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BS: Prophetic Goating

Jack the Sailor 20 Jul 14 - 07:32 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 20 Jul 14 - 08:11 PM
Bill D 20 Jul 14 - 08:17 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 20 Jul 14 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 14 - 08:36 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 20 Jul 14 - 08:42 PM
GUEST,# 20 Jul 14 - 09:18 PM
Ebbie 20 Jul 14 - 09:38 PM
Janie 20 Jul 14 - 10:31 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 20 Jul 14 - 10:57 PM
Stilly River Sage 20 Jul 14 - 11:28 PM
GUEST,leeneia 21 Jul 14 - 10:08 AM
Ed T 21 Jul 14 - 10:28 AM
Mrrzy 21 Jul 14 - 12:03 PM
Don Firth 21 Jul 14 - 12:47 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 21 Jul 14 - 02:34 PM
Don Firth 21 Jul 14 - 04:14 PM
GUEST 21 Jul 14 - 06:57 PM
Mrrzy 21 Jul 14 - 11:39 PM
LadyJean 22 Jul 14 - 12:14 AM
Musket 22 Jul 14 - 05:41 AM
Ed T 22 Jul 14 - 06:20 AM
GUEST,big al whittle 22 Jul 14 - 07:26 AM
Ed T 22 Jul 14 - 07:47 AM
freda underhill 22 Jul 14 - 08:21 AM
Jim Carroll 22 Jul 14 - 11:19 AM
LadyJean 23 Jul 14 - 12:23 AM
Jack the Sailor 23 Jul 14 - 08:25 AM
Jack the Sailor 23 Jul 14 - 08:28 AM
Musket 23 Jul 14 - 09:15 AM
Mrrzy 23 Jul 14 - 12:54 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 23 Jul 14 - 03:54 PM
Ed T 23 Jul 14 - 04:06 PM
LadyJean 23 Jul 14 - 11:58 PM

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Subject: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 07:32 PM

I have an idea for a small home business based upon information gleaned from another unnamed thread.

I get a goat which eats the poison ivy around my property. I put an ad in craigs list. Have your fortune read by a goat turd reader. I ask the person you bring a person to bring a personal item. (Apparently goats will eat nearly anything.)   and once it passed through the goat I put on a silk robe an turban and read the scat patterns for predictive patterns and indications of future fortune.

To be frank, I am doing this to get around the prohibition against livestock in the city limits. If I make the goat managing partner, I think I have that covered. I don't really see any flaws in this plan. Would you all give me feedback please. Breed of goat for coastal North Carolina, size and sex of goat and of course the name are all things which require consideration. Thanks in advance for your help.

The goat turd diviner


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 08:11 PM

Save your money, Jack!
That joke died about 24 hours ago, and it wasn't very funny then.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 08:17 PM

Like a Haruspex, only you don't have to kill the goat.... sounds good-- count me in for, oh...$00.25


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 08:24 PM

A fool and his money are soon parted, to coin a phrase.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 08:36 PM

I'll put in my two cents worth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 08:42 PM

A fool and his money are soon parted, to coin a phrase.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: GUEST,#
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 09:18 PM

Best idea from you yet, Jack


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 09:38 PM

Taking this seriously - my advice is to get a wether )neutered male, so no odors). They make good pets, eat all the brush that you want to get rid of (and maybe a little of what you wanted to save); they are playful and affectionate and come when called. What more could one ask?


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Janie
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 10:31 PM

Ebbie, housebroken or litter box trained?


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 10:57 PM

Run for political office!!...Political ideologues will believe just about anything, if you package it well enough...shit, you don't even have to package it...just spin it...make it something it's not!!...tell them it's in the genes of the goat!! Make up a discrimination conflict between Saanans and Nubians (types of goats), exaggerate it, and offer a resolution, make everyone incensed about it, when before nobody even knew about it or could care less!....Then argue about it on Mudcat!!....and call those who don't 'get it' sheep!

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Jul 14 - 11:28 PM

. . . conflict between Saanans and Nubians . . .

I'm glad you clarified that they're types of goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 10:08 AM

Jack, you haven't brought Margaret Thatcher into it yet. Gotta have Margaret Thatcher.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 10:28 AM

Much like Irelands St. Pat, you could be revered by the international goat community, Jack. Nice to see you regained your mudcat land legs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 12:03 PM

What a great way to fleece the gullible!


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 12:47 PM

Profitable goats?

There are outfits around the country (I've seen a local outfit advertised on television) that, if you have an overgrown yard, you can hire them to bring over their flock of goats who will then go to work cleaning, pruning, and generally reducing the appearance of jungle so you can then go in with the lawn mower and hedge clippers and neaten up. The goats don't do topiary…..

There are highway departments around the country that periodically turn flocks of goats loose on overgrown median strips and embankments along highways and freeways to control weeds, prune, and mow when the growth gets too heavy.

Also saves the cost of buying feed for the goats.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 02:34 PM

Sheep do the same thing, and one gets the bonus of lots of wool; too, they are lots less smelly than goats, and taste better should the need arise. Heck, sheep are practically a real life version of the Shmoo.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 04:14 PM

Not my field, but I read somewhere that with grass and grass-like plants, sheep tend to bite it through, whereas goats tend to clamp their teeth onto it and pull it up by the roots. So goat pruning tends to last longer.

I dunno, though. Not my area of expertise….

Don Firth

P. S. Sheep probably make better pets. But there is a sort of whimsically humorous side to goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 06:57 PM

Verily, I offer thee a groat


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 14 - 11:39 PM

Nobody even groaned?


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: LadyJean
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 12:14 AM

There are rent a goat services, that will bring a truckload of the critters to eat your poison ivy, or kudzu, they love kudzu. I don't think that grows in Newfoundland. Goats are highly intelligent, remarkably fragrant creatures. You should keep that in mind, if you decide you need to own one.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Musket
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 05:41 AM

Threads such as this get my goat...

I reckon I'll tether it to the boot of Jack's car. err.. auto. err.. trunk.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 06:20 AM

goat poop 


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: GUEST,big al whittle
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 07:26 AM

chacun a son goat


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 07:47 AM

à chacun son goût?

(I excuse your French)


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 08:21 AM

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While
they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their
son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as
good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 22 Jul 14 - 11:19 AM

When I said I fancied a little butter
I meant this
not this
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: LadyJean
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 12:23 AM

Friends who had goats decided to sell their flock. A retired pastor thought they'e make a nice hobby, until he came to see them and the billy goat tried to mate with his leg. A male goat will try to mate with just about anything. They also urinate on their beards to attract female goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 08:25 AM

Thanks for all the advice on goat husbandry. (no pun intended) I have penciled this in on the top of my list "nubian neuter" If I got a female do you think that the poison ivy and personal belongings would taint the milk? No one has yet suggested a name. If it were a mule or a braying jackass I could name it after a one or two of the people who come to this site. But I have no good thoughts on prophetic goat names. Goatoracle? See? I just don'y have it in me. OK people have made lots of money on stupider, sillier ideas, so don't rain on my parade John. OK?

Keep the feed back coming folks. I am taking notes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 08:28 AM

And yes, there are kudzu removal services here in the southern US that employ goats. I am not yet ready to deploy on that scale.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Musket
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 09:15 AM

Err.. Before you buy a goat, google a picture or two of a mule or jackass. I'd hate to see you get your animals wrong and buy a siberian hamster...

Jackass is a good name, all the same. I was just saying earlier to my mate Jackarse...


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 12:54 PM

There is a "goatbusters" here that will hire you goats to deal with landscaping issues. Love the idea, myself. Apparently it only takes 2 or 3 times to teach them what to eat and what to leave alone, and after that you can have the goats just wander over with their dog colleague, and they leave when they're done and wander to the next customers'. I think the dog is for people not to bother them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 03:54 PM

Jack, if I had rain in California, I certainly wouldn't use it for your parade. Ignore my advice at your peril; laugh at me if you make a million.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 04:06 PM

Does this thread have the religious,anti- homosexuality, middle East conflict, anti virus programed in and updated?
If not, beware of the invasion of the Borg-like, mudcat thread goats.


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Subject: RE: BS: Prophetic Goating
From: LadyJean
Date: 23 Jul 14 - 11:58 PM

My sister namned one of her goats after her partner's ex, whom he did rather resemble.


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