Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21

Subject: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 04:07 PM

21 October 1999: The moon is 12 days old (until sunset) according to the Gregorian Easter cycle.

For other information, consult the U.S. Naval Observatory (http://riemann.usno.navy.mil/AA/data/).

T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Peter T.
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 04:35 PM

According to my Mudcat Almanac, the moss on the side of the moose indicates a long winter. Towards November, there are signs that the sun will be going down earlier every day, until round about the end of December. This is because it is being eaten by the Sumerian Goddess of the Underworld, Ereshkigal. Late December will see flurries of squirrels awakening out of season in many parts of the world, as the Squirrillennium coincides with the Millenium this year. January is expected to be windy, except underground, where it will be cold, but quiet. February is a leap month, when the track and field portion of the Olympics will start. March will be a good month for planting relatives who died in the wintertime. Be sure to stay away from pomegranate juice until April. Persephone ate 6 pomegranate seeds when she was abducted by Pluto, God of the Underworld, and must remain in Hell 6 months of the year, and that is why there is winter. You don't want to take any chances. In May, be sure and plant some of those new Monsanto seeds, and check out what develops!!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: lamarca
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 05:23 PM

Peter T - which side of the moose? Does it grow only on the North side? If the moose is going WSW, and the wind is blowing 10 knots, how long is a piece of string?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 07:06 PM

WOuld that be three sheets to the wind, Lamarca?*G*

Thanks for the link, Tbird (BTW, some of us have a habit of shortening nicknames, as my was shortened by someone from katlaughing to kat; I shortened Catspaw to 'Spaw; please let me know if you do not like being Tbird:-)

Peter, I find it interesting that you've found a link between the Mill-enium and Squirrelenium. I found an obscure reference in an old Almanac about the last Mill-enium. It warned all Mill-owners to be sure to cease grinding for the duration between midnight of Dec. 31st through midnight of Jan. 1st. It was thought that all the water would stop flowing and their wheels and gears would seize up, as well as get clogged with any grain they might have been trying to grind. There was further suggestion that the authorities, some of who may have understood hygiene, used this as an excuse to encourage Mill-owners to clean up their facilities and get rid of all the rats.

Does your source say anything about this phenomenon?

puzzledkat

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 08:23 PM

How are all these changes going to affect my menstrual cycle
Yep, I'm old enough to have one.

Lil Neo

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 08:34 PM

The moon is eternal and unaffected by the silly little machinations of a human construct of time, LilNeo, so...no problem with moontime.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 08:41 PM

I haint got no klu as ta whut challs tockin bout but Ishur do chek that almynac an I knows as how weer spost ta hav a purty bad winter so I wuz wundrin ifn enny yall cud sen me sum new longjohns seeuns how my onliest pair has popped their buttons so to speak. Catspaw sed I cud use the puter tonight senz I dint git throan out the laundrymat cuz Catspaw gimmee a bathrobe.

CLETUS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 21 Oct 99 - 10:45 PM

This is what I love about the Mudcat--the collective wisdom and erudition.

katlaughing, it's fine if you call me Tbird.

T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:06 AM

hey, Tbird, ya give us a straight line and we will run with it!**BG** I love hitting off of the grand creativity of everyone else; it's so much fun!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: sophocleese
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:16 AM

Lamarca, the 1967 edition of the Harrowsmith Grade Six Primer for Outdoor Living, chapter 8 - 30 days in the Barrens and all I had was a Pair of Tweezers, says that the moss is always found on the underside of the moose, that being closest to any rolling stones. Unfortuneately for the formula it gives for the length of string we need to know the exact birthdate of the moose.

Sophocleese

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 01:14 AM

"There ain't no moss on me
There ain't no moss on me
There may be moss of some of your moose
But there ain't no moss on me"

(and I think Lamarca is more an expert on mice moss, which, growing in labratory conditions, is independant of the seasons)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 01:19 AM

Sophocleese has earned the name! Parry the thrust, Lamarca!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Peter T.
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:33 PM

Friday October 22: Weather will be widespread, especially underneath moose where droppings will create serious problems for shipping, and some flooding. Yeast will continue to rise, God willing, but IBM will go down substantially on reports of problems with Future futures. Be sure and check on your shrine to Isis, Queen Goddess of Egypt, since if the smoke sputters, her search for the fragments of her lost husband Osiris are not going well, and you can assume that if she hasn't found his kneecaps by mid-November, spring will be delayed. Halloween masks this year will include skulls and witches, as well as cartoon characters from multinational corporate movies. Squirrels will be napping mostly, in preparation for New Years, so be sure and jackhammer a few trees today for a good ol' time!

Note: Readers report that some other readers use pages from the Almanac for defecatory purposes, and you should be warned that our paper contains chlorine.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Mudjack
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:47 PM

What direction is the moose facing???? It is extremely important as no one should be to the mooses rear when its dumping time. Of course you can always clean up using the moss as towelets.
Once we figure out which direction it's facing so we know which side to pick it from.
Moose or Moss?
Mudjack

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:49 PM

Twice the distance from the middle to the end (unless the moose was born in a Leap Year; then it's twice the distance from the end to the middle).

Checking my astrolabe and Thoth's "Field Guide to Molds and Lichens", I find that Osiris' kneecaps are probably located in the belly of the Jarkov wooly mammoth; as they won't start thawing him until April, we are undoubtedly in for a cold winter.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Bert
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 12:54 PM

With all this moss growing around here, where's Art with his 'nesters'?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: sophocleese
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 01:22 PM

Don't forget the old hunter's saying:

Messy moose,and missing moss means loose moose, less mass and let's miss.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 02:00 PM

For those of you who may ned a little enlightenment in your quest for which side of the moose to gather moss and which end of the moose, a careful study of the following may reveal some very trustworthy research tips. from the NYX's:

Spot the moose with loose habits
TWO biologists from the University of Nevada have risked ridicule by dressing up as a moose. Dr Joel Berger dons the front end of a moose suit, his wife, Carol Cunningham, takes the rear. Thus attired, they move among the moose herds of Wyoming and Alaska, throwing balls of bear dung or snowballs soaked with wolf urine towards the moose. "This is high-tech science," Dr Berger told The New York Times.

The idea was to see if the absence of bear and wolves---traditional enemies of the moose---had altered their behaviour.

They compared moose in Alaska, where bears and wolves still flourish, with those in Wyoming, whence the predators have long since vanished. As expected, the Alaskan moose immediately became alert, and the hair rose on the back of their necks when they scented the missiles flung by the intrepid pair. The Wyoming moose remained indifferent.

This is me, now. The above was written in 1998; guess those Wyoming moose will get a clue pretty soon. There have always been bear and in fact there are always one or two people every season who get mauled by a startled mother bear. And, we've plenty of wolves up in Yellowstone now. Of course, they keep letting the whiney livestock men kill off the ones they claim have killed thier livestock...just murdered a mother and older pups. They were in the way, even though they were on federal land, the rancher who leases it for a tuppence and his cattle took precedence.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Peter T.
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 04:03 PM

Gee, kat, you must be mellowing, you said nothing about the woman taking the rear end of the moose costume!
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 04:06 PM

Aw, Peter, I thought about it, but just didn't feel like taking any flak-back, today, if ya know what I mean. Besides, I guess we should all have equal opportunities to make a horse's, oops, I mean Moose's arse of ourselves, at some point in time.:-)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 07:48 PM

if you are not sure which side of a moose the moss is on, here is a handy graphic to study....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 08:11 PM

Adorable, Bill. Almost an MC Escher kinda thing, isn't it.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 09:43 PM

*grin*...yep...I almost attributed it to a young Escher...but.....

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 10:05 PM

Escher, Smescher.......the freakin' moose just whizzed on Cleigh......come here lil guy...aw,geez...........lemmee wipe you off.......hmmm..maybe a bath.......whadda mess!.........stupid moose..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 11:40 PM

Aw, 'Spaw, jist use sum o'thet mossy stuff to soak it up, throw 'im in the crick an' he'll be's good's new. Whiz don stick much to a possum's back, yew no?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Almanac: 1999 October 21
From: sophocleese
Date: 22 Oct 99 - 11:48 PM

Shure, moose'll whiz by possum any day o' the week. No problems.