BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?

Subject: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 09:47 PM

I'm normally a fairly peaceable sort here in this Senior Center, I think. At least, in my daily life here; I've been here only since late January and like most of the people I've met.

But yesterday on my way home through the lobby to the elevator, I heard a well-dressed woman - not a tenant here - with a clipboard in her hands telling two or three tenants of the liberties we in the USA have lost under Obama. Of course, I paused and listened.

And then she said, "And now we've lost the right to assemble. Yes. If we assemble for a peaceful discussion, they will monitor us and then they will send the armed drones and if we don't stop, they will take us out."

I exploded.

She says, "Yes. Just today, the Supreme Court ruled that we can no longer assemble."

I say quite a bit more and then I go upstairs fuming.

Why do I ALWAYS say Bullshit(e)?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 10:13 PM

Ebbie, it's posts like this that change my normal placidity to active RAGE!   If only you hadn't asked if I ever lose my temper I wouldn't be tearing this motel room to shreds! I never ever lose my temper except if people ask that question!!

Seriously, did the woman cite which Supreme Court decision she was talking about? And if she was talking to other people she was part of an "assembly" and was therefore probably bugged, an attempt by the Government to entrap people so they can send them off to the internment camps. You should have exposed her right then and there for the government fink she obviously is.

Doesn't your Senior Center have rules about doing such things in the building?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 10:14 PM

Or you could have peered deeply into her eyes, and when she asked you what you were doing replied, "You're so full of shit that I wanted to see if your eyes were brown."

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 10:20 PM

I don't think getting riled about someone propagating lies of this nature as "losing one's temper." I think of it more as defending our country from lunatics. My best published op/ed pieces were written when I was very angry about any certain subject. I'd start writing so fast the sparks would fly.**bg** I always got a lot of response on those ones, too.

You write well. Next time see if you can get it down on paper, then share it, if you'd like. Most all, don't beat yourself up over it!

kat whose hair was still a natural red in her twenties, she had a flash temper, and was known as "Irish" at the bar where she worked.hahahah!

Keep it up, Ebbie. You are an inspiration.

katmorewhitishnow

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 11:04 PM

I'd like myself better if I stayed cool. For instance, as Rap implied, had I inquired of her whether she was expecting the black helicopters momentarily and if not, why not? Instead, her sheer stupidity-

I charged her not to spread such lies, that if she does, she is part of the problem, to question what she hears from just one side, to ask herself if something makes sense. She looked a little taken aback but not at all convinced that I was right.

I have no idea who she was/is, but if I see her again I will wade in again no doubt.

If only I would not exclaim "Bullshit!" In a woman of my age that is hardly seemly. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 11:12 PM

Only when I'm in a mood to rip heads off.

- Chongo

p.s. When it comes to politics, people just believe whatever they been hearin' lately from their usual favorite sources...whatever those might be...and they believe what they wanta believe, of course. If they say stuff that is completely untrue, they are usually unaware of it, and they think they're tellin' the truth. Therefore, they don't know they are "propagatin' lies"...they figger they are spreadin' some very good information that everyone oughta know. Just ask 'em. They are just as eager to "save" you from evil and lies as you are to "save" them from evil and lies. Me, I see specism everywhere and I'm always right! ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 11:18 PM

Chongo, go away- Little Hawk can speak for himself. Nothing personal and all that.

As for unknowingly speaking lies, it is my contention that anyone has the right, even duty, to suggest that someone cite sources. In other words, this woman could not possibly have heard that the US Supreme Court "just today" had ruled on the matter.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 13 - 11:57 PM

Well, yes, she could have, given the time difference between DC and Juneau. But I sincerely doubt that a) she did and 2) she would have understood the decision. But I've looked at some recent (June of this year) decisions of the Supremes and can't find any that fit. Nor can I find any on Snopes.

Next time, just complain to the management.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 12:28 AM

Yeah, sure "anyone has the right, even duty, to suggest that someone cite sources". But do most people? No, they just talk, and they voice the opinions they take for granted and assume those opinions have some real basis. They've formed a general view of things that they got from their parents, their friends, snippets of news they've heard, the paper, radio, whatever...and they normally listen to news outlets which support their existing viewpoint...thus strengthening their existing fears and prejudices.

This woman may well have heard stuff on the radio, on Fox TV, on the Net that gave her the ideas she is expressing. What she should probably not do is bother people in the Senior Center about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 01:01 AM

It seems most likely to me that she listened to talk radio. I have heard people repeat things they heard there as though it had validity of some kind.

What I was suggesting, Little Hawk, is that the *audience* has the right or even duty to ask for the provenance. One of my strongest beliefs is that *nobody* has the right to repeat questionable or controversial information until we have made an effort to find out its truth. If we are not able to ascertain it, we have the duty to say so. I absolutely despise anyone repeating unsubstantiated stuff, especially if it is harmful. That is true, whether or not the story supports my own point of view.

So call me a saint. :) No, but in my lifetime I have heard enough UNtruth masquerading as its opposite to have no patience at all with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 01:31 AM

I don't have any problem with your reactions to the incident, Ebbie.

I often encounter people who believe something utterly contrary to what I believe about politics...or anything else under the sun. I might speak up and voice my own opinion, I might not. Depends on the situation, and whether I think it'll do any good or make any difference...or whether I can be bothered to at the time. We have the "right" to do anything we want to (within reason)...because we have free will. We don't have a "duty" to argue with people over stuff, I don't think...but we do have the option to, and the right to, if we want to. If I thought I had a duty to argue with people over politics, I'd never get any time for anything else...(grin)...if you see what I mean.

And there might be a handful of people on this forum who have just that problem...though I'm not suggesting you're one of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 02:22 AM

Politics is not a dirty word. To coin a phrase. I just wish that on a local level more people would go into it. We tend to have the same mouths out there for decades at a time, and given the corruptive effect that 'easy' money has on most people it is not surprising that politics has such a bad reputation.

I like to discuss politics, as long as the participants have a certain detachment. The problem is when a person has a strong opinion on a certain subject or a particular politician and gets into a discussion with someone else who has an equally strong but *opposite* opinion on the matter; an ugly meltdown is quite possible.

But I still cannot stand fear mongers, especially when they don't know what the double hell they're talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Musket sans respectability
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 03:04 AM

Do you ever lose your temper? Only when I get into a bar room fight.








I once lost my woman overnight for that matter. .

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 05:07 AM

I'm a bit of a wuss, as I try to avoid confrontations if possible, and usually keep mum and grind my teeth. I also tend to 'remove myself' (ie flounce off the scene without a sound) This is because usually people are so entrenched in their fixed ideas and opinions, you can't budge them and only end up in a ding-dong screaming match which is undignified and unprofitable. The other reason I absent myself is that I've inherited a bit of my mother's fiery Irish temper, and when pushed beyond my limits (and everyone has their limits) I will absolutely explode and terrify the local population. This happens very very rarely, but when it does, tha Army is called in. I did this once in a doctor's surgery. The receptionist was totally ignoring a dear, frail old lady patiently waiting for ages at her desk. She was on her mobile having what was obviously a private (and 'interesting') conversation. I blew, and I mean blew. The old lady was attended to. I left.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: akenaton
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 05:20 AM

Hardly ever.....and certainly never on an internet forum.
Eliza...if you usually end up in a ding dong slanging match, then your opinions must be as entrenched and fixed as your opponents?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: number 6
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 06:41 AM

Do I ever lose my temper?

no ... and never have ... well, except for one time and that was many, many, many years ago when I was a young foolish buck and unjustly failed my drivers test the second tieme.

Regarding politiks ... I really don't give a rat's ass anymore ... it will never change ... people are people and as stoopid as they can be at times you just have to let it go.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:09 AM

Since a couple of very unfortunate incidents in my teens and twenties I do try to keep my temper well in check.

In a situation such as Ebbie's I think I might have reacted similarly, but always trying to make sure that it was me, not my temper, who was in charge. Mostly I will not react to idiots - I see it as not being worth the trouble - a 'don't wrestle with a pig' situation.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:21 AM

Everything is relative. Losing one's temper, to me, is verbally or physically attacking another person. I've lost it once when the clown wouldn't have it any other way. I've never started a fight but I ended that one.
Ebbie, I would have confronted that fool and demanded a credible source.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:24 AM

akenaton, you're probably right, so it's just as well I remove myself isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 08:20 AM

Ebbie, am I correct in thinking that what is bothering you is the way you confronted the woman, not the fact that you did confront her?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 09:30 AM

Even though I seem to lose my temper here it's not really losing one's temper... Standing up to bullies and ignorant people isn't losing one's temper... It's standing up...

I rarely lose my temper these days... Before getting into martial arts 30 some years ago I did lose my temper but that kinda taught me that you can defend yourself, your values and your the things and people you care about without losing your temper...

Okay, as in you situation, Eb, it might have looked as if you had lost your temper but if you really had lost it you might have tried to knock this boorish woman on her ignorant ass...

Good on you for not letting her get away with spreading her ignorance...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 10:23 AM

Everyone is free to ask some else to cite their source. I might tell you to look it up yourself -- I looked it up for other people for better'n 40 years and I'm retired now -- but if I do you can bet yer butt that I've done it and you can too.

In all truth, I do not lose my temper in a physical incident. Not only does that cloud your judgement, it slows your ability to defend yourself. I might "lose my temper" over some piece of stupidity I can do nothing about, in which case I simply recognize that the person cannot help themselves because of their heredity, upbringing, lack of morals and ethics, personal hygiene, odd sexual habits, appetite, and/or mental health condidtions -- and sometimes just plain ignorance, which they will never correct because they wallow in it like a pig in a mudhole.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 12:48 PM

"the person cannot help themselves because of their heredity, upbringing, lack of morals and ethics, personal hygiene, odd sexual habits, appetite, and/or mental health condidtions -- and sometimes just plain ignorance, which they will never correct because they wallow in it like a pig in a mudhole."

Stop dissin' me, you flippin' bolthole!!! I will not be in the can forever, eh? My cellmate Ace is lettin' me use his compyuter. I will be back out soon, and I will flipp9n' get bus fair and go out west, find you, and flipp8in' mortalize you!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 01:11 PM

No, I rarely lose my temper. My mum went through a very heavy binge drinking phase for several years, during that time I had to deal with her aggressive abusive behaviour - as she would totally change when drunk into this abusive raging harpy. I learned to shut out verbal aggression from simply enduring her in her cups. If someone angers me now, I just shut them out completely, I'd rather literally turn my back on someone than engage in a squabble with them.

I must confess however that I think my anger is pretty repressed anyway, ever since my childhood. I hate losing control when it happens. Which is what I think you're getting at. The only time I remember really losing my temper, I punched my father in the head several times - he was pretty good about it and soaked it up though bless him!

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 01:12 PM

He said afterwards I give him a couple of "good 'uns"! :D

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 01:19 PM

Yes, Janie, that is what bothers me- I would love to be able to speak from a 'cool' place but starting with "BULLSHIT!" kind of ends that possibility.

Incidentally, the woman - probably in her 40s - didn't raise her voice.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Midchuck
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 02:16 PM

If Jacqui (and Mizchuck) can keep their tempers, no one else has any right to lose his or hers.

In spite of the above, I sometimes lose mine. But I take pains to avoid letting it become physical. I'm a coward as well as being tempermental.

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 02:19 PM

Well, while it is doubtful anything you may have said would have challenged her to rethink her position, you have the wisdom to understand that leading with a hostile "Bullshit!" pretty much ensures no tiny seeds got planted that might eventually germinate.

It happens to all of us on occasion. When confronted with irrational emotion mind on the part of some one else, our own irrational emotion mind leaps out and grabs the steering wheel. When that happens, we usually are not responding to the immediate situation or circumstance, but rather are reacting to cumulative experience and frustration. Much more likely to occur when we are confronted unexpectedly, which is what sounds like happened with you.

If it happens a lot in this kind of situation, and it bothers you, work at learning what the emotions signal for you, and deal with that. Then you will be more likely to decide how, or even if, to respond from your wise mind. If it is a rare occurrence for you to react so strongly, forget about it. You are only human, after all.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Claire M
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 02:21 PM

Hiya,

Yes, when in pain. The slightest thing used to set me off but since moving & encountering people who fly off the handle at the slightest thing this doesn't happen very often.

From my stays in similar places, I've often thought we aren't allowed to show our full range of emotions. Someone who's not disabled is just having a bad day – if we ever get cross it's this huge problem & a RISK.

The OH has a temper on him – it's literally as if mine has evaporated & gone into him – & he hates being told what to do & sudden noise – when he was struggling with something, the staff member that was with him insisted he could manage it, which she does with a lot of us. "I ….can't ….." he slurred, slamming his fist on his chair. She wouldn't stop going on at him. He exploded, to a soundtrack of further comments about how he'd end up in a padded room. Oh, that's really helpful.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 06:48 PM

Getting angry pretty well never helps. Even if you were in a life or death struggle it would get in the way of surviving.

Acting angry might in certain circumstances make sense. This isn't one of them.

But losing it isn't a matter of choice. I suppose it's a mixture of our inbuilt nature and the habits we have developed over the years.

The best way to react to stupid stuff like this would probably to lose it another way, and break out in laughter.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Jun 13 - 07:25 PM

Rarely have I lost my temper. I always have viewed it as counter productive to dealing with a situation, kinda like spinning one's wheels to get traction.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:05 AM

I believe it is like the safety valve on a boiler, when you "Go off" it is relieving the pressure which prevents an explosion. If you keep "Stuffing it", sooner or later you will explode.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: andrew e
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 08:28 AM

Just wondering just what it was about this particular statement that would make someone angry?
What if she had said Elvis was still alive and giving concerts every week in Atlantis!
How about Paul McCartney died in the 1960's and was replaced by someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 08:34 AM

Ebbie--

You started great.   All you have to do in a situation like that is keep the sarcasm going.

Supreme Court ruled we cannot assemble.    Be sure to look out for those UN helicopters too---you know, the black ones you always see flying around.    And tell her don't forget to tell everybody al-Queda is responsible for putting fluoride in the water---it was good for the Red Scare, so why not just update? ---(and you know that might well cause sterility). And Obama's going to a conference in Kenya next week so that he can be told what his next step should be in turning the US socialist. Pile on the ridicule til she leaves--or the others she's talking to realize you're slashing her to ribbons.

I agree bad language is not necessary--and sarcasm is actually much more effective (and fun).

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:07 AM

Good question, andrew e. If the woman had been speaking to *me* I would not have got angry. That kind of conversation has happened to me before, quite often actually. My reaction is bemusement, amusement or amazement. But never anger.

But these particular statements - she said more than just what I reported - were made to three elderly men, and were said as if she had access to some truth that they did not.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:24 AM

I find that when I've gotten angry over something, I get all wound up. The person I get angry at doesn't seem to be affected, so there's not much point. I try to avoid conflict as others here have stated, but that can be a problem too. When I hear others get in to heated shouting matches, I'm another one that will tune it out and go elsewhere in my head.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 01:20 PM

I wish.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 03:00 PM

""I believe it is like the safety valve on a boiler, when you "Go off" it is relieving the pressure which prevents an explosion. If you keep "Stuffing it", sooner or later you will explode. ""

Maybe so, if a person has "alot of built up anger", which I suspect some folks, but certainly not all folks have that type of character?

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 04:25 PM

I seldom lose my temper, but I often exercise it.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 06:41 PM

You needed Ron Davies there, Ebbie. He'd have eviscerated the woman with his devastating sarcasm and ridicule, reduced her ego to a bare hollow shell by pointing out her many obvious faults and delusions, then demolished her very sense of human identity, and then blown her clean out of this dimension with a final and utterly damning series of calumnatory personal remarks and astute political observations, backed up by massive factual references complete with annotated footnotes. There'd not even have been enough left of her to spit on. It's called "The Davies Method". Many aspire to it, but few have ever mastered it.

One thing I'd love to have seen is a debate between William F. Buckley Jr and Ron Davies, back when Buckley was in his prime. The sarcasm on both sides would have been enough to paralyze a wolverine.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: GUEST,Kendall
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:26 PM

Tough questions work better than either sarcasm or anger. It's like holding a mirror up so the person can see a fool.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:51 PM

There are times to be angry, and probably times to act angry even if maybe you aren't. But there's never a time when losing your temper, meaning you aren't in command of yourself, is a good idea.

The difference is between something you do, and something that happens to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 07:53 PM

Sarcasm works just fine. It's ridicule--and, as Mudcatters should know, humor can be more devastating than anything else.    And some (LH, perhaps) never forget it. He may have even learned how.    Imitation is.....

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Janie
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:03 PM

Well said, McGrath.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 13 - 11:37 PM

Heh! You are so right, Ron. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: akenaton
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 05:15 AM

The biter is often bit Ron....never forget it!   :0o!!

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 08:04 AM

All you have to do is have the facts on your side.    If you do, sarcasm is perfect.

You don't, for instance, ascribe all the ills of the world to either capitalism or religion, nor claim that all political parties are the same.

If you do, you can't possibly win any debate.

Ebbie is in a strong position.   Some others are not.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: akenaton
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:01 AM

One must also be capable of recognising irony in others.

Sometimes "sarcasm" can be a double edged weapon....take a lesson from an expert. :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:24 AM

It is also useful to be able to recognize yourself in a mirror--even if it's not your mirror.

Subject: RE: BS: Do You Ever Lose Your Temper?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 25 Jun 13 - 09:34 AM

"lesson from an expert".    Where?    Is there one around?    And for this you can step away from your mirror.