Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog (Bernard Bolan)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog (Bernard Bolan)
From: GUEST,Murray Scott
Date: 28 May 15 - 09:19 PM

Thank you Jim Dixon. As a come-lately to this blogsite I have listened many times to this song on the LP "The Liveliness of the Long Playing Bernard Boland" but now, having attained the age of 70, it evokes particular resonance with me. So I have committed to learning it for occasional camping trips and soirees where hopefully the brilliance of Bernard's tune and lyrics will shine through my scratchy delivery.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog (Bernard Bolan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Dec 12 - 09:53 PM

So a "middie" is very close to an imperial half-pint. Makes sense.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog (Bernard Bolan)
From: GUEST,Simon, Brisbane
Date: 20 Dec 12 - 09:02 PM

THanks Jim. Good effort. Just two minor quibbles. I think in chorus 3 "fluff and frig" should be "faff and frig". "Faff" being slang in England ( where Bernard is from) for " pointlessly wasting time, avoiding the task at hand".

And as for 'midi' in the same chorus, that's the NSW 'middie', a 285 millitre glass of beer. "Midi" of course being an electronics term. In fact I think the term 'middie' exists only in NSW. Its neighbouring states call the same measure a pot.

Subject: Lyr Add: CRUMPET AND GROG (Bernard Bolan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Dec 12 - 07:05 PM

Here's how I hear it. (I hope this saves you some trouble.) It's a fine song!


CRUMPET AND GROG
As sung by Bernard Bolan on "An Eccentric Collection" (found on YouTube)

In my illustrious family tree, there's one man stands supreme:
My granddad on my mother's side who died at ninety-three,
But he was fit and healthy on the day he passed away
When his motorcycle failed to take the bend at Watson's Bay.
Yes, granddad was a healthy man until the very last,
And some say he went better as the years went rolling past,
But if you asked him why this was, the color'd twinkle to his eye.
He'd dig his elbow in your ribs and thus he'd make reply:

"You've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to see a new and better day."
That was granddad's motto:
Remember to get blotto
And a little bit of what-ho every day.
It's fine if you've got money
In this land of milk and honey,
But you're better off with whiskey and a wife,
''Cause you've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to live a long and happy life.

I remember granddad's funeral on that sunny April day,
With a hundred scaly relatives to see him laid away.
Festooned aunties sniffed and sneezed and tried to shed a tear,
While his old pals from the R. S. L. rolled up to lift the beer,
And with his boozing mates who had turned up to see him go,
There were thirty-six young ladies there whom no one seemed to know,
And as the preacher raised his eyes and prayed for granddad's soul,
His boozing mates and the girls all smiled and an voice came from the hole:

You've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to see a new and better day,
For remember, kith and kin,
Just a little drop of gin
And a little spot of sin to end the day.
Just grab yourselves a whiskey
And a filly feeling frisky.
Don't you waste your time just dabbing at your tears,
'Cause you've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to live for many, many years.

Well, until she'd heard his final words, my granddad's sister Gert
Had lived a life of chastity with ne'er so much as a flirt.
The model, too, of temperance, she never touched a drop,
But the day of granddad's funeral put all that to a stop.
She slipped out from the boiled-ham tea, went upon the town,
Came back hours later singing "Knees Up, Mother Brown,"
But what has really shocked her friends within the last few weeks:
She's started buying magazines on sexual techniques.

'Cause you've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to see a new and better day.
No time to fluff and frig,
Grab the nearest glass and swig,
And a little bit of jig; a jig's okay.
Hey, come on, girls, be like Gertie,
'Cause it's fun; it isn't dirty,
And there's nothing like a midi and a man,
'Cause you've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to live your full allotted span.

Well, I wished that granddad's final words forevermore could stand,
And his brave new philosophy could sweep throughout the land.
Each dear old thing a glass would ring and pop another cork,
Whilst every babe would learn to woo before he learned to walk.
An endless sea of bonhomie would travel o'er the earth
With every man and woman giving all that they were worth,
And then I know that every soul a hundred years would log,
Because he'd had his crumpet and a little bit of grog.

You've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog
If you want to see a new and better day.
That's what granddad taught:
Just a little glass of port
And a little bit of naughty every day.
Well, it's fine if you've got wealth,
But you'll never buy good health,
For health, my friend, will only come one way:
You've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog,
If you want to see a new and better day.
You've got to have your crumpet and a little bit of grog,
If you want to see a new and better day.

Subject: Bob Bolton !! lyrics query ?
From: GUEST,GUEST.guest
Date: 19 Dec 12 - 10:57 PM

Hello again Bob _ I've listened to the song on Youtube, and transcribed it. Looking forward to singing it to a bunch of non-folkies on saturday night. BUt there are a couple of lines which I can't hear 'right well'.

Firstly, verse 2 line 3 -is it "festooned aunties sniffed and sneezed" ?
And secondly, in the last verse, line 3- is it " each dear old thing a glass would bring .." ?

Once I've got those cleared up, I'll put it up here. Too good a song to lose to posterity.

Thanks, Simon in Brisbane

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: GUEST,999
Date: 19 Dec 12 - 02:20 PM

Forgot to put my 'name' in the post. I'm guest #2. (This is starting to sound like an episode of Maxwell Smart.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 19 Dec 12 - 12:19 AM

GUEST,guest#1,

Fair enough ... Enjoy!

Bernard's always good value.

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: GUEST,guest #1
Date: 18 Dec 12 - 11:30 PM

Thanks Bob, I've got it now. And thank you GUEST.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 18 Dec 12 - 10:38 PM

G'day GUEST.guest ... & GUEST...

I don't know if I have that little gem, by my pommie mate Bernard (.. all right ... he did have the sense to shift to Australia some 35 or so years ago ...) but I'll check my record "system" when I get home ...

Regard(les)s,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 12 - 12:24 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PLYqQOLAnY

In the event no one has the lyrics to hand you can get them there.

Subject: Lyr Req: Crumpet and Grog
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 18 Dec 12 - 09:26 AM

Very funny song by Aussie Bernard Bolan. I want to sing this