BS: Cat farts.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Feb 01 - 05:22 PM

Liquid and solid crap don't have much to do with music, but with gas phase, just maybe, you could train your cat to fart something simple like "Taps". "Kitten on the keys" would perhaps be expecting a little too much.

I've never measured the density of cat farts, so don't know what the velocity of sound and resulting frequencies would be. You may even invent a new key that way. Cows fart methane, and they might be good for a harmony part for the tune.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Feb 01 - 05:26 PM

The winds blow high, the winds blow low....

Blow the wind southerly.....

They call the wind Maria.....

The possibilities of songs about wind are endless.... plus all that potential woodwind power.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 27 Feb 01 - 09:11 PM

Dear Inukshuk,

Would you allow me please to include your story on The Mudcat Storytellers' Page? That way, you could share your concern with many more 'Catters (so to speak).

And I have to agree with Little Hawk -- canine flatulence (a/k/a CSBD Syndrome) is much more prevalent and 'emphatic' than FSBD Syndrome. A recent example of which I can relate is -- Last week, our estate agent came by with a contract to sell our house. Champ, our wonderful Dalmoxer, was not in the house, and, as Champ has become quite fond of said estate agent, the estate agent asked where he was. Worried and embarrassed glances were then exchanged between Dear Hubby and myself. However, we finally admitted that Champ had been banned to the backyard because of his nervous tummy. Last night, the same agent was by the house, and nervous and embarrassed glances were once exchanged between myself and Dear Hubby, as we held our breath (so to speak), hoping that Champ (who was all over the agent) would not make him a victim of his occassional CSBDS . . . but, that's another story . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: cowboypoet
Date: 28 Feb 01 - 03:39 PM

Of our seven -- Jake, Lucy, Moose and Squirrel (honest to God it's a coincidence), Tosca, Charles Manson, and the Exalted Bhat, only one has ever had a flatulence problem, and of course it would have to be "my" cat -- the one who always wants to sit on my lap, facing toward my feet with her tail in the air of course. Tosca (a gay friend of mine maintains I'm the only straight guy in the world with a cat named after an opera) could kill trees at 30 paces with one cheek tied behind her. Finally, on the recommendation of a friend we tried feeding her Precise cat food. We get it at the local Wild Oats (a natural foods chain). Et voila'. She may still fart but they don't stink or drown out the music I'm listening to so I don't care. Still don't much care to look at her butt, though. Reminds me of Grandma when she was annoyed, which was all of her waking moments.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 28 Feb 01 - 03:59 PM

Ever picked up a cat, and the pressure has caused a little 'phhhhhhf'?
I truly am sorry for this posting, but it had to be said.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Feb 01 - 04:21 PM

OOOOOOHHH yes, that's how this ALL got started.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 28 Feb 01 - 04:39 PM

Remember - a Tigger is a type of feline, so be glad that the Forum does not have smellyvision (although I'm sure one of you techno whizzkids is working on it as we speak)!!
And does that make me a Mudtigger?......

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Katcina
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 05:17 PM

Aine,
How do we access The Mudcat Storytellers' Page without having your blue clicky. I've tried everything I can think of and keep having to come back to this to gain access.
Thanks,
Jer'

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Áine
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 07:19 PM

Here's the 'longhand' version, Katcina:

http://www.geocities.com/doireanne/storytellers_index.html

Enjoy!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 02 Mar 01 - 09:39 AM

I knew this thread would be a good one... good for a laugh. So I saved it til Friday afternoon to have a read...

Excellent, cheered me up!

Ella

My cats don't fart.... They are little angels

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: GUEST,Carol's Friend Don
Date: 02 Mar 01 - 12:09 PM

You guys must have little cats in Europe. Genghis Khat weighed over 28 pounds and lived in the horse barn. He was all black and had a face like a gorilla, wide with large nostrils. My favorite picture of him is stretched over the seats of two ladderback chairs set side by side. I used to tell my neighbors to wrap their female kitties in duct tape, so they wouldn't explode when he boinked them.

He slept on the rear quarters of the Dartmoor pony and would drop off onto the grain rats as they tried to scarf up the sweet feed dropped by the horses. No rodent ever suffered, and was consumed immediately, with a shake that disloged the spleen and literally nothing else.

He used to leave rabbit heads still upright in the front yard, as though they were just emerging from the ground. In the morning I would have to police them up before my daughter went out to wait for the school bus.

Thee only time he ever farted at all was right after I would give him a pill, which was relatively easier than some of the above accounts. I simply tossed him into an old sea bag and tied off his head as it emerged. While holding the bag with padded gloves (no fool I!) I would stick a turkey baster, preloaded with the pill and some bacon grease to seal the calibre, into his mouth with one hand, and then stomp on the bulb. The recoil would stuff him back into the bag, which I would then quickly toss into the yard.

Sometimes he would stay in the bag and sulk for a couple of hours, though one time the neighbor's young son and his German Shepherd, "Panzer" tried to open the bag. The boy gave the best description of a cat and dog fight I've ever heard. He said "Mister, it looked like "Panzer" was wearing a dog suit, and the cat was trying to pull it off over his head". (Remember, the best way to stop a dog from chasing cats, is to let him catch one...)

My Irish Setters were much worst, though they would give clear warning of an impending toxic release into the atmosphere. Any time the "feathers"(long fur on the hindquarters of a sporting breed) straightened out and pointed to the rear of the dog, you needed to evacuate the room, slam the door, and then duct tape the keyhole. But, even that had some advantage. As long as only the dogs were left in the room, it killed all the flies.

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: rangeroger
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 12:29 AM

It's time to resurrect this.

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 01:09 AM

thread: Cat Farts / ads: Save Endangered Wildlife: "We take action to protect & educate worldwide. Learn how you can help!" and "The Green Guide, The Source for Eco-Friendly Advice. Product Reviews, Shopping Tips."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Oct 03 - 03:10 AM

Oh, it's like talking to an old friend again after months apart!

I regret to say that the two newbie cats (who aren't so newbie, they are rapidly approaching their second anniversary with me) have continued the traditions. Amber the tortoiseshell has a delicate little botty, which, although malodourous, has never been violently offensive. Max the black and white twit has an arse that is evil incarnate. He also has dodgy back legs (both hips broken when a kitten) so can't jump down and get out the room so well. I solve it by leaving him and getting myself out.

Oh, and to link (although not physically) with another thread - Shadow sat on the stove last night and burned her arsehairs. Tradition means a lot in our house!

LTS