland, prescribed a harsh penalty for anyone borrowing a harp key and not returning it.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: stallion
Date: 08 May 12 - 10:46 AM

Sorry i can't make it this year so someone else will have to do the web cams, dunno if it is worth doing since it is so cold everyone will be wearing trousers so the revenue from selling to the sites may not be as good, pray for hot weather and a bunch of heavy drinkers.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 08 May 12 - 11:12 AM

So its cow friendly?

Then I'll bring that pet o'mine as she's been trained to reproduce slow airs

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Kara
Date: 08 May 12 - 01:02 PM

Can we be entered for the bango tossing event please


The Banjo The Bucket and The Gun

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 08 May 12 - 03:03 PM

Bearing in mind the news that the farting of dinosaurs may have caused their extinction, can the staff in the food tent please make sure they don't sell too many baked beans this year?

And it would be a good idea if the bar staff decided not to stock any of that 17.9% Living Dead, which leant such a pungent atmosphere to previous festivals.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 May 12 - 01:51 AM

I completely understand the 'Too many baked beans' theory. I ate so many last year it was difficult sleeping with myself!..... I am enjoying your input Owen... any suggestions for possible performers.. bearing in mind we have already booked those mentioned in the first posting on this thread?..

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 May 12 - 04:38 AM

'I completely understand the 'Too many baked beans' theory.'

Made a widow of Lady Franklin!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,dáithí
Date: 09 May 12 - 05:02 AM

...so where and when is it then?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 09 May 12 - 05:29 AM

Georgiansilver. Well, at my age I'm more familiar with veteran performers than I am with up and coming young upstarts. However:-

I know it would mean digging him up out of the grave, but what about T-Spoon Walker, that well known west coast bluesman? He could bring Big Bill Spoonzy with him. I can guarantee that, even at this late stage, their talents have not desserted them.

Then there's Michael Coalman, still fiddling away like crazy after 121 years.

For those who feel that even Blitherscrum is getting a bit too comfortable theese days, we could always get Miss Whiplash herself, Dolorous Kane. Highly recommended, especially for submissive audiences.

With so many transgender performers around these days, perhaps it's time to for the grandmammy of them all to stage a comeback. I mean of course Ms Alice Campbell.

Then we could always get that well known Liverpool folk group to reform, although I should warn you they're all into repairing motor cars these days. And they've change their name to the Spanners.

That's a few to be going on with. Bath chairs, mobility scooters, hearing aids and false teeth jars at the ready. And they're just for me.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 May 12 - 07:16 AM

Amongst fringe artistes will be Susan Vaguer, promoting her new album 'Specific'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Splott Man
Date: 09 May 12 - 08:34 AM

Will Spears and Bow Men be there?
Bella Head is very popular down our way too. She'll bring her own food, because, Bella, she 'as a Feast on the campsite.





I'll get me coat...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 12 - 08:48 AM

Kara,
I thought we voted down tossing bangos but I may be wrong. The Animal Protection people got involved last year.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 May 12 - 10:09 AM

Bangos?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 09 May 12 - 11:25 AM

We had this last year. A bango is a bongo with a neck and strings and whatever you call the piece of plywood that goes on the end.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 09 May 12 - 02:22 PM

I think it would be nicer to encourage up and coming new players by showcasing them in a special concert, "Bangos the Talent".

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Jack Campin
Date: 09 May 12 - 08:34 PM

There are some genres that just never get proper recognition at festivals. Can't Blitherscrum make amends by organizing events that feature East Gallery singing, Austin dancing and the Southumbrian pipes?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 May 12 - 01:53 AM

Some great ideas coming now Folkies... keep em coming.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Splott Man
Date: 10 May 12 - 03:57 AM

Owen, that plank at the end of the bang is a bang player.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 10 May 12 - 11:11 AM

Urgent News Flash. Bodhrans welcome.

Yes folks it's true. For the first time ever in its entire existence, the Blitherscrum Festival Committee is welcoming as many bodhran players as it can possibly accommodate.

A report in last night's Blitherscrum Enquirer explains that gold has been found on the festival sight (sorry, site), right under the latrines. The report goes on to say that the gold diggers can't get there until October at the earliest. So what better way to spend a festival weekend than sifting through mountains of shite for those little nuggets. And what better purpose could a bodhran be put to than being used as a sifting pan, suitably drilled of course.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 12 - 12:29 PM

Still waiting on firm dates for the festival. Any news?
I am hoping it doesn't interfere with Synchronized Land Swimming at the Olympics.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Dave Earl
Date: 11 May 12 - 03:37 AM

Yes

Please advise dates as soon as possible I need to make sure that it doesnt clash with the National Uphill Backsliding Competition.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 11 May 12 - 07:54 AM

I hope the dates don't coincide with the CCC - that always draws huge numbers.

What do you mean, you've never heard of the CCC? It's the....


Considerate Conservatives Conference!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 May 12 - 09:14 AM

County Club Cricket?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 11 May 12 - 09:43 AM

Vic, I am reliably informed that the Considerate Conservatives Conference has only attracted one delegate in the entire 22 years of its existence.

That one, IARI, turned up at the conference venue, The Dog and Carthorse in Lower Splotham, with a placard which read "Death to the Workers".

He was forcibly ejected by the organising committee after it had been pointed out that if all the workers were killed off, there would be no-one for the tories to live off.

I think you mean the Callous Conservatives Conference. That attracts them in droves.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 11 May 12 - 09:59 AM

Oh yea! "Considerate", "Callous" - I knew it was something like that.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 May 12 - 01:21 AM

The usual game of Sunday "banjo" tennis will take place on Saturday this year as there were objections from the local church regarding the noise made when the banjo hits the ball. The bodhran frisbee championship will also be held on Saturday....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 13 May 12 - 06:29 AM

Just while I think of it, is it possible to get that bloke with his octopus banned from the piping competition this year? It's obvious he can't play the poor animal, and all the heedrum hidrum Himotra hokum noises are coming from him.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 May 12 - 05:30 PM

Among the distinguished guests visiting this year are :- Sir John of Harley Street.... Sir Pico of New York..... and Sir Spender of Stocking........ any others you feel should be invited?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 May 12 - 07:45 PM

Sir Plusofwhiskey?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Snuffy
Date: 14 May 12 - 08:42 AM

Algeda Longsome-Howe should be there.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 16 May 12 - 05:19 PM

And don't forget to ask Duke Airtodans to start off the ceilidh, or maybe Sir Kel Right if there are plenty of dancers.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 May 12 - 02:06 AM

And maybe Dorothy... The one the call Dozey Doh?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Jack Campin
Date: 17 May 12 - 05:51 AM

Will last year's "Most Complete Rendition of Willie MacBride" competition have finished in time for the start of this year's one for "The Fields of Athenry"?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 17 May 12 - 06:11 AM

Whatever way you look at the the Blitherscrum Festival Ceilidh is a real social gathering of the aristocracy. We have already heard that Duke Airtodans and Sir Kel Right will be there, but what I really looking forward to is seeing the grace and style with which Lady Schain and Sir Cassius Surkill show when they dance together.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 17 May 12 - 06:14 AM

I've just heard that the Right Hon. Starr has also bought his ticket.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 17 May 12 - 06:52 AM

Will Lady Mondegreen be there?

This might be a bit late for Blitherscrum 2012, but has anyone ever thought of a banjo swallowing competition? You know, like sword swallowing only with a banjo instead of a sword. Long necked banjos only of course. And no showing off and trying to shove the fat end in first.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Green Man
Date: 17 May 12 - 06:58 AM

Where do I buy tickets if there are such things?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 17 May 12 - 08:11 AM

Tickets? Are you mad? There's a purpose built emergency exit for people who've suffered more than 4 hours entertainment. You can always get in through that if you walk backwards.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 May 12 - 08:13 AM

Banjo swallowing sure sounds good... but some of Vics air guitars could also be permitted.. will put it to the committee.....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 17 May 12 - 08:58 AM

Naah. Anyone can swallow an air guitar, but show me the person who can swallow a cathedral air organ, complete with air pipes.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 May 12 - 11:02 AM

I seem to remember there was a woman in films in the 60's who used to swallow organs...... Be too old to book now though eh?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 17 May 12 - 03:14 PM

That was a different type of organ altogether, and we'll have none of that filth if you don't mind. Blitherscrum is a nice smut free family festival. At any rate it used to be until I started going there.

I still haven't forgotten the year someone booked a strippergram morris dancer and everyone complained about the length of his baldricks.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 17 May 12 - 03:33 PM

I think all festivals are the devils work and should be banned..
All folks who attend festivals are heretics and should be branded, then made to morris dance...IN PUBlIC.
and if one of the morris's don't get them they should be run over by any other small,old, British made car..
All folk music should be banned and only played by a small number of eccentric people who have secretly gathered for the purpose above a pub in Gainsbro (or other small town in Lincolnshire or Yorkshire)
and never be played on any form of public address system including radiograms and televisions..
Unless they have over dubbed the atrocious row with electrically amplified instruments...
and then it should only happen once a week for an hour maximum..
Best wishes to you all
Love and peace
Tim
XXX
:)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST
Date: 18 May 12 - 02:49 AM

Is Sir Plus Stores coming with Sir Loin Steak and Sir Prise Peas again this year?

AD

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 May 12 - 03:44 AM

Sir Cumference of Circle definitely is..... and Sir Monon de Mount

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 18 May 12 - 03:45 AM

Sir Tainly-Knott.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 May 12 - 08:51 AM

Sir Pentine of Hyde Park...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 19 May 12 - 04:06 AM

I hope the craft fair's opening times have been sorted out. Last year it closed early and I missed out on getting one of those ocarinas shaped liked body parts. They were very popular and a lot of people spent the entire festival in their tents practising with them.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 May 12 - 04:13 PM

Including you Guest Gail?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:22 PM

As it happens Mr/Ms Silver, I am a dyed-in-the-wool folkie and do not believe in practising.
Yours in a huff.

GG.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:56 PM

Ha Ha.... when you climb back out of your huff please make me laugh some more!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 20 May 12 - 06:09 AM

All of my suggestions have been innocent attempts at being helpful to the committee.
It makes me wonder just who is actually on the Blitherscrum committee.
There's a rumour of a hostile takeover bid from Ruth Less and Dick Tater.
Any truth in that?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 20 May 12 - 07:49 AM

There's a rumour of a hostile takeover bid from Ruth Less and Dick Tater

It is more than a rumour..... Ruth is determined to replace her brother Hope on the committee. Hope's policies and actions have dominated the Blitherscrum Festival for many a year.
Dick is also hoping to replace his brother Po on the committee claiming that Po is more interested in his vegetable allotment than running a folk festival.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 May 12 - 08:43 AM

He's only a common Tater anyway.... works for the BBC.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 May 12 - 04:41 PM

Sorry Guest Gail.. I missed that.. I am Mr Georgiansilver :)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 20 May 12 - 06:34 PM

Excellent, I'd like to see more such formalities enforced at the festival. It would facilitate all kinds of social intercourse, not least by reducing unfortunate errors in the ladies-excuse-me.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 20 May 12 - 06:50 PM

100 (where woz you Terry?)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 May 12 - 11:07 AM

Actually, Gail, the little targets in the loo were not an "unfortunate error". Some of the ladies were "missing" the bowl altogether.
The cutesie little sign:
If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Please be neat
And wipe the seat.

didn't help. Someone pissed all over it, the door and the mirror.

Ladies, my foot.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 24 May 12 - 03:31 PM

I know, I know. I'd just like Blitherscrum to set world class standards in etiquette and hygiene. Since Renata Bogroll was sacked last year things have gone from bad to worse.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 May 12 - 04:05 PM

Sinsull.... It was obviously Miss Dalta Gether, Wee Donna Dore and Uri Nonglas

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 02:59 AM

Anyone remember the Blitherum FF when two children drowned whilst partaking in the trout tickling workshop.
Three men had heart attacks from over indulgence with the high cholestrol food. One of the wives died of shock.
The marquee burnt down due to the 'Smoking' rule (ie everyone had to smoke in the marquee).
Several people had their rear ends bitten by the sewer rats which hid round the bends of the temporary toilets and only came out for a nibble.
Many people were injured whilst others were checking to see if the main hall really was only a stones throw away.
Such was the demand for bodhrans that several were stolen..(another theory was that they were destroyed when the marquee burnt down..but how they got there from the other side of the river in time for the fire is anyones guess)
Two people are still suffering from epizootic lymphangitis after stroking the cows which were wandering in the indoor camping site.
Five others also have the disease after bathing in the cows milk.
There were other things which marred that years festival but I can't remember them all can I?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 04:10 AM

Rose-tinted glasses have made it seem better than it really was, Georgiansilver.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 07:03 AM

There will be a visit from that colonial upstart Sir Fing(USA)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 08:02 AM

Georgian Silver. You are probably thinking of 2001, the year of the great Aphtae epizooticae epedmic (that's foot and mouth disease to you and me). Rumour has it that that the health inspectors went in the ceili tent and saw all the hoofers hopping about from foot to foot. Then they went into the food tent and saw all the ruminants chewing away on beefburgers. Then they went into the ballad session and saw the audience sitting in rows like sheep. Then they issued the order to exterminate the entire herd right there and then.

A sad mistake, but one honestly made.

Then there was the year that Bovine Spongiformal encephalopathy broke out among the storytellers, who immediately had to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act. Well, they were due to be anyway. In fact the only real harm done was when one of the storytellers started telling the ancient tale of the Táin bó Blaithiorscrium (The Cattle Raid of Blitherscrum), which took three days and three nights to tell, and on the evening of the third day, he was no nearer finishing it than when he'd started.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 11:32 AM

Ah, whither Blitherscrum? I hope to attend this year after an absence or was it an abcess? I hope the rumour that there will be holes in the toilet seats this year is true as unexpected levitation can be somewhat disturbing. It also takes you out of range of the loo roll. Can someone confirm that the date is the 45th to 47th of Septober as my diary is full in Octember and my bus pass runs out too.

You'll be glad to know that the Swine Vesicular Disease that I caught in 2003 has almost run its course and I am no longer contagious to pigs. Humans, however, should keep a reasonable distance away such as Nevern Ogood.

Hoping for a rollicking good time

Regards to all

Pierre (ex) Le Bateau.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 06:42 AM

Seats on the toilets? Do you mean to say that this year there are actually going to be seats on the toilets? Well I never.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 09:57 AM

Are there going to be any traditional singers on the bill this year? Just a night or so ago I was talking to old Charlie Clitoris and he was saying he'd love to get back out on the road again. He's had his blistered hernia repaired, and his quintuple by pass, and at 107, he's singing better than I've heard him in years.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 03:43 PM

Glad to see old Clitoris is back...a lot of folkies have been searching him out for years

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 04:20 PM

Yep returned after a series of serious strokes!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 03:13 AM

Rumours that Juan Kerr is appearing this year must be scotched.. He is not appearing but several others claiming to be him have attempted to book tickets. There will be no Juan Kerrs at this years Festival!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 07:39 AM

Dunno about Juan Kerr, but the Bates family will be there again. Mr Bates and Mrs Bates, and their son, the well known Master Bates.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 08:00 AM

Sorry, I should have said Master Bates, the well known solo performer. He's been playing on his own for years, and that's no mean trick considering his terrible eyesight.

Incidentally, it's not widely known, but Mr and Mrs Bates nearly got divorced a few years ago. It wasn't so much that he was playing solo as playing away fom home. Happily it's all patched up and they're back to playing duets, or two-handers as they quaintly call them.

Sorry to hear that Juan Kerr can't make it this year. However, the good news is that his brother Ron Kerr is standing in it for him. Great performer on the arseolium, but do be careful not to stand downwind of him when he's on stage. Fair blows the audience away he does.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 10:00 AM

will Charlie Clitoris have his backing group the G-Spots with him..I think everybody gave up the search for them some time ago.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 11:12 AM

Sorry, that was me earlier on. My cookie became disconnected.

Are we talking about the same Charlie Clitoris? The one I'm thinking of has no backing group. He sings unaccompanied. In fact he used to describe himself as an acapella fella, and almost landed star billing in that well known Elvis film, Fun In Acapulco. Unfortunately the production crew rumbled him just before shooting was about to start and he got a job singing with Herb Alpert instead.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 04:00 PM

According to yesterdays edition of the 'Claggy Bottom Examiner' Charlie Clitoris has sadly passed away after multiple organics(?). It is presumed that this means he gorged himself on foodstuffs of an organic nature as he did love a big cucumber or leek, although no one has been able to put a finger on this.

Charlie did sing with Al Capella at times, particularly during his tour of Upper Minging high street in 1923.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jun 12 - 04:18 PM

It has been confirmed today that Master Bates and Juan Kerr will be at the Festival but according to my source.. they will be in many guises!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 03:13 AM

I once had a bit of bother with Charlie Clitoris. I don't know what I did wrong, I just seemed to rub him up the wrong way.

Anyway, I think Juan Kerr is currently working as a Paul McCartney looky-likey. I'm sure it was him headlining at the Diamond Jubilee Concert the other night.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 04:23 AM

Gail that was definitely a Juan Kerr!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 01:12 PM

News Flash!!! Hugh Jampton the well known financial wizard (he's a Barclay Banker) will be appearing after all as he has won his appeal and will no longer be deported to chimpanzee world where the alleged offence was committed.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 02:38 PM

The Harston Brothers will be appearing on the last day... I heard they are both going solo after the Festival and each will be doing some solo songs so that you can state a preference for Big Harston or little Harston

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 09 Jun 12 - 06:09 AM

At last I've got to the bottom of it. Charlie Clitoris was banned when the festival committee discovered he was planning to moon at the audience while singing Buttock Up Joe.

A sad move and a poor reflection on our native traditions. However, the good news is that the committee has invited a strong Scottish contingent in Charlie's stead. They include:-

Jock Aye The Noo who will be tossing his caber.

Wee Willie MacWinkie who will demonstrate the fingering on his chanter.

The Pipes and Bums of the 69th (Highland Division), who will finally solve the riddle of what's worn under the kilt.

There are also rumours that The Glasgow Awfullest Choir will be putting in an appearance, and there will be an exhibition of live haggis.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 09 Jun 12 - 06:20 AM

Owen,   Thought the riddle of what's worn under the kilt was solved.
(Nothing..it's all as good as it ever was!)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jun 12 - 02:06 PM

There will be no fingering of chanters or tossing of cabers by order of the committee....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 10 Jun 12 - 03:45 PM

Well I favour 4-4-2 plus goalkeeper.

Oh sorry, wrong thread.

That reminds me, though. Blitherscrum Wanderers won't be invited again for a pro-am football match will they? Their supporters just didn't fit in, what with all that singing and drinking.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 05:13 AM

Personally I thought Blitherscrum Wanderers, or Staggerers, as they are fondly known, fitted in extremely well. So well did they fit into the beer tent in fact, that nobody else could get inside the place.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 06:11 AM

.....Well I favour 4-4-2 plus goalkeeper.....
.....pro-am football match.....
.....Blitherscrum Wanderers.....

Football? Football?? Surely even the name of BlitherSCRUM tells you that this is far more of a rugby town?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 06:49 AM

Good try Vic, good try!! There was a conversion from rugby to football some years ago!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 06:50 AM

So it is, that is why the players have odd shaped balls. However, the good folk of Blitherscrum can turn their hands to anything of a sporting nature. I have personally witnessed numerous people staggering out of the tents first thing in the morning, after drinking copious amounts of beer the night before, to play a round or two of croaky.

I also know of the existence of the Blitherscrum Pistol Club, whose motto is "Drink All Night. Pistol Dawn."

Then there is the Rowers Club, where the rules couldn't be simpler. Whoever starts the biggest row wins first prize.

Then there is the Blitherscrum Riverside Dangling Club. There, amid cries of "By 'eck, this water's cold. And it's deep too", enormous cash prizes are awarded to competitors who can stand on the riverbank and piss into the Blitheravon without causing any ripples or splashes.

Dwile flonking? Who needs dwile flonking witht that lot going on?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Snuffy
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 09:02 AM

Will that great duo Nonaigh Nebhair and Nevin O'More be there this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 09:07 AM

Not sure Snuffy but the local farmers dog 'wild rover' might be around. He had to be darted and sedated last year for persistently biting bodhrans!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 04:03 PM

Darted and sedated? What a waste of all that bodhran biting training!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Tangledwood
Date: 11 Jun 12 - 07:01 PM

"Stop beating that frizbee and throw it! Woof!"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 06:47 AM

Just for the record Wild Rover was trying to bite the bodhran players, as any dog with intelligence and sensibility would. Unfortunately, one day he succeeded, but before he could be voted Dog Of The Year, he died of alcoholic poisoning.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 07:00 AM

That so made me laugh Thanks Owen!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 07:47 AM

The dog didn't find it funny. I told him time and time again. Drink all the slops and free pints you want, and that amber stuff they serve in those little glasses. That's very tasty. But one bite of a bodhran player's leg, especially if the owner of the leg had been on that 15% proof Hair Of The Goat Special the night before, will prove instantly fatal.

Ah well, he's up in heaven now, where there's no bodhrans, only harps. Knowing Rover, he won't be happy till he's bitten through one of them. But as they've all gone electric up there, he might be in for a bit of a shock.

BTW., does anyone remember that cat the festival adopted? Mr Stinks they called him. By 'eck, if you stood downwind of that thing after it had had a feed of boiled cabbage and beans!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 09:00 AM

Yes the smell was catasstrophic

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 10:10 AM

Fringe artistes will include:

The Lubliners direct from Poland with their latest hit 'Jiggly Polka!'

Icelandic singing sensation, Skwork with her new album,
'Yellow Snow Drops'

Klezma Band, 'Oyvaytion!' with their new cd ' Hava Tequila!'

Aging superstar Englebert Pumpernickel singing his unforgetable Eurosong, 'Unforgetable'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 11:24 AM

Following popular demand for more openness & transparency & also to meet the requirements of the Freedom of Information Act,   a new workshop will be in operation this year,

The Festival Committee Squabbling demonstration.

It will include:

Tips on technique for laying blame for financial losses in previous years

Hidden agendas


Ego trips

Blackmail

Insinuations

Needling & bullying

Other suggestions welcomed

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 12:31 PM

Corporate breaking of wind...( it's the way they say it!) ,

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 12:54 PM

Mr Stinks was a MS actually. She is returning this year with a litter of little Stinkies. Might we not invest in a litter box? Several guitar cases were put out of commission last year with just one cat on site.
Eight or ten could wreak havoc or just plain reek.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 01:37 PM

Sinsull. You are confusing Mr Stinks with a female fan of the festival who is affectionately known as Ms Takes ('em off). Ms Takes' metabolism has a very low tolerance of alcohol, with the consequence that, after 17 pints of Dirty Nelly's (5.8% OG), she starts to take her clothes off. This act of physical denouement continues until she is entirely naked, usually after she has demolished her 24th pint.

The matter has been reported to the festival committee who, I regret to say, treated the complaint with an attitude of "So what? Let it all hang out".

This I could have understood fifty years ago when Ms Takes was doubtless in the prime of life. However, at her present age, variously estimated at between seventy and a hundred and three, most of it hangs out regardless of her state of dress.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 12 - 02:47 PM

Ms Takes apparently attempted suicide by shooting herself last week. She had asked her doctor exactly where her heart was and he suggested that it is usually behind the left breast. Having shot herself through the left thigh she is recovering in Blitherscrum Hospital.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 27 Jun 12 - 04:08 AM

Shot herself in the thigh eh? People who attempt suicide in Blitherscrum usually end up shoting themselves through the foot.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 09:54 AM

New for 2012!!

The Mystery Guest Anagram Showcase!

Featuring well known artistes appearing incognito in various venues around the campus & town.

Only people who are able to state actual names of those appearing will be admitted

Participating acts will include:

Bad Hole Lew

Fetch crust hither

Christoph Random

Zoe Wallblab

Backyard Breastplate

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 06:13 PM

It might help some of those unfamiliar with the ways of Blitherscrumites to know that 'hidden agendas' is a local euphemism for the internationally known sport of hiding the sausage (saucisson, wurst etc). The current world champions of course being Winston N'Bristol and Grace M'Siddley of Ketchupwananland. Apparently a saucy pair who have 27 offspring between them.

By the way, in the interests of keeping music live, would it be beyond the bounds of possibility to actually have performers this year who are not so much composing as composting? Apart from anything else it's too much competition for the poor cat!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 07:00 PM

Last year it was rumoured that one of our Festival goers had visited a graveyard and seen a man actively rubbing musical notes off a page of music. The concensus of opinion was that it was probably a dead musician 'decomposing' !

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 12:09 PM

Other mystery anagrammed acts will be:



Joe Welz & Ed Sheepbandit

Severn Hayward

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jul 12 - 05:26 PM

Peeleye Stan is appearing again this year or so I have just been informed... also Nate Busby. Vinegar Butt has been confirmed a performing and Mossie Flalavialle from Dalinton!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 11:35 AM

Pongo's Bongos

Loud & disruptive percussion instruments especially suitable for drowning out those precious, disdainful & snobbish diddley sessions.

New for 2012!

Genuine galvanised steel dustbin lid with beater, complete with 1lb hammer: £49.00

Practice Metronome, uniquely calibrated to be perpetually off the beat: £73.99

Pre-stretched guitar strings, guaranteed to stay out of tune: £4.50 each or set of 5 only £9.99

Extra noisy bodrhans & amplifiers if required, can be turned up to eleven!!

Instruction books showing how you too can accomplish an unforgettable performance!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 11:59 AM

No shaky eggs?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 01:17 PM

What date is this festival please

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 02:16 PM

Octember 32 was the last I heard. Has it been finalized?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 12 - 04:03 PM

Actually being held in Octember but the date you mentioned is probably too early.... Can't wait!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 05:28 AM

Georgian Silver. Peeleye Stan is the name of the man who has been assigned to peel the potatoes for the food tent, and gouge their eyes out. Hence the name.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 06:44 AM

I thought that was his buddy.. Spud Ulike!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 07:56 AM

No, you're getting confused there, he's Spud Youdontlike!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 08:05 AM

He had a peal anyway...... Thanks for taking the opportunity to 'chip' in. No half baked comments please.... My ex wife and I used to go to a lovely little restaurant in Blitherscrum, two nights a week... for fun , good food, and companionship... She went Tuesdays and I went Fridays. We get on much better now we sleep in separate beds... mines in England.. hers is in Australia.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 12:13 PM

is peeleye preparing the mash pit near the main stage?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 12 - 12:19 PM

I don't think so... someone gave him a roasting for doing that last year!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 06:34 AM

And where is blitherscrum thankyou

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM

Blithersrum is in Berkhamptonshire... nearest town is Upton Ogood!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:49 AM

As you rightly say GS, Upton Ogood is indeed the nearest town being, in christian measurements, some 5 leagues away. However, the tiny hamlet (other cigar brands are available) of Nevern Ogood is but a spit, cough and half a tardwainers nard in the same direction and worth a visit to see its Museum of Medieval Gas Cookers.

It is not recommended to attempt to go to Berkhampton itself as it involves two hay rides, a three wheeled tandem and an ox drawn dung cart. Return tickets not available on Tuesdays during the bogget hunting season (January thru December).

Maps are available. Please send a stamped and addressed goat for delivery.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Vic Smith
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 08:09 AM

Blithersrum is in Berkhamptonshire

Are you sure? I was led to believe that Blitherscrum was in Norfolk.
I'm sure that one year I was asked to distribute leaflets at our club that were headed:-

BLITHERSCRUM FOLK FESTIVAL
*****NORFOLK AND GOOD!*****

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 08:59 AM

Due to the enduring heavy rainfall, this year's temporary toilets have had buoyancy tanks added in case the field becomes flooded and stilts will be available from the festival office,should the campsite become inundated

,

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gy morris man
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 12:14 PM

I assume that all the morris sides dance the medup tradition.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 10:30 AM

"I assume that all the morris sides dance the medup tradition."

Nearly correct Guest, in fact all sides are required to dance in the well known Nottinghamshire 'me duck' tradition. Flat caps and/or miner's helmets are not obligatory but whippets are and 50% of tatters must be of lace.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 11:00 AM

Lace? Luxury!

we 'ad to dance wi' both ower legs tied together wi' bits o' rusty fence wire!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 11:50 AM

Peeleye Stan and Spud Ulike are a pair of mashers. Chips off the old block in fact. Well, they see eye to eye at any rate.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 12:15 PM

They are a blight on the festival and you know it! A bit of rain and they turn black!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 01:09 PM

Eh. We'll have no racist slurs around here. Anyone would turn black if they stood in the Blitherscrum rain for long enough.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 05:00 PM

Mari Spiper's a good all rounder too.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Mingulay
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 12:01 PM

It's good to know, according to Owen, that the Blitherscrum smokeworks are still going and pouring their black soot into the atmosphere. A tradition sadly lost in most parts of this blighted land. Only the other day I saw a field of almost green grass. A terrible blot on the landscape.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 12:38 PM

And I guess it will have one of those great turbines (modern windmills) on it, as most green grassy fields soon will have.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 01:41 PM

Has anyone reminded the drug squad this year that we are entirely innoquous. Remember the situation last time they got a call about dubious characters meddling with noxious substances? Turned out to be nothing to do with drug crazed degenerates smoking grass or whatever they call cannabis nowadays. It was just Delaney's donkey had got loose and was helping himself to a tasty bit of somebody's nearby lawn.

As if that wasn't enough, one of the sniffer dogs ate my lunch and pissed all down my bloody leg. And I got a caution for not being able to produce a complete set of Voice of the People.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 02:04 PM

How did you know it was a 'sniffer' dog Owen?? LOL

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 05:56 AM

Because it was sniffing. That's how it came to find my lunch.

To make things worse, one of the most respected bodhran players in Little Muckleton, that's the next village to Blitherscrum, was there that year. Winning cups and medals and all kinds of stuff he was, until the dog crapped in his bodhran case.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 07:23 AM

where can I get a dog like that?!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 08:55 AM

No it was the bodhran player who was winning cups and medals and prizes. The dog didn't even win a wooden nickel.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 09:43 AM

Just got word that the US candidates for president will be making an appearance and offering a seminar called Blithering at Blitherscrum. Where can we hold this?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 12:05 PM

He could actually enter the 'Blithering Idiots' competition whilst here. Best time and place for the seminar would be 2am in the throwing up tent... everything gets thrown up in there at that time.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 12:13 PM

No, that's the Blitherscrum idiots competition and it's only open to natives of Blitherscrum. I know that Obama was born in Hawaii but that doesn't count.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2012.
From: Owen Woodson
Date: 22 Aug 12 - 11:01 AM

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS.

At almost the last minute, the festival committee has managed to secure a late concert appearance by the legendary Jenny Talia Band.

The band has had a serious rupture of late, so nobody knows for certain what the lineup will be. However, I'm reliably informed that Red Scrotum will be playing the knackers, and the always reliable Richard Hampden will be showing the world what he's made of. Jenny will be leading them on vulvazula and, as always, the band's programme will be gleaned directly from oral transmission.

Best of all, this sudden addition will not lead to any increase in ticket prices. That's because the band is funded entirely by pubic subscription.