Subject: Lyr Req: Fastest mobile library in the West From: GUEST Date: 04 Aug 14 - 07:46 AM It's a john Conolly song I think |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fastest mobile library in the West From: Nigel Parsons Date: 04 Aug 14 - 10:11 AM Yes, John Conolly, on his CD "Send us a postcard" : Here |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE FASTEST MOBILE LIBRARY IN THE WEST From: fantum Date: 04 Aug 14 - 10:17 AM THE FASTEST MOBILE LIBRARY IN THE WEST (John Conolly) In the town of Piddle Trenthide lived a celebrated man He drove around the countryside in a mobile library van This hero's name was Ernie and he always did his best And they say he drove the fastest mobile library in the west Musha ru rum a du rum a day Now Ernie had a sweetheart a ravishing young floozie A library assistant by the name of sexy Susie She liked revealing dresses and she had some proper shockers And Ernie loved her cos she had a lovely pair of knee caps Musha ru rum a du rum a day Now Ernie and young Susie would drive around for hours Her mother was the local witch and Sue had magic powers She cast a spell on Ernie which caused his heart to yield She put her hand upon his knee and he turned into a field Musha ru rum a du rum a day Now Ernie had a rival an evil looking man He was the chief librarian and his name was Dirty Dan He drove a Lamborghini and he smoked a fat cigar He was lecherous and treacherous as chief librarians are Musha ru rum a du rum a day He fancied Susie for himself did the here Dirty Daniel And he ogled her through his horn rims like an intellectual spaniel He sent old Ernie out on a fruitless task one day Then he lured her to the reading room to have his wicked way Musha ru rum a du rum a day Now Dan had Susie cornered and his horn rims fogged with lust As he gazed upon the heaving slopes of her prodigious bust Is there no gallant knight she cried to save this maiden's honour And Ernie dashed into the room as Dan threw himself upon her Musha ru rum a du rum a day Unhand that maid cried Ernie with a disapproving frown I've got you dirty swine caught with your trousers down Then he drew his trusty date stamp and gave Dan a nasty tweak In a part of his anatomy of which we must not speak Musha ru rum a du rum a day Old Dan turned white with horror and then turned red with rage And the fearsome fight which followed will go down in histories page As they grovelled in the novels Sues heart was filled with dread When Daniel pulled the bookshelves down on poor old Ernie's head Musha ru rum a du rum a day Twas the books that finished Ernie though he were big and tough And though his skull were thick and strong it weren't quite thick enough He survived the Penguin poets and the fairy tales of Grimm But the complete works of Dostoyevsky proved too much for him Musha ru rum a du rum a day Poor Ernie's gone forever now his ticket's marked expired And for their part in his downfall young Sue and Dan got fired But Ernie's name will live on page fifteen he got a mention In the County Council manual of accident prevention Musha ru rum a du rum a day But in some lonesome lay by out in the fields of green They say a ghostly library van may sometimes still be seen It kind of rocks from side to side while parked against the curb And on the doors a notice saying please do not disturb Musha ru rum a du rum a day Regards Fantum |
Subject: RE: req/ADD: Fastest Mobile Library in the West From: GUEST Date: 05 Aug 14 - 08:50 AM Sometime reality surpasses fiction. The above was of course a take on Benny Hill, which itself is a take on James Dean's Big John with bits of Lorne Greene's Ringo thrown in for good measure. |
Subject: RE: req/ADD: Fastest Mobile Library in the West From: GUEST Date: 05 Aug 14 - 03:24 PM Piddletrenthide |
Subject: RE: req/ADD: Fastest Mobile Library in the West From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 06 Aug 14 - 08:35 AM of course |
Subject: RE: req/ADD: Fastest Mobile Library in the West From: Fergie Date: 06 Aug 14 - 04:08 PM The Piddletrenthide Jug Band |
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