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BS: Militant atheism has become a religion

Dave the Gnome 01 Jul 13 - 04:03 PM
GUEST,Musket sans bingo calling 01 Jul 13 - 06:28 PM
Steve Shaw 01 Jul 13 - 06:57 PM
Steve Shaw 01 Jul 13 - 08:32 PM
Dave the Gnome 02 Jul 13 - 02:55 AM
GUEST,Musket sans real instruments 02 Jul 13 - 04:16 AM
Dave the Gnome 02 Jul 13 - 06:38 AM
Steve Shaw 02 Jul 13 - 07:43 PM
Steve Shaw 02 Jul 13 - 08:22 PM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 03:06 AM
MGM·Lion 03 Jul 13 - 03:56 AM
GUEST,Musket sans Clapton 03 Jul 13 - 04:44 AM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 05:24 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 06:09 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 06:10 AM
MGM·Lion 03 Jul 13 - 06:26 AM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 07:50 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 08:09 AM
GUEST,Musket sans pickled eggs 03 Jul 13 - 09:19 AM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 09:34 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 10:40 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 10:42 AM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 10:56 AM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,Musket mellow 03 Jul 13 - 12:58 PM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 02:47 PM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 02:54 PM
Jack the Sailor 03 Jul 13 - 03:09 PM
MGM·Lion 03 Jul 13 - 03:14 PM
GUEST,Musket between courses 03 Jul 13 - 04:09 PM
Dave the Gnome 03 Jul 13 - 05:29 PM
Steve Shaw 03 Jul 13 - 07:38 PM
GUEST,Musket sans Clapton 04 Jul 13 - 02:50 AM
Dave the Gnome 04 Jul 13 - 02:54 AM
GUEST,Musket being business like 04 Jul 13 - 12:09 PM
GUEST,concerened 04 Jul 13 - 03:39 PM
Steve Shaw 04 Jul 13 - 03:55 PM
Dave the Gnome 04 Jul 13 - 03:58 PM
Dave the Gnome 05 Jul 13 - 08:53 AM
Steve Shaw 05 Jul 13 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,Musket sans Clapton 05 Jul 13 - 12:39 PM
Steve Shaw 05 Jul 13 - 01:07 PM
Dave the Gnome 05 Jul 13 - 03:40 PM
Steve Shaw 06 Jul 13 - 07:13 AM
Musket 06 Jul 13 - 08:38 AM
Steve Shaw 06 Jul 13 - 08:56 AM
GUEST,Musket sans cash 06 Jul 13 - 02:02 PM
Steve Shaw 06 Jul 13 - 07:29 PM
GUEST,concerened 07 Jul 13 - 07:14 AM
Musket 07 Jul 13 - 07:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 04:03 PM

Page 24! Do I get a prize or 100 years off my time in purgatory or something?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans bingo calling
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 06:28 PM

Less than 48 hours to your calling Dave.

Br brave.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 06:57 PM

Shit Dave, whaddya mean, "accordion practice on Wednesday"? Oh my ball lightning! Musket, did we say anything about accordion players (or, as pete would say, accordionists)? Are we keeping this friggin' thing pure or not? Keep calm: I'll see you in Sheffield on Wednesday at 7. I'll shout the numbers if you can handle the balls. Christ, talk about one man doing the jobs of two men. Dave, I seriously want to see the rest of your CV before we take this thing any further. I feel that my trusting nature has been taken advantage of on this one. Accordion practice my arse. Musket, there are engineering works on the line between Cornwall and the north. Can you track me down a chariot?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 08:32 PM

Musket, I know we know everything, but can you give me the bingo hall postcode for my satnav? Belt 'n' braces an' all that, yeah?

Have we got a scheme for petrol money by the way? I'm not a frigging charitable institution, you know!





Am I?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 02:55 AM

Damn! I didn't think I would be found out so early. Should have known better, dealing with deities and all that.

Rest of my 2CV is in the scrapyard, I'm afraid. Piston broke. I have a Ford now, play accordion, guitar, concertina and tin whistle - All very badly. Hence the need for practice.

Could you just give me some penance? Maybe having to drink 6 pints of Watneys Red Barrel? Or eat at a Little Chef?

Mea Culpa. Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Culpa

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans real instruments
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 04:16 AM

Careful Steve.. we all seeing all hearing types have to be consistent.

Is this a good time for your confession re mouth organs?

Bingo. . Err the first one, I shall be with you in spirits cos I am still on my hols in Southwold till the end of the week.

Pilgrimage to Adnams brewery tomorrow.

Sheffield doesn't need satnav.   Follow the star to the north and there it shall rest over the area known as S6, ,hallowed turf.   If you get it wrong and end up near Bramall Lane, you will know you are lost as the pigeons around that end of the city fly upside down.

Nothing worth shitting on.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 06:38 AM

Mind you, on reflection, 6 pints of Watneys Red Barrel would be a cruel and unusual punishment. Probably banned under the Geneva convention. I'll do my time cleaning the bingo hall in compression stockings instead.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 07:43 PM

...play accordion, guitar, concertina and tin whistle - All very badly. Hence the need for practice.

Well, Dave (and I speak here ex cathedra, though I have to admit that the "cathedra" in question was once a polytechnic), you are partially redeemed as, uniquely among accordion players, you admit that you are very bad on it. I will console you with the unassailable fact that so is every other bloody accordion player on the planet. At least you didn't have bodhrans on your list. We need every goat we can lay our hands on for sacrifices (virgins cost money) and I'm thinking of making the goat our sacred animal, immune from being skinned, alive or dead. You see? I'm ingeniously combining religious ritual with doing the world a bloody big favour! What other hands-on, modern-minded Messiah do you know who works with such aplomb! Facing the truth about your accordion deficit is half the battle. The other half is to throw the accordion away. There are jokes involving accordion and skips, but as the Messiah I naturally have a bottomless well of original jokes and puns so I won't recycle the one about perfect pitch. Or I suppose you could raise a few quid on eBay with it which means we can buy more bingo cards and custard creams. Let me put it this way: I will be very disappointed with you indeed (and you would be correct, and wise, to read that as a scarily messianic euphemism) if I didn't see you, balls in hand, ready to call at the bingo in less than 24 hours. As I wisely stated before, accordion practice my arse. You copping out for "accordion practice" is one thing, but now Musket has abandoned me to man the bingo almost alone (completely alone if Swollox phones in), and it wasn't even my bloody idea. Musket, at least have the good grace to apprise me of the location of the bingo cards and those stubby pens we nicked from Argos. And the custard creams, fer chrissake. This is a crisis! Where's the key to the cupboard?

And don't think I didn't notice your little swipe at the harmonica. I hope you're not getting messianically jealous. The harmonica is a form of pure pocket entertainment. There is another form, but I expect Wacko'll tell you all about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 08:22 PM

Mind you, on reflection, 6 pints of Watneys Red Barrel would be a cruel and unusual punishment.

Indeed, but at least you wouldn't be pissed.

I'm struggling here. I've just realised that I don't actually know what bingo is. Shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:06 AM

Hey - It was your fellow Messiah that brought up gob-irons. But you would know that of course. I also play those badly as well... And you could add Mandolin to the list of things I can make people cringe with. You are quite right about the bodhran. They say try everything but Morris dancing and incest but, seeing as I have been known to run round in circles waving white hankies (in my pre revelation days of course) I decided to miss out the Irish boom box instead.

Does having balls in hand, ready to call bingo, involve physically being in Sheffield or, with the powers vested in me, am I allowed to perform a bit of astral traveling?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:56 AM

There must be a thesis topic for an ambitious student in one of those in-faculties of non-subjects in one of the 'new' universities, on the precise point at which any thread which was once worth reading degenerates into a series of unfunny facetiously laboured non-points exchanged by a mini-coterie of self-satisfied self-abusers. (Some of my best friends...)

Such researchers should be immediately directed to this one as an xtra-fine instance.

I am, once again, aware that you do not wish to know that.

So I shall once again kindly leave the stage.

☺〠☺~M~☺〠☺


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans Clapton
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 04:44 AM

Blasphemy, pure unadulterated blasphemy.   Your reasoned logic will get you nowhere in faith matters Michael. ...



Argos pens? Bollocks.   You have been a southern softy too long. . The true bingonian uses a thick stubby highlighter, avaliable from Eastgate market, Ingoldmells Lincs. Next to the store selling fake viagra and steps for your static caravan.

Enjoy the bingo. I shall be having a somewhat more intellectually stimulating evening. You see, I have appointed myself chief nuncio to Mammon so shall be dining at The Great British Larder, one of the finest restaurants around. Being a sucker and representing suckers; not the same thing old chap. What?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 05:24 AM

Is it OK to be in a Charcuterie instead of mini-coterie? I am happy with a bit of self-satisfied self-abuse as long as I can get a good sausage...

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 06:09 AM

I like your style, Michael. We could definitely have you on board in some senior capacity. Not quite sure what as yet. Do you have access to a fancy-dress hire shop?

I'm working on a title for the thesis you suggest. I may have to shorten it eventually, but it goes something like "A method for both shutting up and taking the piss out of deluded eejits who try to accuse atheists of having a religion". I think we've proved the point quite well, not least because we're demonstrating that we can't even organise a bingo night, let alone set up a new instrument of mass oppression. Well, except that Musket appears to be able to organise a piss-up in a brewery...

By the way, Musket, Swollox has phoned in with the shits. She made the sandwiches on Sunday night but I might have to throw them away now. I don't think she's that hygienic to be honest. That leaves me on my own unless Dave butts out of accordion practice. I mean, shove t'brush up me arse and I'll sweep t'bloody floor while I'm at it...


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 06:10 AM

Is it OK to be in a Charcuterie instead of mini-coterie?

I don't care what you wear as long as you show up!


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 06:26 AM


G O D   O R    N O T H I N G


‎יהוה


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 07:50 AM

Is there an O and an F missing from the above?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 08:09 AM

Michael, naturally you'd be welcome as the third Trinity member. Thing is, we had sort of specified a woman for the role. Tokenism is one of our watchwords. However, as long as you have a good head of hair that can be permed, a relatively high-pitched voice and access to the fancy dress shop, we promise to give it thought. I don't suppose you can do a ton of sandwiches in a hurry, can you?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans pickled eggs
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 09:19 AM

You don't need tons of sandwiches, just a couple of loaves and fishes. This is fantasy don't forget, so we work by fantasy rules.

I have it on good authority that Betty Swollox only makes sandwiches with her right hand, using her left one to wipe her arse, as scriptures dictate.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 09:34 AM

I found some pickled eggs in cupboard the other day - Dated December 2011. Tried one and it was fine.

Have you ever tried feeding someone with a couple of loaves and fishes? I mean, fantasy it may be, but what about "I have a gluten intolerance" or "I'm a vegan" coupled with the impossibility of figuring out who ordered what, how much it was and who had four bottles of Blue Nun (I dunno anyone who would drink it - do you?) Anyway, raising from the dead, water into wine and the odd transubstantiation is peanuts compared to arranging a meal for more than 4. If we can manage that we will be fighting potential electrolytes off at the door.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 10:40 AM

You don't need tons of sandwiches, just a couple of loaves and fishes. This is fantasy don't forget, so we work by fantasy rules.

You can say that, but Dave the miracle man hasn't even perfected his wine-to-water one yet (I was there for his first run-through and the water tasted suspiciously like piss to me, and he fell off his bloody chair half way through the testing). And I refuse to eat fish butties without butter. It's OK for you being all can-do from Adnams brewery but we're struggling here. Can't get the staff and Swollox has been hogging the lav all morning. It bloody stinks in here and I can't find the key to the bingo cupboard. I've met messiahs like you before, you know.   

I have it on good authority that Betty Swollox only makes sandwiches with her right hand, using her left one to wipe her arse, as scriptures dictate.

Yeah but she picks her nose with her right hand. When I challenged her about it she said she wasn't gonna put her left hand anywhere near her nose because it stank of shite. I do have some slight doubts about her level of hygiene, I have to tell you. Jeez, there's a queue of biddies outside the bingo hall door already. Have we got any Werther's Originals?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 10:42 AM

...who had four bottles of Blue Nun (I dunno anyone who would drink it - do you?)

Yeah, me. Not quite enough for a whole evening but you don't notice the taste by the time you get to the third bottle. Or do we need it for communion wine? Can you make more from water?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 10:56 AM

My Astral self has just come back from the bingo hall. Bloomin' 'eck. You're right Messiah S. (1 and 2 was getting confusing so I am trying S & M. I have heard it can be fun)

It's bedlam out there. I tried to entertain the queue down with a bit of manifestation. One old biddy went cross eyed and fainted. Another ran off screaming about things beyond the grave and the rest saw it as an opportunity to try and get their ailments cured. I was lucky to get away with nothing worse than a bloody nose from a runaway bunion straighter and severe shock from the language.

Blimey. This here religion stuff can cause a right kerfuffle can't it. Wonder why no-one has noticed that before?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 12:42 PM

At least you're out there on crowd control. We're heroically managing things here whilst Musket is downing his ninth pint of Adnams. One of the biddies wants the bog but Swollox won't come out. She's groaning like mad in there. You'll have to call the numbers very loudly to drown her out. God, those big, rasping farts of hers are gonna have to stop, I tell you. Bloody women. Do NOT tell me you're still going to accordion practice. This is exactly how schisms start. Is it still 999 for the cops?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket mellow
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 12:58 PM

How's it going chaps?

Good good. Fight the good fight and all that. Blessed are the Brians.

So... As you seem to be managing without me, I shall head off for tonight's fine cuisine. Excellent brewery tour. Pretenders to the crown of Lord are nothing on Adnams when it comes to turning water into, well not wine but definitely beer...

Hic! Yer me besht mate, you are.. Hadaway & shite...........


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 02:47 PM

Then big rasping farts ARE the accordion practice. Betty went home an hour ago. Is it really that bad? Maybe I should take up the bodhran. Our spelling checker suggested Bodhidharma for bodhran - What the heck has a Buddhist monk got to do with it? Hope you guys are not riding on the back of someone else's philosophy?

I believe the number of the Cops is 666 but that could be from somewhere else.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 02:54 PM

Hey! Just read a bit more about Bodhidharma. Seems he founded the Shaolin Temple. Could be a handy bloke in a tight spot, grasshopper. Do we need a token Chinaman?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:09 PM

One thing you seem to have plenty of is tokin' Rastamen.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:14 PM

Sinners, the lot of you. Just wait till I get my Divine Hands on you ...

‎יהוה


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket between courses
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 04:09 PM

Just waiting for cheese board.

Mrs Musket called out for a worky type phone call so free to talk bollocks for a while.

See Steve? I told you Spunky would be interested. We need someone who can preach our gospel without sniggering or blushing.

A true believer is amongst us.

Praise be!

I



Hope Mrs Musket has a cold.   The samphire under my halibut combined with the chestnut sauce. ..   

Mind you, we priests can fart at will. Some dozy buggers will take it as a positive sign.

I love this religion lark.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 05:29 PM

Phew, that was tough. 4 and 5, 9 (C, Cmaj, G, Gmaj) Two fat ladies, Yes I do mean you! (G, Gmaj, F, Fmaj) All the 6's, 78 (A, Am, G, Gmaj)
Thanks for the miracle of making everyone deaf, Joint Messiahs. Hmmm. Going back to Jack's tokin... Joint Messiahs? Yes?

Gladys Over. Maybe she could be the token woman if Betty has a funny turn again?

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 07:38 PM

Divine hands my arse. If only you could have got your "divine hands" on the Mother's Pride, marge and Dairylea earlier on we wouldn't be in this bloody mess. At least the hall is still just about standing but the place is full of fish and chip wrappers and Swollox left the bog in a terrible state. And Dave didn't tell you, did he, that he dropped his ball bag in the car park and couldn't find all of 'em, so anyone relying on numbers, 2, 18, 34, 67 and 85 didn't have a cat in hell's chance (they must have been curious but at least they didn't suss it. Thick Yorkshire gits). We made a net profit on the bingo of £3 12s 6d but it's all gone on the 84 bin bags we had to buy, along with the bottle of Asda own-brand pine disinfectant for the lav. We've been served a noise nuisance notice by Sheffield Council (bloody tyke jobsworths) and ten old biddies were arrested for affray after they discovered that they all had identical bingo cards. I mean, what TWAT thought it was a great idea to save money by photocopying 'em! I'm going home now, that is if I can get through the crowd of vicious-looking demonstrators outside. Militant atheism my arse. I'm off to join the bloody Mounties.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans Clapton
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 02:50 AM

And I shall set up the reformed whatever the hell we call ourselves. ...

Perhaps the bingo was a bad idea. A bit too much like other religions in terms of promises of material reward that gullible people fall for but it is always the club secretary's missus who wins the meat platter.

We should have stuck to promising an afterlife where adherents are in paradise but thats not being enough, non believers get tortured by a devil for eternity. You can't promise the former without the latter as it panders to the greed and hard wired nastiness of shallow people.

How's about we book a turn for Saturday night? Some '70s club comics wanting to make a bob or two in order to get new hard disks for their laptops. Just the thing for acolytes, misogyny, queer bashing and casual racism.   Our pews will overflow.   Might even convert a few Methodists with that offer. ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 02:54 AM

Yea, OK, Messiah S, I did lose some balls but did you really need to replace them with lightning balls? I thought the old dear with the yellow cardie and wonky glasses was a gonner when it rolled across the ceiling. Good job she bent over to pick up the bit of fish she dropped. Mind you, I am not sure which I would rather face, a ball of lightning or a piece of greasy fish that had been on that floor.

I suppose we have to re-think the bingo as a money making scheme. How about insisting on 10% of all earnings? I think it's the Jehovahs Witlesses or the Morons that do something like that and get away with it.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket being business like
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 12:09 PM

As we are twice as good as them, we should hold out for 20%.

You know it makes sense.

Here's a quote from another thread from Jerk the Sailor;

"Musket. I'd love to join your religion and had over the deeds to my property."

Told him to bollocks. Faith requires credibility.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,concerened
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 03:39 PM

Just when you thought this thread couldn't get any worse, along comes musket and his little chums dave the gnome and steve shaw with even more of their purile crap.

Muscrat sans brain is even nicking my names for me nautical pal now.

Be nice to see some thing original on this thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 03:55 PM

Jesus, con-serened, I bloody LIKE your style! We have misogyny, we have tokenism and we have bingo misery. Your bile is exactly what we need to complete the formula. Have you finished that Wacko plank-walking medallion yet? Once that's done and in mass production I'm thinking of putting you on gospel writing. I'll give you a template that you must promise to write totally inconsistently with. I need you to provide the raison d'être for my complex atheological tome. By the way, old chap, we know who you are! :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Jul 13 - 03:58 PM

Did you know that an anagram of 'concerened' is 'No credence'. Quite apt I thought.

How about a tax on stupidity? We could really make a fortune on that.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Jul 13 - 08:53 AM

Hey, Messiahs S&M, I have been contemplating my navel all day and some very strange noises were occurring. Apart from the usual that is. I think it may have been a demon whispering in my lughole. Are you REALLY all knowing and all powerful? If so, how come you allow things like suffering and war. You know - Pretty much like Wednesday night.

Or do bad things only happen to non-believers?

Can you smite our enemies with that ball lightening? If so, there is a bloke who lets his dog shit outside our garden every Thursday that could do with sorting out. If you are too busy for the smiting bit I am happy to stand in and be your lightning ball handler, as it were.

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Jul 13 - 11:56 AM

We're working on all those things. Don't be impatient - what's five minutes in an eternity? :-)

If so, there is a bloke who lets his dog shit outside our garden every Thursday that could do with sorting out.

Definitely a Christian. They're only good on Sundays, you see.

Incidentally, I just had a phone call from the bingo hall. They didn't discover until this morning that Swollox threw up in the cutlery drawer on Wednesday. It's set rock-hard now on the knives and forks. They want money, and we're barred. Bingo my arse, Musket!


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans Clapton
Date: 05 Jul 13 - 12:39 PM

They barred us? Aren't we supposed to throw the money lenders from the temple?

Getting it arse about face again.

Just returned this afternoon from my pilgrimage to find the builders have been overzealous and instead of a bit of prep whilst we were gone, the bloody kitchen has disappeared.

Holy takeaways for the time being. Manna from The Great Wall. ..


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Jul 13 - 01:07 PM

Just returned this afternoon from my pilgrimage to find the builders have been overzealous and instead of a bit of prep whilst we were gone, the bloody kitchen has disappeared.

Yeah, this just goes to show, along with the bingo fiasco, that we really must get this omnipresence malarkey sorted.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Jul 13 - 03:40 PM

The holy builders? Wow! I didn't think the new faith was that far advanced. If you have got builder to do anything you are indeed blessed!

BTW - This is post 1193. 1+1+9=11x3=33,3x3=9. 1x1=1x9=9x3=27,2+7=9 Oh, man. The thinginess of it all. We must be at the dawn of the age of a query house. I need to find the holy joint now to open my cosmic consciousness, oh yea man!

bollocks!!

DtG,C,LBandSPS


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 13 - 07:13 AM

I'm thinking of adopting Here There And Everywhere as our messianic anthem of omnipresence, a sort of How Great Thou Art of militant atheism. I'll try McCartney again later on. When I rang last night he was out playing bingo.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Musket
Date: 06 Jul 13 - 08:38 AM

Onward rational soldiers!
Marching unto the pub
With the cross of the village
Asking you to keep yer bloody noise down! Rhyme? Waddyu mean rhyme? I'll rhyme yer arse if you don't stop ramming yer lack of belief down peoples's throats! Bloody Dawkins Botherers....


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 13 - 08:56 AM

The jobsworth from the bingo hall is still after me. Can anyone lend me fifty quid?


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,Musket sans cash
Date: 06 Jul 13 - 02:02 PM

I gave all mine to a bloke wanting to convert our followers.

I'll see what turns up in the collection. A vicar I knew had more cash in the pub on a Sunday night so I will use his logic.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 13 - 07:29 PM

Bollocks to the logic. Just nick his friggin' wallet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: GUEST,concerened
Date: 07 Jul 13 - 07:14 AM

I cannot Believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know appear to be talking in code.. with to many apropriase epithets thrown in for my taste..shame on you lot ,specially Dave The Gnob..sorry Gnome.

Muscrat sans brain has now surpassed jerk the sailor in his crassness and ranting buffoonery.

Bollocks to the logic. Just nick his friggin' wallet.- steve Shaw

i can appreciate the athiest stance but do you now belive in thieving as part of your godless activities,,

You don't have to patronise us believers by foul and inappropriate language .

I think you lot must be on something..that, or you have really lost the plot


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Subject: RE: BS: Militant atheism has become a religion
From: Musket
Date: 07 Jul 13 - 07:54 AM

On something? Onto something may be more appropriate. Patronising believers is something other churches do. We make ours help with the bingo.

Thieving is not necessarily a Godless activity. The Vatican is full of acquired "too good for heathens" artefacts.

Thanks for the compliment. Surpassing the master is normally cause for a cool beer.

Anyway, must rush. About to watch the British champion / Scottish loser (delete when appropriate) in the Wimbledon final.


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