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BS: Rap for emperor
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Ed T Date: 30 Mar 16 - 04:54 AM "And, besides, acetone may screw up your nail polish." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 29 Mar 16 - 09:39 PM Are you criticizing Us? Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: keberoxu Date: 29 Mar 16 - 05:24 PM Acetone, schmacetone. You guys dropped the ball again.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 27 Mar 16 - 09:27 PM Good gnu, We are aware of those who will not be named. We remember another event or two some years back, and that Max has been dealing with the problem for some time. You can see that by the date in the links We have provided. And We do think that it's about time all of us again started sending Max some money to help him with the expenses of the Mudcat Cafe. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:29 PM Sire, I believe Max would never act in anger. I have never known such. I have only known Max to be one who asks all to be fair and "polite". To the point that he allowed vehement mind fights to unfold without interference whilst holding only one rule above all others. All who know of this rule know of what I speak. Those who broke the rule were given, generously, rope. Those that hanged themselves did so by that rope without aid. One can count the deceased upon the fingers of one hand. I could name them but to even speak their names is vile. Sire, you may be Emperor but Max is Dog and he don't show no anger. He's a good boy... yes he is. Who's a good boy? He is. g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:05 PM We find that We approve of Max's actions, which We find were taken in both sorrow and anger. We also have wondered how long the good Max would take to accomplish the actions he has. We find that he has far more patience than Us, for We would have had the miscreants consigned to the fair Jennie G., Our IT, as fodder for the oubliette. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 26 Mar 16 - 09:40 AM "First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times." Ilona Andrews |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 25 Mar 16 - 10:34 PM Please, good gnu, be very careful with it. Do not, We repeat, NOT, also purchase acetone. We would not like for you to explosively vanish away. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 25 Mar 16 - 07:00 PM Sire, I got hydrogen peroxide up the ass. Well, I mean a got a lot of it. Bought it at the Co-op on sale in small bottles a lot cheaper than even the Co-op Country Store sells it in 4 lire jugs. I spray it on my tomatoe plants fer ta keep out the blight eh? And, fer cleaning wounds, among other things. g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 25 Mar 16 - 12:04 PM Hmmmm...We find the position of Imperial Bath Attendant And Personal Servicer To The Emperor is open.... Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 25 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM "Anticipation is the carrot suspended before the jackass to keep him moving forward. Horror is what he would see if he took his eyes off the carrot. Louis L'Amour |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 24 Mar 16 - 11:08 PM Geech, you didn' have to disrobe and jump into the tub before we left the room. The unflattering sight scared my cat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 24 Mar 16 - 09:34 PM Emperor, your bath is now drawn for your pleasure.The heated water is scented and filled with sweet pine nuts, blanched sweet almonds, marsh mallow root, lilly bulbs and a candy paste of rare plants. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 24 Mar 16 - 09:19 PM Our good subject gnu -- We have found that hydrogen peroxide solution, available at most apothecary shops, will remove those nasty red stains. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 24 Mar 16 - 07:29 PM I have concluded recent covert operations required on a timely basis. None will be apprised except to say success was achieved. This bulletin is issued only to say The Emperor's safety is safe and all may rest assured that the threats have been... removed. Oh! And I got the laundry done, the floors vacuumed, swept, mopped... dishes are clean... the regular stuff. Gotta keep the Empire neat and tidy, eh? Well, there still is a nasty red stain in the library but I am sure some elbow grease will take care of that before the investigation. I remain, loyally and faithfully, g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 24 Mar 16 - 07:07 AM "This isn't a reasoned response to a configuration of stars, but the heart cannot flourish on logic alone. Unreason is an essential medicine as long as you don't overdose." Dean Koontz |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 10:52 PM "If course it's alright for librarians to smell of drink." Barbara Pym |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:56 PM We previously worked for more than forty years in the god-like profession of librarian, and We took a lesser profession when We became Emperor. We hold a Master of Science degree in Information and Library Science in addition to Our experience in the management of information. We present you with another quote, from the author Spider Robinson: "Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off." Emperor Rapparee, BA, MS Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:16 PM Does (r*) have a official historian, as he one or more librarian(s) seem to be at his call? *I hesitate to use the full mark, which I suspect is reserved for exclusuve use of "the office"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 09:07 PM "Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter." Chinua Achebe |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ripe for (caveat) emptyer From: GUEST,Severn Date: 23 Mar 16 - 07:56 PM Being The Librarian Incongruous of the Library Of Digress, I welcome the right lady making love WITH me by mutual consent, but DON'T ever try to fuck me up or fuck me over (not to be confused with being on top)..... Q. How many quotes must a quoter quote before he quotes over his quoter quota? A. Blowing In The Wind......Next question, please! ...and as a corollary to what educator Edward Said said, "The only good and rightful revolution for an empire is the original one. Accept no imitations or substitutes."---Oliver Sutton I don't ever mess with JennieG, as we tend to use the dining hall at different hours...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 06:02 PM "Every empire, however, tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires, that its mission is not to plunder and control but to educate and liberate." Edward W. Said (not sure when it was said, by Said). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 05:56 PM "We first crush people to the earth, and then claim the right of trampling on them forever, because they are prostrate." Lydia Maria Francis Child (no relation to diet crusher, Julia Child). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 16 - 03:23 PM Due to the apparent limitations of what is known as Hypertext Markup Language, or HTML, We change the given mark of the Imperial Quoter to «IQ Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 16 - 03:19 PM We know not why the mark for the Imperial Quoter did not display, but it shall be Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: frogprince Date: 23 Mar 16 - 01:06 PM By the way, as Minister of De Fence, I've got a bunch of nice Roullex watches for sale, only $500.00, with some nice glittery diamonds. Don't let the u bother you, they're production for the British and Canadian markets. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 16 - 11:01 AM Finding that he actually attempts to supply the source for any quotation he borrows, We appoint Ed T., who posts here as "GUEST Ed T.", as Our Imperial Quoter. He will post, at a minimum, 1.7376 edifying and morally uplifting quotations every day, which will be the Imperial Quoter's quota. Any day upon which he will post exactly 3.14159265 quotations he will be rewarded with his weight in uranium hexafluoride, or UF6. His mark shall be: Let Our will in this be broadcast throughout Our realm, and he shall enjoy all of the right and privileges of this appointment. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: JennieG Date: 23 Mar 16 - 07:11 AM I myself personally am also a retired librarian, so I like to make sure the dungeon is suitably furnished with improving and moral tomes for the edification of the less recalcitrant inmates. So far, so good. JennieG Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (*) Her mark (For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Raparee) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 23 Mar 16 - 05:51 AM "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them." Joseph Heller |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 23 Mar 16 - 12:08 AM We find the word "with" in the phrase mentioned changes the meaning. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: frogprince Date: 22 Mar 16 - 12:09 PM "Rule number one:.." Not even if you're in love with one ?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tap for emperor From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 22 Mar 16 - 06:15 AM "Rule number one: Don't fuck with librarians." Neil Gaiman |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 21 Mar 16 - 11:03 PM No mind. Palpattine has been neutralized. In such urgent matters, I take executive privilege. Any further posts from same are obviously false. I have proof but caution that asking to see such may cause... well... you just don't wanna see.... it. Ecch! At Your Service, g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 16 - 12:09 PM We recognize no other emperors, actual or fictional. They would steal Our glory and enervate Our subjects. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST Date: 21 Mar 16 - 08:33 AM ""That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right? "" Emperor Palpattine |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 16 - 08:44 PM We do not foresee any immediate need, but We do like to "Be Prepared" and forestall any acrimony or unpleasantness which may result should We be forced to assume a new position in a Higher Realm. Should that happen, and it is not within our purview as We intend to reign forever and ever, We would be forced to fling thunderbolts at those engaging in any form of naughtiness. The examination will be thorough. For instance, one of the requirements is to memorize and then forget Machiavelli's "The Prince" in the original Italian. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: JennieG Date: 20 Mar 16 - 04:26 PM Your Imperial Greatness, I thank you for all your great gifts! Right now I am attending the Revels, i.e. The Oz National Folk Festival, which will under way in just a few days. However, rest assured that I have not slackened on my duties in the dungeon, the oubliette has not been forgotten, etc. I am keeping an eye (not my eye.....that of a miscreant) on what is happening via the wonders and marvels of modern technology. As to a successor, how could anyone possibly hope to succeed Your Dazzling Magnificence and that of Her Most High and Mighty Imperial Highness Princes Patricia! May I suggest a trial along the lines of Cinderella's glass slipper? I myself personally would be happy to assist in the lopping off of any superfluous appendages. With kindest regards, JennieG Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (*) her mark (for which I thank the Emperor once more ) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: GUEST,Severn Date: 20 Mar 16 - 01:26 PM I'd think I'm entitled to all that Severn's pay you mentioned...... Rap, if your reign continues incessantly (with no offspring offsprung), should Noah and Joan be commissioned to build a Triumphal Ark?.... What successors are swimming in the somewhat trecherous SuckCesspool so far? Don't tell me that Rap ain't gonna reign no more, no more. Who will be snowing us by sleet of hand, and who will we hail should the reign stop? Who shall pay for this drought (as I paid for the last round)? What sort of upper or lower-class precipitation might befall us?.... Considering that most, if not all of us posting are fairly old farts, is there an answer blowing in the wind? Where's the young blood coming from, and is there even much young blood in our official Carry-A-Torture JennieG's blood bank for possible transfusions for the old? I know that Rap can't reign (nor JennieG arraign)forever, but as Royal Costumer (and REMEMBER, costumer's always right!), I'm still working on giving the present administration proper fits, without having to worry about designing new prints for an outfit for some new Prince or princess for them to make their proper imprints on us...... And wouldn't the faithful mate of our current Emperor be first in line to succeed before we'd plant the seeds to appoint (Bless their appointed little head) some future suck-up to succeed at some Succession Session. Her Imperial Highness has yet to speak to us, and she might prove to be the power behind the throne or even the overthrown....... 'Splain it to me, Kingfish...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 16 - 06:35 AM Wait. I still get my pension, right? And severance pay? g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Donuel Date: 19 Mar 16 - 08:01 PM I tend to not do anything useful. What can I do? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 16 - 06:10 PM Our loyal and devoted subjects, It is with a heavy heart that We address this topic, but We must insure the continuity of Our reign. Being without issue, We now open the search for Our successor. We will entertain nominations and assume that only the finest will be brought to Our attention. After a rigorous examination by Us, a physical examination by Our Imperial Physic, and psychological testing by Our Royal Psycho, We will name the person who will succeed (but can never replace!) Us. Let the naming begin! Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 16 - 01:11 PM You have Our permission to do what needs to be done. Jennie G., Our IT, will fully cooperate. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 19 Mar 16 - 12:59 PM It has been rumoured that there is a Trompe (produces a lot of gas) which has offered for high office in one of Our Emperor's subservient Dominions know as the USA (United States of America). Woefully, reports indicate this gasbag spews drivel and nonsense so as to bloviate his superiority over all others. I take this as an affront to Our Emperor. Given such blasphemy, I hereby request, Rex, (can I call you Rex, (r)? It seems more personal and we're buds, right?), that permission be given to me to extinguish his obviously delusional ravings. Your most humble, g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 18 Mar 16 - 12:37 PM For failure to use the mark We so graciously allowed, We withdraw from gnu the right to use the splat (or *) as his mark and allow Jennie G., Our IT, to use is as it is reminiscent of the mark made by drops of viscous red liquid found as she pursues her noble task. To gnu We award the humble mark "g" (without the quotation marks) and require him to use it as authentication of his author or other -ship. Should he fail in this, Our desire, he will learn of the splat from Our IT. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 17 Mar 16 - 02:12 PM My hair-lipped dog just commented "MARK! MARK! MARK!". g and his faiphul companion Dawg. Say! Ya need a mascot? I wouldn't suggest Dawg. He licks... never mind. I suppose it should be Clay. Only befitting, eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:57 PM We require you to toe the mark or We shall withdraw Our permission for you to use the *, or splat, as you requested. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 17 Mar 16 - 08:48 AM Oh dear! I missed the mark! g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:19 AM gnu (if that is you, as your mark is missing), We take your suggestion and thank you for it. We herewith name Kendall Morse as Chief Chef and Jacqui Morse as Chief Chef Chief and Keeper of the Kendall. They are entitled to all of the rights and privileges thereof. Let this be proclaimed throughout Our Empire! Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: gnu Date: 16 Mar 16 - 07:49 PM Nah. We wouldn't injure any lobsters. Gots ta keep em healthy fer the boil-up. I nominate Kendall for Chief Cookie of Our Empire. He steams lobstahs without any salt. The Old Salt is all about heart health. Proper attention to dietary health is wanted in a Chief Cookie. Kendall for Cookie! says I. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor From: Rapparee Date: 16 Mar 16 - 01:48 AM We would not approve of any lobsters being injured thereby. And gnu -- We have approved your mark, so please use it to ensure Us that it is truly you who are posting. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark |
