BS: Monkeys are not Apes!

Subject: RE: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 02:08 PM

Not all monkeys have long tails.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 02:05 PM

Bobert is a HillBilly Ape (Redneckus Troglodytis Wesginniensis). He is not a monkey. Yeah, he's into the Reefer Leaf bigtime, but he is still an ape. This makes him a distant relative of mine. Very distant, I might add!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 02:01 PM

"Monkey Dew" sounds like a brand of Irish whisky.

But human (Homo Sapiens Sapiens) are so far superior to their poor, benighted, dumb, distant cousins that there is no significant difference between monkeys and apes. Why, Chonga, if it hadn't been for the nice HUMAN doctor you'd still be anatomically female! No mere chimp or even a Great Ape could have done that!

Subject: RE: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 01:59 PM

What would Bobert be... a Leaf Monkey?

I have proposed to the scientific community that the Leaf Monkey classification be further classified in two distinctions, those being the Reefer Leaf Monkey and the Maple Leaf Monkey. Discussion of my proposal has arisen regarding clarification with respect to the following considerations : a) some Reefer Leaf Monkeys are hockey fans; b) some Maple Leaf Monkeys are reefer fans; c) Maple leaf monkeys are considered by many to be apes most of the time. Many in the scientific community have informed me that they will "get back to me" on this but that was quite a time ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: Henry Krinkle
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 01:30 PM

Monquis see, monquis do.
(:-( ))=

Subject: BS: Monkeys are not Apes!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 01:13 PM

This thread is for Jack the Sailor. He posted a link to a spurious chart that asserted that apes are included amongst the larger category of animals called monkeys. That is not so! Apes are not monkeys, cos monkeys got long tails and apes don't. And here is the proof:

The online FreeDictionary.Com definition of "monkey"

I quote from the essential passage in the definition, as follows:

mon·key (mngk)
n. pl. mon·keys
1. Any of various long-tailed, medium-sized members of the order Primates, including the macaques, baboons, guenons, capuchins, marmosets, and tamarins and excluding the anthropoid apes and the prosimians.

You'll see I added italics and bold to the relevant section.

And that's that. Stop referring to apes as monkeys, you human bozos! You damn dirty apes! (a human IS a form of ape) Apes are not monkeys, apes will never be monkeys, chimps are not monkeys, I am not a monkey, and that's all there is to it. But YOU, mister, ARE an ape...albeit one that ain't got enough hair and can't even open a beer bottle or disassemble a handgun by usin' only his toes.

Live with it, chump.

- Chongo