BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Dec 18 - 01:03 AM

I'm still trying to figure out how Rap qualifies for a 628-message thread. Is he better-lookin' than the rest of us, or what?
He is a lot taller, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Dec 18 - 09:31 PM

I see now, why Rap is emperor, and I am not.
I am in awe.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 18 - 08:17 PM

Our most loyal and loving subjects!

We appreciate you expressions of concern about this, Our most recent journey to the never-never land of the chirurgeons. We are recovering from this latest bout, although certain bodily functions are still recalcitrant. Never the less, We will insure that they resume their normal functionality! We shall ask to Physical Therapy and all the other post-operative therapy available. If Our functions do not resume their previous functioning before Yule the chirurgeon will find herself in the capable hands of Our Imperial Torturer (albeit that we have concerns, as they might get along too well).

Again, We thank you for your wishes for Our continuing good health, and so We have decided to forgot all taxes from this date forward until the first of the year.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Dec 18 - 12:25 AM

There's bound to be a job for you, Joe. If all else fails you could be the Chief Tuner for the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble.

Now there's a job that has a future.......let's face it, you would never be out of work......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 03:21 PM

You wanna be prime minister, Joe?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Joe Offer
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 02:54 PM

I'm still trying to figure out how Rap qualifies for a 628-message thread. Is he better-lookin' than the rest of us, or what?
I'm just a tad jealous...
-Lonesome Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 08:49 AM

Since the hints of a recession have caused the Emporer to declare a state of emergency in the kingdom, machinations are afoot that have hidden Imperious Rex from view.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 10:53 PM

Thank you, keberoxu! We were mightily pleased ourselves that our home was intact, and Bianca The White Cat was happy to see us. After having health issues our Canaussian son is doing well, and his lovely partner and I enjoyed fun girl's days out together.

When I'm not being the Imperial Torturer I can be quite nice, I'm told.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 01:23 PM

Jennie G., glad to hear that you returned safely home from your travels
and that home sweet home, after all the domestic disasters of recent years,
was still there to welcome you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 08:25 AM

Rapturous?

As the Royal fixer, lawyer and indicted conspirator I propose Imperious Rap Rex buy the Taj Mahal with loans and turn it into a casino and sin Hotel and drive it into bankruptcy leaving German and Russian Banks holding the bill

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 05:34 AM

This is not good news. We are trusting the good Dr Fritz to do an excellent job of surgery, or she may find herself on the fritz (as it were).

The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have returned from their trip to the far side of the known universe and are slowly getting over jet lag. It is a very very long way to go and come back again.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Dec 18 - 12:57 PM

The Imperious Rapturous Rex had to spend a night in hospital
following the latest ministrations of the barber-chirurgiens.
Ought I to write chirurgienne, since Dr. Fritz is of the feminine gender?

Until recovery is complete, it appears that
much time in the prone position will be necessary:
tummy to the floor, posterior to the ceiling.
A most unusual position for an emperor.
But then
I lack the imagination, and am also too squeamish,
to picture the alternatives...

Moreover, if I read the latest imperial update correctly,
Dr. Fritz presumed to speak of a second procedure in future.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 01:24 PM

I had to look around the Mudcat forum
to find out about Black Walnut.

You two oldtimers have probably known Black Walnut all these years,
but I'm a newbie
and Black Walnut stopped posting to the Mudcat
before I even knew the Mudcat existed.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 10:16 PM

Many thanks, Sire! I have already started practising The Wave.

Don't worry - we fully intend to enjoy ourselves, we even have a Mudcatter friend to look up, Black Walnut.

Back at the end of November.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 09:01 PM

We ask you to wave as you fly over Our lands.

Our Great Northern Province should not be too cold at this time of year, and Toronto is a rather nice city, as cities go.

Enjoy yourselves, or find yourself in the Oubliette. We have spoken.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark
Bringer Of Good Times For All

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 08:08 AM

Many thanks, Oh Great One!

The Imperial Oubliette will be running on automatic pilot for several weeks. On Wednesday 3rd October your Imperial Torturer and Spouse will be hopping (all right, walking) onto a plane to spend 20 hours up there in a tin box with several hundred of our New Best Friends and 97 crying babies, briefly landing at Vancouver in the Great North Land of Canada before flying for several more hours to Toronto, finally exiting into fresh air with a great sigh of relief. The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have a Canaussian son who they haven't seen for three years and who has undergone major health issues in that time, so he needs a hug from his mummy and daddy and they need a hug from him.

During this time the miscreants will be fed and watered occasionally via the odd trusty (some of whom are really odd, believe me!). Hopefully the smell shouldn't be too unbearable by the time of our return at the end of November; said trusties are allowed to hose out the dungeon and its inmates once a week.

Using cold water, of course.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 18 - 09:43 PM

Greetings to Our people!

We have done much since Our last post, including a change of Our computing machine.

Whereas the Imperial Naysayer has undergone more torture at the hands of chirugeons than Our Imperial Torturer could ever apply We pardon him of his latest misconducts and hope that in this, Our magnanimity, he is stimulated to transmogrify his life and return to the paths of goodness and righteousness in which he was raised and from which he has oft gone astray.

Imperial Torturer, We believe that We will be providing you with a number of deserving miscreants by the Christmas holidays so that you can enjoy them with with gusto and good cheer.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark
The Glorious and Merciful

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Sep 18 - 05:37 PM

Well, Hawa'ii was some time ago
and now there's a tsunami in Indonesia.
The world moves on.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 May 18 - 12:31 PM

What say the denizens of Emperor Rapparee's reign
about the geological unrest in Hawa'ii
since Imperious Rex paid the place a visit?

We're talking homeless families here, after all.
And car-eating lava flows, and so on.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 26 May 18 - 07:58 AM

The Imperial Torturer is waiting, oh Great One!

I do like a nice torture......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 18 - 09:31 PM

We take time from Our busy schedule to remind you:

Since none of the political party candidates can get it right, I say we appoint an emperor.. I hereby appoint Rap.... (Olddude, 2016 February 11).

and

The emperor is an insufferable narcissist, and what's worse a philosophical solipsist with delusional patterns of bipolarity. He would be a big improvement over any of the Repugnicans on the ballots. (Amos, same date).

Should any more discussion occur We will have the Imperial Torturer become involved.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 May 18 - 02:48 PM

Gnu? Any new news about moose?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 18 - 11:43 AM

ANyone who leaps up and claims Imperial status for himself, and hangs there basking in the adulation of an unthinking crowd of witless layabouts and half-baked rounders, deserves all the criticism the market can muster. Our current Resident is a prime example.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 18 - 08:51 PM

We have returned and We must tell you that Our wretched brother is as well as ever he was.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 May 18 - 01:56 PM

Amos is insulting Rapparee elsewhere in this forum,
so SOMEBODY must be feeling a little better.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 May 18 - 06:24 PM

But His Imperial reunion with his brother has been troubled
by his brother's malady.
I'm thinking his brother is in no condition
to appreciate a twenty-one-gun salute,
even from the USS Constitution.

Hope both of them feel reassured and recovered soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 May 18 - 07:25 PM

The twenty-one gun salute from the USS Constitution,

tugboats and all.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 18 - 04:03 PM

For the nonce We will allow the Imperial Naysayer his wont.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 May 18 - 11:12 AM

you say propser,
and I say prosper ..,

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 18 - 02:00 PM

From the Imperial Naysayer:

Yes, I tangled with the Six-Armed Robotic Beast in the dark caverns of the unmappable UNC Health Care System. I escaped, not unscathed, but with lots of instructions and pretty pieces of plastic from which to carry on my daily business of living. I am recovering nicely, thank you, and the prognosis is more or less good. There were found a couple of teeny-weeny specks of carcinoma but mostly nothing of consequence. Unfortunately, all this hammering and pounding on the lhysical and the mortal has left me half addled and entirely fixated on the mortal shell, with little imagination left to talk about more cosmic or even Imperial issues. Since I don't like talking about myself so much, I generally opt for dignifies silence, for better worse.

Persevere and propser, my friends!


A, Non-Voluntary Imperial Naysayer

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 18 - 09:09 AM

I have never flown on the Morrow. I have flown on the Boeing, the Bombardier, the Embraer, the Airbus, and the Cessna, but not the Morrow.

Hopefully, it is not some sort of weird experimental aircraft.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 18 - 10:10 PM

We shall fly on the morrow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 May 18 - 02:07 PM

And olddude is rejoicing in the singing of Cyndi Lauper,
which is a healthy and righteous thing to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 May 18 - 11:24 AM

The Imperial Naysayer sent dispatches
to confirm that he is doing naything, I mean nothing,
while recuperating at home.
His two companions are Pain and Pharma at the moment.

Hawa'ii is extremely restless since the Emperor's visit.
Meanwhile the Emperor is traveling, but not to Hawa'ii.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 May 18 - 09:51 PM

Our Most Gracious Rapturous Rex is due for a military veteran reunion this month, and it seems that he will be there as scheduled,
regardless of the sneaky infarction. Wishing him Bon Voyage.

There is a dispatch from the Imperial Naysayer elsewhere,
as he has returned from his rendez-vous with
The Thing With Six Arms, whoever or whatever it was.
And I won't attempt a description of his present condition.
He said his faithful dog recognizes him, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 09 May 18 - 11:11 PM

Can't do much about the unfortunate moose; they need fed more than they need fenced. But I still have some of those Canadian Rouleques watches at a bargain price.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 09 May 18 - 05:56 PM

Oh Great Sire, would you like me to keep a small corner of the oubliette for the rebellious heart?

It's no problem, you know.

Meanwhile, the inmates are keeping vigil for the Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:08 PM

It's grand to hear from the Imperial Warden,
but bad news about moose weak with starvation.

I believe the undetected heart attack happened, years ago,
to John Mullencamp as well --
meaning, it was detected after the fact. Wake-up call.
He's still with us, thankfully.

The Imperial Naysayer, however, has had to put his personal plumbing
under a power greater than his own
to resolve whatever the heck is conspiring against
his health and well-being.
Hope we hear from him sooner rather than later.

That leaves the Minister of De Fence,
although I don't know what he can do about the starving moose.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:02 PM

Keep yer Imperial stick on the ice, Big Emp.

As keeper of yer game, I am monitoring moose stranded by the floods in yer NB.ca. They've been staying on bridges on the T-Can. DERD (formerly DNR) tried to herd a young bull and cow over one bridge to where they could get browse but they are too weak. DERD doesn't figure they can bring browse to the moose 'cause "... it wouldn't go well." Sire, permission to slap these ^$&*#$@!!!ing pussies up side the head?

g... you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 18 - 09:23 AM

Our Imperial Naysayer is in good hands. Indeed, many good hands.

We have had Our report and We have some infarct in Our Imperial heart. We find that part of Our heart is in rebellion against Us and so We shall have to deal rather harshly with it. We had long hoped to avoid this, but We suppose the Time Has Come.

We ask Our subjects not to weep and bewail Our small problem. Instead, rejoice with Us that We can punish the rebellious heart part in the manner it so richly deserves! And let the fate of this part be a warning to all the rest!

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 18 - 04:23 PM

Today the Imperial Naysayer
goes under the multiple arms.

And I can't think of anything else to say.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 May 18 - 02:11 PM

Latest reports from the Imperial Naysayer indicate
that a robotic surgeon with six arms
will be used to perform surgery on said naysayer.

On Tues May 8.

This conjures up images of the god Shiva
dancing on one pair of legs
whilst waving three pairs of arms in the air.

Unless the surgeon is a robotic insect?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 18 - 10:39 PM

We are in glowing health. That is primarily because We were injected with ^99mTc, that is, the metastable nuclear isomer of technetium-99. Thus, when We enter a darkened room such as a dungeon We not only bring light with Us, but We are the light.

But We shall not know the results of these chirurgeons' test for a dayor more. As they have not contacted Us yet, We can only assume that nothing immediate was discovered.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 May 18 - 01:56 PM

Today the Imperial Chirurgians give the Emperor his stress test,
and I hope that it will not be necessary for heads to roll.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 10:38 PM

We thank you for your concern. We have an appointment at the Imperial Cardiology Clinic on the third day of May, Anno Domini 2018, for a stress test. We find this to be unnecessary as We are under enough stress, but the Imperial Chirurgeons feel it needful so that their positions shall not become suddenly vacant.

Otherwise, We feel well.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 06:02 PM

This is not good!

Sending all healing thoughts to our Most Imperious Overlord.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:07 PM

There are stresses upon the peaceable empire.
The naysayer has said nothing for weeks,
while being treated for serious illness.
And Imperious Rex ended up in the hospital
being supplied with nitroglycerine.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Mar 18 - 11:47 AM

Ah, Severn, it isn't the same without you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rapp for app.-eror
From: Severn
Date: 17 Mar 18 - 01:10 AM

What's this about light bulbs? How many emperors does it take to screw one in? Is it the one that comes on over your head when you get an idea, and if so, have we been mis-LED while it's been out? If you can't handle Light Duty, must the Royal Physician confine you to your bed?.......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 18 - 01:01 AM

My People!

We are in the Kingdom of Hawai'i, paying an Imperial visit to their King, Kamehameha IX and his queen, Lahaina Nui.

They translated Our given first name, which is of Hebrew derivation, into Hawai'ian. It translates to "'Owaikaho'akua" and means "He who is like God."   Great comment was made about this and how appropriate it was.

In other matters, Our trading ships will no longer pay a tariff for cargoes, and will (of course) be subject to inspection for invasive species and proscribed items.

They are also considering an Imperial Partnership with Us, but that is still being discussed.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark