BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 24 - 09:24 PM

He has been straddling Our fence for too long. We should do something about it. We await suggestions.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 24 - 07:01 PM

I wonder whatever has become of frogprince,
the once and future Minister of de Fence . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jan 24 - 03:49 PM

Maybe he had a vegetarian otter, not a veterinarian daughter. Gnu was mostly before my time. Past posts are appreciated.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jan 24 - 02:26 PM

A mis-remembered detail, no doubt; I apologize.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 10:59 PM

I know nothing of a veterinarian daughter - is this a well-kept secret or a mis-remembered detail?

Subject: RE: BS:RIP, as we're emptier
From: Severn
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 10:35 PM

We herd the gnus of our friend's untimely demise, and I feel that scrolling back through this thread will take you back to some of his most witty writing, and is as good a way to remember him as any.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 02:45 PM

Truly, the imperial realm will not be the same without its game warden.

Is it not he who has a daughter who is a veterinarian and a dog-lover?
It fits with him having a large dog of his own.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 12:57 AM

That was beautifully said, Sire. Our Late Imperial Game Warden was a unique one-of-a-kind Warden who was beloved by all, even as he nabbed the odd poacher or two (some of whom were, it must be admitted, extremely odd).

His memory shall be forever enshrined, as per Your kind wishes.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 10:27 AM

We must, as part of Our duty, inform all of Our subjects of the death of Our Imperial Game Warden. His post will be difficult to fill but We will appoint another in due course.

We knew he was much loved the poachers in Our forests and streams. We know that often miscreants would be overlooked as such was the only occupation for which they was qualified. And Our honor accepted these losses as inevitable. We did on occasion question Our Imperial Game Warden about his own well-stocked larder. We once visited his office as he was butchering what seemed to be a magnificent stag from Our forests but he convinced Us that it was “a mangy old cow that was hit by a wagon hauling rock” to a rock concert. When We questioned the magnificent set of antler he explained that the were “sheds” that the old cow got stuck on her head somehow. When we looked skeptical he gave Us a flagon of excellent mead and while We were chatting about the state of Our lands, coyotes silently took away the carcass of the mangy old cow.

He shall be missed. And We now institute 90 das of mourning, a 21 gun salute to be fired at dawn and sunset each day during the period of mourning (using blank, not live ammunition), the Empire's flags to be flown at one-quarter staff, full breakfasts for all prisoners during te days of mourning, a tomb to be carved from a granite boulder of the greatest height and width, mourning parades ever day during the sacred period, all work to cease whilst we mourn together, a Te Deum to be sung in the cathedral daily in perpetuity, and all children to be well mannered and helpful forever.

These are Our wishes, and so will be carried out exactly by Our subjects.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex.            Sealed With Our Tears

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 01:48 AM

Thank you, JennieG, for bringing back this important part of the Imperial Game Warden's world. Real tears were shed this evening.

Imperial Mudelf {Æ}

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 12:37 AM

Sad news has come to us about the Imperial Game Warden, who has now departed this mortal coil.

May his arrows always be sharp wherever he goes.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 03:38 PM

Happy to report that two of the Imperial officers,
gnu and Severn, are around. We have missed them.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 23 - 08:30 PM

She sends Her thanks to all who remembered Her on the anniversary of the day of Her birth. She also asked that all benefits mentioned in Our previous communication should be extended for seven more days, and so it will be done.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 23 - 09:21 PM

My People! Today was the birthday of Our beloved consort. We shan't tell her age as that might cause her dismay, but We are approved to state that she is younger than the mountains. We had a very nice dejeuner at which some excellent wine was served. Certain louts who couldn't keep their voices down have been dealt with by Our guards and We doubt that they will again do such a thing.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion We have determined that this day shall be tax exempt except for those in the Imperial oubliette, who shall have the taxes they may owe doubled unless it would cause hardship for their immediate family. We are just but merciful.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: Rap for Emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:42 PM

Imperial Torturer: If you are using the Binary numerical system, We find that are but eight (8) utilizing Our services. As We are certain you are aware, that would be 3E8 in hexadecimal.

In either case, you are being rewarded for your outstanding service to Us. Details will follow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®    His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Oct 23 - 02:25 AM

Natal felicitations to the Empress, Sire! May her needles always be sharp, and her machine threads never tangle.

The news about taxes will be passed to the denizens of the Imperial Oubliette forthwith.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 06:21 PM

That is good to hear.

And, because it is the magic number - 1000 miscreants are currently in *care*!

One thousand!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 23 - 08:30 PM

She sends Her thanks to all who remembered Her on the anniversary of the day of Her birth. She also asked that all benefits mentioned in Our previous communication should be extended for seven more days, and so it will be done.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex      ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Oct 23 - 02:25 AM

Natal felicitations to the Empress, Sire! May her needles always be sharp, and her machine threads never tangle.

The news about taxes will be passed to the denizens of the Imperial Oubliette forthwith.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 23 - 09:21 PM

My People! Today was the birthday of Our beloved consort. We shan't tell her age as that might cause her dismay, but We are approved to state that she is younger than the mountains. We had a very nice dejeuner at which some excellent wine was served. Certain louts who couldn't keep their voices down have been dealt with by Our guards and We doubt that they will again do such a thing.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion We have determined that this day shall be tax exempt except for those in the Imperial oubliette, who shall have the taxes they may owe doubled unless it would cause hardship for their immediate family. We are just but merciful.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: Rap for Emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 23 - 07:42 PM

Imperial Torturer: If you are using the Binary numerical system, We find that are but eight (8) utilizing Our services. As We are certain you are aware, that would be 3E8 in hexadecimal.

In either case, you are being rewarded for your outstanding service to Us. Details will follow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®    His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 06:21 PM

That is good to hear.

And, because it is the magic number - 1000 miscreants are currently in *care*!

One thousand!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Sep 23 - 03:38 PM

Happy to report that two of the Imperial officers,
gnu and Severn, are around. We have missed them.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Jul 23 - 06:05 PM

I have no news about the Imperial Game Warden;
has anyone else heard from / about him?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 23 - 07:17 PM

998, 999...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 23 - 03:39 PM

Yes, Imperial Torturer, there is an oubliette. It is, however, always flooded and so when the stone (called the "stopper" or "plug") is in place it becomes a somewhat damp place to stay (or so We are told). We doubt that you would like it there, as the guards must always wear hip boots or wet suits. There is also a plethora of mold.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Jul 23 - 09:57 AM

In order to have an Oubliette,
there has to be a dungeon, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jul 23 - 09:11 AM

That modest chateau reminds me of the view I had when I lived in my van down by the river.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Jul 23 - 06:29 AM

That's quite a nice Summer Abode, Sire......does it have an Oubliette?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 10:53 AM

We shall spend it, and possibly the 3rd and the 5th, in Our Imperial Library. It is cool there, close to the Imperial Wine Cellar, and quiet, the last being quietly enforced. Our chef has an excellent selection of foods ready for preparation and neither of Us see any need to leave Our Imperial summer abode.   Yes, it is small but it is adequate for firefly filled evenings and the occasional barbecue or air dance.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 06:45 PM

How will our Imperious Rex spend the Fourth of July this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Jun 23 - 11:44 AM

No new news of gnu, although previous reports say he is better.

It seems that neither the Emperor nor the Game Warden
are doing any hunting or gamekeeping of late.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Jun 23 - 07:07 PM

Word is out that the chirurgeons are paying particular attention
to one of the Emperor's ischial tuberosities.
A procedure may be indicated.


In other news,
the long-lost Imperial Game Warden is also making his presence felt
in places like Facebook.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 22 - 09:32 PM

We find it unnecessary to go door to door begging for treats. However, We allow Our subjects to do as they will as long as they do not harm others or, hopefully, themselves. Thus, you may do as you please regarding Hallowe'en or whatever you wish to call it as long as you don't do damage to yourself or others. Also, We do ask that you keep the damage to property to a minimum. If you wish to be truly frightened We permit the Imperial Torturer to give you the "special tour" of the dungeons, the oubliette, and other little nooks and crannies of which she might be aware.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Oct 22 - 10:18 AM

Does your realm observe Halloween / Samhain?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 22 - 08:49 PM

We see that the boy Charles has ascended to the throne of England, etc. We wish him well and We shall not repeat that We heard his mother refer to him as "Prince Chuckles of Wales."

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®    Imperious Rex

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 13 Oct 22 - 06:50 AM

Indeed, Sire! There is a special corner of the Oubliette for those who cause offence to Your Most Imperial Self and The Empress Patricia, and indeed by extension to any members of the Imperial Family.

Please accept our most hearty felicitations, from the Imperial Torturer and Spouse!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 22 - 07:23 PM

My people, Our patience is being sorely tested. Yesterday was the birthday of Our Princess and she received but one gift! We are certain that Our Imperial Torturer has place enough for more malefactors.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 22 - 11:41 AM

Yes, We did. There was much dancing, music, feasting and general joy in Our Empire. There were many expressions of good wishes, but a serious dearth of gifts. The next day We celebrated by allowing a Chirugeon's Assistant to inoculate Us against influenza and in the case of your Beloved Emperor also against the Plague that has caused so much distress in Our Realm. Our beloved Princess will receive that later.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Oct 22 - 06:53 AM

The Minister of Education notes an update stating
that Imperious Rex and Empress Patricia
observed a wedding anniversary.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 22 - 07:23 PM

ATTENTION: All subjects should buy the Emporers new BOOK!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 22 - 10:16 PM

I wonder if Imperious Rex and the Game Warden have been in touch.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 May 22 - 03:40 PM

As falls Idaho Falls . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 22 - 10:43 AM

How many cards do you want...three?
I will see your Covid and raise you lung cancer.
You're gonna raise me WHAT?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 28 Apr 22 - 09:49 PM

Well - that is indeed a bugger, Sire. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Next week Your Imperial Torturer and Spouse are departing for regions south to visit family and to engage in cultural pursuits, there being exhibitions which appeal to our sensitivies. For the few weeks until we come back oubliette rations will be on a self-service arrangement. Should any of the inhabitants get too greedy in the first few days they will only be hurting themselves, as all the rations are gone there will be no more until we return.

The plumper inhabitants have already started quaking in their boots.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 22 - 07:28 PM

Yes, My subjects, We were again stricken with the plague. The very gates of Our palace have been marked with a large cross, made with tar or pitch, to notify all who may wish to enter of the dangers herein.

Our chirurgeons have informed Us that it is again a mild case, as We have taken advantage of the available vaccinations and the enhancements thereunto and shall, as soon as possible, obtain the second enhancement, and We encourage you, Our subjects, to do the same. You may remember that We also had a case of this plague last October, and We are getting tired of it. But do consider that because We have taken it upon Ourself to have this case of the plague it may be that someone else, perhaps a child, will not be so infected.

As We were in the hamlet of Idaho Falls last weekend and have good reason to believe that We were infected there, We have placed the town of Idaho Falls under interdict for the furtherance of the health of Our subjects.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 22 - 10:23 PM

Most excellent suggestions, both of them! We completely approve, and request only that the prisoners so used be used only for the foulest jobs, such as clearing the cesspools of debris. More, in Our leninecy, we will allow the prisoner-workers to eat anything they find uneaten around their job sites.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Apr 22 - 09:01 PM

... of course,
one could wait to throw prisoners into the oubliette until
there was an empiratical banjo ensemble serenading the prisoners inside,
at which point some of those warm bodies in there
would be rigid with tension whilst enduring the noise . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Apr 22 - 11:53 PM

Not quite full, Sire....there is always room for the odd miscreant or two, some of whom are quite odd indeed.

I have been toying with the thought of soft-releasing an occasional prisoner so that they can be engaged in Good Works, viz:

Helping to clean up after recent diasatrous floods, some of which occurred a mere few hours away from the Imperial Oubliette. Many towns, large and small, suffered a great deal of damage so the clean-up will be ongoing for some time yet. It occurred to me that perhaps the less recalcitrant prisoners could be of use in said clean up?

A side gig of this would be to hold, each evening, a banjo concert to cheer those hapless souls who have lost homes, businesses and possessions and to remind them that, bad as their plight may be, there is always someone worse off.

If this meets with your Imperial Approval the process can be expedited - just think of the brownie points it will rack up for your reign!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 22 - 08:14 PM

Imperial Torturer, We have been informed, perhaps erroneously, that the Imperial Oubliette is nearly full. If this is true, what steps might be taken to remedy the situation? We would not like prisoners thrown into the oubliette to have a soft landing on their companions.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark