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Lyr Add: Poaching In Excelsis (G. K. Menzies)

Jack Campin 13 Jun 14 - 07:08 PM
Uncle_DaveO 13 Jun 14 - 07:43 PM
Jack Campin 13 Jun 14 - 07:48 PM
Uncle_DaveO 13 Jun 14 - 08:09 PM
Seamus Kennedy 13 Jun 14 - 08:12 PM
GUEST,Anne Neilson 14 Jun 14 - 03:27 AM
GUEST,Anne Neilson 14 Jun 14 - 12:08 PM
GUEST 14 Jun 14 - 04:07 PM
Gallus Moll 14 Jun 14 - 06:45 PM
GUEST,henryp 15 Jun 14 - 08:24 AM
GUEST 15 Jun 14 - 02:19 PM
GUEST,Mark Bluemel 16 Jun 14 - 05:58 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: POACHING IN EXCELSIS (G. K. Menzies)
From: Jack Campin
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 07:08 PM

This is from a broadside in the "Poet's Box" series, published by the Sanderson family in Scotland in the late 19th century. (They had branches in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee; this copy is in Edinburgh Public Library). This is the complete text on the sheet. A pencil note says: In "Readings and Recitations" (Charles Sanderson). No tune is suggested and I don't recognize this as parodying any known song.

POACHING UP-TO-DATE

                   --------------------------
["Two men were fined £120 a-piece for poaching white
             rhinoceroses" -- TIMES OF AFRICA.]
                   --------------------------

I've poached a pickle pairtricks when the leaves were turnin' sear,
I've poached a twa-three hares an' grouse, an' mebbe whiles a deer,
But, oh, it seems an inco' unco' thing, an' juist a wee mysterious,
Hoo any mortal could contrive to poach a rhinocerious.

I've crackit wi' the keeper, pockits packed wi' pheasants' eggs,
An' a ten pun' salmon hanging doon in baith my trooser legs,
But eh, I doot effects wu'd be a wee thing deleterious,
Gin you should stow intil your breeks a brace o' rhinocerious.

I mind hoo me and Wullie shot a Royal in Braemar,
An' brocht him doon tae Athol by the licht o' mune an' star,
An' eh, sirs, but the canny beast contrived to fash an' weary us--
But staigs maun be but bairn's play by a weel-grown rhinocerious.

I thocht I kent o' poaching juist as muckle 's ither men,
But there is still a twa three things I doot I dinna ken,
An noo I canna rest, my brain grows that deleerious,
Tae win awa' tae Africa an' poach a rhinocerious.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 07:43 PM

Beautiful!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: Jack Campin
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 07:48 PM

I tried to proofread that thoroughly but line 3 should have "unco'" for "inco'". (Can an elf fix it?)
    Fixed it, Jack. The poem gave me a good laugh. I saw a couple of Royals in Braemar last year. They looked mighty tasty, but I resisted...
    -Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 08:09 PM

I recognized the "inco"-"unco" goof.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 08:12 PM

I wish there was a "like" button on the Cat.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST,Anne Neilson
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 03:27 AM

The late John Eaglesham (Scottish concertina player with The Clutha and Stramash groups) put a tune to this and added a chorus of his own:-

                   Hey, man! Dae ye think I'm joking?
                   Haw, naw -- but I'm serious!
                   In the jungle there's nae doot the polis dinnae hing aboot
                   When ye're lifting rhinocerious.

His performances were a joy to behold -- he would rise onto his toes at the end of the verses and hold a long note before landing back onto his heels, which was the sign for accompanists to pick up the rhythm for the choruses. (Everyone in Stramash would be watching his feet to get their cue!)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST,Anne Neilson
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 12:08 PM

Wee correction to the chorus quoted above -- the last two lines should read

                   In the jungle there's nae doot they poachers dinnae hing aboot
                   When they're lifting rhinocerious.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 04:07 PM

GUEST, ATM
The poem, Poaching in Excelsis, is by G.K.Menzies, a doctor who spent some time as a general practitioner in Fife. He was also a frequent contributor of light verse to the magazine "Punch" in the early years of the 20th century.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 06:45 PM

Guest, you have saved me a rake through my Dad's papers -- he used to perform Poaching in Excelsis at kirk soirees and the like (don't know if he sang or recited it?) and I am sure there is a newspaper cutting of an article about 'the doctor who wrote it' and other pieces -- perhaps originally as contributions to the students' fundraising magazine for charities day? (or did I make that bit up - may have to rake through the papers after all!)

I agree with Anne N, John Eaglesham's performance of this song was indeed a sight to behold!

There is available a cd of some of John's songs, being sold as a charity fundraiser- - Anne may be able to give more details of how to obtain one, failing which I shall find out and post the info.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 08:24 AM

We need more songs about rhinos and hippos!

I'm trying to be greener every day, everyday
Just a little cleaner, in every way
If I could save a flower,
I would switch to solar power
But it rains day after day, I don't know when
We're ever going to see the sun again

I'm trying to be greener every day, everyday
Just a little cleaner, in every way
I'm planting pulses row by row
Just to keep my food miles low
Don't fly your beans through Heathrow any more
Let runner beans run up to your back door

I'm trying to be greener every day, everyday
Just a little cleaner, in every way
I'd like to save the gnu and kangaroo
The birds and bees, the chimpanzees
The lofty lark, the great white shark
The earthly worm, the pachyderm
And - oh yes - me and you


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 02:19 PM

Poaching a rhinoceros?

Firstly, vist your local headhunters and borrow their missionary soup pot. Half fill it with water, and set it on a fire to boil. Add a bouquet garni, a stick of celery, and two chopped carrots.
Then, skin your rhino and dice. Add to the pot and poach for ten minutes.
Season to taste.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: When rhinoceros poaching was funny
From: GUEST,Mark Bluemel
Date: 16 Jun 14 - 05:58 AM

"Then, skin your rhino and dice. "
This is the problem with poaching them - you waste the skin and the wonderful crackling...


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