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BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....

Jeri 08 Jan 18 - 06:30 PM
bobad 08 Jan 18 - 06:03 PM
Senoufou 08 Jan 18 - 05:44 PM
Greg F. 08 Jan 18 - 05:35 PM
Jackaroodave 08 Jan 18 - 05:32 PM
keberoxu 08 Jan 18 - 05:04 PM
Jeri 08 Jan 18 - 05:01 PM
Jos 08 Jan 18 - 04:43 PM
Jeri 08 Jan 18 - 04:37 PM
Senoufou 08 Jan 18 - 04:33 PM
Bonzo3legs 08 Jan 18 - 04:05 PM
keberoxu 08 Jan 18 - 03:54 PM
gnu 02 May 14 - 08:49 PM
Ed T 02 May 14 - 08:36 PM
mauvepink 02 May 14 - 07:04 PM
GUEST,# 01 May 14 - 02:32 PM
Ed T 01 May 14 - 09:45 AM
akenaton 01 May 14 - 09:25 AM
Ed T 01 May 14 - 05:56 AM
GUEST,LynnH 01 May 14 - 04:59 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 07:32 PM
gnu 30 Apr 14 - 06:42 PM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 04:24 PM
GUEST,kendall 30 Apr 14 - 04:15 PM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 04:02 PM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 03:59 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 14 - 03:54 PM
GUEST,McMusket 30 Apr 14 - 03:32 PM
Jeri 30 Apr 14 - 02:54 PM
gnu 30 Apr 14 - 02:42 PM
PHJim 30 Apr 14 - 02:24 PM
PHJim 30 Apr 14 - 02:15 PM
Q (Frank Staplin) 30 Apr 14 - 12:44 PM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 11:19 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 11:15 AM
GUEST,LynnH 30 Apr 14 - 11:06 AM
George Papavgeris 30 Apr 14 - 11:04 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 11:04 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 10:53 AM
Jeri 30 Apr 14 - 09:49 AM
GUEST,McMusket 30 Apr 14 - 08:53 AM
sciencegeek 30 Apr 14 - 08:35 AM
George Papavgeris 30 Apr 14 - 05:55 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 04:50 AM
GUEST,mauvepink 30 Apr 14 - 04:43 AM
GUEST,LynnH 30 Apr 14 - 04:28 AM
GUEST,Eliza 30 Apr 14 - 03:02 AM
Ebbie 30 Apr 14 - 12:27 AM
Jeri 29 Apr 14 - 09:32 PM
GUEST,# 29 Apr 14 - 08:28 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 06:30 PM

Thanks for the clarification. I was pretty sure I understood "non-binary", but I was just guessing. Had to look it up. One definition I found was "not relating to, composed of, or involving just two things."

In this context, I'm taking it to mean that people don't see gender as an either/or thing. Maybe it's someone saying they have many female qualities, but also a few male ones and doesn't want to identify solely as one thing. I think that's actually most of us, because many qualities we assign to a specific gender just ends up that way because people believe it should be.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: bobad
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 06:03 PM

What does "non-binary" mean when a person uses the word
to describe lifestyle/sexuality choices?


I'm pretty sure that gender identity is not a lifestyle/sexuality choice. I know that I never arrived at a point in my life where I had to choose what gender I wanted to be and I don't think anyone does, it's an innate thing. I assume that someone who identifies as non binary feels no strong affinity to one gender or the other or else sees themselves as being flexible - good for them, they get the best of both worlds.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Senoufou
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 05:44 PM

In the past, people have been very concerned about categorising their fellows and putting them in pigeonholes and boxes. Those that didn't seem to 'fit' or conform provoked hostility and I would say a little fear.

Happily, these days things are changing. Unless someone is causing harm, I say they should just be who they want to be, dress as they wish, and lead their lives as they desire. What does it matter?

I like variety and find it interesting. Humans come in all shapes, sizes, colours and sexual orientation. It's fascinating.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Greg F.
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 05:35 PM

People who would care what another person wears are...we need a different word than "busybodies".

Assholes?


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jackaroodave
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 05:32 PM

Not "either/or," not dichotomous? Dwelling [at varying points] on a gender continuum? Or not thinking in terms of male-female polarities at all?

I have some transgender friends who identify emphatically with one gender--it's just not the one whose equipment they were born with. Each would feel wounded if referred to as "they." On the other hand, I have friends who are a male-female couple, each of whom identifies as gay and prefers to be called "they." I love them all.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 05:04 PM

All right, here's another attempt to make myself more clear.

What does "non-binary" mean when a person uses the word
to describe lifestyle/sexuality choices?
Eliza/Senoufou seems to understand the word AND my confusion.

Also unclear was that I was quoting an online review.
The shopper/consumer found a supportive undergarment
that did the function it was supposed to do
without looking like ladies' lingerie.

Thanks everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 05:01 PM

The main problem is the language, and the need to nail things down with a concrete, inflexible definition. I have several transgender friends that I know of. For me, gender has little to do with my friendship. Other than being able to communicate with one another, I don't care.

Wear whatever the hell you want to wear. People who would care what another person wears are...we need a different word than "busybodies". We'd be better off seeing people as individuals instead of genders. Everybody's different.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jos
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 04:43 PM

As for underwear, just think about what you want it for. Is it to support something, to control something, to hide something, to keep something warm, to make something look sleek or to make something look pretty ...
And buy accordingly.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 04:37 PM

"Thanks for taking my question seriously."

Assuming you're not trolling, you didn't ask a question.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Senoufou
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 04:33 PM

I rather like the term 'non-binary'. It points out that people don't fall into one of just two categories or definitions. That there are different kinds of sexuality and body perception/form. It allows for more flexibility.

As to buying underwear though, one doesn't need to talk about it or discuss it first, surely? One can wander round the shops or go online and choose whatever style one wants. There's no end of choice nowadays.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 04:05 PM

Load of nonsense.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 03:54 PM

Here is a specific question, about a word that surprised me the other day.

It is the word "non-binary,"
and it was NOT in the context of the Mudcat Poetry Corner.

A shopper was talking about clothing that was not lingerie,
that they were comfortable wearing,
and the idea was to avoid feminine/female-looking undergarments.
I hope I'm saying this right.
This shopper described themselves as "non-binary."

I just have trouble wrapping my head around that term;
but I do understand that a transgender person
would prefer not to wear conventional lingerie.
Thanks for taking my question seriously.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 14 - 08:49 PM

Ask Mr. Google about William James. Good read. Thanks Ed. Cool guy. Billy too.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Ed T
Date: 02 May 14 - 08:36 PM

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James 


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: mauvepink
Date: 02 May 14 - 07:04 PM

I think E Pluribus Unum was fantastic. Thank you Ed

..and thanks, too, all other kind comments for here and in pm. I am grateful

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,#
Date: 01 May 14 - 02:32 PM

People's choice of gender or sexual partner is basically none of my business.

Gnu my friend, I think you were much more polite than I would have been.

Funny though. I read a rant on Facebook today from a lady whose partner is another color. Two other women had dropped racist remarks to which she took offence--rightfully so--and she blocked them as friends or whatever one does on Facebook. Seems to be a world problem. Too many people with too much time and way-far too much to say about it all, whatever it all is.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Ed T
Date: 01 May 14 - 09:45 AM

"People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character". (Quote by - Ralph Waldo Emerson)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: akenaton
Date: 01 May 14 - 09:25 AM

I once knew a chap who thought he was a tractor.....seriously :0(


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Subject: Lyr Add: E PLURIBUS UNUM
From: Ed T
Date: 01 May 14 - 05:56 AM

E Pluribus Unum

A Latin phrase that's kind of fun
It translates to 'Of Many, One'
It means though we are not the same
To this place our Fathers came
They came here so they could make
A better life for family sake
Now their children stand in their place
Hoping to be free of race
To be judged for what's within
And not by color of our skin
Worship where we wish to be
And be from hate forever free
Share our hearts with him or her
Regardless if of same gender
Black or White or mix of two
Christian, Muslim, atheist, Jew
Gay of straight or trans* or bi
Together we can touch the sky
And though it may sound kind of dumb
We're always 'E Pluribus Unum'

Anonymous Ghurl


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 01 May 14 - 04:59 AM

@Gnu: "Just seems to me there are a pile of idiots......." Have you only just noticed that? How long have you been on Mudcat? (or any other internet forum for that matter!)(My tongue is very firmly in my cheek here!)

It's interesting how others react to GLBT people. At the weekend I went to a vernissage and the subject of the pictures gave a short resume of her life. Coming out to her father as M2F at the beginning of the 1980s was apparently no problem.......then she told him she was also a lesbian......That did not go down well!

Somewhere in the Bible there is something along the lines of,"we are all made in God's image". I've found this very useful when dealing with religious bigots. Unless, of course, they've got Ph.Ds in Theology and consequently lots of clever, evasive answers.

@Mauvepink: re the comment about bigots- On YouTube there's a video of Janis Ian performing 'Society's Child' in Brighton in 2011. What she tells in her introduction to the song illustrates the bigot problem perfectly. The trouble, as I see it, is that they dig themselves in in their personal bunkers and become unreachable for any form of discourse that contradicts and attempts to prise open their sad ignorance.

Must work more on my singing voice. If Louisa Jo K could do it then so can I!


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 07:32 PM

There is more to life than just "getting laid". Was it Janis Joplin who said she got to make love to 20,000 people a night when she sang on stage?

Yet another phrase whose author eludes me is this... "Bigots are like the pupil of an eye. The more light you shine on them the more closed they become". Quite sad really.

Ignorance must never become a sin. Ignorance can always be changed by education and learning. Ignorance, therefore, is not a crime. Hatred is though when used to harm innocent folks and those who support them.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 06:42 PM

DARE we discuss the 'celibate". They are truly messed up apparently... or so I was told rather rudely on Facebook last night. I shit you not. Idiots abound. She, whom I have never met before, responded to my joke about choosing celibacy near 20 years ago... 'not my problem you can't get laid'. Imagine that!? If someone can be hurtful and rude to my sexual choice of celibacy (and most know I ain't no prude in any way, shape or form), then... well... it's hard for me to grasp the true depths of oppression of those who actually do have a sexuality and are open about it. Just seems to me there are a pile of idiots out there that have to be educated, especially within their own souls and minds, IF that's possible.

Glad I read this thread again. Gives me hope that intelligent and wonderful people will speak up and teach the idiots some... ah... er.. oh yeah!... intelligence!


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:24 PM

One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman

Simone de Beauvoir


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:15 PM

I've known one man who became a woman. I was anything but mentally ill.

It is not your plumbing that determines which sex you are, it is your mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:02 PM

I (as an elf) changed your M & F around in your post. Thanks for answering me.

Thanks for changing it and taking the confusion out of my silly sentence :)

It was an honest question that required an honest answer is all. Elves must be listened to! ;)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:59 PM

The last post was from me to PHJim as this is.

"Mauvepink, I have just reread this thread and find myself admiring your comfort with yourself and your life decisions. "

...as I admire all who are comfy in themselves and around others who are different (which is essentially everyone, because everyone is different). It's not so odd what I am. It's not a curse. It's all a part of nature as we all are. It is those around us who give us our comfort zones :)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:54 PM

@ PHJim

Great question! I have no idea. A lot of gay men have sub names for being gay but none I know as other than light hearted and inoffensive. :)

I am happy to be gay as in homosexual. Some women do not like being considered the same as men and identify differently. I am in your school of thought. It simply means loving the same gender


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,McMusket
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:32 PM

Like I said above but without the unfortunate point scoring from Jeri.

An excellent discussion by many people but as a result of a pathetic op.

Read the op Jeri. The least you would expect from those asked to filter such things in the first place eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:54 PM

I (as an elf) changed your M & F around in your post. Thanks for answering me.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:42 PM

I just read the thread again and think the folks herein are wonderful people. I wrote a long post earlier but gave up trying to post it after ~20 attempts with three different browsers so that 'nutshell' will do for now.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:24 PM

Mauvepink, I have just reread this thread and find myself admiring your comfort with yourself and your life decisions.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:15 PM

Mauvepink, I have always considered "lesbian" to be a subset of "gay".
That is all same sex relationships are gay, but only female same sex relationships are lesbian. For this reason I use the word gay if the subject comes up.
Is there a male equivalent to the word lesbian?


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:44 PM

In the 1950s, I was with a major oil company, in research. We were told to expect an employee from another section of the Company; new, professional level, and in training.

The person came in and at first we were non-plussed (remember, over 60 years ago) because he(?) appeared male, had a man's name, but was wearing a dress. We were a little slow to react, but then welcomed him(?) and proceeded to integrate him into our group. Nothing said, and with only occasional second glances, he was accepted.
We treated him as a person, and no problems developed. Acceptance into our activities, lunch gatherings, etc., followed without incident. Our group included both professionals and technical assistants.

Noteworthy is that an old-line oil company hired him on; at that time most employers would have avoided anyone deviating from the norm like the plague.
I also think that our reaction, for the time, was the correct one and we all learned something.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:19 AM

@ George :-) {hugs}

I have waited since hearing that song George and chatting with you on the phone to thank you, shake your hand and maybe exchange a hug of deep gratitude. One day you may be unlucky and it will come true! ;)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:15 AM

@ jeri

"Mauvepink, I have to ask, did you mean F2M or the other way 'round. I'm confused. (Not a totally unfamiliar state for me.) Thanks."

Have I confused you based on my saying F2M? My bad. Silly me! I put it the wrong way around so not your fault. Can a mudelf please edit my earlier post at 30 Apr 14 - 04:43 AM, 3rd paragraph, to M2F rather than F2M?? My error. Tupid stypo!

I can only apologise and thank you for asking. the other reference is to me being gay. I use gay as opposed to lesbian as lesbian seems political to me sometimes. I'm happy being gay! :)

(with no offence to anyone identifying as lesbian. We each define our sexuality as we feel suits)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:06 AM

I seem to recall hearing about a very conservative american, republican politician who was trying to have T-people banned from running for political office and was, more or less, advocating chromosome tests for candidates.

To be perhaps slightly provocatively arrogant- I, like so many others, have to live a life that I feel at one with and not how somebody thinks I ought to live. If this involves a realignment of the assigned gender then so be it. If narrow-minded people can't accept this then it's their problem, not mine.......unless gratuitous violence is involved.

I often find myself wondering how those people who get really worked up over T-people would react if one of their children were to oame out to them as trans. Would they disown their child and then, in case of a possible resulting suicide, stand there at the grave shedding crocodile tears? Or would they honestly try to realign their attitudes and accept the 'new' son/daughter? When I chance to read articles, postings etc. by bigotted journalists and the like I sometimes feel like wishing such a fate on them, even though being T is not really a fate I'd wish on anybody. But, there are always exceptions...........

I'm old enough to have adolescence of any sort far behind me and so watch some MtF activities with detached amusement. However, please bear in mind that some people feel that they've got a lot to catch up on and in a very short time............

Talk about pontificating.............


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:04 AM

:-) {hugs}


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:04 AM

@ sciencegeek

Deeply agree. I always stress that everyone is individual, all sitting somewhere on a continuum of gender and sexuality. We all fit somewhere on it and there is plenty of room left. There is very much more involved in being a woman than lying in heels on a sofa reading Cosmopolitan. Real life is out there for those who wish to embrace the reality BUT for some that reality exists in fantasy and maybe some escapism. This is why I do not call myself transgender. I am transfemale and that is a done deal for me. I live, work and play as a grown woman and take what sh*it comes with that. I do not accept the insults or bigotry on any subject and my life is no different.

But, just as water finds its own level, so must the individual, and I believe that often that level is seldom equal for many individuals. So many have it far worse than I have ever or will. To each their own ability and need :)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:53 AM

@ George P

Hey George! It was me :) You sent me the CD as a gift via a mutual friend (Simon) as he had played it for me just after I had my surgery. It was an excellent insightful song... and I was truly grateful to be able to hear my name being said at the time, relating to the fifteen minutes between me seeing the anaesthetist who kept me under for 6 hours and arriving in theatre. One day I should write about those 15 minutes a song.

You are a star :)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 09:49 AM

It's neither a point-and-stare thread nor a debate. Thank goodness--a rare bit of actual discussion. It also proves that the contributors affect the direction of a thread more than the originator.

George Papavgeris's song on YouTube Toni With an "i".

I think people may not know how to act, and rather than trying to just BE and get over the discomfort, they lash out at the object of their digruntlement.

Mauvepink, I have to ask, did you mean F2M or the other way 'round. I'm confused. (Not a totally unfamiliar state for me.) Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,McMusket
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 08:53 AM

So nice to read some of the posts in this thread. Such a pity they appear in a thread designed to point and stare at people for not being the same as them.

At this rate we may even be able to debate and be influenced purely on the merit of the thread rather than just use it to rearrange and confirm prejudices.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: sciencegeek
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 08:35 AM

the subject of gender and sex is a real can of worms... biology and sociology come into play.

speaking as a heterosexual female, I have always resented being told how I should feel or act because of my sex. I did not want to play with dolls or tea sets... and having to sit demurely because I was forced to wear a stupid dress was a crock. I no longer even own a dress, but I still have to deal with jerks who regard a woman as less able than a guy.

Because I am a civil servant and have a strong union, so I am one of the lucky gals who gets equal pay for equal work, though it's the guys who may still get promoted over us.

I will admit that I get annoyed by transgender men who act like adolescent girls... jeez, it was bad enough waiting for girls to outgrow that assinine behavior... and they want to promote it??? WTF!?!

What we really need to do is to treat individuals as that... individuals... forget about assigning roles based on race, color or sex. Let the assholes prove themselves for what they are and the rest of us stand on our own merits.


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Subject: Lyr Add: TONI WITH AN "I"
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 05:55 AM

Amos remarked (back in 2012) on the bravery of such people, who have the courage to face up to not just the physical and emotional, but also social barriers again and again (it doesn't happen overnight, it's not a brief upheaval and then sorted), to claim their true place.

This is indeed bravery of the highest order, and it was considering this that caused me to write the song below almost 10 years ago. The pay-back came 5-6 years later when I was contacted by a transgender person who wanted to know how I knew so much about what one goes through in such a case, and whether I had someone close to me or some other personal experience that gave insight. The truth was that I had neither; I have had three transgender acquaintances over the years, but that was all. It just seemed to make sense that, as Amos said, this was no trivial undertaking and therefore indicative of admirable bravery.

TONI WITH AN "i"

You checked in just this morning
You're waiting in your room alone,
White gown with the ties on the back.
Not much there to distract you
There's nobody that you can phone
They'd only try to stop you
But it's too late – there is no turning back.

Remember the confusion
Just round the corner after school
When little Jenny kissed you on the lips.
You knew what was expected
But you just stood there like a fool
Unwilling bystander
An actor who was handed the wrong script

    (chorus) But now it's almost over
    For after this you will not have to lie
    Your dreams are coming true now
    Tomorrow you'll be Toni with an "i"

The taunts and name-calling
Were followed by the beatings soon.
You did your best to take them in your stride.
At home no one to help you,
You might as well be from the moon.
You closed the world around you
And silently you nursed your wounded pride.

Then came the recognition
Like bolt of lightning in the dark,
That you were never different – just you.
Inside your isolation
You fanned to flames the little spark
And planned your resurrection
To find the happiness that you were due.

    (chorus) But now it's almost over
    For after this you will not have to lie
    Your dreams are coming true now
    Tomorrow you'll be Toni with an "i"

The years of pain followed
As one by one the covers fell,
Yet memories cut deeper than the knife.
But now you had a purpose:
That one day nobody could tell
The lie you had been living
And earn the prize of ordinary life.

So here you are now waiting,
Your goal is almost within sight,
A butterfly shedding its cocoon.
You pass the time erasing
The "Y" that was never right,
And practicing your new name;
The one that you'll be known by very soon.

    (chorus) But now it's almost over
    For after this you will not have to lie
    Your dreams are coming true now
    Tomorrow you'll be Toni with an "i"


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:50 AM

@ LynnH Hello :) I have no idea what is in my chromosomes, genes or which combination of alleles did what with me. I have no idea if my genetics are messed or if epigenetics kicked in. I only know what is in my heart and mind, and now, what is no longer in my pants! There are a lot of things I will never be able to say. I will never ever speak in a full female voice because of sinus problems. I'll never be pretty, because there is only enough concrete to go around to cover our towns so they get floods and none to spare for my face lol I'll never be a size zero. But aside from that I can do and be anything I wish to. I choose to sing. I have a lot to sing about :)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:43 AM

Well, I can honestly say (NOT false modesty) I certainly do not fall into any 'pretty' category. I am bad on the ears and on the eyes lol. But my friends still like me for who I am and that is why this world has hope that some day everyone will have their place that is respected by everyone else. Being jealous of me would be very silly for several reasons, except in envying the people I have in my life. They are the stars. Britain does have talent, with much heart :)

Anyone who has seen me or knows me would honestly tell you I have no pretense to being beautiful. I even wrote a song about "The Ten Pint Bitch" because men only fancy me after ten pints! lol I get the pick of the crop at the end of any night of numpties ;)

Hand on my heart. I have never had a member here or in public that treated me with less than respect to my face. I would like to think they do likewise behind my back too. I have so much respect for them for that. I am not an easy concept to get your head around sometimes. A M2F transsexual (I prefer transwomen personally) who is gay and sings female songs in a not so female voice, and male songs in a not so male voice. Who looks more like the Ugly Duchess than anything beauteous. But I think it matters not a jot to them because we all love the music. It's the common denomonator that makes us all alike in many ways. We have more things that makes us similar than dissimilar as individuals.

I am truly blessed to have a daughter and granddaughter who think the world of me too. I have so much help from singer/songwriters here in the UK and I am priveliged to be able to say I am friends with a couple. What's not to be happy about? :)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 04:28 AM

Somehow I have to ask myself whether 'josepp' has perhaps had reason to look into him/her/itself and has seen something which blatantly contradicts their accepted and deep-rooted perception of themselves. Or had a best friend suddenly swapped sides? As it is the posting could almost be a job application for the Daily Mail.

Life plays its tricks on us and it's up to us to make what we can out of the situation. Living in denial ties up energy which could be put to far better uses, artistic, social, political or whatever. Accepting yourself for who and what you really are, rather than merely paying lipservice, is a release, believe me. Rather than continueing to beat your head against a wall you realise that you're standing close to a door, and that door is ajar. If only my voice was a little lighter............

Some people also need to learn that there is not simply either XY or XX. There is, on the contrary, a wide range of combinations with corresponding implications.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:02 AM

I agree with and admire all mauvepink has said. And I also think Patsy has a point. Many transgenders are indeed very attractive, and this might give rise to a certain jealousy. She also says 'trangenders do not have an easy time..' which I'm sure is true. The sooner society stops judging and being unkind to anyone slightly different, the better. People should direct their criticism at those who do harm, not those who merely wish to live their lives in peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:27 AM

Hey! I agree with Jeri.


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 09:32 PM

All this arguing... sigh.
Mauvepink, you ARE special. You may not seem courageous from inside your own skin, but trust me, you are. There are many people who would try to melt into obscurity to escape notice. No judgement on that--they may have had more notice than is reasonable. You don't HAVE to talk about your own life. You're special-- no arguing, dammit!
;)


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Subject: RE: BS: About This Whole Transgender Thing....
From: GUEST,#
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 08:28 PM

Sorry, I left the # off my last post.


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