Lyr Req: I'd Rather Be a Lobster Than a Wise Guy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I'd Rather Be A Lobster Than A Wise Guy
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 16 Oct 15 - 10:29 AM

Just in time for the new film: The Lobster

Subject: Lyr Add: I'D RATHER BE A LOBSTER THAN A WISE GUY
From: cnd
Date: 15 Oct 15 - 07:07 PM

I'D RATHER BE A LOBSTER THAN A WISE GUY
Lyrics by Edward Madden
Music by Theodore Morse

In the life of every grafter, there are mingled tears and laughter
With tales of luck that's good and luck that's hard
While the "John" they all call lucky is the guy who's just been plucky
Who sticks until he picks the winning card

Thro' my mind old scenes are chasing of the days ere I went racing
When I didn't know a racehorse from a hen (or "couldn't tell a racehorse...")
I had hay-seed in my hair and I wore a vacant stare
But I'd like to be a lobster once again

I'd rather be a lobster than a wise guy
I'd rather be a "good thing" than a sport
The "lob" may be a joke, but still he's never broke
The wise guy is the one who's always short

Don't worry 'bout the man who gets the le-món
He's bound to get the peaches when they fall
And the more of life I see, it really seems to me
That the lobster is the wise guy after all

[1]

Let the wise guy lose a dollar and he'll make a bigger holler
Than the man who sinks his fortune in a mine
And he talks just like a winner as he goes to Childs* for dinner
While the lobsters sit in rectors buying wine

When he calls up on his "steady" if the maiden isn't ready
He knows there is a lobster making good
As he waits out in the cold, if the truth were only told
He'd like to be a lobster if he could

I'd rather be a lobster than a wise guy
I'd rather be a "good thing" than a sport
The "lob" may be a joke, but still he's never broke
The wise guy is the one who's always short

[2]

Don't worry 'bout the man who gets the le-món
He's bound to get the peaches when they fall
And the more of life I see it really seems to me
That the lobster is the wise guy after all

*The lyrics have "Childs" but it should be "Childs'," one of the first national restaurants in the US

Those were the printed lyrics. But in the audio version I had (here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMB9yXC0X_M) he sings the following, starting at "[1]" and replacing the printed lyrics. It was also the same lyrics in your version at "[2]." Both version entirely skip over the last printed line of lyric.

[1]
I'd rather be a lobster than a wise guy
I'd rather be a Yankee than a Jap
The Jap is wondrous wise, his nation's on the rise
He's positively spoiling for a scrap

Don't worry about the poor old Yankee lobster
He sent his fleet a-sailing just for fun
But the Jap will soon agree on his bended Japa-knee
That the lobster is the man behind the gun

Main lyrics' source: http://digitalcollections.baylor.edu/cdm/ref/collection/fa-spnc/id/49862

"[1]" and "[2]" heard by ear.

Subject: Lyr Req: I'd Rather Be A Lobster Than A Wise Guy
From: GUEST,CJB
Date: 15 Oct 15 - 03:40 AM

Does anyone know the complete song please?

See

http://www.loc.gov/wiseguide/nov09/lobster.html

"I'd rather be a lobster than a wise guy.
I'd rather be a 'good thing' than a sport.
The 'lob' may be a joke
but still he's never broke,
the wise guy is the one who's always short"

sings the chorus of a 1907 tune by composer Theodore Morse and
lyricist Edward Madden

Ending ...

"And the more of life I see,
It really seems to me,
that the lobster is the wise guy after all."

Listen here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISBeU_NIrZ4

CJB