BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 13 - 11:11 AM

From Facebook:

My nephew at college: There's nothing like taking a big dump first thing in the morning!

Me: I get out of bed first.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ed T
Date: 18 May 13 - 09:06 AM

What some see as drift, others could see as a progression;)

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 13 - 05:29 AM

One should alternate the swiping hand every so often as practice in preparedness for such an occasion as a pinched satanic nerve. Never more so true is the old adage, "The left hand should know what the right hand is doing."

Somehow, I just knew this particular thread drift would happen.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Blandiver
Date: 18 May 13 - 04:35 AM

What hand do you use to wipe your bum?















I use toilet paper myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Kampervan
Date: 18 May 13 - 02:22 AM

That thing in certain cultures about eating with the right hand cos they use the left hand for "washing" has always made me wonder...

Do they only use the right hand for preparing food too?

Just a thought.

K/van

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 13 - 11:16 PM

gnu, I don't care which hand you shake with but if you shake more than six times you're playing with yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ed T
Date: 17 May 13 - 06:05 PM

What hand do you scratch your balls with gnu - I would prefer the other to shake, if either :)

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: mayomick
Date: 17 May 13 - 06:02 PM

what does a gentleman do standing up , a lady do sitting down, and a dog do standing on three legs?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 May 13 - 09:59 PM

Of course if you stick out the hand that doesn't match the hand presented it's hard to shake hands. The person sticking out their hand first determines which hand the other person uses to respond. It's instinctive.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: gnu
Date: 16 May 13 - 09:48 PM

Bobert... you gotta go left, or right, as the case may be, every now and then, on accounta it's like datin a new lass.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Bobert
Date: 16 May 13 - 09:37 PM

I can go both ways...

No, not like that, you perverts...

Somethings I do left and others right... Most sports stuff I go left...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 May 13 - 09:30 PM

I think that gnu song actually refers to "that dreadful hartebeest", that being another variety of antelope which should not be confused with the wildebeest, otherwise known as the gnu, though both are antelopes.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 May 13 - 08:48 PM

The trouble is that only too often stuff that sounds like it was made up can turn out to be the truth. Every year on April Fools Day I read through the picture looking for the April Fool story, and on every page likely candidates leap out at me. The real one tends to be a bit of an aniclimax, because they have to over egg the pudding to avoid confusion.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 16 May 13 - 06:24 PM

Sorry, BrendanB, didn't mean to offend you. It's just 'left-handed bouzoukis' sounds like something said by Kenneth Williams on Around The Horn (old BBC radio comedy show) One of his characters was Rambling Sid Rumbelow, and he always spoke in double-entendres. Probably long before your time!

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: BrendanB
Date: 16 May 13 - 11:53 AM

Sorry Eliza, I know that I must be really thick but I don't get it. Can you explain what I am missing please?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 16 May 13 - 08:25 AM

Got it in one Eliza

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 16 May 13 - 05:40 AM

Is that Flanders and Swann, Nigel? Terrific song, I remember it on the steam radio donkey's years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 16 May 13 - 04:28 AM

JiK:
"Mistaken for A Gnu" ?

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-sea
Whence I travelled on to Aston-under-lyne
On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream
Which I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew
A bison? An okapi? Could it be a hearty beast?



Then I seem to hear a voice—"I'm a gnu!

I'm a gnu—a-g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I'm a gnu—how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I'm a gnu—spelt G - N - U
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue
Nor am I in the least like that dreadful hearty beast
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 16 May 13 - 03:28 AM

A recent explanation of why some people get cranky attributes it to "low self image."

In a test, several people were given their own picture and asked to describe it to a "police artist" who couldn't see them or their picture.

Another person was given the same picture, and the artist made a second drawing of the same person - but from someone else's description of the same picture.

The pictures shown in the report were all quite good, and the person would have been identifiable from either of the two pictures (not all police artists are as skilled as the one they used?), but in every case the one from the subject's "self description" looked worse (uglier?) than the description by another person.

Maybe it would be a good thing to "see ourselves as others see us" as Burns suggested.

But would that mean our left had was our right hand the way we see ourselves when we look in a mirror?

If we tried to shake hands with our own image in a mirror we'd "reach across" to take the "other person's" right hand but that really is our own left hand.

(If you think too hard about it you can get all confused, and be mistaken for a gnu.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 May 13 - 12:23 AM

My friend Paul is mentally retarded. He can't talk, but he's very demonstrative; and he gets his ideas across despite his inability to speak intelligibly - he makes lots of sounds, some very graphic.

And Paul loves to shake hands - usually with his left one. If the opportunity arises, he'll shake hands with the same person every five minutes. I think shaking hands is a very nice thing, especially with somebody like Paul who puts a lot of heart in it. Who am I to question what hand a person uses?

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:45 PM

I recall Oprah did a TV show where people in line for the show were "sorted" based on eye colour in order to film their reactions. It may have been based on what you speak of, Ebbie ? It was a rather disturbing display.

Say whatever you will about the Oprah show over the years, it did a lot of good.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:22 PM

I wrote a short story once on the inadvisability of blue eyes versus brown. Gray and hazel were marginal.

Reminds me of something I once read, an account of an Asian woman (forgotten what nationality) who shuddered at the thought of not knowing what color eyes and hair a baby would have.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:54 PM

Take it anyway you want, it is indeed a joke. Perhaps even more than a joke? Perhaps a jeer? a sneer? a protest? Take it any way ya wanna take it. But take it.

Surprises me that some folks inject their unfounded seriousness into something satirical and simply silly. I mean... why bother when it's just a lark? Unless, of course they meant to be seriously silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:07 PM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 15 May 13 - 09:49 PM

One fellow once described his technique for encouraging left handed shaking as being to pat the person on the cheek with the right hand while thrusting the the left hand into to person's belly to cause the preson to grab that hand - almost always with the left hand so that it could be grasped and shaken as he stepped back a little.

'Twas said he gave up the practice when the other guy grabbed him with both arms and planted a great big tonsilsuckin' kiss.

I lost contact, so don't know if he's improved on his method.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: meself
Date: 15 May 13 - 08:54 PM

Whatever it may or may not be aimed at, I have no hesitation in confirming that it is a, um - 'joke'.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 May 13 - 08:40 PM

The Indian way where you reverence the other person with prayer hands is much better.

Please someone confirm that this is one of those jokes people make up aimed at ridiculing "political correctness"!

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 May 13 - 08:33 PM

bad idea to shake lefthanded

good idea to shake lefthanded

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 13 - 07:30 PM

Apologies to Greg F- I thought your remark was witty, so I credited it to gnu. (ha!)

I like Rap's suggestion of bumping bellies. But would that be for males only? Would females bump boobs?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 15 May 13 - 07:00 PM

BrendanB 'My bouzoukis...are left-handed models' Teehee!

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 13 - 06:57 PM

While I do when forced, I don't like shaking hands with anyone. I always felt it was a major way to spread germs. Yuk.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 13 - 06:40 PM

Ebbie... that twerent me what posted that.

Personally, I don't shake hands. I just cite me arthritis and I simply apologize. But if anyone else wants to shake hands, who am I to tell them which hand to shake?

From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity - PM Date: 15 May 13 - 11:18 AM

Yeah... right.

Rap.... "And have you ever/never shook hands with someone missing their right hand?"

The right would say that even if the removal of the right hand is by force, such is no excuse. They say that right hand shaking begins at conception and it's God's will.

BTW... if any of this offends anyone... you know. The Peguins won last night and I got my external hardrive working right and I even mowed the lawn in spite of the pain so I don't even feel compelled to tell anyone who can't take or participate in a joke to

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 13 - 04:50 PM

Well, I think we should all just ignore this right-left nonsense and bump bellies like God intended! If you doubt this, read Mark 17:17-23 and Corinthians 3: 12-19.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 13 - 02:02 PM

"OK, then, what about those without arms? Can they shake with either foot?"

Oh, come on, gnu. I'd say that is a poor excuse. Civilised people use hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 15 May 13 - 12:47 PM

Boy Scouts shook hands left handed to show trust.
The tradition of shaking hands right-handed was a sign of peace, as you couldn't shake right hands while holding a weapon in what was (for most people) their 'dominant' hand.
Boy Scouts reversed this to show their trust for the fellow Scouts they were greeting.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Greg F.
Date: 15 May 13 - 12:30 PM

OK, then, what about those without arms? Can they shake with either foot?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 May 13 - 12:16 PM

Let's start a new movement!....End discrimination over what hand you 'shake it off' with!...and give reparations to all offended toilets and urinals!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:57 AM

".. just rub noses .."

You may think it's friendly, but it's snot...

(with thanks to an Art Theime line from 35 years ago)

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Megan L
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:47 AM

I think we should all just rub noses instead no chance of a cultural faux pas then

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:42 AM

People always seem to want to shake hands when I'm busy and have something in my right hand or when I'm playing guitar and wearing picks. Why should I put down what I'm holding or take my picks off to accommodate them? So I stick out my left hand. They can either shake it or piss off.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:19 AM

.........at least this time, it might be 'genetic', though....

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:18 AM

gnu: "I hear there is a new rights group asking the Feds to enact legislation to allow lefthands and ambidextrians the freedom shake hands lefthanded without being subject to discrimination. Parades are planned in many Canadian cities to protest treatment, even strongarm tactics, by anti-leftshake groups."

This is what happens when bored, affluent people have too much time on their hands, so they feature themselves as 'crusaders for a cause'! Smacks of certain inane, pedantic 'activists', that creep around here!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:16 AM

For God's sake! You shake hands with whichever hand the other person sticks out. Does anybody ever do anythng other than that?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:10 AM

And what about the rights of us righties? How about getting round the issue bu just hugging instead?

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 13 - 11:06 AM

OK- let's choose sides here. No wishy-washy opinions- we need bellow-til-the-face-is-purple reactions. And when one's opponent is on his/her knees don't let him/her up.

(Thanks, guhnu.)

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:39 AM

What kind of discrimination are left-handed handshakers subject to, gnu?

Meanwhile, as Bill D points out, in many cultures left hands are really dirty. We are fortunate enough to be able to say "One hand washes the other," but there are many places in the world where people have no faucet and no soap.

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:34 AM

Don't try it in Muslim countries (Google "left hand wiping")

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 15 May 13 - 10:12 AM

It's an unhygienic and unnatural practice. What about the spread of left-handed germs to right-hand shakers? We need legislation to stop this kind of promotion of deviant left-handed shaking lifestyles to impressionable youth who might think it's "cool" to experiment in left-handed shaking!

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 13 - 09:51 AM

Canadians have nothing better to do?

What difference does it make? And have you ever/never shook hands with someone missing their right hand?

Subject: RE: BS: Allowing lefthands to shake lefthanded?
From: BrendanB
Date: 15 May 13 - 09:43 AM

I am left-handed; my bouzoukis, cittern and guitars are all left handed models. I play my bodhran left-handed; even my hammer dulcimer playing is affected by my left-handedness. None of this makes me care a jot about shaking hands with my left hand. I feel that everyone should use the same hand, by tradition that is the right hand.   Is this by any chance a piss take?