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Would you buy tickets for this show?

Zimmerman 07 Jun 13 - 03:37 PM
jacqui.c 07 Jun 13 - 03:51 PM
Elmore 07 Jun 13 - 03:53 PM
GUEST 07 Jun 13 - 05:08 PM
GUEST,CS 07 Jun 13 - 05:13 PM
GUEST,CS 07 Jun 13 - 05:16 PM
Joybell 07 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM
Zimmerman 07 Jun 13 - 05:56 PM
McGrath of Harlow 07 Jun 13 - 06:36 PM
Elmore 07 Jun 13 - 07:06 PM
melodeonboy 07 Jun 13 - 07:17 PM
Elmore 07 Jun 13 - 08:23 PM
Joe_F 07 Jun 13 - 08:31 PM
Elmore 07 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM
Bugsy 07 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM
Jeri 07 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM
Bugsy 07 Jun 13 - 10:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jun 13 - 10:46 PM
Acorn4 08 Jun 13 - 04:51 AM
vectis 08 Jun 13 - 05:18 AM
Will Fly 08 Jun 13 - 05:45 AM
GUEST 08 Jun 13 - 05:45 AM
GUEST,henryp 08 Jun 13 - 06:52 AM
McGrath of Harlow 08 Jun 13 - 11:03 AM
GUEST,John Foxen 08 Jun 13 - 11:41 AM
Leadfingers 08 Jun 13 - 11:56 AM
McGrath of Harlow 08 Jun 13 - 12:40 PM
Zimmerman 08 Jun 13 - 12:47 PM
GUEST 08 Jun 13 - 02:15 PM
GUEST,John Foxen 08 Jun 13 - 02:53 PM
McGrath of Harlow 08 Jun 13 - 02:56 PM
Zimmerman 08 Jun 13 - 05:22 PM
McGrath of Harlow 08 Jun 13 - 07:18 PM
Bugsy 10 Jun 13 - 03:21 AM
Tattie Bogle 11 Jun 13 - 03:32 AM
GUEST,Grishka 11 Jun 13 - 04:26 AM
GUEST,John Foxen 14 Jun 13 - 10:26 AM
GUEST,Grishka 14 Jun 13 - 12:10 PM
Zimmerman 18 Jun 13 - 01:47 PM
GUEST,Grishka 18 Jun 13 - 04:20 PM
Don Firth 18 Jun 13 - 04:37 PM
gnomad 18 Jun 13 - 05:24 PM
Will Fly 18 Jun 13 - 05:37 PM
GUEST,Grishka 18 Jun 13 - 06:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jun 13 - 01:11 AM
GUEST,John Foxen 21 Jun 13 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,Grishka 21 Jun 13 - 11:24 AM
Will Fly 21 Jun 13 - 11:38 AM
Zimmerman 21 Jun 13 - 02:23 PM
GUEST,Grishka 21 Jun 13 - 03:13 PM
Will Fly 21 Jun 13 - 03:21 PM
GUEST,Stuart Reed 21 Jun 13 - 06:20 PM
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Subject: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 03:37 PM

I suppose there's no point in selling yourself short if you are looking for gigs but you might not want to go in the direction of this guy, promoting his folk tribute act on his website:

Share with me if you will the lead up to, and the first opening moments of, another [redacted] concert.

Upon taking their seats, the audience are greeted by a stage that silently understates the performance that is about to begin; bathed in warm ambient light, it is simply functional, but not without intrigue. My three acoustic guitars stand proudly to the right of where I will sit: two brown and one blue, their newly polished surfaces reflect the soft light from above and beg questions from the gathering and patiently waiting people...

The lights go up...cueing my entrance to the stage. Dressed in jeans, billowing cotton shirt and waistcoat, I animate in acknowledgement of the welcoming applause...
The audience are attentive to my introductory words welcoming them to the show and they respond heartily to my humour ... it resonates ... and adds encouragingly to the focus of this tribute.

For the next two and a quarter hours I will sing and share anecdotes to entertain and inform and will endeavour to draw every listener closer as I ... etc. etc


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 03:51 PM

That would put me off totally.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Elmore
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 03:53 PM

Who the heck is this guy? Please tell me so I can avoid him.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 05:08 PM

I bet he's not Martin Carthy ! [Who, by the way, was as brilliant as ever last week in Bridgewater, even to the point of stopping a song three quarters of the way through and starting again because he felt 'it wasn't quite right'. If you have not seen this man, see him, if you have you will know. 'Ambient' lights ? Three guitars ? He doesn't even use a guitar stand but he remains the real deal...]


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 05:13 PM

Woo, that's sickly! Not for me, but I guess it all depends on who he's actually selling himself too. Barry Manilow tribute?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 05:16 PM

One wonders how his Missus gets treated of a night...
I wonder if he ever gets past the speech?   >8-/


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Joybell
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM

I might. Seen as theatre it sounds great. Sounds a bit like a David Lynch performance segment from one of his movies. He's telling us it's drama. Drama isn't real. I don't know about that blue guitar though. Blue doesn't work well with brown. Warm bright colours that's what he needs. And bright satin pants -- not jeans. Actors are able to engage an audience while pretending to be a character that's not meant to be real.
Yes! I might go. I'd hope his material is good as well.
Cheers, Joy


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 05:56 PM

Trust me Joybell, David Lynch he is not...


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 06:36 PM

Liberace never played guitar did he?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Elmore
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 07:06 PM

Liberace really never played guitar professionally ,but faked it a couple of times in Vegas, while Elvis actually played Liberace's guitar.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 07:17 PM

No!


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Elmore
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 08:23 PM

Sorry. Elvis actually played Liberace;s PIANO.

sS


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 08:31 PM

88-string guitar.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Elmore
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM

Precisely.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Bugsy
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM

Donovan?


CHeers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 10:25 PM

How can a shirt billow if it's under a waistcoat?

Seriously, when a guy talks that much about how pretty everything is, I get the impression the actual music doesn't matter much. Is it "Fabio Does Dylan" or something?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Bugsy
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 10:35 PM

What was I thinking?!

It couldn't be Donovan.

If it was Donovan, the guitar would have been GREEN.

CHeers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 13 - 10:46 PM

The blue guitar doesn't bother me as much as the two brown ones. I would never call a guitar "brown" unless the top had actually been stained brown. (A not unheard of, but rather uncommon practice.) Most guitars' tops are "natural". Sure, they're varying shades of light brown, but ya don't call 'em "brown"!


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 04:51 AM

The humour bit gives a clue it might be Leonard Cohen.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: vectis
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 05:18 AM

Sounds like a total pratt to me.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Will Fly
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 05:45 AM

Not American - from the spelling of "humour".

Sounds like a huge piss-take to me. If it is serious... brrrr!


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 05:45 AM

He might promote his folk tribute act more successfully if Google was indexing that website.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 06:52 AM

This month marks thirty years since the death of Stan Rogers. I hope he didn't have a blue guitar.

I can't think of many tribute acts in the folk world - we've had a Sandy Denny tour recently and there's Fake Thackeray.

Performers may be inspired by earlier musicians but, thankfully, they still want to express their own personalities.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 11:03 AM

Coms on Zimmerman, give us the website, we're curious. You needn't worry you'd be promoting this person. In fact the reverse.

The idea of tribute acts in folk evokes some intriguing notions. Imagine a Ewan McColl impersonator. Or an Alex Campbell clone.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,John Foxen
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 11:41 AM

This reads like a Vogon poet translated by a Babelfish. "Dressed in jeans, billowing cotton shirt and waistcoat, I animate in acknowledgement of the welcoming applause..."
Come on Zimmers, old bean, you beg questions from the gathering and patiently waiting people... at least give us a clue as to Mr Wonderful's nationality. Is it a Ukrainian tractor driver's John Denver act?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 11:56 AM

Hell !! MY publicity says I am a 'Poseuer and Song Thief' , but even I am not THAT pretentious !!


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 12:40 PM

A brainwave struck me and I tried posting a quote from Zimmer's extract from the website.

"That'll flush out the bugger" I thought.

But I'm afraid the only site with the words in question that came up were.. the opening post here by Zimmer.

Suspicion stirs in me. Could it be that Zimmer made it up for us?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 12:47 PM

John Foxen - you're getting warm...


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 02:15 PM

It's a strip show, right? (Just thought I'd ask.)


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,John Foxen
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 02:53 PM

Right I'll stick with a John Denver tribute act but the nationality is still foxing me.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 02:56 PM

So would it be this lad then?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 05:22 PM

Keep digging McGrath you've got the correct nationality.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jun 13 - 07:18 PM

I'd go for a Kipper Family tribute show. Or Cosmotheka. (But in fact there is the new Cosmotheka with Dave Sealey and his son Dan, which I wouldn't class as a tribute show but as a revival - and I look forward to getting to see them in time.)


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Bugsy
Date: 10 Jun 13 - 03:21 AM

Ok, give us a clue. Is it a tribute show for a Dead Folkie?


Cheers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 11 Jun 13 - 03:32 AM

As it's Zimmerman that's posting, could it be Bob Dylan?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 11 Jun 13 - 04:26 AM

Since Google does not know any other source, which is virtually unthinkable of any website designed for self-promotion, I guess Mr Zimmerman has confronted us with a product of his satirical authorship.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,John Foxen
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 10:26 AM

I tried translating a key phrase into numerous languages then googling it with no result. You seem to have beaten us Mr Zimmerman. So who is the mystery man?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 12:10 PM

Note that member Zimmerman has a "record" of posting texts from mysterious sources (mystifications, for short, or fakes, for shorter), see for example this one. Not without talent. When can we read your first novel "The Hulk of Folk", Mr Zimmerman, to rival "The Great Gatsby"?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 01:47 PM

No fakery - how very dare you!

here it is...


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 04:20 PM

Gee, Zimmeman, you got me! I was seriously congratulating you to your parodistic talent, but it seems that the reality of some PR agent surpasses all possible parody (unless you made up the whole thing including the German translation and the YouTube video).

Google does know Ivor George, but does not list that website. It may have been censored. There is a famous old saying: "Satires that the censor understands will be rightly forbidden" - it needs an addition: "Websites that the censor is bound to mistake for satires will be rightly suppressed!"


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 04:37 PM

I just tried Zimmerman's link, and except for my toolbars, I got a completely black screen. Other than black, there's nothing there.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: gnomad
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 05:24 PM

Worked OK for me Don. I read some of it, but now need to throw up.

In answer to the thread title (emphatically) no.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Will Fly
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 05:37 PM

Grooogh!!

Ah... that's better...


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 18 Jun 13 - 06:26 PM

The gentleman prides himself in being his own PR agent, so there is nobody else to blame. The clumsy translator into German was obviously his German wife. And is his YouTube performance horrid and pretentious to match? No, just very mediocre - what a disappointment!

I think with a blond wig and round glasses I could make a decent JD impersonator as well. I am not sure whether it makes anyone rich though. Ivor, what do you think about a career as an Ivor George parodist? You have a favourable mention on Mudcat for a start, including Will Fly's precious vomit - what others dream of!


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 13 - 01:11 AM

The blank black screen seems to be a browser compatability issue.   It worked for me with Opera, but not with Internet Explorer.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,John Foxen
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 10:33 AM

Great thread. Two puzzles remain: how did Zimmerman stumble upon the guy and is he really real? His strange appearance and the phrase "I animate in response to the welcoming applause" suggest that he is actually a puppet who has escaped from an episode of Thunderbirds. Does his wife put him back in a box after his act is over?


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 11:24 AM

John, that is what I keep asking myself. The guy in the YouTube clips exists, apparently humanoid and able to hold a guitar to a (partial?) playback. He publishes his concert data at genuine venues (most of them in Germany) together with links to the website mentioned by Zimmerman. Technically, that site is artfully goofed, using a Mac tool "iWeb 1.0.0". If that is all fake, it took a lot of work. Just for fooling Mudcat? Hard to believe.

A more likely theory is that someone (Zimmerman? An agent of a competing JD impersonator?) hacked the website and replaced the English text with what we read. The German text remained unchanged - it is more in accordance with the YouTube vid in its lack of poetic elegance, though not of pretentiousness. It may be an attempt at a translation of the original English text.

Still, reality can be surprising. Background information is welcome.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Will Fly
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 11:38 AM

In spite of my last post, I have to say that, no matter how weird his site and prose appear, well - good luck to the man. I wouldn't go his route in a million years but, if he can make a living from it, then good luck to him.

There's a place for everything musical in this world, and if we don't care for some of it ourselves, well that doesn't matter. Others will.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Zimmerman
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 02:23 PM

Further digging reveals that he really does exist - and here he is in a previous incarnation


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 03:13 PM

Remains to find out whether he really wrote that text or was cracked. In the latter case he is just a poor fellow. The author, whatever his (or her) purpose, has some weird literary grandeur.

There were times when being a native speaker/singer of English was sufficient to become a "star" in Germany and France. These times are gone; Germans are now spoiled by performers such as Mudcat's alanabit.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: Will Fly
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 03:21 PM

The biggest heart throb singer in Germany at the moment is Argentinian-born Semino Rossi, with several platinum discs to his credit.


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Subject: RE: Would you buy tickets for this show?
From: GUEST,Stuart Reed
Date: 21 Jun 13 - 06:20 PM

Not to mention Hove's finest: Nick Howard


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