BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 08:11 PM

Vice Imperial Something olddude is bound to know a blacksmith.

Didn't George Frederic Handel write about a harmonious blacksmith? Ours could chime in time.

Any takers? The job is vacant.....much like the brain of your Imperial Torturer right now because a couple of builder blokes are drilling something loud and shrill not far from her delicate ears while they prepare new bathroom cupboards to replace the flood-sodden ones.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 02:47 PM

Hope that Imperious Rex received the proper imperial treatment
from his barber-chirurgiens yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: Wrap for Wimperor
From: Severn
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 06:04 PM

The Rodent Regent seems more powerful than Howdy, but I tend to respond when Doody calls I expect them both as capable (Mighty Mouse was more capable, but then he had a cape. He loses points for constantly singing Opera, though) of fronting a puppet regime, but I was never buffaloed by whoever was pulling the strings.

Besides, Howdy's show featured Captain Kangaroo back before he was even a First Looie before he went to OCS as the original Clarabelle, working without Annette to fall back on (Princess Summerfall Winterspring was royalty and off limits, lent out to a King for an Elves Movie, but untouchable by mere mortals).. Unlike in Disney's world, he didn't even get a girlfriend with which to settle down and raise nephews and nieces with and beffore every show, they made sure he didn't have any "alky" in his seltzer bottle. The seltzer bottle, alas was no match for the former Mortimer Mouse's club, so no wonder Bob Keeshan ran off and enlisted.

But in the end, I'd rather be slipped a Howdy than a Mickey....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 07:56 PM

Ah, Severn, the Mudcat isn't the same without you.

Do YOU know somebody who could help Imperial Torturer JennieG
with the rusted chains and shackles?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 09:22 PM

WHAHOO Severn that was like a difficult mandolin solo.
I've never captured the tone and spirit of this thread like you guys.
Your station works great on the Pike but fades at Aspen.

Iceland again?

Fishin off the coast of Iceland I caught an old fish and pulled it tight against the side of the boat with a hook digging into him. He was old with flapping scales like tar paper flapping in the water. Even barnacles had glued themselves to his belly. fast closing bright red bloody gills and fluttered while I looked into his eye larger than mine as though silver foil was behind the lens. His mouth had three lines still stuck to old hooks like white whiskers that told old stories of how he broke free three times.
His eye didn't look into mine but stared at the sea.
I cut line.
Rap yelled "what happened".
I couldn't explain why I let him go.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 09:46 PM

Rusted chains and shackles yield to WD40, and some chemicals which convert the rust into hematiite. But there's a certain charm to being tortured with rusty equipment, of course--it adds to the ambience,doncha know. So I suggest the Torturer make haste slowly.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 12:28 AM

Thank you, Donuel, though I someho managed to misspell "Elvis".

I'm sorry you can't get the WOWD94.3 FM signal once you get into Aspen Hill (where I used to live but my ex still does.....sigh!.....), but if you and the rest of the Empire go to takomaradio.org then we are streamable worldwide and I'll be taking my turn this morning Friday December 8th from 8-10 am at hosting "Ballads In The Morning", doing some holiday and winter music this time out. I do that show once a month, but I'll be co-hosting "The Blues Comes Calling" on this coming Tuesday and every alternate Tuesday. from 6-8 pm. I have no idea what the official radio voice of the Empire is, but this is my non-paying hobby at the moment.

By the way, did you folks see the photo of how some medic did a wrap for our Emperor? He's apparently been driving the carpools through the tunnel again against doctor's orders. He's got an ace wrapped part way up his left sleeve, even though he already wins all poker games he's involved in by decree.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 02:54 PM

The splint came off, according to Imperious Rex.

Subject: RE: BS: Rust for whimperers
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 07:15 PM

Then we will give him our unwrapped attention.......

I hope the tortured ones have had their Tetanus Shots. The corrosion does add a certain rustic touch, I'd think.......

Rust never sleeps, so luckily, at least it doesn't snore. Cold comfort, I know........

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 10:12 PM

We are recovering.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rope for im-peacher
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 10:37 PM

While you are at it, I've got a sofa that needs re-covering.......

I hope they taught you to heal in obedience school.....

"I could use one of those Carpal tunnels for my goldfish to swim through", thought Severn with a koi smile......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 10:56 PM

Well, it's a good sign that the Imperial Splint was no longer needed.
But the description of those incisions left me speechless.
Utterly at a loss for words. except ooooooooh.

And then, at some stage,
is there going to be physical rehab?    More ouch.   

JennieG,
it was good to hear that you were back under your own roof.
No longer in a hotel?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 10 Dec 17 - 01:05 AM

Ah - no, sadly. We were due to move back home on Wednesday 13th Dec but more damage has been found in the kitchen, thanks to two incompetent blokes sent at different times by the insurance company (one an assessor, the second a builder) who, when asked by Himself and I, "would it be an idea to check behind the dishwasher? there seems to be a drip in the cupboard next to it" answered "oh no, that won't be needed." Turned out there was dater damage and mould between back of cupboards and walls, so now the bottom kitchen cupboard cupboards may have to be be replaced and also some of the wall..

I have saved Special Places for them in the dungeon, believe me.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Dec 17 - 12:00 PM

Well, JennieG,
this is a holiday season for the record books for you.

May you live long enough in sound enough health
to look back on this year
and make an entertaining story out of it,
with friends to laugh along with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Dec 17 - 03:46 PM

How heartening it is,
that his Imperious Rapness
is reporting by tablet
to this year's Christmas Tavern,
with a giant wombat in residence.

Painful incisions, or no painful incisions.
(That thing on the elbow, jeez!)

Subject: RE: BS: Xmas Rapine for the emperor
From: Severn
Date: 14 Dec 17 - 03:00 PM

No mention of His trusty steed yet, but he's there in full costume w/ sword, except for his plumed hat which was knocked off by a drunken bat whose radar got jammed from liquor intake and grabbed by some rascal of a juvenile squid who ran off with it somewhere.

I'd say our tavern's resident Avenger is doing pretty well, for the shape he's in....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Dec 17 - 02:28 PM

Greetings, JennieG,
how goes the restoration of your home and hearth?

Imperious Rex is busy at the Mudcat Tavern of late.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 17 - 08:39 PM

We have been in some pain, off and on, since We submitted Ourself to the care of a barber-surgeon. Our left wrist is scarred, it looks for all the world as if We had tried to slash Our wrist and did it wrong (as if We could or would do that). There is also a scar on the outside of Our left arm which is about six inches, or 15.24 centimeters, long. A repair of something called "carpal tunnel syndrome" was done and Our ulnar nerve had to be repositioned in Our arm.

But We are doing well, and should events transpire that We cannont extend the greetings of the season at the proper time, we offer you this song.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 03:38 PM

The Best of the Season to you, Imperious Rex,
and to your happily recovering Imperial Spouse.
... and your siblings, and nieces, etc etc

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Dec 17 - 04:35 PM

A true classic, oh Great Sire!

Best wishes for the festive season to your Mighty Self and others in your household, especially Princess Patricia.

Your Imperial Torturer and Himself moved back to their living quarters yesterday, slightly spartan quarters to be sure, but still home. Very little furniture (any which escaped the flood is in storage awaiting new carpet to be laid but we have a bed, two easy chairs, and a small dining table and chairs), bare concrete floors, and a kitchen which will be majorly repaired after the coming Yule season. However it is still home, and we are grateful to be here, and Bianca The White Cat (who comes in handy to annoy any miscreants suffering from allergies) is very happy to be with us once again.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Dec 17 - 01:59 PM

Now word is out that
in January 2018
the barber-chirurgiens will treat
an Imperial Vein or two.

Shudder.

Subject: RE: BS: Rapture for emperistas
From: Severn
Date: 24 Dec 17 - 01:10 AM

Still sacred,, now scarred, yet not scared. The best of the season to you!

"Rap, one emperor, disoriented is...."

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 17 - 09:17 PM

My people!

On this Christmas Day, We proclaim a holiday. We do, in fact, proclaim every day from now until the middle of January a holiday! Do not, however, attempt to miss work or otherwise alleviate from your existence that which is needful to keep Our Empire enjoying its full economic potential.

We also promise here that there will be no increase in contributions to Our treasury during that time!

We do not, by this proclamation, exclude any religion or non-religion whatsoever, save only those that injury on of Our subjects. All can participate in these holidays!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 17 - 09:47 PM

Sigh. Voting for an Emperor on Mudcat is like buying a bicycle for a polliwog.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Dec 17 - 10:45 PM

Gee - thanks, Sire!

Problem is we have missed it here as it's already mid-afternoon on Boxing Day. Can we take a rain check?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 17 - 08:53 PM

Imperial Naysayer, polliwogs grow up.

You may take this as a gentle correction, done in Our benevolence and Our holiday spirit.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®            His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Dec 17 - 03:50 PM

Does the Christmas Cat from the Secret Santa
have a name?
Or only a cage?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Dec 17 - 12:27 PM

Wishing a safe and healthy New Year's observation
to Imperious Rex
and his
newly repositioned ulnar nerve.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 17 - 08:02 PM

Our People!

We wish you all, even the Imperial Naysayer, a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

Please do not forget that the first corvée, chevage, serjeanty, socage, and scot and lot are are due by Munchinmas.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Jan 18 - 06:25 AM

Thank you, Sire!

Best wishes to you, Her Royal Highness Princess Patricia and the rest of the Imperial Family for a happy and healthy year ahead.

Some of the miscreants are already labouring to produce said stuff.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: wrap up for a year' worth of emperor
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jan 18 - 10:22 AM

A loud snap is heard.....

The official documentary filmmaker who was covering 2017 closes out the last act and calls out, "That's a wrap!".....

It certainly. IS, if I ever saw one, and he's still there to guide us through yet another year. ALL HAIL!

Why hail, yes!


Once again he sees through us as he sees us through. He sees the day and he seizes the day, and what he sees is....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Mar 18 - 09:16 AM

Knock knock knock, your Sire-ness?

Reporting on a Mudcat thread about light bulbs.

A Mudcat moderator has assured the readers of the veracity
of your encounter with LED bulbs that were a menace to life and limb.

Some of the others posting to the thread
question and doubt the moderator's report.

At your convenience, o great Rapness,
maybe you could post to the light bulb thread
and straighten them out.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Mar 18 - 04:24 PM

Shine a light on the matter, as it were.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 18 - 11:13 PM

We have done so. LEDs (an abbreviation for one of Our titles, to whit, "Light Emitting Deity") are the wave of the future.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 18 - 01:01 AM

My People!

We are in the Kingdom of Hawai'i, paying an Imperial visit to their King, Kamehameha IX and his queen, Lahaina Nui.

They translated Our given first name, which is of Hebrew derivation, into Hawai'ian. It translates to "'Owaikaho'akua" and means "He who is like God."   Great comment was made about this and how appropriate it was.

In other matters, Our trading ships will no longer pay a tariff for cargoes, and will (of course) be subject to inspection for invasive species and proscribed items.

They are also considering an Imperial Partnership with Us, but that is still being discussed.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rapp for app.-eror
From: Severn
Date: 17 Mar 18 - 01:10 AM

What's this about light bulbs? How many emperors does it take to screw one in? Is it the one that comes on over your head when you get an idea, and if so, have we been mis-LED while it's been out? If you can't handle Light Duty, must the Royal Physician confine you to your bed?.......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Mar 18 - 11:47 AM

Ah, Severn, it isn't the same without you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:07 PM

There are stresses upon the peaceable empire.
The naysayer has said nothing for weeks,
while being treated for serious illness.
And Imperious Rex ended up in the hospital
being supplied with nitroglycerine.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 06:02 PM

This is not good!

Sending all healing thoughts to our Most Imperious Overlord.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 10:38 PM

We thank you for your concern. We have an appointment at the Imperial Cardiology Clinic on the third day of May, Anno Domini 2018, for a stress test. We find this to be unnecessary as We are under enough stress, but the Imperial Chirurgeons feel it needful so that their positions shall not become suddenly vacant.

Otherwise, We feel well.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 May 18 - 01:56 PM

Today the Imperial Chirurgians give the Emperor his stress test,
and I hope that it will not be necessary for heads to roll.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 18 - 10:39 PM

We are in glowing health. That is primarily because We were injected with ^99mTc, that is, the metastable nuclear isomer of technetium-99. Thus, when We enter a darkened room such as a dungeon We not only bring light with Us, but We are the light.

But We shall not know the results of these chirurgeons' test for a dayor more. As they have not contacted Us yet, We can only assume that nothing immediate was discovered.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 May 18 - 02:11 PM

Latest reports from the Imperial Naysayer indicate
that a robotic surgeon with six arms
will be used to perform surgery on said naysayer.

On Tues May 8.

This conjures up images of the god Shiva
dancing on one pair of legs
whilst waving three pairs of arms in the air.

Unless the surgeon is a robotic insect?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 18 - 04:23 PM

Today the Imperial Naysayer
goes under the multiple arms.

And I can't think of anything else to say.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 18 - 09:23 AM

Our Imperial Naysayer is in good hands. Indeed, many good hands.

We have had Our report and We have some infarct in Our Imperial heart. We find that part of Our heart is in rebellion against Us and so We shall have to deal rather harshly with it. We had long hoped to avoid this, but We suppose the Time Has Come.

We ask Our subjects not to weep and bewail Our small problem. Instead, rejoice with Us that We can punish the rebellious heart part in the manner it so richly deserves! And let the fate of this part be a warning to all the rest!

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:02 PM

Keep yer Imperial stick on the ice, Big Emp.

As keeper of yer game, I am monitoring moose stranded by the floods in yer NB.ca. They've been staying on bridges on the T-Can. DERD (formerly DNR) tried to herd a young bull and cow over one bridge to where they could get browse but they are too weak. DERD doesn't figure they can bring browse to the moose 'cause "... it wouldn't go well." Sire, permission to slap these ^$&*#$@!!!ing pussies up side the head?

g... you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:08 PM

It's grand to hear from the Imperial Warden,
but bad news about moose weak with starvation.

I believe the undetected heart attack happened, years ago,
to John Mullencamp as well --
meaning, it was detected after the fact. Wake-up call.
He's still with us, thankfully.

The Imperial Naysayer, however, has had to put his personal plumbing
under a power greater than his own
to resolve whatever the heck is conspiring against
his health and well-being.
Hope we hear from him sooner rather than later.

That leaves the Minister of De Fence,
although I don't know what he can do about the starving moose.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 09 May 18 - 05:56 PM

Oh Great Sire, would you like me to keep a small corner of the oubliette for the rebellious heart?

It's no problem, you know.

Meanwhile, the inmates are keeping vigil for the Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 09 May 18 - 11:11 PM

Can't do much about the unfortunate moose; they need fed more than they need fenced. But I still have some of those Canadian Rouleques watches at a bargain price.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 May 18 - 09:51 PM

Our Most Gracious Rapturous Rex is due for a military veteran reunion this month, and it seems that he will be there as scheduled,
regardless of the sneaky infarction. Wishing him Bon Voyage.

There is a dispatch from the Imperial Naysayer elsewhere,
as he has returned from his rendez-vous with
The Thing With Six Arms, whoever or whatever it was.
And I won't attempt a description of his present condition.
He said his faithful dog recognizes him, though.