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The Folksinger's Predicament

GUEST,Tyler Alderson 12 Dec 15 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,# 12 Dec 15 - 10:19 AM
GUEST,Raggytash 12 Dec 15 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,Peter from seven stars link 12 Dec 15 - 11:28 AM
GUEST 12 Dec 15 - 12:33 PM
Joe_F 12 Dec 15 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Ebor Fiddler 12 Dec 15 - 07:26 PM
GUEST,..gargoyle 12 Dec 15 - 07:40 PM
Sandra in Sydney 12 Dec 15 - 08:13 PM
GUEST,Gerry 12 Dec 15 - 10:11 PM
Jim Carroll 13 Dec 15 - 03:59 AM
Jim Carroll 13 Dec 15 - 04:23 AM
MGM·Lion 13 Dec 15 - 05:11 AM
Dave the Gnome 13 Dec 15 - 05:59 AM
Jack Campin 13 Dec 15 - 06:57 AM
GUEST,Derrick 13 Dec 15 - 08:54 AM
Jack Campin 13 Dec 15 - 09:28 AM
Dave the Gnome 13 Dec 15 - 10:21 AM
Snuffy 13 Dec 15 - 02:16 PM
GUEST 13 Dec 15 - 04:09 PM
GUEST,Tyler Alderson 13 Dec 15 - 04:14 PM
Paul Burke 13 Dec 15 - 05:54 PM
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Subject: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Tyler Alderson
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 09:28 AM

I was sitting one night at a session
When they asked me to strike up a song
But to my chagrin
Every one I'd begin
Just felt like it didn't belong

For you see as a modern folk singer
I know hundreds of verses and lines
But on this green Earth
There is truly a dearth
Of folk songs in which nobody dies

I thought I would sing an old ballad
Of a young man who fancied a maid
He swore on his life
He would make her his wife
For this fellow was keen to get laid

But it seemed that his steadfast affection
Was a wholly one-sided affair
He was crushed to discover
His true love with her lover
And offed himself right then and there

I started to tell of a fellow
Who lived in a hut by the sea
But on verse 22
He was struck with the flu
And he snuffed it in verse twenty three

I went into Rock-a-bye Baby
The gentlest song of them all
But then the bough broke
And the poor baby croaked
When the cradle and he took a fall

So I turned to the Isle of Erin
Thinking Irish have all of the luck
But it seemed that each story
Was required to be gory
They even killed Flaherty's duck!

About eighty percent die of hunger
And the English took care of rest
From Belfast to Dingle
There isn't a single
Song in Ireland without a death

And it seemed that the longer I pondered
The only denouement I found
Was one that resolved
With each person involved
Horizontal, six feet underground

There were songs of disease and starvation
Suicide, drownings, and war
Revenge, retribution
Unjust execution
Massacres, murders and more!

Folk singers as a population
Are a violent and bloodthirsty lot
Perverse and sadistic
Somewhat masochistic
And prob'ly deserve to be shot

And so to you fellow musicians
If you find someone singing a verse
Your fiddle retrieve
And immediately leave
For you might end up injured or worse
(You might have to listen to a song!)

Wrote this last night, still unsure of the melody but fits "Black Velvet Band."


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,#
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 10:19 AM

Excellent :-)


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 10:22 AM

I like it Tyler !!

Several years ago I was in a bar talking to Dave Mason, landlord of Ye Olde Dolphin in Robin Hoods Bay. He was talking about the previous weeks folk session "nowt but doom, gloom and bloody murder" he said. Later in the conversation (and I honestly don't know whether it was his idea or mine) we arranged that during the following Folk Weekend we would have one hour of dedicated songs from the assembled company to see just how many people we could kill off in one hour of song. A couple of years later we'd topped over ONE HUNDRED MILLION in just ONE hour.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Peter from seven stars link
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 11:28 AM

I,m sure that when you get the tune it will be a popular song. Well done.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 12:33 PM

According to Vince at Doncaster Folk Club, the death songs (referred to as non knobbing songs) are balanced out by a combination of knobbing songs and unrequited knobbing songs.

Songs where he wants to get laid, sees the object of his desire getting laid so tops himself are true folk songs.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Joe_F
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 05:45 PM

For an exception, I particularly recommend The False Lover Won Back (Child 218). No-one dies, and the irresponsible fornicator faces up to the realization that he has been running away from a good deal. I dare say he even gets laid again.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 07:26 PM

Is that the one where the hero says something on the lines of "When I'm in the King's High court, they call me Sweet William" (I wonder why?) and when she finds herself in the family way, she goes to see the king and he sorts things out for her?


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,..gargoyle
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 07:40 PM

I like it..

It is fresh, original, and true.

Sincerely.
Gargoyle


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 08:13 PM

From: GUEST,Raggytash - PM
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 10:22 AM

I like it Tyler !!

Several years ago I was in a bar talking to Dave Mason, landlord of Ye Olde Dolphin in Robin Hoods Bay. He was talking about the previous weeks folk session "nowt but doom, gloom and bloody murder" he said. Later in the conversation (and I honestly don't know whether it was his idea or mine) we arranged that during the following Folk Weekend we would have one hour of dedicated songs from the assembled company to see just how many people we could kill off in one hour of song. A couple of years later we'd topped over ONE HUNDRED MILLION in just ONE hour.

only ONE HUNDRED MILLION? Maybe you need this song WHEN THE WIND BLOWS by Eric Bogle with 'a billion lost souls falling into hell'


sandra

How much is a billion?


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 10:11 PM

Speaking of Eric Bogle, you can sing Tyler's song to the tune of the chorus of And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda. But I think 12 verses to that tune might try someone's patience.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 03:59 AM

"It is fresh, original, and true."
Reminds me of the time back in the 70s when a feller stood up at a London club and complained about all the violent songs, especially the anti war, Viet Nam protest ones, and pleaded that we all should be singing of the good old days when everybody sat around drinking ale and eating roast beef..... a lovely anodyne picture of life as it never was.
I remember thinking, when we finished cleaning up folk songs we could then make a start on Shakespeare and Dickens and all the other sadists, and maybe burn a few history books while we were at it!
Mind you - in those days we were singing songs that had come down to us through the centuries - we didn't know what real folk song was back then!!!
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 04:23 AM

Should add - don't have any problems with the song - good for a laugh, just with those who take it too seriously.
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 05:11 AM

Ebor Fiddler, 0726 -- You are thinking of The Knight & The Shepherd's Daughter, Child #110, of which you will finds a version on my YouTube channel

http://www.youtube.com/user/mgmyer

≈M≈


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 05:59 AM

I always work on the basis that if the words make sense, the song is about death while if the words are nonsense it is about sex and old Cecil cleaned it up :-)


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Jack Campin
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 06:57 AM

You could try Andrew Mill's song "Sing Me a Love Song Where Nobody Dies".


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Derrick
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 08:54 AM

Our club had an evening where the singers had to find a song with a death or deaths with the MC keeping the score.Some like "The little husband" were quite amusing.
The winner was a song which destroyed all of mankind.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Jack Campin
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 09:28 AM

I sometimes do Adrian Mitchell's "Fifteen Million Plastic Bags" when things are getting excessively cheerful.


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 10:21 AM

Donovan's 'The war drags on' is pretty good for killing people of.

Last night, poor Dan had a nightmare it seems
One kept occurrin' and reoccurrin' in his dreams
Cities full of people burnin', screamin', shoutin' loud
And right there overhead, a great orange mushroom cloud

And there's no more war
For there's no, no more world
And the tears come streaming down
Yes, I lie crying on the ground


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Snuffy
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 02:16 PM

And the Sun has come to earth
Shrouded in a mushroom cloud of death ....


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 04:09 PM

Thanks for the kind words, and I have to say, I'm one of the many bloodthirsty folksingers out there. Particularly fond of a good old-fashioned murder-suicide, "if I can't have you no one will!"


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: GUEST,Tyler Alderson
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 04:14 PM

Should have noted that that last comment was from me!

Also, Jim, I do find a lot of nostalgia for the good ol' days of ale and roast beef a little misplaced, given that the roast beef might have had a few bugs in it... It was that and a certain candidate's promise to "Make America Great Again" that prompted this song...


I often think back to those good old days past
When a man was a man from his first to his last
And it seemed that the world didn't fly quite so fast
Oh how often I wish they'd return

For you'd get along with each person you knew
And there were no Polish or Chinese or Jews
And the poor knew their place in the factory queues
The world was so pleasant and simple

And ladies were filled with a wifely devotion
That freed them from thinking and other such notions
For everyone knew they were full of emotion
And best left to tidy the house

On the vagaries of plumbing we'd nary a thought
On ornate commodes we would gingerly squat
And lose a few pounds to the old chamber pot
The maids would take care of the rest

And the sick didn't linger when outlooks were dire
They had the good sense to know when to expire
Without all the medical bills climbing higher
And without these new pills and machines

It was much more graceful and easier too
For our wonderful doctors had more work to do
Fighting cholera, polio, smallpox and flu
Yellow fever and tuberculosis

We never used condoms, such things are obscene!
Though it meant having kids any time we were keen
So it seemed that each couple had ten or fifteen
Thank goodness that most of them died

And as I was saying, a man was a man
He would fight for what's right with a gun in his hand
Then fight for his life bleeding out in the sand
Exchanging his innards for glory

The sun it was brighter, the moon it was bigger
Men, women, and children were all filled with vigor
Your daughter would never go out with a man of African American descent
Or whatever they want us to call them

Yes everything back then was better it seems
Tobacco was healthy, only royals were queens
But I hear there's a man who in 2016
Could make our nation great once again


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Subject: RE: The Folksinger's Predicament
From: Paul Burke
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 05:54 PM

Bleak without death. Proud Maisry. If you've ever loved without reciprocation, this is your song.


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