BS: Tips for spotting bad movies

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: EBarnacle
Date: 18 Jan 13 - 10:20 AM

Note that the ads for the latest Bond movie are very heavily promoted as beer ads. Talk about product placement!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Genie
Date: 18 Jan 13 - 07:02 AM

If you see a preview for a comedy and the scenes/gags shown aren't really ROFL hilarious, it's a good bet that the movie itself won't be very funny.

If the previews for an action movie basically amount to a series of explosions, fast car chases, and/or scenes of blood and guts, there probably won't be a lot more substance to the movie than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 18 Jan 13 - 05:03 AM

What an interesting idea Jennie! One could combine several genres in a catch-all film. Sense and Sawability? The Sound of Screaming? Les Thoroughly Miserables? Vlad and Lassie Come Home? Endless possibilites.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 13 - 12:03 AM

Yes, they very frequently are Fabio...or his doppelganger. What a job, eh? ;-) Apparently a happy ending is obligatory for the romance novel. I suppose that's a good thing. One movie that went into this whole theme in a most amusing and entertaining fashion was "Romancing the Stone".

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 10:30 PM

Eliza, there is obviously an untapped market here! How about a romantic story with the bodices being ripped by chainsaws? No blood, just a tasteful fabric tear or two showing a slight amount of cleavage and/or thigh.

LH, i think the bloke on the book covers was called Fabio .

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 05:20 PM

Heh! Heh! Yes, "bodice-rippers"! Exactly. The used bookstores here usually devote an entire wall to them.

Well, far be it from me to deprive you of your guilty pleasures, Eliza. I quite agree that those books are FAR preferable to any number of minutes spent watching horrible movies about chainsaw-wielding maniacs. In fact, I salute your good sense in opting for the romance novel over the slasher film.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 04:36 PM

LH, your description of a baaaad book actually describes quite a few of my favourite books I keep on my shelf. I call them bodice rippers, very romantic and sexy, no violence, gorgeous balls (not the hero, I mean dances in long dresses) stately homes and titled folk with servants. What could be more delightful? Far better than four minutes with Mr Jigsaw the girl-slicer!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 12:36 PM

LOL!!!!!!!! Oh, yes indeed! Titles are a good clue. How about "Dumb and Dumber-er" or "Grumpier Old Men"?

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 12:29 PM

I think that you can, at least to some degree, spot good and bad movies by their titles, or, at least, tell whether it is something you'll enjoy.

"Bad Teacher", "The 40 Year Old Virgin", and "Abraham Lincoln,Vampire Hunter" give you a sense that you're in for a different sort of experience than, say, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower".

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 12:09 PM

It doesn't stop there! If the cover has a muscular individual from the 17-1800's, his shirt partially open to reveal his bursting chest and arm muscles, his jet black hair tousled in the wind, and a breathless, busty women with a low cut (possibly torn) dress swooning in his arms...

It's a really baaaaad book!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 10:57 AM

I'm obviously rubbish at spotting a bad film, but I do know how to spot a bad book. They're the ones with heavily-embossed gold letters on the front cover.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 10:02 AM

"in these times one is usually judged and remembered for his/her worst deed"

Yes! That's exactly what happened to Jack the Ripper. Poor fellow. And Charles Manson too. It's tragic, when you think about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Wesley S
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 08:16 AM

"The "must-see" ________ { Action thriller/Comedy/Romance} of the year"

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 07:18 AM

Guest stim, thank you very much for finding Cinema City. I've been there once or twice years ago, but had completely forgotten its existence. They do have some interesting arty films, and the building is Peter Suckling Hall, an ancient merchant's house with beams and plaster, fantastic venue. Thanks again!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 04:58 AM

Just about any movie which has more action than plot.

Any movie which purports to be telling the story of a true historical event. It seldom does.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 04:20 AM

Little Hawk, granted P Jackson has done and produced some great stuff, but what he has done to The Hobbit is pure mercenary sacrilege. He should be very ashamed. Also in these times one is usually judged and remembered for his/her worst deed.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 12:18 AM

Any movie that's remake of an earlier work by a very good actor.
Any movie that is XYZ 2 or later.
The James Bond movies after the original series.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 05:33 PM

I found a UK site called "Pictures Houses" that seems to list a lot of what we call "Indy" and art films. There seems to be a theater called "Cinema City" in Norwich which shows these films. "Django Unchained" is there, but the rest of the stuff looks OK. "Les Miz" is there. You probably know about it already, I just googled.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 01:08 PM

Thank you stim, you're right, such horror stuff is enough to give me the Screaming Abdabs. We just wanted any film in the big multi-screen cinema in Norwich. This one was 'Saw 5', it seemed to be about a man who sawed through a lassie in a shop window, but after he'd got halfway across her body we fled. The lady at the ticket desk called us over and said, "I didn't think you two would stand it. Would you like your money back?" Ever so kind of her, so she credited my card. She told us people had been sick and fainted on previous showings. We shook all the way home on the bus. I've never seen my husband look so pale, he's normally jet black! I like things such as The Sound of Music, Oliver, Fiddler on the Roof etc. Actually, even that cinema advert with a huge branding iron burning frightens me to death!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 01:00 PM

I am sincerely worried about you, Eliza. The movies you are watching are not good for you. Maybe we can make a list of films that are "Eliza-Friendly". Great, funny movie with no violence, "My Sister's Sister". Also, "Moonrise Kingdom".

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 12:47 PM

You went to see that stupid chainsaw massacre movie? Why???

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 12:32 PM

Any film with the word 'Saw' in the title. You will have terrible nightmares, be a bag of nerves for days and be scarred for life. We sat for four minutes and had to run out. My black husband went white.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: olddude
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 11:12 AM

Any movie with Ben Stiller in it for sure

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 11:09 AM

Come to think of it, what's the big deal lately about 3D? I think it's a pointless distraction that does nothing to improve a movie, and it also results in darkening the look of the whole film, making it less visually effective. I saw Avatar once without 3D, once with 3D. I liked it considerably better without. If I can view any movie without the 3D effect, I will.

Virginia Tam - Okay, you were offended by "The Hobbit". Fine. But before you decide to go and punch Peter Jackson, keep in mind that without him we airplane hobbyists would not have Wingnut Wings, the finest series of model aircraft of WWI ever seen in history, and ever likely TO be seen! They are amazing kits. And they would never have happened without Peter Jackson's singleminded devotion to the history of WWI aircraft. The man ought to be knighted!

Wingnut Wings

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 11:03 AM

The word "heartwarming" appears on the DVD cover followed by some reviewer or periodical's name. It's usually an excerpt from a larger review and is taken out of context. The actual quote in a review might well have been, "This movie vainly attempts to be heartwarming, but only succeeds at being mushy and insipid."

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 10:34 AM

Tracy liked "Dick Tracy" !

Avoid any new fangled thing like smelly vision

It will be a stinker!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 09:31 AM

Of course you are correct Nigel, but they should come with a warning, * historicly, a load of bollocks *

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Wesley S
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 08:42 AM

It's easy to spot a bad film. If the trailer shows the hero walking away from a huge explosion and he doesn't flinch - it's a stinker.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 08:32 AM

Spotting a bad movie - on a personal level - is easy!
The trick is to be able to work out exactly why it is bad!
That, again, can be a tricky thing based on personal interests/prejudices.
I remember saying to someone that I really like "Waterworld" , and being told that it was just another boring post-apocalyptical movie.
Well, my response that was that every movie is basically the repeat of a previous theme/storyline ( be it gangster, love-story,western, sc-fi) but that "Waterworld" was the first post-apoc movie set on water! Breathtakingly so, I felt!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Tam's daughter
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 08:26 AM

hey mom thanks for the movie idea.. singing Dick Tracey takes over New Zealand...

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 08:21 AM

From: Dave Hanson - PM
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 04:24 AM
Any USA film about British historical events will be a bad film.
In fact any USA film about any historical events will be a bad film.
Dave H
An American film about British history will not necessarily be a bad film.
If you're looking for entertainment it could be great.
Of course, if you're looking for historical accuracy ...

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 04:53 AM

Hey....  I   liked Dick Tracy.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 04:27 AM

Any film described as ' bittersweet ' or ' caper movie ' will be bad.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 04:24 AM

Any USA film about British historical events will be a bad film.

In fact any USA film about any historical events will be a bad film.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 04:21 AM

Wo my daughter who posted above, be careful who you make disparaging remarks about in any thread in which Little Hawk (or one of his alter egos) has posted or is likely to post. There are Shatner fans about.

The Hobbit. I felt sullied by it and if I ever meet Peter Jackson, Phillipa Boyens or any other of the Wingnuts I will punch, him, her, them in the face.

Tip for spotting it would be bad. Use your imagination about what must be done to stretch such a short book into 3 separate feature length films. If Christopher Tolkien was offended by Lord of the Rings, then his Daddy is positively spinning in his grave and plotting the overthrow of New Zealand after this travesty.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Fossil
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 03:01 AM

Yes, but was there a car chase? Thought not. I rest my case m'lud.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: DMcG
Date: 16 Jan 13 - 02:50 AM

And if stars, or has Meryl Streep anywhere near it, go straight to bed

And just to prove there are always exceptions, "Doubt" has a moment with one of the best acting performances I've ever seen. Meryl Streep is having an argument with someone and with just slight changes of facial expression makes it clear everything is over and the argument will not be pursued: she has decided. It lasts, oh, 1 second, so its easy to miss.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 11:13 PM

I checked, Little Hawk, and it turns out that "Dick Tracy" did quite well, grossing nearly $200 million world wide. I had the impression at the time that it didn't do well, but apparently audiences liked it better than critics. I liked the Sondheim songs.

My little crew watched "Tintin", which they had been looking forward to, and though they enjoyed it, didn't want to see it again. Comics, even the serious ones, tend to have a little element of satire and even self-parody in them. It's what makes them comics. When they get translated to the big screen, it can get jumbled--either too much or too little. For me,"Dick Tracy" was a bit too self-conscious, "Tin-Tin" maybe not enough. Don't even get me started on the "Green Lantern"....

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 10:43 PM

I absolutely loved Dick Tracy, Stim. It was much too unusual to suit most moviegoers, but I thought it was great. Matter of fact, it made Dick Tracy a lot more human and likeable than he ever was in the comic strip, thereby improving considerably on the original as far as I was concerned. There was something very cold (and rather sadistic) about that comic strip, but the movie had genuine warmth throughout, despite the dark theme of the crime-ridden city. The warmth was conveyed through the incredibly idealistic Tracy, through his similarly idealistic girlfriend, through The Kid, and even through Breathless Mahoney. It wasn't meant to be realistic at all, obviously, it was meant to BE a stylized comic book adventure...put onscreen. As such, I bet 90% of the modern movie audience had no idea how to relate to it, thus it was guaranteed not to do very well at the box office.

For similar reasons "Howard the Duck" proved incomprehensible to mainstream America....but having greatly enjoyed reading the satirical comic books on which the movie was based, I loved that one too. Even went back to see it a 2nd time at the theatre. I was probably the only person in this entire area to do that. I thought it was a welldone recreation of Howard's bizarre story.

One needs some familiarity with and affection for the original concept to appreciate it in the form of a movie. Without that familiarity, people just don't get it.

The recent "Tintin" was also just marvelous. Again....actually even better than the original comic, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: RangerSteve
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 08:51 PM

If the TV ads say "funniest movie of the year" and it's only January, it's probably a bad movie, Likewise, if the ads say things like "though provoking" "You'll stand up and cheer" but the sources are not identified. And if the sources are given, but they're an insignificant paper like the Woonsocket Pennysaver, it's a bad movie.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 07:51 PM

So, the rumors are true, Chongo! Someone actually liked "Dick Tracy".

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Fossil
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 07:32 PM

And if stars, or has Meryl Streep anywhere near it, go straight to bed and pull the covers over your head until, it's over...

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 07:21 PM

If the movie stars Madonna, or someone dressed like Madonna, you haven't got a prayer...

LOL

"Yeah? I really liked her part as Breathless Mahoney in the Dick Tracy film. "

The exception that proves the rule?

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 05:38 PM

Yeah? I really liked her part as Breathless Mahoney in the Dick Tracy film.

- Chongo Chimp

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 05:34 PM

If the movie is about how the outcome of a historical event was determined by a character you've never heard of before, including (but not limited to) a game show producer, a cartoon mouse, or a horse, find another.

If a musical movie is a cartoon, but features only the songs of Elton John, take the kids skating instead.

If a movie has 3 or more A-list actors in comic "cameo" roles, you should walk away. If it is John Goodman, you should run.

If it is a film that exposes social hypocrisy in Sweden, buy an ABBA cd instead.

If the movie stars Madonna, or someone dressed like Madonna, you haven't got a prayer...

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Tam's daughter
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 05:05 PM

Lincoln vs Andre the giant! (yes i know he is dead) thats whats gonna sell the movie but they will be zombies

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 05:01 PM

We haven't yet seen a movie where a time-teleported Abe Lincoln joins the WWF and battles its "heavies" to restore justice and freedom to the world of modern wrestling. He would enter the arena wearing an Uncle Sam costume and carrying a large ax, to the thunderous strains of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Hopefully, we never shall see this movie!

Another tip: ANY movie with Adam Sandler in it is guaranteed to suck! (vampire films even moreso, but that goes without saying)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 05:00 PM

Whenever a reviewer says it's an "important film" I know it's a stinker.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:54 PM

If historical figures are pitted against vampires, zombies or any other horror movie cliche.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Tam's daughter
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:50 PM

i would think vampire babies would be a interesting concept.. just not sparkling vampire babies

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:47 PM

If vampires have babies....

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: GUEST,Tam's daughter
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:46 PM

another tip is that if it is a musical and has to men doing variations of will shatner like singing.. run .. run at the speed of a baby cheetah at supper time

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:45 PM

I'm not sure I agree about the musical numbers, but I think you're right on the mark when it comes to the action films.

Tip 3: If it's got Jennifer Aniston in it, it will be either mediocre or downright awful. That's not her fault, particularly, by the way...she can't help it that she keeps getting cast in lousy movies.

Tip 4: If Roland Emmerich had anything to do with it, it will be absolutely bloody awful and loaded with excessive CGI and little else worth mentioning! Save your money. Don't even rent it from the corner store 6 months later, cos it won't be worth the $5 or the time.

Tip 5: If it's about teenagers, there's a 49 out of 50 chance that it won't be worth watching. The very rare 50th chance can be surprisingly good. Wait for it, but don't hold your breath.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:39 PM

If its free on TV, less than 6 months after its initial release.

Subject: BS: Tips for spotting bad movies
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jan 13 - 04:29 PM

The current "bad films" thread got me to thinking. With some forethought, we can avoid these dogs.

Tip 1: If musical numbers are used to advance plot or character, it needs to stay on Broadway, unless it is a cartoon.

Tip 2: If it stars an action hero other than Harrison Ford who is over 60, and is directed by anyone but Speilberg it is a bad movie.