BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: RapShure for preemtperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 02:53 PM

I've always dreamed of going down there to Australia and even have friends down there, but health and money have been issues. If I actually go into debt, it's not a sure ticket there any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 04:10 PM

You can do that? Change the thread title when you post? Does The Emp know of this?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM

It changed the title in the post in question, not in the whole thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 01:32 AM

We hereby nominate and name keberoxu as Our Minister of Education and Re-Education (Adults) and trust that the cooperation with Our Imperial Torturer will greatly improve standardized Test results in cricket and otherwise.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 01:53 PM

Your Imperial ness, don't know if you were aware of this, but I flunked blue clicky school...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 02:24 PM

Who cares what ya flunked. It's an appointed position; you don't have to pass a civil service exam or nothin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 04:30 PM

How is one elected emperor?

What if there is a brokered emperor convention.

Rap if you run into trouble just remember to ask yourself what would Trump do, or even Genghis Khan.

Subject: RE: BS: Rahp for emperator
From: Severn
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 06:16 PM

I've been varying the subject titles for years now. I'd have think he'd noticed Don't worry. Just because subjects have been given new titles does NOY mean there is any sort of nobility amongst the peasantry......

Trump has been 'brokered", even bankruptured, numerous times and has always found ways of making new fortunes. And if Ghengis Khan, there's no reason why Rap khan't. Emannuel is another question, though I doubt he'll ever reKant.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 01:31 AM

Our people! Your Emperor is always thinking of you and of new ways to bring you the best of everything. We must ask you to give your share, just as We give Ours. This will mean a short period of total contribution but We assure you that it will be no longer than is necessary. Endure, We ask you, a little more hardship. Give a little more for Us and you will be richly rewarded! Have patience, for your reward will be great.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 08:17 AM

A check is in the mail, Your Royal Travesty.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 10:24 PM

Right now as we speak there is a vacancy in the dungeon - the third rack from the right is empty. This cannot be allowed to happen, so would any of you good people like to join us for an afternoon of fun and games? Anyone vertically challenged who always yearned for an extra few inches, perhaps?

Please address all replies to
JennieG,
Imperial Torturer and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble,
Deep In The Dungeon where it's dark as a mine.

Who knows......perhaps we may even be treated to a special Imperial Visit from His Amazing Greatness The Emperor Rapparee!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 09 Mar 16 - 02:43 PM

Me, moi and Jimmy Suis offer our services for the Enforcement Division of His Royal Heinie's Security Forces. Being from Acadie, we know how to deal with undesirables. Our motto : "I t'row my coat bot' side da road; I come to fight, me!"

Tough as ongles! Loyal and as sustaining as poutine râpée is to estomac. Poutine râpée should be the Royal Cuisine as it represents The Emperor definitively - a simple gooey potatoe paste on the outside and a ham on the inside. Perhaps He could rename it Poutine Rapparee!

I'll have extra sauce and brown sugar s'il vous plaît. Merci, la.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 16 - 11:55 AM

Our people will speak clearly and concisely, as Our Imperial Game Warden gnu has done. Therefore he and his ilk are also appointed Our Imperial Enforcers and Bouncers, charged with enforcing Our proclamations and laws and whims and bouncing (as Tigger would) those who would not keep such into the clutches of Jennie G., Our good IT.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 16 - 11:34 AM

We have added a new form of address for Our audiences with those seeking Our favor:

All above
All below,
Mountains, sea, and sky,
Belong to our Beloved Emperor!
Rah! Rah! Siss Boom Bah! for Him Our Beloved Emperor!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 16 - 01:33 PM

As Chief of Our Imperial Enforcers and Bouncers, I am sad to report that a scurrilous rogue of a Highwayman has been robbing Our Gentry of their valuables. One of our surveillance drones has captured video of this heinous villain at work and I submit it herewith.

If it pleases You, Emp, I should take great pleasure in terminating him with extreme prejudice.

I await your approval.

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer, g (my mark*).

* I get to have a mark, right? I mean, without a mark, seems kinda unofficial, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 01:03 AM

Of course you may mark your mark. We are nothing if not re-markable. But please work with Jennie G., Our Imperial Torturer, and work up a really good termination. We cannot have this sort of thing making the roads and houses dangerous places for Our people, so please make an good example of this bad example so that people will live in fear of Our laws and therefore obey Us.

We find your mark especially appropriate to you, as it has been known in the computer world as a "splat."


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 11:58 AM

We herewith name Joe Offer Our Theologian Extraordinary and Plentypotentiary and Extraordinary Inquisitor Into Various Beliefs.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM

Jennie git yer gun! We's goin after tourerists! Ya know. Them what rob them city folks on the highaway. Word has it that Roger Moore, stupid bitch that he is, is riding through the glen with his merry men as we speak. We must move swiftly... like, RFN, eh? Iffin ya don't get back to me like RFN, I will have no recourse but to act on the Emp's orders and take him out on my own.

Now, normally, I would use a large calibre rifle but I have been advised in a Facebook group that small calibres are better because "it's all about shot placement" soooo, being frugal and wishing to stay within the Emp's budget (cheap bastard), I shall endeavour to take him out with a Red Ryder BB Gun. You know, the one with the compass in the stock? Well, that was the one made famous in the classic Kissmeass movie A Christmas Story. Mine doesn't have the compass. We were poor. But, I never shot my eye out.

Right then! There shall be no delay as I take matters into my own trigger finger. Wish me good luck, tight lines and straight shootin. I am away to defend Our Realm from evil doers. Our Lupines shall be defended no matter the peril I may face. I hear he is good shot but I have a lever action repeater!

g

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 06:19 PM

The Deed is done, my Leech. The Highwayman has been switched off; he's gone for a dirt nap; he bit the dust, bought the farm, kicked the last bucket, sleeps with the fishes, pushes up lupines... he is... no Moore*. He shall not pose a threat to Our Gentry again. Grow your lupines in security and comfort, all.

g (My mark... I finally got a mark! Da would be proud.)

* I went a long way for that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 06:37 PM

It has been pointed out by PM that my post including "Word has it that Roger Moore, stupid bitch that he is,..." is incorrect. Indeed, it is so. I hang my head in shame. Tis not Roger Moore but, in fact, Dennis Moore.

I beg empathy and forgiveness from all of Our Empire, save one. Myself, as I have flogged myself with palm fronds in penance and shall carry my shame forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 07:29 PM

Sorry, Roger. My bad. Right! Reload!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 07:35 PM

JennieG, do you have enough singers for your operations down there? One time I sang to a friend's pet cat, and the cat leaped up onto my person and shoved its paw in my mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Mar 16 - 09:22 PM

Yee har, gnu!

keberoxu, you would be welcome. Anyone who can scare the bejabbers out of a kitty is a good candidate for the Dungeon Chorus. Do you sing tenor? bass? or do you just find your own melody line somewhere?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble and Dungeon Choir Wrangler

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 16 - 12:39 AM

We find it good when Our subjects work together. "Gung ho!" as Mao's boys used to say.

gnu, We award you all the lupines you can carry.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Fenian Rascal
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 02:52 AM

HIM--Your above everything
And nothing is beneath You

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 08:53 AM

47 F and drizzling   (reprise)

Taken by surprise I came to
a grandiose Magnolia tree
Its magnificent one hit wonder
Blossoms with an arrogance to winter

There, the first Robin standing resolutely
despite how near I approach her
She is so staunch her name should be
Stands with fist

Bowing in the rain the simple daffodils
are being called to muster
to wage a mass demonstration soon.
But for now quietly assemble

Tiny Crocus draw all attention
from the winter debris to its oasis
of color and a promise of
great things to come

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 09:07 AM

WTF?    I did not mean to put that there

damn touch screen

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 11:59 AM

Donuel has cursed in Our presence. IT, you know to do.




Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 04:50 PM

Certainly!

Donuel, just follow me please. Shoes must be left at the door.

You aren't allergic to metal, are you?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble and Dungeon Choir Wrangler

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 05:05 PM

WhT ever hapoened to Rapaire?
Was he deposed by his younger brother Rapparee, by another mother.
Do I detect an Emperor takeover?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 05:07 PM

Last Guest was keyboard/challenged Ed T.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 09:55 PM

We change the spelling of Our name as far too many of Our subjects did not understand Irish. This We will rectify, as We wish all of Our subjects to speak, read, and write Irish, Scots Gaelic, Welsh, Polynesian, and Basque fluently so that they will be better able to cooperate in Our endeavors.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)    His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 14 Mar 16 - 11:38 PM

We are watching you Donuel

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,gnu in cogs... neato eh?
Date: 15 Mar 16 - 07:51 PM

Whassup wit' all 'at eh wha'? I speaks English, Yank English, Chiac, Newfie, Labradorian, Bluenoser, Albert County Good Ol' Boy, and Kent County Good Ol' Boy. *Now* you want me to learn all them there other ones? Oh... and I do pretty good at Maineiac too as they eat lobstahs same whay we do in these pahts heeyah. Not like in them fancy restahrawhts down in New Yahk where they cuts em up the middle... nevah could understand that crowd. We cracks em fine wit nuttin but our 'ands, zir. A lobster boilup be some shockin good, buddy but ya gots ta do 'er proper, roight? None a that there fancy shit.

IT... just brainstorming here. What about a lobster chamber in the lowest dungeon? Win-win or what?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 01:48 AM

We would not approve of any lobsters being injured thereby. And gnu -- We have approved your mark, so please use it to ensure Us that it is truly you who are posting.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 16 - 07:49 PM

Nah. We wouldn't injure any lobsters. Gots ta keep em healthy fer the boil-up.

I nominate Kendall for Chief Cookie of Our Empire. He steams lobstahs without any salt. The Old Salt is all about heart health. Proper attention to dietary health is wanted in a Chief Cookie. Kendall for Cookie! says I.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:19 AM

gnu (if that is you, as your mark is missing), We take your suggestion and thank you for it.

We herewith name Kendall Morse as Chief Chef and Jacqui Morse as Chief Chef Chief and Keeper of the Kendall. They are entitled to all of the rights and privileges thereof.

Let this be proclaimed throughout Our Empire!




Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r) His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 08:48 AM

Oh dear! I missed the mark!

g

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 12:57 PM

We require you to toe the mark or We shall withdraw Our permission for you to use the *, or splat, as you requested.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 16 - 02:12 PM

My hair-lipped dog just commented "MARK! MARK! MARK!".

g and his faiphul companion Dawg.

Say! Ya need a mascot? I wouldn't suggest Dawg. He licks... never mind. I suppose it should be Clay. Only befitting, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 16 - 12:37 PM

For failure to use the mark We so graciously allowed, We withdraw from gnu the right to use the splat (or *) as his mark and allow Jennie G., Our IT, to use is as it is reminiscent of the mark made by drops of viscous red liquid found as she pursues her noble task.

To gnu We award the humble mark "g" (without the quotation marks) and require him to use it as authentication of his author or other -ship. Should he fail in this, Our desire, he will learn of the splat from Our IT.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)    His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 12:59 PM

It has been rumoured that there is a Trompe (produces a lot of gas) which has offered for high office in one of Our Emperor's subservient Dominions know as the USA (United States of America). Woefully, reports indicate this gasbag spews drivel and nonsense so as to bloviate his superiority over all others. I take this as an affront to Our Emperor. Given such blasphemy, I hereby request, Rex, (can I call you Rex, (r)? It seems more personal and we're buds, right?), that permission be given to me to extinguish his obviously delusional ravings.

Your most humble,

g

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 01:11 PM

You have Our permission to do what needs to be done. Jennie G., Our IT, will fully cooperate.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex   (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 06:10 PM

Our loyal and devoted subjects,

It is with a heavy heart that We address this topic, but We must insure the continuity of Our reign.

Being without issue, We now open the search for Our successor. We will entertain nominations and assume that only the finest will be brought to Our attention.

After a rigorous examination by Us, a physical examination by Our Imperial Physic, and psychological testing by Our Royal Psycho, We will name the person who will succeed (but can never replace!) Us.

Let the naming begin!



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)   His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Mar 16 - 08:01 PM

I tend to not do anything useful.

What can I do?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 20 Mar 16 - 06:35 AM

Wait. I still get my pension, right? And severance pay?

g

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 20 Mar 16 - 01:26 PM

I'd think I'm entitled to all that Severn's pay you mentioned......

Rap, if your reign continues incessantly (with no offspring offsprung), should Noah and Joan be commissioned to build a Triumphal Ark?....

What successors are swimming in the somewhat trecherous SuckCesspool so far? Don't tell me that Rap ain't gonna reign no more, no more. Who will be snowing us by sleet of hand, and who will we hail should the reign stop? Who shall pay for this drought (as I paid for the last round)? What sort of upper or lower-class precipitation might befall us?....

Considering that most, if not all of us posting are fairly old farts, is there an answer blowing in the wind? Where's the young blood coming from, and is there even much young blood in our official Carry-A-Torture JennieG's blood bank for possible transfusions for the old?

I know that Rap can't reign (nor JennieG arraign)forever, but as Royal Costumer (and REMEMBER, costumer's always right!), I'm still working on giving the present administration proper fits, without having to worry about designing new prints for an outfit for some new Prince or princess for them to make their proper imprints on us......

And wouldn't the faithful mate of our current Emperor be first in line to succeed before we'd plant the seeds to appoint (Bless their appointed little head) some future suck-up to succeed at some Succession Session. Her Imperial Highness has yet to speak to us, and she might prove to be the power behind the throne or even the overthrown.......

'Splain it to me, Kingfish......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Mar 16 - 04:26 PM

Your Imperial Greatness, I thank you for all your great gifts!

Right now I am attending the Revels, i.e. The Oz National Folk Festival, which will under way in just a few days. However, rest assured that I have not slackened on my duties in the dungeon, the oubliette has not been forgotten, etc. I am keeping an eye (not my eye.....that of a miscreant) on what is happening via the wonders and marvels of modern technology.

As to a successor, how could anyone possibly hope to succeed Your Dazzling Magnificence and that of Her Most High and Mighty Imperial Highness Princes Patricia! May I suggest a trial along the lines of Cinderella's glass slipper? I myself personally would be happy to assist in the lopping off of any superfluous appendages.

With kindest regards,
JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
(*) her mark (for which I thank the Emperor once more )

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 16 - 08:44 PM

We do not foresee any immediate need, but We do like to "Be Prepared" and forestall any acrimony or unpleasantness which may result should We be forced to assume a new position in a Higher Realm.

Should that happen, and it is not within our purview as We intend to reign forever and ever, We would be forced to fling thunderbolts at those engaging in any form of naughtiness.

The examination will be thorough. For instance, one of the requirements is to memorize and then forget Machiavelli's "The Prince" in the original Italian.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex    (r)    His alternate mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 16 - 08:33 AM

""That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right? "" Emperor Palpattine