Mudcat Friendships

Subject: Mudcat Friendships
From: Mathew Raymond
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 03:42 PM

How often are real friendships generated through this site? Does anyone ever get together and jam some good ol' folk tunes?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 03:49 PM

In 16+ years, there have been many. Jamming depends on where you are, but in the Wash DC area there is all you could want search FSGW Getaway)... as in certain parts of New England... and lots in Olde England.

so... where are YOU?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Mathew Raymond
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 05:18 PM

Unfortunately I'm across the river from detroit so awful rap music is most of what my area listens too. So sad

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Joe Offer
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 05:44 PM

That's the advantage of an online community, Matthew. You can live in Amherstberg and get to know folkies all over the world. Hey, is the Jones Soda Shop still in Amherstberg?
-Joe Offer, California descendant of the Ouelettes of Windsor-
(the family farm house is now a striptease joint)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 05:45 PM

Detroit... hmmm.. there is music in Canada that would be closer....except... hmmm... a member who lives closer... in Detroit area.. is Big Mick, a long time member who knows the area and is involved in Celtic music.
Unfortunately, he had some recent medical issues, so is not getting out much right now. It 'might' be possible later to contact him and get some ideas.

Perhaps others know of some contacts in the meantime.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendshipsytime you are coming over th
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 07:03 PM

Any time you are across the pond let me know - 5 Miles from Heathrow !
Lots of Jamming in London as well as more formal Club Stuff .

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 07:19 PM

Yep - I NEARLY got to play with Big Al Whittle once (but as a joke he sent me to an country and Western club in stead) and I've had a little 3-person pub session with Sue Allan (plus a non-catter), and many good sessions in the GI with anyone and everyone and some parties in London, found 2 clubs in Nottingham when I was visiting. And I've even played support to Leadfingers.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Joe Offer
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 07:27 PM

I've been a Mudcatter since January, 1997 - not quite as long as Bill D. I've met people online and then met dozens of them in person. I think I've met well over 200 Mudcatters in person - from North America, Europe, and even Australia.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 07:27 PM

Go to the Getaway in October and you'll meet us all...well, a hell of a lot of us. And yes, we jam a bit. All night. Every night.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 08:09 PM

Beer from La Belle Province dropped by for a night of song and feast on his way through. Amos from Calleeforneeah and his cousin as well. Each night was a wondrous celebration of sharing music, stories and friendship. And these were rare occasions as I am a recluse who avoids company more than a recluse. Aside from that, I maintain internet relationships with friends I have met herein over these dozen or so last years numbering a few score and "more distant" relationships with twice as many.

I even consider Spaw a very close friend although we have never exchanged music, stories or flatulence in person.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 09:24 PM

meeting catspaw/Spaw/Pat

FSGW Getaway 2010

Many people who post at Mudcat in those pics.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 10:18 PM

Friendships?
Don't want to put you off, Matthew, but there have been at least two marriages through meeting on this site :)

And lots and LOTS of music making of all varieties!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 10:59 PM

I met a few....but there are so many more that I wish to meet....and some I wish I had, but will never get the chance.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Dennis the Elder
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:16 PM

Yorkshire Mudcat Gatherings have resulted in many friendships and rekindling of old friendships. Recently annually, however, unfortunately, not in 2013, hope Mr and Mrs Duck and the ducklings can arrange one this year.
Dennis

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:50 PM

I've met a few mudcatters. I think I've jammed with a couple, though I've mostly talked to the others.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: My guru always said
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 04:14 AM

In the UK we have 'MudGathers' at several Folk Festivals each year which are allocated a time and a venue and programmed in as part of the Festival. I host some of them and they are an excellent way of hooking up with MudCatters from around the UK and also Worldwide. And eating chocolate, but that's another story *grin*

Several years ago our Beloved Max came over to the UK and I helped to organise a whirlwind tour for him. While he was here he met up with what must have felt like zillions of MudCatters. His feet barely touched the ground on Max's Grand Escapade! I'm not sure he's ever forgiven me....

The FSGW Getaway is a fabulous event and you would meet many MudCatters there, with occasional visits from UK'ers. Do try to get there and be prepared to make music all night long!

Good luck with your hunt for fine music and friends!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Allan C.
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 08:42 AM

We are a gregarious lot, actually. There have been Mudgatherings of one sort or another for about a decade and a half and many, many more less formal jams and singarounds. No small number of these have resulted in great friendships and as Noreen pointed out, at least a couple of marriages. Thanks to the Mudcat and such gatherings I have at least nodding acquaintance, if not abiding friendship with some of the finest folk enthusiasts on the planet.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 08:45 AM

Richard - lets work on sharing a stage soon!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,sciencegeek
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 09:05 AM

it's been my experience that the folk community has always been open and friendly ...

a fair number of folks I've known casually over the years, I now know better through Mudcat... and it's been fun sitting in gatherings at Mystic & matching faces with mudcat names... lol

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Nick
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 02:50 PM

Yes

Met a lot of people from Hull/East Yorkshire

And Cornwall
And Bedfordshire

And I met Richard Bridge in Beverley

And Scotland
And I met Jack Campin leaving a session in Whitby which is a regret

Anytime I'm going anywhere and want to find somewhere to play, I come here I post and people help me.

what more could you want?

Are we big lifelong friends? Probably not. But we are good acquaintances at least which is a good start

Off down the road to play with a mudcat acquaintance in about 15 minutes

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Allan C.
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 08:51 PM

Perhaps some of what is mentioned in this article might be of help.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: bbc
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 12:50 AM

In the eastern U. S., quite a few of us attend the Old Songs Festival each June near Albany, NY. Some folks, like Bill Sables, have attended from the UK. People have opened their homes on both sides of the pond, just on the basis of people being Mudcatters. It's been a great experience, through the years!

Best,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 05:43 AM

As I don't move in folkie circles I haven't had many opportunities to meet Mudcatters in the flesh (so to speak!). I met a few at the UK Stoney Stratford meet many moons ago and also a couple at Skiffle gigs in Twickenham and Caversham. I looked up Steve Parkes when we were on holiday in the IOW and Leadfingers occasionaly drops in to my local venue but I have also made many friends I've never met in person and benefited from their generous gifts and advice over the years.

RtS

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,surreysinger
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 06:43 AM

My friendship and subsequent musical partnership with Ralph Jordan,whose funeral was on Monday, was probably partly due to Mudcat, as we met at a barn dance in Surrey.It was the last gig of the Bismarcks, and he had a part to play at the end of it,and had time to kill. We ended up chatting,and I commented on his forthcoming retirement on his job with the BBC,which surprised him. I had to explain that he had posted about it here, and tell him my Mudcat name and he jokingly offered to come and accompany me on some songs. That was the start of the friendship, and eventually the joke became reality,and we worked together for too short a while. In the year before he died we were talking about making a CD of the work we had done together,but sadly that's obviously not going to happen now.It was a good friendship, and some good music came out of it.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,John from "Elsie`s Band"
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 10:01 AM

It was through Mudcat we got to meet Charles Ipcar and Judy from Maine and a very pleasant acquaintance it turned out to be.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Claire M
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:31 AM

Hiya,

No matter what you're into, deep abiding f'ships v rare anyway. Which 1 is Spaw ?? & the lady on this side => that long skirt of yours is lovely.

Since I am also on Talkawhile I did ask 1 of the ladies who took me to Moonhenge re this, she is a bit scary!! She said it wouldn't be safe cos although *I* might have my wits about me& know when something isn't quite right w/ someone, my flatmates don't/won't. Irritating but I spose it's only like parents looking out for you.

Still I sing, bonny boys, etc.

True story; had visit from mum's friend who I had cited as starting me on my musical journey. I'd organised a shopping trip but was told I couldn't go cos it was raining, which wasn't safe for my (indoor/outdoor though thoroughly crap) wheelchair. The sun's streaming through my window @ this point. I think to myself, something's not right here. Mum's friend turns up, w/ an aura round him I wish I had; cue lots of mouths hanging open, faffing about to get pix etc., while we looked @ each other totally confused.

He'd told everyone he was an old rock star. His last name happens to be Knight. Since my devotion to a certain bunch of folk-rock stalwarts, 1 of whose last name is (was now) also Knight is well-known, there'd been a bit of a mix-up. ☻

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 02:29 PM

Down here is southern Quebec, where I spend about a third of my time, there are a number of mudcatters. It is through a mix of mudcat and myspace, and whim, that I ended up here almost 5 years ago. Due to this confluence, I knew a few people before I arrived and was delighted to meet, in person, those whom I had met on line.

Are most mudcatters where the music is? Or do they start making the music happen wherever they are? A non-mudcat musician friend who lives in the wilds of British Columbia, has a music night at his home most weeks. It only takes a beginning to start finding there are musicians wherever you are, just waiting for a chance to share their music.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 08:07 PM

Jerry and Ruth Rasmussen

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 08:16 PM

I am one of the 'Catters who married as a result of being on this site. Kendall and I were married by Sandy Paton, a friend and Mudcatter, in Connecticut and then had our wedding reception, arranged by other Mudcatters, at the Getaway.

As a result of using Mudcat I now have very good friends in many parts of the world. Some I have met and the friendships survive, even though we are separated by the miles. Some I haven't met, but they are still what I would consider to be good, lasting friendships. I have mourned the loss of some of my Mudcat friends and celebrated the joys of others.

This site totally changed my life and led me to close friendships that I could not have dreamt of fifteen years ago.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 08:57 PM

Spaw is in the purple shirt... and the skirt belongs to my wife, Rita..who occasionally posts as Ferrara.

We stopped in Columbus,Ohio while returning to the East Coast from St. Louis, and met Catspaw/Pat & his wife & son for lunch... and had a great time! After years of talking here, it was easy to say hello in person.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Dennis the Elder
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 09:06 PM

Jacqui, I had the pleasure of hearing and meeting you and Kendall at the Yorkshire gathering together with many other mudcatters. Hope you are both doing well and are maybe popping over to see us again sometime.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 10:01 PM

I haven't met hundreds of the members in person yet, but I'm up to at least fifteen. So far every live encounter has been a positive experience, and several have led to very meaningful friendships.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 10:40 PM

Can't call them friendships yet, but I've met some Mudcatters and it was a pleasure to do so.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Claire M
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 06:31 AM

Hiya,

Need somewhere to go when Talkawhile's quiet. Sadly no good talking to flatmates re music esp. – they're just not that interested. Mind you a lot of 'em don't seem to be interested in much of anything – I've tried. /P'raps it's just me they don't like ☻. I know this sounds daft, but this place is a Godsend.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 08:44 AM

I knew a couple mudcatters before I knew their mudcat names. That'd be you, Mooh. I knew Art Thieme before the days of mudcat. I met many catters at Old Songs and stayed with Maryff in the Richmond area. Looking forward to meeting more.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: kendall
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 09:26 AM

Too many to count.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 09:30 AM

Has anybody made the experience "wow, in person s/he is quite different from how s/he appears at Mudcat!"? Similar effects are known from other sites, often caused by obvious personal interests such as commercial promotion or erotic dating. Leaving these aside, is there a difference between "oral" and "digital" appearance? And do you feel (as I do) that sometimes the "digital person" can be even more "real" than the "oral" one?

"His personal acquaintances describe him as a nice guy," we read in reports about spree killers, terrorists, child molesters, and other monstrous criminals.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 11:08 AM

Sure Grishka... it's almost impossible to really get a full impression from just online/Mudcat. One thing is 'physical appearance. If you spent 3-4 years imagining a tall, thin guy of 50, and he turns out to be short, round and 75, it can be a shock.
Also, some people just 'project' themselves differently in person. There was one person who quite impressed me for several years here, but when I finally met them in person they seemed very reserved and didn't seem to interact with a 'live' group too well.
Another person had personal issues that were not that apparent in posts, but were expressed in very sad ways in a group.
Then...*smile*... there were people who were even MORE delightful in person and made me wish they didn't have to go home again.


It is true that some let their *digital* personality go places that they'd not easily express in face-to-face meetings. You can probably think of examples.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Charmion
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 03:36 PM

When I met Bill D in person, he was just as I thought he would be. Likewise Charlie Baum. Big Mick, however, turned out to be about normal size.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 03:57 PM

Living in Hull, Yorks there are scores of catters within shouting distance, but it's really great to be chatting with and exchanging ideas with catters all around the world!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 04:49 PM

I'm a success! *big grin* I always hope I will be found to be like I try to be.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 07:10 PM

I *think* I am the same in person as I am in here. I mean, if someone was a guest in my house and said some of the things that have been said to me or about me in here, the resulting reaction from me would be the same and, in certain cases over the years, include physical ejection from my abode in rather rough fashion. If anyone knows the history of certain "troll attacks" over the last dozen years, then they know of which I speak. If ya don't, don't judge me.

So that's my take on me online versus in person. A gnu or a vicious opponent if you mess with me or anyone else when you have no grounds to do so. Many people have taken me to task for this. Some are not allowed to post here anymore.

I dunno why the discussion drifted to Grishka's and Bill's posts but that's my two cents on that.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: PHJim
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 07:28 PM

While I have met and jammed with some mudcat members, I didn't meet any of them through Mudcat. I have been a member for five years and posted as GUEST:Jim for a few years prior to that after having it recommended to me by Rick Fielding. Since very few of the folks here use their real names, I may have met some and not realised it.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 07:32 PM

I always get the impression that the Catters who are ACTIVE in the music tend to be decent peeps (Though I DO know a couple of exceptions)
and 'On Line' personalities can be VERY different to actual personalities .
The Getaway is certainly an excellent place to meet other Catters as well as the superb singers and musicians from the Washington Society

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Mo the caller
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:33 AM

Lots to think about in this thread.
Yes most of the friendships we make through folk music and dancing are really more 'aquaintances', sharing what we enjoy doing. But the more aquaintances we have the more chance of finding friends when we need each other.
The folk community is generous, both in person and online. I found the value of it before I knew about Mudcat - in a strange town (Beverley) suddenly after a night at Nellies or the Hull folk dance club, there were people who said hello in the High Street. It made a difficult situation bearable. Also in Cheshire where callers and musicians encouraged and mentored me when I was starting to call, and put up with my wrong notes in sessions.
Mudcat is a great way in to all this. Helps us find out what's on in our locality and places we are visiting. Means that the familiar faces we see at festivals are easier to put names to.
Through Mudcat, as well as musical advice I've also had some of the other things you get from friends -
warning of roadworks on the way to a festival
sheet music posted across the Atlantic
contact with a band who I enjoy calling with
mackerel (delivered at a session recommended on Mudcat and cooked in my holiday flat).

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:47 AM

Where does "good acquaintance" end and "real friendship" begin?

I've met loads of Mudcatters in real life and started attending several regular local (and not quite so local) sessions and singarounds as a result of Mudcatters' encouragement.

I even met Max on his great "UK Tour".

I've had people I'd not met in real life at that point do me big favours (one of note being Sylvia Needham's saving me tickets for Russ Barenberg's intimate pub back-room gig in Derbyshire the night after I'd seen him play the Festival Hall with the full Transatlantic Sessions mob, and making sure they were the best seats in the room...possibly because I was travelling 185 miles each way just for the gig).

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 09:48 AM

I *think* I am the same in person as I am in here

Most of us do and are. The effect on others can still be different between readers of Mudcat messages and personal acquaintances. Writing messages to threads allows us to do more thinking than if we had to reply immediately (as in oral conversation or online chats). Some of us use this opportunity to reveal aspects of their personality which may go unnoticed otherwise. This may be intentional or not, to their advantage or disadvantage.

The very few Mudcatters I know in person are those who lured me here. Nevertheless, I have the feeling as if I knew some others, just from their messages, better than I know some other people I often meet in person. Physical appearance, voice, etc. can be deceiving, as everybody knows.

Of course, some choose to disguise themselves in Mudcat as well, for verious reasons. The most obvious example is a lady who fights for a do-gooder agenda but chooses a different GUEST nickname when she feels like insulting others (in desperate self-defence, as she probably believes). "Astroturfing" is another famous example. Like most kinds of deception, this one seems easier than it is, and takes a lot of planning to be really successful.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 10:07 AM

who was that masked man riding away...?

its the Lone Mudcatter! And we never even got to thank him....

He wears a mask to fight for justice!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: skarpi
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 11:50 AM

Jabb ...friends all over and I can´t wait to see you all again
at the Getaway .
and also in Uk ...

all the best Skarpi Iceland .

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Nick
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 12:45 PM

One of the first person I met in real life from Mudcat asked me what my name was on Mudcat and I said - 'it's Nick'

They were so surprised.

I never got that.

I think that Joe Offer is called Joe - and I'm guessing that Bill D may be called Bill.

But who knows?

One day going through the Midlands I will knock on Al Whittle's door

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Charmion
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 02:43 PM

And Charmion is really called Charmion. Who knew?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Claire M
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 02:57 PM

Hiya,

Re-discovering childhood favourites led me here. When I find a good band, book etc. I need someone to "Rave On" to.

Where I now live you just don't get that. We all have our lil things; I've got my love for said childhood favourite, (♥§ ♥) my love of fantasy, my iffy plumbing ☻ etc.; a flatmate loves to make model planes; another likes to weave; but there's very little overlap -– & to be honest, were I to be woken up by the news that I was to be evicted I would miss less than a handful.

Musicians been my companions
i'll love them till I die
Musicians been my companions
I'll love them all until I die
Cos most all of my flatmates
Don't take notice if I cry

I found this place
Now I don't feel so poor
I found this place
Now I don't feel so poor
I love my companions
Now I done got a few more

~ me

Subject: RE: Mudcat Friendships
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:10 PM

Most of the Mudcatters I know are people I knew already anyway, and found out, through various channels, such as general conversation/wearing Mudcat T-shirts, or going to Mudgathers, that they were Catters too.
I've had a few surprises, and still guessing at the identity of some, whereas some have been surprised to find out who I was, having me down for a beardy male!
I also joined the Scottish forum, Footstompin, a few years after joining Mudcat, and used the same pseudonym, tho' through general chat and various pseudonym amnesties, more people know who everyone us now.
And now we also have the Facebook Mudcat page on which more people use their real names.