BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,gnu in cogs... neato eh?
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 07:51 PM

Whassup wit' all 'at eh wha'? I speaks English, Yank English, Chiac, Newfie, Labradorian, Bluenoser, Albert County Good Ol' Boy, and Kent County Good Ol' Boy. *Now* you want me to learn all them there other ones? Oh... and I do pretty good at Maineiac too as they eat lobstahs same whay we do in these pahts heeyah. Not like in them fancy restahrawhts down in New Yahk where they cuts em up the middle... nevah could understand that crowd. We cracks em fine wit nuttin but our 'ands, zir. A lobster boilup be some shockin good, buddy but ya gots ta do 'er proper, roight? None a that there fancy shit.

IT... just brainstorming here. What about a lobster chamber in the lowest dungeon? Win-win or what?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 11:38 PM

We are watching you Donuel

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 09:55 PM

We change the spelling of Our name as far too many of Our subjects did not understand Irish. This We will rectify, as We wish all of Our subjects to speak, read, and write Irish, Scots Gaelic, Welsh, Polynesian, and Basque fluently so that they will be better able to cooperate in Our endeavors.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)    His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 05:07 PM

Last Guest was keyboard/challenged Ed T.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 05:05 PM

WhT ever hapoened to Rapaire?
Was he deposed by his younger brother Rapparee, by another mother.
Do I detect an Emperor takeover?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 04:50 PM

Certainly!

Donuel, just follow me please. Shoes must be left at the door.

You aren't allergic to metal, are you?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble and Dungeon Choir Wrangler

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM

Donuel has cursed in Our presence. IT, you know to do.




Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 09:07 AM

WTF?    I did not mean to put that there

damn touch screen

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 08:53 AM

47 F and drizzling   (reprise)

Taken by surprise I came to
a grandiose Magnolia tree
Its magnificent one hit wonder
Blossoms with an arrogance to winter

There, the first Robin standing resolutely
despite how near I approach her
She is so staunch her name should be
Stands with fist

Bowing in the rain the simple daffodils
are being called to muster
to wage a mass demonstration soon.
But for now quietly assemble

Tiny Crocus draw all attention
from the winter debris to its oasis
of color and a promise of
great things to come

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Fenian Rascal
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 02:52 AM

HIM--Your above everything
And nothing is beneath You

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 16 - 12:39 AM

We find it good when Our subjects work together. "Gung ho!" as Mao's boys used to say.

gnu, We award you all the lupines you can carry.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 09:22 PM

Yee har, gnu!

keberoxu, you would be welcome. Anyone who can scare the bejabbers out of a kitty is a good candidate for the Dungeon Chorus. Do you sing tenor? bass? or do you just find your own melody line somewhere?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble and Dungeon Choir Wrangler

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 07:35 PM

JennieG, do you have enough singers for your operations down there? One time I sang to a friend's pet cat, and the cat leaped up onto my person and shoved its paw in my mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 07:29 PM

Sorry, Roger. My bad. Right! Reload!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 06:37 PM

It has been pointed out by PM that my post including "Word has it that Roger Moore, stupid bitch that he is,..." is incorrect. Indeed, it is so. I hang my head in shame. Tis not Roger Moore but, in fact, Dennis Moore.

I beg empathy and forgiveness from all of Our Empire, save one. Myself, as I have flogged myself with palm fronds in penance and shall carry my shame forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 06:19 PM

The Deed is done, my Leech. The Highwayman has been switched off; he's gone for a dirt nap; he bit the dust, bought the farm, kicked the last bucket, sleeps with the fishes, pushes up lupines... he is... no Moore*. He shall not pose a threat to Our Gentry again. Grow your lupines in security and comfort, all.

g (My mark... I finally got a mark! Da would be proud.)

* I went a long way for that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM

Jennie git yer gun! We's goin after tourerists! Ya know. Them what rob them city folks on the highaway. Word has it that Roger Moore, stupid bitch that he is, is riding through the glen with his merry men as we speak. We must move swiftly... like, RFN, eh? Iffin ya don't get back to me like RFN, I will have no recourse but to act on the Emp's orders and take him out on my own.

Now, normally, I would use a large calibre rifle but I have been advised in a Facebook group that small calibres are better because "it's all about shot placement" soooo, being frugal and wishing to stay within the Emp's budget (cheap bastard), I shall endeavour to take him out with a Red Ryder BB Gun. You know, the one with the compass in the stock? Well, that was the one made famous in the classic Kissmeass movie A Christmas Story. Mine doesn't have the compass. We were poor. But, I never shot my eye out.

Right then! There shall be no delay as I take matters into my own trigger finger. Wish me good luck, tight lines and straight shootin. I am away to defend Our Realm from evil doers. Our Lupines shall be defended no matter the peril I may face. I hear he is good shot but I have a lever action repeater!

g

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 11:58 AM

We herewith name Joe Offer Our Theologian Extraordinary and Plentypotentiary and Extraordinary Inquisitor Into Various Beliefs.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 01:03 AM

Of course you may mark your mark. We are nothing if not re-markable. But please work with Jennie G., Our Imperial Torturer, and work up a really good termination. We cannot have this sort of thing making the roads and houses dangerous places for Our people, so please make an good example of this bad example so that people will live in fear of Our laws and therefore obey Us.

We find your mark especially appropriate to you, as it has been known in the computer world as a "splat."


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 16 - 01:33 PM

As Chief of Our Imperial Enforcers and Bouncers, I am sad to report that a scurrilous rogue of a Highwayman has been robbing Our Gentry of their valuables. One of our surveillance drones has captured video of this heinous villain at work and I submit it herewith.

If it pleases You, Emp, I should take great pleasure in terminating him with extreme prejudice.

I await your approval.

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer, g (my mark*).

* I get to have a mark, right? I mean, without a mark, seems kinda unofficial, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 16 - 11:34 AM

We have added a new form of address for Our audiences with those seeking Our favor:

All above
All below,
Mountains, sea, and sky,
Belong to our Beloved Emperor!
Rah! Rah! Siss Boom Bah! for Him Our Beloved Emperor!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 16 - 11:55 AM

Our people will speak clearly and concisely, as Our Imperial Game Warden gnu has done. Therefore he and his ilk are also appointed Our Imperial Enforcers and Bouncers, charged with enforcing Our proclamations and laws and whims and bouncing (as Tigger would) those who would not keep such into the clutches of Jennie G., Our good IT.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 09 Mar 16 - 02:43 PM

Me, moi and Jimmy Suis offer our services for the Enforcement Division of His Royal Heinie's Security Forces. Being from Acadie, we know how to deal with undesirables. Our motto : "I t'row my coat bot' side da road; I come to fight, me!"

Tough as ongles! Loyal and as sustaining as poutine râpée is to estomac. Poutine râpée should be the Royal Cuisine as it represents The Emperor definitively - a simple gooey potatoe paste on the outside and a ham on the inside. Perhaps He could rename it Poutine Rapparee!

I'll have extra sauce and brown sugar s'il vous plaît. Merci, la.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 10:24 PM

Right now as we speak there is a vacancy in the dungeon - the third rack from the right is empty. This cannot be allowed to happen, so would any of you good people like to join us for an afternoon of fun and games? Anyone vertically challenged who always yearned for an extra few inches, perhaps?

Please address all replies to
JennieG,
Imperial Torturer and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble,
Deep In The Dungeon where it's dark as a mine.

Who knows......perhaps we may even be treated to a special Imperial Visit from His Amazing Greatness The Emperor Rapparee!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 08:17 AM

A check is in the mail, Your Royal Travesty.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 01:31 AM

Our people! Your Emperor is always thinking of you and of new ways to bring you the best of everything. We must ask you to give your share, just as We give Ours. This will mean a short period of total contribution but We assure you that it will be no longer than is necessary. Endure, We ask you, a little more hardship. Give a little more for Us and you will be richly rewarded! Have patience, for your reward will be great.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rahp for emperator
From: Severn
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 06:16 PM

I've been varying the subject titles for years now. I'd have think he'd noticed Don't worry. Just because subjects have been given new titles does NOY mean there is any sort of nobility amongst the peasantry......

Trump has been 'brokered", even bankruptured, numerous times and has always found ways of making new fortunes. And if Ghengis Khan, there's no reason why Rap khan't. Emannuel is another question, though I doubt he'll ever reKant.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 04:30 PM

How is one elected emperor?

What if there is a brokered emperor convention.

Rap if you run into trouble just remember to ask yourself what would Trump do, or even Genghis Khan.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 02:24 PM

Who cares what ya flunked. It's an appointed position; you don't have to pass a civil service exam or nothin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 01:53 PM

Your Imperial ness, don't know if you were aware of this, but I flunked blue clicky school...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 01:32 AM

We hereby nominate and name keberoxu as Our Minister of Education and Re-Education (Adults) and trust that the cooperation with Our Imperial Torturer will greatly improve standardized Test results in cricket and otherwise.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM

It changed the title in the post in question, not in the whole thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 04:10 PM

You can do that? Change the thread title when you post? Does The Emp know of this?

Subject: RE: BS: RapShure for preemtperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 02:53 PM

I've always dreamed of going down there to Australia and even have friends down there, but health and money have been issues. If I actually go into debt, it's not a sure ticket there any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 02:23 PM

We encourage speculation as it keeps Our Imperial Torturer productive and busy.

Oz is far away, but We would like to make an Imperial visit someday. Perhaps Our subjects there could move it closer to Our Realm to facilitate Our visit.

Dear Quarter Master, We do not need a Lerner's permit. How could you sink so Lowe as to think We do? If you cannot put "Rogers" on that, please have a Hart and don't hammer a stein.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex   (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 07:12 PM

I'm sure I speak for the whole nation of The Great Land of Oz when I say that, should Their Most Regal Magnificences desire an OS trip, they would always be welcome here.

We have sun-kissed beaches, breathtaking mountains (if you climb one it will take quite a while to get your breath back), strange creatures which will kill you, interesting birds and cuddly animals.

The Great Land of Oz is the best country in the world because we have wombats, and as such it may appeal to Your Regalities.

By the way, and despite rumours to the contrary, a wombat is a short legged furred mammal capable of achieving great speeds and baby wombats are the most adorable critters in the whole world. "Wombat" does not mean "waste of money, brains and time".

Subject: RE: BS: Rasp for enterer
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 02:51 PM

Do you need a Lerner's Permit to use and adapt those lyrics?.....

You might try doing a rewrite of "What Do The Simple Folkies DO".....

JFK always wanted a Camel Lot. He'd be glad we parked soldiers in Iraq. Are you thinking of involving us overseas, O Imperious Rex?.....

JennieG, while Broadway tunes are being looted, you might want to check out "Was I Wazir" from "Kismet"......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 11:24 AM

The lunette is too low for the bascule, the mouton appears too light, and the uprights are too short for efficient and humane use.

We say these things because We know these things and wish to educate Our people. Should you desire more information on this subject We are certain that Jennie G. IT will educate you.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 06:39 AM

Oh my......Your Most Imperial Goodness Graciousness......words fail me!

I shall, of course, do my utmost to instill those words into each and every oh-so-lucky miscreant who has the amazing good fortune to fall into my hands. It will, of course, be accompanied by a band of assorted banjos because nothing else could possibly do justice to such magnificent sentiments.

I am also thinking of kazoo accompaniment to drown out any screams which may escape the lips of said tortured souls.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 03:55 AM

A.J. Lerner is spinning in his grave.

Here's a dandy little page refresher.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 01:35 AM

You have failed Us and left Our Empire fall from the page. In the future please remember the presence of Jennie G., IT.

This time We forgive you, although you have made Us forget the Special Message We had to impart.

As for an Imperial Anthem, We suggest these slightly edited lyrics as they are so correct about Us:

Your Emperor should be someone invincible
Succeed where a less fantastic one would fail
Climb a wall no one else can climb
Cleave a dragon in record time
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail!
No matter the pain he ought to be unwinceable
Impossible deeds should be their daily fare
But where in the world
Is there in the world
Someone so extraordinaire?

It's you! It's you!
I'm forced to admit
'Tis you, I humbly reply
That mortal who
These marvels can do
It's you! It's you! Says I!

You've never lost
In battle or game
You're simply the best by far
When swords are cross'd
'Tis always the same
One blow and au revoir
It's you! It's you!
So admir'bly fit
A Modern Prometheus unbound
And here youy stand with valor untold
Exception'lly brave, amazingly bold
To serve as Emperor all 'round.

The soul of an Emperor should be a thing remarkable
With a heart and mind as pure as morning dew
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
He could easily work a miracle or two
To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable
The ways of the flesh should offer small allure
But where in the world
Is there in the world
Someone so untouch'd and pure?

It's you?

It's you! It's you!
I blush to disclose, I'm far too noble to lie
That person in whom these qualities bloom
It's you! It's you! Says I!

You've never stray'd from all I believe
You're bless'd with an iron will
Had you been made the partner of Eve
We'd be in Eden still!
It's you! It's you!
The angels have chose to fight their battles below
And here you stand as pure as a pray'r
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare
The godliest man we know
It's you!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 05:32 PM

Your Great Imperialness, I am working on that list of miscreants as we speak......do you have any names that you yourself would particularly like to add? Anyone who may have slighted the Imperial Might, for instance? Any scurvy knaves who may have impugned Her Great Imperial Goodness The Most High and Mighty Regal Princess Patricia? Anyone whose cooking you didn't like?

Now's your chance!

Also by way of a footnote, Oh Great Sire, I've been wondering about a National Anthem because I would like to make sure that each and every person who passes through my hands, so to speak, is word perfect. Any suggestions?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:57 PM

Carrion beetle?

Carry-on beetle?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:49 PM

Insudentully, why are Emperors Imperial instead of Emporial ?

Subject: RE: BS: Ramp for offererer
From: GUEST,Severn (Supreme Justice of the Court Of Mast
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 02:41 PM

Put that sourness back where the wreath of grapes is stored for now, at least. He may not last any longer than Frosty The Snowman or Pope Paul VI, but then he might have his reigning hands on the reins for quite some time. The Grand Mudcat Sorcerer Joe Offer might put a spell on him that no Imperial Spellcheck could defeat and make all of us vanish into thin air, leaving Rap contemplating becoming Emperor of Facebook, instead. Hopefully, we can get this built up to maximum strength before anyone can try to tear it down......

We might consider doing what a lot of emerging nations do. First build or refurbish a palace. Second, form an army and third, create a national airline. All this before we take a look at the people out there. What'll we call Air Rap?.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 11:46 AM

We may have a Special Announcement later.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 07:10 PM

We are Emperor over all Universes, in every dimension, within and without all Time. You forget that at your peril

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 06:51 PM

# wreath #




   all fame is fleeting







besides the role of an emperor is nothing more than a data compressed algorithm.

What we actually need is a new universe which is challenging, to say the least.

Subject: RE: BS: Ripe for the empiring
From: GUEST,Quotamaster Severn
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 02:50 PM

But the Lyme helps prevent scurvy, knaves. They take a lickin', but keep on tickin'. And, they are washed in the blood.....

Dragonflies are great, but I like the Ladybird Beetle, 'cause it takes more than bullshit to make my new roses grow. But Lyme Green for the Royal Bughouse uniforms, definitely....

The roaches will be here long after us humans destroy each other, so they can appoint their own after we're gone.....

Frogprince in charge of De Fence? I just Sawyer fence post. It's enough to make the average White picket and maybe threaten to charge. It might not be able to keep out those pesky Mexicans that Trump worries about But I'm sure the Green Collard workers will get behind it and help out with the general whitewash, both gilding and padding the Frogprince's lily, so let's go ahead and go Green. In fact, Lyme Green uniforms for HIS workers, too. Goodbye, old paint!....

Thanks for the apple remnants. They're good for esprit and enhance the décor. Speaking of esprit, I might go out on one this weekend. Anyone want to join me?.....

FP, since you're in charge of De Fence, after you're through fencing with Rap in epee-ing position, could you help me get rid of some hot jewelry and some hubcaps?.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 01:25 PM

You may have the core of Our apple as a gesture of Our magnanimity. We, of course, cannot do manual labor or labour, and so Our Imperial Torturer will select a few select souls for such servitude.