BS: Forgotten to clean??

Subject: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 04:41 PM

Always keep several "Get Well Soon" cards on your mantelpiece - when uninvited guests arrive they'll think you've been too ill to clean!!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 05:55 PM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 06:19 PM

What a great idea!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,999
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 06:23 PM

If anyone's got anything rude to say about your place, throw 'em the fu#k out!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 06:23 PM

heh heh :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 06:24 PM

oops, my comment was to the original post!!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Bert
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 09:38 PM

Nice one.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 09:40 PM

Most likely any rude comment wouldn't be made to you but to each other after they left.   I like the cards idea. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 10:06 PM

Why on earth worry?

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: olddude
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 10:59 PM

Good Idea, I like to keep bed sheets handy and just toss them over the clutter, people think I paint a lot :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 04:29 AM

Love it Bonzo.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 06:50 AM

Brilliant!

So... cards AND sheets and they may offer to help paint. Two birds with one ruse.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 10:30 AM

That'll explain the two day stubble as well. Well it will for men anyway...

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 05:47 PM

Another suggestion: throw straight pins around, and people will think you've been sewing.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Don Firth
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 06:09 PM

Barbara has cleaning fits fairly often, but--wotthehell!--everybody knows I'm a slob!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 06:32 PM

Pete... thanks... brb.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 06:43 PM

People who complain about my housekeeping skills are not ALLOWED back. Happened once. I am tolerant of observations of cat hair, dust balls, etc. But if "My house made you sick", stay the fuck away.
Someone learned a harsh lesson once.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 08:33 PM

If anyone complains about your housekeeping, send them to my place. Then they will know what poor housekeeping (or total lack of it) is!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 07:22 AM

I just don't like housework - if I do it the mess just comes back a couple of days later, anyway.

I work on the basis that the people who matter in my life will not be bothered because Martha Stewart has never lived here and those who bother about that kind of thing aren't really my type of people.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:22 AM

Martha has staff.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 12:47 PM

If visitors complain about your house-keeping, give them a broom and mop and tell them to get busy.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 01:06 PM

Way up in this thread, McGrath said "why on earth worry?"
If your abode was squeaky chean, those same people would whisper about your "cleanliness obsession."

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:23 PM

As soon as I get off the Internet (cf. "as soon as this pub closes"), I will sweep & mop the kitchen & bathroom.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Midchuck
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:31 PM

Another trick, if your house obviously needs painting, is to put a ladder up on the most visible side, and leave it there. This proves that you're working on it.

Unless, of course, you have neighbor kids who'd climb up and fall off, or you live in an area with a lot of unlawful entry types...

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 09:02 PM

Sayyyy... that might be fun with the unlawful types. Wait until they get on the roof and then remove the ladder.

Call the cops? Noooo. Let em jump.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 09:28 AM

Around the end of WWII there were lots of "retired military" persons writing memoirs and a couple of the momentarily popular writers were former "batmen" who served as personal attendants to high ranking officers.

A couple of them passed on the tip that when pressed for time they carefully polished their officer's "pocket change" and laid it out neatly. When the officer saw that "fastidious attention to detail" they could get by with almost anything, with one guy saying his officer once commented on the coins and didn't notice there was still mud on his boots when he put them on.

Misdirection and diversion of attention are the keys (?).

John

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 02:36 AM

I have a 1 bedroom apartment & don't have enough storage for the interests I have. Plus I HATE CLEANING.

Lots of useful things have to live on the floor - they starts in neat piles (aka mountain ranges) then becomes lava flows.

I just step around it!

Sometimes I have to clean up so I have a place for the visitor chair (aka. storage surface) so almost everything on the floor, & everything on the table & chair ends up on my bed - until the guest leaves.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 04:05 AM

Unless you have visitors with unusual experience who might be able to tell the difference, a dust bunny looks enough like a hairball that you can just "blame the cat" for almost any little untidiness.

To reinforce the explanation, grabbing a fly-swatter and attacking a piece of fluff, followed by "I thought I saw it move" should get the idea across.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 10:10 AM

Anybody got a spare cat?

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 02:40 PM

I do hope, though, that "forgotten to clean" here refers to household surfaces rather than body parts.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 04:12 PM

You mean you don't (gasp) even polish the guitars?

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 04:26 PM

JiK... "I thought I saw it move"

Hahahahahaaa!

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: GUEST,van
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 04:56 PM

I have a fridge magnet: "Why should I tidy the house when the world is such a mess."

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 06:18 PM

Or, to put it this way...

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 09:18 PM

Right! Love that song and Lou and Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Gurney
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 11:57 PM

A once friend had a piece of original artwork on the wall, all paisley and whorls and dots.
You had to study it quite closely to read the message.
'Fuck Housework.'
Wish I'd asked for a photocopy.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: ragdall
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 03:14 AM

Gurney,
Was it like this?
http://img1.etsystatic.com/001/1/7056584/il_570xN.393675349_88et.jpg

I've considered making this sign:
If my cleaning isn't up to your standards, please let me know?
I'll be happy to provide you with cleaning products for you to use to make the needed improvements.

rags

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 04:42 AM

I like the Quintin Crisp theory, ' never dust, after it reaches a certain level it never gets any worse '

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Gurney
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 02:50 PM

Sort of drifts in the corner, eh, Dave? I believe that I saw him propound the theory on TV, many years ago.

Ragdall, no, it was more like one of those artworks that you have to stare at until your eyes reach the right focal length/depth, and then suddenly you can see it.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 03:10 PM

It's a good thing I don't get high winds in my house. The snowblower would play hell with the hardwood floors.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 03:31 AM

"My idea of housework is to sweep the floor with a glance"

On an apron i bought for Herself.

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: jonm
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 07:33 AM

As she tells it, shortly after my mother married (1960), her mother-in-law came to call and freely referred to "inspecting" her housekeeping skills. A bit of a battleaxe, my grandma.

After she had gone, my mother found a penny had been left on one of the pelmets in the living room. A pelmet is like a box which covers the top of the curtains.

My mother replaced it with two ha'pennies.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Becca72
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 11:32 AM

My brain just did it's own thread title combo and I saw this title and the thread below it as "Forgot to clean yourself??" Yeesh

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 11:38 AM

SOme people clean up because they want an orderly playing field in which to make messes. It's part of the game, like washing dishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Forgotten to clean??
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 03:52 PM

"My mother replaced it with two ha'pennies."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE! That's a hoot and a half!!!