Lyr Add: It's Not the Hair You're Born With

Subject: Lyr Add: It's Not the Hair You're Born With
From: GUEST,Simon, Brisbane
Date: 20 Dec 12 - 12:20 PM

I almost cringe to add this, which was inspired by Si Kahn's great song " It's Not Just What You're Born With". But it's not a parody, just a lexical tangent. I've met Si, and he seemed to have a good sense of humour. I trust he wouldn't take this the wrong way. There are a couple of Aussie references in here, which may perplex those from other places.

IT'S NOT THE HAIR YOU'RE BORN WITH

You must know someone like him, pot-bellied, stunted, mean,
Body like a walrus, mind not sharp nor keen
Sideburns like 2 feral hedges, twisted, messy, mad
When he resorts to combovers, and it all gets very sad .

It's not the hair you're born with, it's when you loose your hair
It's not how much grows on your face, if your scalp is mostly bare
Not the hair transplants you dream of, that you just can't afford
It's how closely you can shave it so the bald spot goes ignored

In all those youthful happy snaps, you looked virile, hirsute
Wearing paisley shirts, purple flares and platform heels to boot
What use is Hair 2000, it's hair that maketh man
So you splash on sexy aftershave, as much as you can stand

For what's the use of Brylcreem , what's there left to save ?
What good's the finest hair oil, if there's nothing left to shave ,
What good's Advanced Hair Studios, Greg Matthews and Shane Warne
May well have got their hair back, but yours is too far gone

What's the use of a few long strands combed from left to right
If a blotchy, purpling, pimpled pate is all that they highlight
I suppose there's always toupees now, but you'd look like Elton John
Accept you're challenged follically, shave off what's left, move on

Cos it's not how many products you smear upon the dome
It's more about what you remove with a Number 2 comb
What's sprouting from your ears and nose is most of what remains
It's not the hair you're born with, it's how much you can retain