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Star Trek Parody of 'Master of The House

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Mbo 07 Nov 99 - 06:32 PM
katlaughing 07 Nov 99 - 06:39 PM
MMario 07 Nov 99 - 07:35 PM
roopoo 08 Nov 99 - 02:05 AM
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Subject: Star Trek Parody of 'Master of The House
From: Mbo
Date: 07 Nov 99 - 06:32 PM

Well, here it is, my Star Trek:The Next Generation parody of "Master of the House" from the musical "Les Miserables." Let my just say beforehand that I am a HUGE fan of Les Miserables, both the musical and the book (unabridged) and also a passionately devoted Star Trek fan; I've seen almost every episode from all the series, and all the movies several times. Sure, call me a Trekker (we consider 'Trekkie' rather derogatory.


lyrics by Matthew Richards, music by Claude-Michel Shonberg

Welcome aboard! What a surprise!

This is the starship Enterprise

I am Picard, ready to serve

How would you like to try an hors d'oevre?

Would you like a trip 'round the Fleet's flagship?

Here's a napkin from the Captain and a tip (bum bum bum)

Master of the stars, keeper of the ship

I get in so much danger that you'll prob'ly flip

Pulling on my shirt is what I like to do

Makes me feel important and inspiring, too.

Can you sense the rising pressure? When we go to warp-speed eight

Sure we could go slower, but who wants to go at such a rate?

Master of the stars, bloke who's in command

Ruling on the bridge with an iron hand

Sit down Number One! I can't even think!

(A problem with the sensors and he makes a stink!)

Data won't fire those phasers at that little plantet's sun?

I'm so bloody bored, all day long I've chored

I just want to have a little fun!

Master of the stars! Galaxy's my home!

A hundred million places for this ship to roam!

Glowing warp nacelles make us go and come

As long as we have lots of fresh dilithium!

Some stuff on this ship is destined

To sit in dust, and rust, and rot

Can you say exactly when you've ever seen the Captain's Yacht?

Now what was that the Doctor had said?

Something about a smashed bio-bed?

Down in Sick Bay, it's a big bore

Analyses will make you snore!

My hands I wish could lay on a hypospray

Raising heck around the deck, and then I'd say:

Hey there, Mister Worf! You brute! Take this! Take this!

Next time shooting Romulans you will not miss!

Take this little Wes! You're really quite a pest!

Never contradict me, or you'll face arrest!

Geordie--let us go much faster! This speed's unsatisfactory!

Pump up those big engines--I want to see Warp 23!

Take a ride in space? Whatever you say, sir!

Tonight we've got a rendezvous with Voyager!

A little change of scene is just what I mean

Visiting the places where I've never been

Right into the Delta Quadrant, right into the Kazon's lair

We'll give them all a present that will make them lose their ugly hair!

Every once in a while, there will be a day

When I want to transport to a rugby game!

Master of the stars! Tooting on my flute!

Annoying all my neighbors like a knavish snoot!

But still I'm going bald (for reasons unresolved)

My fish's a lot of fun, his name is Livingston

There is no one bigger in hist'ry, and you may regard

Me as the greatest ever--Captain Jean-Luc Picard!

Drink to me with hot Earl Grey!

There's one thing I'd like to say!

I'm cooler than Mars, yes I'm the master of the stars!

Matthew Richards, Copyright 1996.

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Subject: RE: Star Trek Parody of 'Master of The House
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Nov 99 - 06:39 PM

My Hero!!! In Song!!! I love it!! Bravo! Bravo! Live long & prosper!

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Subject: RE: Star Trek Parody of 'Master of The House
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 99 - 07:35 PM

hee-hee-hee! I enjoyed that!

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Subject: RE: Star Trek Parody of 'Master of The House
From: roopoo
Date: 08 Nov 99 - 02:05 AM

As soon as my pianist daughter gets back from uni she's GOT to play it for me to have a go (or I could sing along with the cd). We've got the score books so we are ok! Love Les Mis. to bits and will also admit to having a Star Trek costume... There used to be a site with a Star Trek drinking game. Is it still there?


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