BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 09:46 PM

And the wrath of the Almighty was visited upon places
beyond North Carolina, where the Imperial Naysayer
is undergoing physiotherapy in hospital.

North Carolina, no stranger to ice storms and freezing rain,
watched these past few days
as places near and far on the continent
were smote ? smited ? smitten ?
with heavy snow, and with ice.

The Imperial Game Warden reports from the North that
the ice made the roads impassable
and that his garage door was frozen shut.

The Weather Terrorists, I mean the Weather Channel,
named the winter storm Harper.
(after Harper Lee, I wonder?)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 11:14 PM

Meanwhile down in the dungeon there have been, and will be, heatwaves of epic proportions. The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have cool(ish) quarters, but the inmates have been doing it tough when the temperature rises over the century.

Do them good, I say!

We are sending warm thoughts to the Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 11:12 AM

I myself have no access to the CaringBridge page at which
Mudcatter Amos posts updates about his convalescence.
Maybe we all will have to wait until
the Imperial Naysayer
has the energy to spare
to make an effort to [gain]say something himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 01:34 PM

We, the Emperor Rapparee, doth this day command you, the

Imperial Naysayer,

to get the hell out of thy bed and chop wood, play a guitar, sing (or croak) a song to gladden

the hearts of those in whose care thou art , or something else.

Do it, Dude! Do it NOW!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 02:19 PM

but i'm tiyurd all the time now. i'm thinking of selling all my canvas and paints and/or auctioning the instruments. then i can declutter all the way until the end. its a new era for beta or worse.

i went looking for inner g but only found sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 19 - 06:06 PM

Regarding His Imperious Rapness's proclamation of 23 January,
I find it very much depends on which programs and browser etc
are installed on which public computer station
as to what sort of script or typeset turns up.
One time it looked like Gothic Fraktur.
Today, it looks nothing like. All the Fraktur is out.

In more recent new,
The Imperial Naysayer by report is to be sent home from
the rehab center at the hospital,
and to be attended by a veritable entourage of custodial caretakers
in his domicile.

Should be, at the least, interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 05:51 PM

did anybody else spot sun dogs?
(I missed 'em --
there were pictures on the internet)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 09:51 PM

My people! We are quite distressed to inform you that We have been suffering in humble silence from an immune response involving Our ICAM-1 receptors and Our CDHR3 receptor. We have been visited by Our healer who has assured Us that he and We are doing all We and he can, but only Our symptoms can be treated. Because of this, We must cancel all of Our appearances and visitations and, for the good of you, Our subjects, remain in camera until Our symptoms disappear and We are again determined to be noninfectious. We would not wish to be faulted for instigating a plague amongst you!

However, We have carefully sequestered all of Our various tissues and soiled linens and will, at the proper time, see that they are distributed to those in the Imperial Oubliette.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 10:27 PM

The inhabitants of said Imperial Oubliette thank you from the bottom of their hearts, Sire......or perhaps that should be from the heart of their bottoms.

Either way, they will be most grateful!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Mar 19 - 07:18 PM

Is our most gracious Imperious Rex out of --
whatever it was -- quarantine yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 02:10 PM

our most gracious Imperious Rex is out of his straight jacket, gay jacket, quarantine and is out walking the streets. It does not appear to be measles.

Emporer Rex, in your absence there appears to be a usuper of the throne.
This infidel is using language like sideline,bench,banish,ignore and "do not respond to" rhetoric that seeks to establish himslf as the arbiteur of all speech in the kingdom and seeks the power to make all posts subject to his approval or punishment.
We are awaiting your judgement as to the degree of threat.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 05:23 PM

An update has been delivered about the Imperial Naysayer.
He has in fact obeyed the imperial direction,
and has taken up guitar and lifted his voice in song.

In fact, the Imperial Naysayer is in better repair
than his computer,
which is why this thread has had no naysayings of late.
(See thread on his convalescence, above the BS line.)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 12:34 PM

Hoy!
Imperial Warden Gnu!

What news about the Imperial Naysayer Amos?

anyone else been in touch,
like the Minister of De Fence maybe?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 09:06 PM

The Imperial Naysayer will be naysaying no more.

Amos has left us.

Feeling great sadness in the Imperial Oubliette today.....even though the Imperial Naysayer never visited the Oubliette in person we felt we knew him. He will be much missed.

The Imperial Torturer (too sad to sign out properly)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 09:59 PM

In memory of the passing of the Imperial Naysayer, We herewith declare a period of thirty Earth days, or seven hundred and twenty rising and settings of the Sun, of mourning, to commence immediately.

During this time there will be no needless mirth, no needless frivolity, no needless music or song or both. During this period all of our subjects will wear black armbands, personal linens, hatbands, and weep into black handkerchiefs. The prisoners in the Imperial Oubliette will eat nothing but black food and drink naught but black water during this time.

Ritual mourning suicide is expressly forbidden under pain of death, as is ritual scarification and self-injury. Weeping and gnashing of teeth shall be kept to a minimum.

The late Imperial Naysayer would have wanted it that way.

We further declare that from this time forward this date shall be known throughout Our Realm as "Imperial Naysayer Day."


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 02:18 AM

Already done, Sire. The Empiratical Banjo Ensemble is tuning up as we speak (although you would probably never know it) to play in tribute to Our Late Beloved Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Mar 19 - 03:17 PM

well, maybe a dispensation for
St. Patrick's Day
when green could commingle with black?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Mar 19 - 01:42 AM

The Empiratical Banjo Ensemble will be hanging green streamers - only one streamer per banjo, we don't want to get too carried away - For St Patrick's Day. This is in addition to the black they are already using.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Mar 19 - 06:07 PM

It seems that Our Most Gracious Emperor
had an appointment with his barber/chirurgiens
about something on his face.
That barbers don't normally encounter.

Whatever, he was eventually released without said something.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 12:02 PM

A treasonous question has crossed my mind:

Does Our Most Gracious Emperor
still have an empire to reign over
without his Naysayer?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 06:39 PM

There is a special place in the Imperial Oubliette for those thinking treasonous thoughts.....

Your Imperial Torturer is currently at a folk festival, first volunteering for a few days then enjoying the music over the weekend. The inmates are running the Oubliette in the meantime.

Regards,
The Imperial Torturer unable to sign off correctly because a tablet doesn't have the same capabilites as a proper puter

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM

"The inmates are running the Oubliette...."

Well, considering that they're all chained to walls, locked in stocks, or tied to beds of nails, there's not much "running" to it, is there? It's pretty unlikely that the Imperial Torturer will return from her folk festival to find that the inmates have painted the walls puce or rearranged the furniture in some configuration which she finds objectionable. N'est-ce pas?

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Mark! Mark! Where's my damned mark?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 10:04 PM

We here by give and decree that the Imperial Ignoramus shall henceforth be awarded and shall use as his mark and sign a pilcrow, which because he knows not what that is, is told that it looks like this:

¶

And so We mote it be!

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex       ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 05:51 AM

Sounds about right, Imperial Ignoramus!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:59 AM

Thank you for the new mark, Your Raptness, but after a diligent search, I have found my old mark! It is this: <¡!> .

Now, it seems I have gone from being unmarked to being over-endowed with marks. It's really quite remarkable.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!> or ¶ (whichever floats your boat)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 12:48 PM

In the office of Imperial propoganda we are busy taking 4 words out of context and super imposing video of the most hideous kind to defame our defamors. Death threats against our enemies abound.

Progress report 4 14 19 :^/

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 01:44 PM

Our gift of a mark of the pilcrow to the Imperial Ignoramus, granted 14 April 2019 at 10:04 post meridian (Mudcat Time) is withdrawn with prejudice. The II should have been more careful in bothering Us over something the II should have preserved and clasp to his bosom.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 03:40 PM

We hope the Imperial Torturer din't forget to put fresh batteries in the timers which control the Imperial Oubliette's automatic swill dispensers. Not that anyone would care if the inmates were to starve, but it would be a shame to have to throw out a batch of perfectly good uneaten swill.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
There's no mark like the old mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 08:08 PM

Oh by the way.... His Rapturousness's statement that I should have clasped his gift of a mark to my bosom is not entirely logical. I am a male. I do not have a bosom. The closest thing I have to a bosom is a butt crack. I tried to clasp the mark to my butt crack, but it fell out. That's how I lost it.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Never confuse a mark with a snark <¡!>
(Especially if you're going to carry it around in your butt crack)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:55 PM

Fresh batteries were installed before we came away, so there is a fresh batch of swill fermenting as we speak!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 01:50 PM

How is our Minister of De Fence, by the way,
and
the Imperial Game Warden?

And the place isn't the same without Severn ...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM

Our Most Gracious Emperor
went to hospital by ambulance,
reporting chest pains, this morning.

The hospital has released him for now,
but more tests are scheduled.
I recall his disclosure of infarct and rebellion in his Imperial Heart.

Subject: RE: BS: Roop for emperist
From: Severn
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 12:57 PM

No place ever is, for better or worse.....

I have been through some medical difficulties culminating in the installation of a pacemaker, but I am slowly getting back to what passes for normal these days. My face is still visible out there on local radio, if you stare hard enough.....

Meanwhile,



I've got arrhythmia.
I've still got music.
I've got no gal at present,
I can't expect much of anything more.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 11:31 AM

As we speak,
the Emperor is keeping his appointment
for stress tests, following up on
his diagnosis of atypical chest pains.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 06:49 PM

Good to know our Great Imperial One is being checked up on.

Severn, your sweet voice has been much missed in the Oubliette!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM

Robot cameras were added to the Imperial stress test procedures.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Apr 19 - 02:26 PM

Severn, your troubles sound as though
they threatened to silence you for good --
thoughts and prayers for you AND your pacemaker.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Apr 19 - 08:00 PM

This is like the 7th thread that looks like Jane's Rainbow.
Keb, rumors of our deaths have been highly exaggerated.

Any hospital visit that includes red jello is worth it.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 19 - 09:10 PM

We are not amused.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®          His mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Apr 19 - 12:35 PM

And I don't know if Severn is amused or not, either.
One never knows with Severn,
especially in this particular thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Apr 19 - 12:44 PM

I am bemused.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Apr 19 - 12:58 PM

Are there any C-mused Demused or Emus?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 19 - 09:56 PM

My dear subjects! It has indeed been some time since We last addressed you as Our time has been filled with chirugeons and others. But We are doing well and ask you to continue to send Us good thoughts. Soon, indeed, We hope to be released from medicine's durance vile and allowed to resume Our benevolent ways so that you, Our subjects, can continue to thrive -- save, of course, those in Our oubliette. We ask the Imperial Torturer to continue the banjo, accordion, and lute trios that entertain those therein so well.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 08:30 AM

Jolly good news, Sire!

The banjo ensemble continues apace, although it still doesn't have a tuner......not that it matters, because it's difficult to tell whether they are in tune anyway.

We have been thinking of adding a bagpipe band, what do you think? The dulcet tones of the pipes would drown out the wails of the tortured miscreants quite well, we think.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 10:34 AM

I suppose I shall send The Emperor a few good thoughts, even though I doubt their efficacy.

For many years, I have been sending evil, wicked, and destructive thoughts to people I don't like and, as far as I know, not a single one of them has dropped dead in his/her tracks as a result. Witness the fact that my ex-wife is still among the living. My despised former boss is dead, but he was old, smoked two packs of Marlboros per day for thirty years, and had already had a quadruple bypass by the time I went to work for him. So he doesn't count.

So, if I know for a fact that bad thoughts don't work, why should I think good thoughts would behave differently?

However, as stated above, I shall attempt to do the good thought thing anyway. All I have on my morning agenda is lawnmower work and that always causes my mind to get stuck in bored-repetitive-stupid-thought mode, so I shall attempt to steer the stupid thoughts in Emperor Rap's general direction. That would be northwest, give or take a few degrees, and with a range of roughly 2,050 miles (3,300 KM).


Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Hark! A lark? No, it's a mark! <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 04:26 PM

BWL what you suggest does not happen in an automoton deterministic universe in the way you thought.
Now if you see that entangled particles do not end in divorce then you may surrender to an emergent universe and you will understand.
A word to the wise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjGgqcyLpug

It took me 50 years to understand the double slit experiment, the underlying reality and birth dreams but now without bragging, it is clear as a bell. Phenomena I too thought was impossible, now works better than a charm in a way far different than previously imagined. In short it really works. I can illucidate if needed.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 06:20 PM

… especially if the bagpipes are out of tune, as well --
I hear from bagpipe students
that bagpipes are often played out of tune.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 07:18 PM

Can I get out my bagpipes rap. Carry on oh royal on

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 19 - 08:00 PM

BWL what you suggest does not happen in an automoton deterministic universe in the way you thought.

Donuel, please don't try to educate the Imperial Ignoramus. He is a fool. It's part of his job description. He is also a comic persona, not the real me. Do not confuse what he thinks with what I think. Thinking is not his strong suit.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Apr 19 - 02:05 PM

All hail the vice emperor, olddude.
I was a little anxious
that we wouldn't hear from him again.
By all means put away the firearms
and bring out the war pipes.