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Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...

ChrisJBrady 09 Jul 12 - 10:11 AM
Sandra in Sydney 09 Jul 12 - 10:18 AM
MGM·Lion 09 Jul 12 - 10:59 AM
ChrisJBrady 09 Jul 12 - 11:10 AM
Leadfingers 09 Jul 12 - 11:23 AM
GUEST,leeneia 09 Jul 12 - 01:05 PM
Leadfingers 09 Jul 12 - 01:33 PM
ChrisJBrady 09 Jul 12 - 02:43 PM
Dave Hanson 09 Jul 12 - 02:55 PM
GUEST,Howard Jones 09 Jul 12 - 03:33 PM
Steve Gardham 09 Jul 12 - 04:37 PM
Leadfingers 09 Jul 12 - 06:48 PM
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Subject: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: ChrisJBrady
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 10:11 AM

Folks in the US wont appreciate that the last two months were the 'Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad For Some Time.'

Or the recent rain and floods reminded me that I used to do this monologue:

Three Ha'Pence a Foot

I'll tell you an old-fashioned story
That Grandfather used to relate,
Of a joiner and building contractor;
'Is name, it were Sam Oglethwaite.

In a shop on the banks of the Irwell,
Old Sam used to follow 'is trade,
In a place you'll have 'eard of, called Bury;
You know, where black puddings is made.

One day, Sam were filling a knot 'ole
Wi' putty, when in thro' the door
Came an old feller fair wreathed wi' whiskers;
T'ould chap said 'Good morning, I'm Noah.'

Sam asked Noah what was 'is business,
And t'ould chap went on to remark,
That not liking the look of the weather,
'E were thinking of building an Ark.

'E'd gotten the wood for the bulwarks,
And all t'other shipbuilding junk,
And wanted some nice Bird's Eye Maple
To panel the side of 'is bunk.

Now Maple were Sam's Monopoly;
That means it were all 'is to cut,
And nobody else 'adn't got none;
So 'e asked Noah three ha'pence a foot.

'A ha'penny too much,' replied Noah
'A Penny a foot's more the mark;
A penny a foot, and when t'rain comes,
I'll give you a ride in me Ark.'

But neither would budge in the bargain;
The whole daft thing were kind of a jam,
So Sam put 'is tongue out at Noah,
And Noah made 'Long Bacon ' at Sam

In wrath and ill-feeling they parted,
Not knowing when they'd meet again,
And Sam had forgot all about it,
'Til one day it started to rain.

It rained and it rained for a fortni't,
And flooded the 'ole countryside.
It rained and it kept' on raining,
'Til the Irwell were fifty mile wide.

The 'ouses were soon under water,
And folks to the roof 'ad to climb.
They said 'twas the rottenest summer
That Bury 'ad 'ad for some time.

The rain showed no sign of abating,
And water rose hour by hour,
'Til the only dry land were at Blackpool,
And that were on top of the Tower.

So Sam started swimming to Blackpool;
It took 'im best part of a week.
'Is clothes were wet through when 'e got there,
And 'is boots were beginning to leak.

'E stood to 'is watch-chain in water,
On Tower top, just before dark,
When who should come sailing towards 'im
But old Noah, steering 'is Ark.

They stared at each other in silence,
'Til Ark were alongside, all but,
Then Noah said: 'What price yer Maple?'
Sam answered 'Three ha'pence a foot.'

Noah said 'Nay; I'll make thee an offer,
The same as I did t'other day.
A penny a foot and a free ride.
Now, come on, lad, what does tha say?'

'Three ha'pence a foot,' came the answer.
So Noah 'is sail 'ad to hoist,
And sailed off again in a dudgeon,
While Sam stood determined, but moist.

Noah cruised around, flying 'is pigeons,
'Til fortieth day of the wet,
And on 'is way back, passing Blackpool,
'E saw old Sam standing there yet.

'Is chin just stuck out of the water;
A comical figure 'e cut,
Noah said: 'Now what's the price of yer Maple?'
Sam answered: 'Three ha'pence a foot.'

Said Noah: 'Ye'd best take my offer;
It's last time I'll be hereabout;
And if water comes half an inch higher,
I'll happen get Maple for nowt.'

'Three ha'pence a foot it'll cost yer,
And as fer me,' Sam said, 'don't fret.
The sky's took a turn since this morning;
I think it'll brighten up yet.'

Marriott Edgar
(1880 - 1951 / Kirkcudbright / Scotland)


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 10:18 AM

brilliant


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 10:59 AM

Ah, Marriott Edgar, 1880-1951, author of many of Stanley Holloway's wonderful monologues ~~ Albert & the Lion, Sam's Pudding, and so on; though some of these, such as "Sam, Pick Up Thy Musket" were written by Holloway himself. He was a younger half-brother of the famous mystery best-selling novelist Edgar Wallace. See Wikipedia.

~Michael~


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: ChrisJBrady
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 11:10 AM

I'm wondering if someone could write a monologue parody of the London Big Shen and all the greed, commercialism, and corruption going on in the name of sport? Maybe Les Barker could? Here's hoping ... (or should I say hopping a la McD's latest scam to suck in kids?).


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 11:23 AM

I Collected (Stole) that from (I Think ) Fred Wedlock - He had an extra verse :-

Nay Nay , thou'r wrong there said Noah
It'll rain a lot more I'll be bound
Now come on lad , what price for maple ?
Bugger Off said Sam ,and then drowned


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 01:05 PM

"Folks in the US wont appreciate that the last two months were the 'Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad For Some Time.'"

So why not say a few words or provide a link?


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 01:33 PM

We have had the wettest June on record , with extensive flooding over various parts of UK ,and July is not looking much better .


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: ChrisJBrady
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:43 PM

Whilst you guys across the pond are experiencing a monumental heatwave - we in the UK are shivering, with rain storms, floods and gales. No links needed, but see the BBC News, BBC Weather, Yahoo (UK) Weather, etc., etc. And this will last until September - all through the Olympics. Its hardly global warming; more like a global washout.


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:55 PM

That verse about Sam drowning was written by Mike Harding.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: GUEST,Howard Jones
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:33 PM

In a Lancashire accent "door" and "Noah" rhyme.


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:37 PM

Ee, Marriott Edgar!
Is his stuff still done in folk clubs like it used to be in the 60s?

Some absolute classics.
King John signing Magna Carta

'His writing in places was sticky and thick,
Through dipping his pen in the jam.'

Albert and the lion.

'At this mother were proper angry.
What spend all our lives rearing children, she said,
to feed ruddy lions, not me!'

Battle of Hastings

'And after the battle were over,
There were 'Arold so stately and grand,
Sittin' there with 'is eye full ,of arrer,
On 'is 'orse with 'is 'awk in 'is 'and.'

Best thing that cum out o' lankysheer.

A Tyke.


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Subject: RE: Rottenest Summer That Bury 'ad 'ad ...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:48 PM

Thanks Dave H - but Fred WAS a Notorious Song Thief .

And YES - You still hear the old monologues in the Folk Clubs now and then .


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