BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??

Subject: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: GUEST,Claire M
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 02:21 PM

Close f'ships – what do you want/need??

Hiya! People to talk re common interests w/?? People who help you when you need it?? There's loads of people to do the latter here, & I get the former @ my Pagan group. I've always got on better w/ men, envied how they can bond over common ground.

My aunty's Italian neighbour has a daughter who is profoundly disabled. She doesn't talk but screams instead. I'm not sure whether she knows/cares if she's socially isolated.

I''ve had daemons/pookas round me since I was young (parents know – 1 helped me through stressful times & I want to see him again), & I write, & can occupy myself quite happily.

I've been reading re a woman who had only 3 people in her social circle, which = socially isolated. I suppose my flatmates would be in mine, but if they're mostly people you don't/can't really socialise/have anything in common w/, & wouldn't miss if you never saw again, do they count??

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 02:47 PM

Ah! "close friendships"- I suddenly figured it out. I was thinking in terms of ships closing... :)

I think that we all have acquaintances that we wouldn't miss if they were gone. It certainly was true for me in the first 3/4 of my life (assuming that I won't live until I'm 130 or so). Since I've lived in Alaska, though, there are scads of people in my life that I treasure to one degree or another. And then, there are people I would miss achingly- the older I get, the more I have of those.

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 02:54 PM

Yes, I also was very curious about the title and thought of star trek things... We need a group of a certain number that we know well enough not to have to work with our minds to anticipate their usual behavior... hope that helps! I never met Spaw but I wept at the loss of him.

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 03:46 PM

"Do not charge a huge ship at full speed in an attempt to scare it off. This may work with coyotes, but it is less effective with huge ships." From, How to Avoid Huge Ships, John W Trimmer

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 04:04 PM

When I read the thread title I guessed the OP immediately.

In my experience, the closer you look at a friendship, the less you know how close it really is. Normally the question does not raise itself at all. In surprising circumstances, however, we may ask ourselves whom to trust and to ask for a really great favour. I am not sure at all which of my friendships would stand that test - "a friend in need" -, and I would be very happy never to find out. Not that I have never been in need of a favour, just not badly enough to safely distinguish between a friendly person and "a friend indeed".

Each friendship is as unique as the persons involved. Often we cannot say which one is closer than the other; in every pairing we share different experiences and different topics in which we understand one another closely.

The secret of a good friendship is that either partner takes a genuine interest in the true personality of the other. A pact for mutual help may be included, but it is a different thing.

Spaw: yes. Here's to him! I only exchanged a couple of bytes with him, so he must almost count as an "imaginary friend" of mine, but may he live in our hearts!

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 04:21 PM

With my closest friends I can be entirely myself, warts and all, and still be accepted and loved for who I truly am. We also care deeply about eachother's well-being, and are prepared to make a big effort to help out when things are bad. My friends and I also trust eachother implicitly; not to disclose things told 'in confidence' for example. One of my dearest friends died four years ago, and I still miss her terribly. I don't think one needs to have friends with exactly the same interests, as it can get a bit boring. My friends are all different, and from different walks of life, but with one or two shared hobbies or outlets. I like to 'be there' for them when troubles come, and they are always there for me too.

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 06:12 PM

Wonderful post, Grishka.

Subject: RE: BS: Close f'ships: what do you want/need??
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 06:35 PM

My closest friend I've known for about 17 years and I can share anything with him and him with me, non judgmental respect for each other. We have some differences on the things that we like but willing to explore each other's liking for certain things like music, comedy whatever. The great thing is we are at the end of the phone if either of us are down or at a loose end. It's great and a genuine friendship and it will always be so.