BS: This not a joke. Real problem

Subject: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,VaTam holding her nose
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:31 AM

Last week a package was left us by courier for resident in flat across the hall. He has not called to collect and not answered his door every night since.

About two time size of basketball, poorly wrapped in what appears to be Asian gift wrap. It has come some distance given the parcel labels stuck sll over it.

Last night it started stink. No. I don't mean started. It was fully blown, rotting flesh and weird chemical smell. We immediately put the package outside his door. I sprayed entire flat and vestibule between our respective front doors with Febreze. However I can still smell it and have been wretching and gagging all night.

Plan today to double bag it, open door to vestbule and first landing window and all of our own windows.

Should I call the police. This just goes beyond the pale.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:00 AM

You can call the police. It's a public nuisance.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:14 AM

Why not?...We pay them, don't we?

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 03:08 AM

Is the neighbour ok?

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Backwoodsman sans Cookie
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 03:16 AM

VaTam, are you still living in the UK? If so, you could try the Public Health Dept. at your local council office. But it's possible your neighbour is lying inside the flat, sick or worse, in which case it will be a police job to break in to the flat. I'd try both the PH Dept. and the police - I wouldn't be happy to dispose of the parcel myself.
Usual disclaimers........IMHO, YMMV.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 03:48 AM

Public Health immediately

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 06:15 AM

I'd call the Police and explain that there are two issues: the gentleman not answering his door and the very suspect package. They will surely either come themselves or advise you what should be done. Dreadful for you, and very worrying.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: bobad
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 06:38 AM

It might be that he has been sent a durian

"The edible flesh emits a distinctive odour, that is strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as pleasantly fragrant; others find the aroma overpowering and revolting. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine, and gym socks. The odour has led to the fruit's banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in southeast Asia."

It's odour has also been likened to that of rotting flesh.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 07:01 AM

Call the cops.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 09:04 AM

Yes, and please keep us informed about the result!

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 09:12 AM

... and don't forget to tell us the end of the story.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: EBarnacle
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 09:16 AM

I hope that it is a durian and that the neighbor has simply been away.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,VaTam on her Tab
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 11:53 AM

Been away today and on way back home dreading it. We double baggd the offending item and liberay applied neutradol. If it is still there I will call police. If they choose not to attend a letter will be sent to flat management and copied to resident snd the thing will be disarded in bin. I annt spend another night like last night.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 12:04 PM

It's probably a haggis. They're forbidden by the British "Official Diet Act."

Call the cops, let them deal with it. Sounds like a job for hazmat teams.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 12:32 PM

Was the package delivered by mail, or was it delivered by one of the package services? You should contact whoever delivered it and make them come and get it--they were, after all, contracted to the sender to deliver it to your neighbor.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 12:40 PM

How dare you Rapparee! Haggises (is that the plural, or is it haggae?) are delicious and never smell like that. You'll have all the Scots coming after you waving their claymores (or whatever else it is they wave!)

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,sturgeon
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 12:51 PM

UK local authorities don't have Public Health departments. Try Environmental Health instead.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:29 PM

The plural of haggis is way too many.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:34 PM

One haggis is a serious problem. Two or more haggis(es?) is a major disaster! But this could be a durian, because haggis is very rare in Asia. On the other hand, it could be something a lot worse than a durian. I won't advise you what to do, because you've had plenty enough advice already.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Henry Krinkle
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:35 PM

Open the damned thing. We all want to know and don't want to wait for the po-po.
You can bust into your neighbors home too. He might be dead. The woman I live with's daughter's neighbor died. She called the po-po and they told her to go on in and make sure he was really dead. They didn't want to be bothered. She went in and saw him all purply. Heroin O.D. I think. T.V. was still on.
=(:-( O)

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:44 PM

More to the point, can you smell anything unpleasant emanating from under your neighbours flat door ?

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:47 PM

Yuck! Most of us don't really want to deal with something like that. We'd much rather let the police do it. Now, if Chongo was confronted with this problem, he'd definitely bust down the guy's door and see if he was there. If not, he'd put the package inside the guy's fridge, reseal the door, and just "fageddaboudit"...or maybe he'd call the cops about it.

But that's Chongo. He tends toward action.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,VaTam on her Tab
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 01:53 PM

Package is still there. TheSilentOne told me it was from Germany, not Asia. I never got near enough to chek parcel labels. Delivered by private courier.   Smell in vestibule has been neutralised. Not so much in flat, so all windows open. I don't care how cold it is. Tomorrow supposed to be nice so as much as I can hang on lines out in fresh air and sun I will do. The coats that are hanging in our front hall first, then the bedding and pillows.

There is a note on the bag that states parcel for flat (#). I am going to put an additional note on bag explaining that it should not be opened indoors as it smells as if something is rotten inside the parcel. If still there when we get home from work Monday, I will call the police.

The resident of that flat has title of Dr. And I know he travels quite a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:00 PM

A basketball is about the size of a human head, right ?

"About two time size of basketball"

2 ???

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Henry Krinkle
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:06 PM

Two heads are better than one.
=(:-( D)

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:10 PM

I would have a hard time not wantin' to find out what was in that package. We Chimps are very curious. Still, the bad smell would be a definite problem. I think what I would do is pay a Baboon to take that package over to the park or some back alley, and open it to find out what's in there, then tell me. Baboons will do just about anything for a few bucks.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 02:17 PM

Cordially inviting Mr. Chongo Chimp and one of his baboon lackeys to come for a visit. Hope you both like tea.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 03:22 PM

"UK local authorities don't have Public Health departments. Try Environmental Health instead."

Nobody likes a clever shit. They used to be called 'Public Health' - I know because my ex-wife worked in one. And everybody here knew what we meant by 'Public Health'.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 03:31 PM

Suppose it is something your neighbor was expecting. He went away, it was delivered, and now it's rotting and causing a health hazard. Call the cops.

Suppose it is something your neighbor was not expecting -- say a gift package of leberwurst or blutwurst. It was delivered and now it's rotting and causing a health hazard. Let the cops deal with it.

I hope you're getting my drift here....

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 06:11 PM

This sounds horribly like the start of a horror film. 'The Head in The Bag' (or 'Two Heads In The Bag' as it's twice the size of a basketball) or 'The Phantom Stench'. Like many others, I'm very curious to know WHAT is in that bag.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 06:15 PM

Here our major delivery services insist on a phone number for sender and recipient..are there phone numbers if you want to check? Or it could be mischief of some sort so you might not want to call...

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 08:43 PM

I was talkin' to LH a few minutes ago. He said you should just re-address that package and send it on to Stephen Harper, the prime minister of Canada, at 24 Sussex Drive in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I guess he don't like Harper all that much for some reason.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Nov 12 - 09:30 PM

Carefully pick it up...carry it to your pressure cooker..and make stew. If it doesn't taste too good, give it to your mother-in-law!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 01:19 AM

Now that's out of left field!

What are the postal laws in the UK? If it was delivered and never picked up by the owner it seems to me you could ask the postal authorities to pick it up because it wasn't deliverable. A shipping company night not be willing, but a post office might be obligated to pick it up.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:22 AM

Environmental Health dept is closed at the weekend, (unless it's an emergency such as a chemical spill etc) so presumably you'd need to wait until tomorrow (Mon) before contacting them. Even if you decided to just chuck it in the nearest bin, it could constitute a health risk, depending on what it contains. If it's come from abroad, I'm surprised Customs and Excise allowed it through if it contains dodgy stuff. There should be a Customs slip stuck to it, stating what the contents are. If there isn't, I'd get in touch with the Old Bill.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Henry Krinkle
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:53 AM

Throw a What's In The Package party like the one we're having here. Someone will know.
=(:-( P)

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Mo the caller
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 05:15 AM

Reminds me of a short story by Jerome K Jerome(the author of 3 men in a boat), about a cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 08:55 AM

Pass the parcel?

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Irene M
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 01:05 PM

Jeeze. I really hope we find out what this is.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: topical tom
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 01:27 PM

This is obviously a matter for the police and Public Health. Please keep us informed as to what it is. In the meantime, stay away from it!

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:15 PM

The suspense is killing us, Va Tam! You MUST find out what is in that package.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:33 PM

Stilly River Sage: "Now that's out of left field!"



"Now that's out of left field!Love me love me love me I'm a liberal..." Ochs

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:42 PM

Send it to Australia for Nadine Dorries to eat.......

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:48 PM

Remember what happened when Pandora's Box was opened...

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 04:53 PM

My dear Watson, let us tackle this systematically. We need the following information:

• Do the labels specify a full sender address in Germany?
• If so, from a private person or a company?
• If it is from a company, does it specify or suggest a branch, e.g. Asian food?
• What do the other labels say?
• In what way does the bag look Asian? Modern or traditional? What country or area of Asia?
• Is the addressee a medical doctor? Do you know anything about his profession or occupation?
• What shape is "About two time size of basketball"? One on top of the other, or side-by-side?
• If one of the heads is the Doctor's, whose could the other be?
• Is there any connection to stuffed two-headed calves, allegedly on display in German museums?
• Does the Doctor look old enough to have some wartime connection to Germany? Bomber pilot? POW or warden of POWs?
• Could he be Doktor Mabuse?

Please tell us every detail, however seemingly unimportant. The Mudcat MasterMinds will solve the case swiftly and elementarily.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 05:06 PM

I don't know how things work in Great Britain, but...
I'd assume if Environmental Health got invovled, they'd have to contact the police to get into the person's flat. I don't know if they can open other people's mail, but neighbors certainly aren't supposed to.

Shipping perishable food products such as stinky-melon or Sardinian maggot cheese from one country to another without going through customs isn't supposed to happen.

I'd be more concerned about whether the neighbor is OK. I also hope we learn how this turns out.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 07:11 PM

A regiftting idea for Mudcat Secret Santa?

I'd wager a few Mud-folks could suggest of a few Mudcaters to whom it could be reposted :)

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: gnu
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 08:58 PM

I am not a curious type. I ingnore most anything that others find curious simply because I just don't feel the urge. BUT, I am on the edge of my seat on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 09:23 PM

hee hee hee wretching...

And beyond the pale! Barf INTO the pail, not beyond it!

Sorry. Dying to know contents.

Subject: RE: BS: This not a joke. Real problem
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 11 Nov 12 - 09:40 PM

Geezus! The Earth just shook here. Major tremor. What the hell could it have been?

Oh, wait. I think I know. Gnu just fell off the edge of his seat.

;-D Ook! Ook!

- Chongo