BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time

Subject: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:21 PM

...is: "The Room"

Yes, it has dethroned ancient turkeys like "Plan Nine from Outer Space" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats" and "The Giant Claw". Why? Well, because the room is in a whole different class of film, that's why. It's an art film...or at least it was meant to be.

Written, acted, directed, produced by, and STARRING Tommy Wiseau...a very weird European man with a Howard Stern-like hairdo and an unidentifiable accent, The Room attempts to say something really deep and serious about the human heart. Oh, yeah! You have to see it. There's nothing else like it. It's extraordinary in its awfullness and its unintentional funniness. It's one of a kind. Nothing else can ever match it.

And reading the reviews on IMDB.com is a riot. Here's one of them:

"This is easily the worst movie i have ever seen. Having said that, this is the best movie i have seen in quite some time. i nearly defecated just struggling to concentrate on the story???? as i cried with laughter. Before i go any further i feel that i must mention that this movie cost the director SIX MILLION DOLLARS.......

To begin, the sexual intercourse scenes are so perfectly timed with the awful r&b music that her climax and repetition of the fine director's buttocks only increase with the crescendo of the music itself. The camera angle through the waterfall is particularly excellent. I also feel that the amount of lines about how beautiful Lisa is has most to do with the fact that she is not in fact beautiful.

One of the better traits this movie has to offer is the uncanny ability for every character to immediately explode in anger and then forgive everyone around them. Apparently every character has taken a bit too many steroids and do not know how to control there hormone levels at all. When we do find any conflict the subject is completely swept under the rug and then they have sex. Its like a mixture between a frat party and the real world and confused Asian tourists all combined to create the personality of this cast, then it was filmed. Also i feel that i have to mention that the old lady had breast cancer. This too was immediately forgotten along with the fact that Denny had some sever drug issues. Which in the words of our dear friend Johnny "hey, that's life".

The intense camera angles and beautiful transition scenes were particularly clever because they only added to the confusion of what this movie was about. To add more confusion, they reused cut scenes and added characters without even telling us who they were, this too was very clever and cost efficient.

Toward the end of the movie it really got good. Finally the two men fought over the cheating woman. They made up immediately. Then they fought again, Johnny walked away, and with a brilliant cinematic performance by the director/actor/cheap leather coat from Korea salesman, he trashed the set, touched himself violently but sexually with Lisa's dress and shot himself in the mouth.

words will never explain this movie, YOU MUST WATCH THIS

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:37 PM

Even worse that Amadeus?

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:40 PM

... or Life Is Beautiful?

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:42 PM

Definitely! FAR worse than Amadeus. Worse by several light years.

Here are some snippets to draw you in...

a few choice scenes from The Room

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:42 PM

Ishtar... hurts just to say it.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:46 PM

What makes The Room simply THE worst is the incomparable Tommy Wiseau. Every moment he is in shines in a totally unique fashion, provoking tears, laughter, and awestruck silence. He shouldn't stop here, he should make a whole series of movies starring HIM and become a legend in his own time.

I hate to say it, but he has knocked William Shatner off the throne of the King of Baaad Acting for all time. (sob) I may have to close down the WSSBA.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:55 PM

Here's some biographical info about Tommy Wiseau:

The life and times of Tommy Wiseau

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 28 May 13 - 12:57 PM

Yeah ~~ point taken. But a different sort of 'worst' from the obnoxious Life Is Beautiful, hmmm?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 01:02 PM

Perhaps. I can't say, because I haven't seen "Life is Beautiful"...yet.

Here's a video where Tommy Wiseau draws comparisons between "Citizen Kane" and "The Room".

Tommy explains it all

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 01:06 PM

brilliantly subtle foreshadowing here by Tommy

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Kendall
Date: 28 May 13 - 02:18 PM

Sorry, but the worst film I ever saw was titled LOBSTEROIDS.
It would have to get better to be called awful.

I narrated the damn thing. Nuff to make a dog puke.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 28 May 13 - 02:39 PM

Dirty Dancing, yeeuch.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 13 - 03:05 PM

I've heard of Lobsteroids, and I believe it had to be terrible, but I still think Tommy Wiseau has managed to create something more formidable, simply because he was reaching way higher than the people who made Lobsteroids. I doubt that they ever thought they were creating great art. ;-) It is the sheer, innocent hubris of "The Room" which sets it apart and in a class of its own.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 28 May 13 - 06:13 PM

I said it before and I will say it again "The English Patient"
wife forced me to watch one time ... What the hell was that about anyway , Oscar my arse

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Songwronger
Date: 28 May 13 - 06:30 PM

That's pretty bad. I expect a lot of Wiseau's six million went to the drugs needed to achieve his performance. Pretty funny how he compares The Room to Citizen Kane. Welles would have talked that poseur out of his six million and made a REAL movie.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: kendall
Date: 28 May 13 - 07:28 PM

Olddude, that was a tiresome loser in my book.

So was Captain Corellis mandolin,Desperately seeking Susan and Babbettes feast.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Charmion
Date: 28 May 13 - 08:40 PM

Hey, I loved Babette's Feast!

But I have to admit that having done time in Norway helps one appreciate Scandinavian film.

Worst film of my life -- Mandingo, starring Ken Norton. I walked out in the mddle of the first reel, peering over my shoulder in case anybody I knew saw me there.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: gnu
Date: 28 May 13 - 08:41 PM

The movie Lobsteroids couldn't be as bad as the trailer, could it?

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Elmore
Date: 28 May 13 - 08:52 PM

Saw (was dragged to) Burlesque with Cher and Christine Aguillera. Dreadful.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: frogprince
Date: 28 May 13 - 11:21 PM

Sorry guys; I've seen a lot of desperately bad waste of film stock in my day. Down in the bottom of the pit, below anything ever cranked out for $37.00 or less, or destroyed by a drug- addled director, there are two movies struggling to crawl under each other...."Showgirls" and "In the Realm of the Senses".

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: ranger1
Date: 28 May 13 - 11:49 PM

I still contend that two of the worst films ever made are Valhalla Rising and Message in a Bottle.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: kendall
Date: 29 May 13 - 08:11 AM

RANGER 1, have you seen Lobsteroids?

Gnu, believe me, the film is worse. My narration is the best part.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: ranger1
Date: 29 May 13 - 08:32 AM

Cap, that falls into the "so bad it's good" category.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 May 13 - 08:36 AM

Charmion, I, too, liked "Babette's Feast".

"Boring People", I mean, "Ordinary People"...now THAT'S a bad movie.

On the other hand, I really like "Bubba Ho-Tep" and "A Polish Vampire In Burbank".

A REALLY classic bad movie is "Door To Door Maniac" starring Johnny Cash.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 13 - 09:32 AM

Probably the worst film I've ever seen, from the camera angles to the lack of editing to the filming in blank & white, was "Below Knee Amputations" which was written, produced, and filmed by the US Department of the Army. Although I saw it many years ago it haunts me to this day, knowing the I know the proper way to cut your leg off below the knee.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 May 13 - 11:08 AM

Recent offering - 'The Master' - full of unlikable people with nothing to say - not even bad enough to be good (unlike everything Roger Corman directed)!
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 13 - 12:34 PM

Okay, I see that you people are losing the thread of this discussion entirely, getting sidetracked, and dragging in all those other lacklustre bad movies that can't possibly compete with Tommy Wiseau's brilliant epic, "The Room".

I'm going to have to get you back on track by posting a short clip...in this scene Tommy goes to buy some roses for his fiance whom he loves dearly (even though she's an unfaithful slut and a borderline psychotic nutcase)...but I digress. Note the exquisite timing, pacing, and subtle dramatic nuances that are embodied in this famous scene:

the flower shop scene

The "Hi, doggie..." moment is particularly rewarding and unexpected. Who else but Johnny (the character Tommy Wiseau is playing) would have thought to slip that in? He is such a NICE guy! He's nice to everyone, even to weird little dogs sitting on counters in flower shops. Johnny is a prince. How did he end up with a deceitful, cheating skank like Lisa? Why is his life falling apart? Why is his hair so disarranged? It's all so tragic!

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 13 - 12:50 PM

Now just to give you some more perspective, here's some video of a packed theatre full of Tommy's most faithful fans watching "The Room", and you can hear their reactions to the flower shop scene:

audience appreciation for the genius of Wiseau

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: kendall
Date: 29 May 13 - 01:58 PM

LH, have you seen Lobsteroids? It is worse than the Room.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 13 - 02:40 PM

No, Kendall, but I've looked up some info about it. It sounds hilariously, almost unbelievably bad. Amazing that they would work in rock bands the way they did as an antidote to giant lobsters. What idiot would come up with that idea?

As to whether it's a worse movie than The Room, I guess that would depend on worse in which way, wouldn't it? I don't think The Room is really comparable to schlock horror films like Lobsteroids or The Creeping Terror, because it's just not that type of movie. It's sort of like trying to compare a giant leech to an ugly art deco restaurant and decide which is "worse"...(?)...it's hard to even decide where to begin making the connection.

The really extraordinary thing about The Room, though, is Tommy Wiseau. He is....unusual. Very unusual. And every moment he's onscreen is strangely fascinating...even unsettling at times...and that's what makes the movie. Also, he's likeable in a weird way, because you can feel how very sincerely determined he was to make something really memorable and deep when he filmed The Room. He wants people to understand! He is a man with a dream, no question about that.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 13 - 03:10 PM

A comment from Zack Mosley on The Room's fanpage:

"There are Hollywood movies with big budgets and real talent involved that, in relation to THE ROOM, obey the laws of drama set forth by Aristotle and, say, Syd Field, and all authorities in between. But how many comedies are as gut-bustingly funny as this drama? To make something THIS out of tune, THIS tone deaf to the dynamics of real life and every day human interaction, while aspiring to tell a tale with "the passion of Tennessee williams"... well it requires a savant-like aptitude for unintentional comedy only possessed by someone with real vision, however derailed that vision might be. Tommy Wiseau is an auteur. THE ROOM is a glorious accident, a perfect storm of mistakes. The reason it succeeds so perfectly at "making us feel better about ourselves" is because it is 100% sincere in its total misdirection. Had Wiseau gotten more of the elements "right", THE ROOM would be forgotten as quickly as the thousands of other films made in 2003 that aimed somewhere near the middle of the road, and hit it. My only regret is that the intervening years have most likely warped his sensibilities, and if Wiseau is ever inclined (or allowed) to make another film, he may not be able to catch the same lightning-in-a-bottle bizare badness that makes THE ROOM so good."

****

That gets it in a nutshell. The thing that's so compelling about Tommy Wiseau is his utter sincerity, his passionate belief in the enduring value of what he's doing, his nakedly innocent and unashamed idealism, his fervent desire to spread love, forgiveness, and compassion to all and to address human pain in a way that achieves some kind of cathartic closure. That sort of thing is pretty rare, specially in really bad movies.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: kendall
Date: 29 May 13 - 07:13 PM

"Nothing is good or bad. thinking makes them so." (Hamlet)

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 13 - 09:46 PM

Yessir. I'll go along with that. It's the prior conditioning from our own culture that basically sets us up to judge a piece of artistic work as "good" or "bad".

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,EBarnacle
Date: 29 May 13 - 10:49 PM

You mean it's worse than Warhol's Empire State Building? Sheesh, talk about con games. A classic case of "It's art because I say it is." Feh!

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 30 May 13 - 04:38 AM

I remember 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin'.

That was the one with Nicolas Cage as an Italian army officer.

Not one of his tough guy roles, then....

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,JHW(cookie still on old computer)
Date: 30 May 13 - 04:59 AM

I've avoided the interminable run of sci-fi CG stuff but thought I'd be safe with olden days Star Trek albeit 3D.
Alas no. Just like two hours of the trailer.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 May 13 - 11:49 AM

The worst is Deja Vu, a film that the rich wife of an avante garde Hollywood director decided to make. The woman can't act her way out of a paper bag, but she managed to hire some very good British actors to play in this thing. Viewers find themselves feeling so embarrassed for those actors who have to work with her.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 May 13 - 12:07 PM

It ain't been made yet. It will be when Amos uses the money from his book sales to fund a movie starrin' him and Rapparee. It'll be a sorta remake of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but put in modern times. Amos and Rap will be a California author and a gun collectin' librarian from Pocatello who team up together to unravel a recently discovered ancient manuscript that unlocks the secrets of evolution, time travel, alien visitors to Earth, and the keys to marital harmony (regular, gay, transexual or bisexual, inter-species, etc...you name it). There will be scenes filmed in San Diego, L.A., San Francisco, New York, Paris, Singapore, Stonehenge, Timbuktu, Moscow, Osaka, the South Pole, and Schenectady...but not necessarily in that order. No animals will be harmed durin' the film. It will encompass 3 and a half hours of conversation usin' a few words you might not hear every day. It will end up bein' a cult film shown at midnight matinees well into the 2030s, and people will come to throw thesauruses at the screen whilst sippin' Chai latte's and exclaimin' "I swan!".

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Elmore
Date: 30 May 13 - 02:20 PM

I suspect that worst is in the eye of the beholder. Just a ton of very very bad flicks out there.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: EBarnacle
Date: 30 May 13 - 05:42 PM

Summer is comin' in. Look for a new crop.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Acorn4
Date: 30 May 13 - 07:17 PM

The extremely entertaining Mark Kermode on "Sex and the City -2"

Mark Kermode Rant

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Joe_F
Date: 30 May 13 - 09:45 PM

You mean _Attack of the Killer Tomatoes_ is no longer in the running?

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 30 May 13 - 11:43 PM

Borat is the worse movie ever. Racist A-hole exploiting politeness.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Acorn4
Date: 31 May 13 - 04:10 AM

Mark Kermode - worst films of 2012:-


http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/posts/The-10-Worst-Films-of-2012

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 May 13 - 04:47 PM

Which race you figger Sacha Baron Cohen is out to get, Jack?

Seen "Bruno" yet? Or "The Dictator"?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: EBarnacle
Date: 31 May 13 - 11:16 PM

Being an equal opportunity hater does not make you funny. I worked on "The Dictator" and I have never seen such an arrogant, nasty star. . . except maybe for Streisand.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Jun 13 - 12:04 AM

Izzat right? Well...I'm not all that surprised to hear it. He sure likes makin' people feel uncomfortable...that seems to be his main aim.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 13 - 02:52 PM

EBarnacle - Having seen all his movies, I don't get the impression he is "hating" people in them....I get the impression he's ruthlessly making fun of people in them...and attempting to jar them out of their comfort zones and get a reaction of some kind.

Why does he do that? (shrug) I don't know. Maybe he thinks he's the smartest guy in the room (which is a very common belief in people). Maybe he just enjoys being a shit disturber. Maybe he thinks it will advance his career. Maybe it's his way of having fun. I doubt that he does it because he hates people. What I mean is..."hate" is probably not the most accurate word to describe his arrogant and shit-disturbing attitude.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Jun 13 - 04:31 PM

We saw "Hugo", and Cohen's role in that almost made me forgive him for the limited glimpses of him that I've seen otherwise.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: gnomad
Date: 02 Jun 13 - 06:38 AM

Anybody seen The Norseman? I have only just heard of this one, but it looks truly abysmal from the trailer.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 13 - 12:57 PM

Yeah, that's hilariously fake looking. Despite the marketing, Vikings apparently did not wear horns on their helmets.

From an article on the subject:

"If Viking warriors didn't wear winged or horned helmets in battle, what did they wear? Many probably didn't wear helmets at all. Writing about seven centuries before the Viking era, the Roman historian Tacitus says most Germans didn't. But we needn't take his word for it. Contemporary Viking era artwork shows roughly half of Vikings in battle bareheaded, while the rest wear unremarkable dome-shaped or conical helmets. Few helmets have survived from the Viking Age, probably because the rank-and-file wore leather helmets that didn't last. The few metal ones that have been discovered presumably belonged to the richest Vikings. Some are iron "spectacle" helmets, so called because they have bronze eye-and-nose guards that look a bit like a pair of glasses except that there's nothing at all nerdy about them. I'm willing to bet that anybody who called their wearers "four-eyes" was soon made to see the light--or stars."

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 13 - 01:06 PM

The thing is, wearing horns or other large and solid protuberances on a helmet is a very bad idea in a battle. It gives people something to grab onto and pull you off balance. It provides an inconvenient surface for a sword or other weapon to strike and wrench your kneck out of joint with the impact or knock the helmet off your head. It's one hell of a bad idea, and it would have been a stupid thing to have on a helmet in a battle. Archaelogists think that the few horned and winged helmets found were probably ceremonial gear rather than equipment meant to be worn in battle.

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jun 13 - 01:45 PM

No mention of the Hercules movie series: Unchained, Unleashed, Unwashed.
All dreadful with dubbed in English. Hilarious to watch the mouth go four fifteen seconds and hear "No".

Subject: RE: BS: the new Worst movie of ALL time
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jun 13 - 02:37 PM

Yup, those were terrible. And Steve Reeves shocked society by not wearin' a bra.

- Chongo