BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 May 18 - 11:24 AM

The Imperial Naysayer sent dispatches
to confirm that he is doing naything, I mean nothing,
while recuperating at home.
His two companions are Pain and Pharma at the moment.

Hawa'ii is extremely restless since the Emperor's visit.
Meanwhile the Emperor is traveling, but not to Hawa'ii.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 May 18 - 02:07 PM

And olddude is rejoicing in the singing of Cyndi Lauper,
which is a healthy and righteous thing to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 18 - 10:10 PM

We shall fly on the morrow.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 18 - 09:09 AM

I have never flown on the Morrow. I have flown on the Boeing, the Bombardier, the Embraer, the Airbus, and the Cessna, but not the Morrow.

Hopefully, it is not some sort of weird experimental aircraft.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 18 - 02:00 PM

From the Imperial Naysayer:

Yes, I tangled with the Six-Armed Robotic Beast in the dark caverns of the unmappable UNC Health Care System. I escaped, not unscathed, but with lots of instructions and pretty pieces of plastic from which to carry on my daily business of living. I am recovering nicely, thank you, and the prognosis is more or less good. There were found a couple of teeny-weeny specks of carcinoma but mostly nothing of consequence. Unfortunately, all this hammering and pounding on the lhysical and the mortal has left me half addled and entirely fixated on the mortal shell, with little imagination left to talk about more cosmic or even Imperial issues. Since I don't like talking about myself so much, I generally opt for dignifies silence, for better worse.

Persevere and propser, my friends!


A, Non-Voluntary Imperial Naysayer

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 May 18 - 11:12 AM

you say propser,
and I say prosper ..,

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 18 - 04:03 PM

For the nonce We will allow the Imperial Naysayer his wont.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 May 18 - 07:25 PM

The twenty-one gun salute from the USS Constitution,

tugboats and all.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 May 18 - 06:24 PM

But His Imperial reunion with his brother has been troubled
by his brother's malady.
I'm thinking his brother is in no condition
to appreciate a twenty-one-gun salute,
even from the USS Constitution.

Hope both of them feel reassured and recovered soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 May 18 - 01:56 PM

Amos is insulting Rapparee elsewhere in this forum,
so SOMEBODY must be feeling a little better.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 18 - 08:51 PM

We have returned and We must tell you that Our wretched brother is as well as ever he was.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 18 - 11:43 AM

ANyone who leaps up and claims Imperial status for himself, and hangs there basking in the adulation of an unthinking crowd of witless layabouts and half-baked rounders, deserves all the criticism the market can muster. Our current Resident is a prime example.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 May 18 - 02:48 PM

Gnu? Any new news about moose?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 18 - 09:31 PM

We take time from Our busy schedule to remind you:

Since none of the political party candidates can get it right, I say we appoint an emperor.. I hereby appoint Rap.... (Olddude, 2016 February 11).

and

The emperor is an insufferable narcissist, and what's worse a philosophical solipsist with delusional patterns of bipolarity. He would be a big improvement over any of the Repugnicans on the ballots. (Amos, same date).

Should any more discussion occur We will have the Imperial Torturer become involved.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 26 May 18 - 07:58 AM

The Imperial Torturer is waiting, oh Great One!

I do like a nice torture......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 May 18 - 12:31 PM

What say the denizens of Emperor Rapparee's reign
about the geological unrest in Hawa'ii
since Imperious Rex paid the place a visit?

We're talking homeless families here, after all.
And car-eating lava flows, and so on.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Sep 18 - 05:37 PM

Well, Hawa'ii was some time ago
and now there's a tsunami in Indonesia.
The world moves on.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 18 - 09:43 PM

Greetings to Our people!

We have done much since Our last post, including a change of Our computing machine.

Whereas the Imperial Naysayer has undergone more torture at the hands of chirugeons than Our Imperial Torturer could ever apply We pardon him of his latest misconducts and hope that in this, Our magnanimity, he is stimulated to transmogrify his life and return to the paths of goodness and righteousness in which he was raised and from which he has oft gone astray.

Imperial Torturer, We believe that We will be providing you with a number of deserving miscreants by the Christmas holidays so that you can enjoy them with with gusto and good cheer.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark
The Glorious and Merciful

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 08:08 AM

Many thanks, Oh Great One!

The Imperial Oubliette will be running on automatic pilot for several weeks. On Wednesday 3rd October your Imperial Torturer and Spouse will be hopping (all right, walking) onto a plane to spend 20 hours up there in a tin box with several hundred of our New Best Friends and 97 crying babies, briefly landing at Vancouver in the Great North Land of Canada before flying for several more hours to Toronto, finally exiting into fresh air with a great sigh of relief. The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have a Canaussian son who they haven't seen for three years and who has undergone major health issues in that time, so he needs a hug from his mummy and daddy and they need a hug from him.

During this time the miscreants will be fed and watered occasionally via the odd trusty (some of whom are really odd, believe me!). Hopefully the smell shouldn't be too unbearable by the time of our return at the end of November; said trusties are allowed to hose out the dungeon and its inmates once a week.

Using cold water, of course.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 09:01 PM

We ask you to wave as you fly over Our lands.

Our Great Northern Province should not be too cold at this time of year, and Toronto is a rather nice city, as cities go.

Enjoy yourselves, or find yourself in the Oubliette. We have spoken.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark
Bringer Of Good Times For All

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Sep 18 - 10:16 PM

Many thanks, Sire! I have already started practising The Wave.

Don't worry - we fully intend to enjoy ourselves, we even have a Mudcatter friend to look up, Black Walnut.

Back at the end of November.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Oct 18 - 01:24 PM

I had to look around the Mudcat forum
to find out about Black Walnut.

You two oldtimers have probably known Black Walnut all these years,
but I'm a newbie
and Black Walnut stopped posting to the Mudcat
before I even knew the Mudcat existed.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Dec 18 - 12:57 PM

The Imperious Rapturous Rex had to spend a night in hospital
following the latest ministrations of the barber-chirurgiens.
Ought I to write chirurgienne, since Dr. Fritz is of the feminine gender?

Until recovery is complete, it appears that
much time in the prone position will be necessary:
tummy to the floor, posterior to the ceiling.
A most unusual position for an emperor.
But then
I lack the imagination, and am also too squeamish,
to picture the alternatives...

Moreover, if I read the latest imperial update correctly,
Dr. Fritz presumed to speak of a second procedure in future.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 05:34 AM

This is not good news. We are trusting the good Dr Fritz to do an excellent job of surgery, or she may find herself on the fritz (as it were).

The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have returned from their trip to the far side of the known universe and are slowly getting over jet lag. It is a very very long way to go and come back again.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 08:25 AM

Rapturous?

As the Royal fixer, lawyer and indicted conspirator I propose Imperious Rap Rex buy the Taj Mahal with loans and turn it into a casino and sin Hotel and drive it into bankruptcy leaving German and Russian Banks holding the bill

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 01:23 PM

Jennie G., glad to hear that you returned safely home from your travels
and that home sweet home, after all the domestic disasters of recent years,
was still there to welcome you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Dec 18 - 10:53 PM

Thank you, keberoxu! We were mightily pleased ourselves that our home was intact, and Bianca The White Cat was happy to see us. After having health issues our Canaussian son is doing well, and his lovely partner and I enjoyed fun girl's days out together.

When I'm not being the Imperial Torturer I can be quite nice, I'm told.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 08:49 AM

Since the hints of a recession have caused the Emporer to declare a state of emergency in the kingdom, machinations are afoot that have hidden Imperious Rex from view.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Joe Offer
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 02:54 PM

I'm still trying to figure out how Rap qualifies for a 628-message thread. Is he better-lookin' than the rest of us, or what?
I'm just a tad jealous...
-Lonesome Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Dec 18 - 03:21 PM

You wanna be prime minister, Joe?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Dec 18 - 12:25 AM

There's bound to be a job for you, Joe. If all else fails you could be the Chief Tuner for the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble.

Now there's a job that has a future.......let's face it, you would never be out of work......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 18 - 08:17 PM

Our most loyal and loving subjects!

We appreciate you expressions of concern about this, Our most recent journey to the never-never land of the chirurgeons. We are recovering from this latest bout, although certain bodily functions are still recalcitrant. Never the less, We will insure that they resume their normal functionality! We shall ask to Physical Therapy and all the other post-operative therapy available. If Our functions do not resume their previous functioning before Yule the chirurgeon will find herself in the capable hands of Our Imperial Torturer (albeit that we have concerns, as they might get along too well).

Again, We thank you for your wishes for Our continuing good health, and so We have decided to forgot all taxes from this date forward until the first of the year.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex       ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Dec 18 - 09:31 PM

I see now, why Rap is emperor, and I am not.
I am in awe.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Dec 18 - 01:03 AM

I'm still trying to figure out how Rap qualifies for a 628-message thread. Is he better-lookin' than the rest of us, or what?
He is a lot taller, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Dec 18 - 11:28 AM

Not to mention a laser beam into the eyeball ... before the surgery.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 06:25 PM

Latest report from Rap's recovery was that
he finally had enough energy to leave the house and go shopping.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 01:34 PM

And the latest update has Imperious Rex
going out to purchase
something new upon which to seat himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 01:42 PM

The reason Rap has a 600+ post thread while Joe Offer doesn't is simple: Rap accepted the job. Every time someone nominates Joe Offer for an important position, he declines!

If memory serves, Joe has been nominated for Governor of California, Director of Department of Homeland Security, and President of the US. Has he accepted any of these nominations? No! Has he even taken the first step of commissioning a feasibility study? No! Well, what do you expect? If Joe had only accepted the nomination for Governor of California, he would surely have won. After all, his closest competitor was an Austrian bodybuilder who talks funny. After the inauguration, Joe would have had a thread several thousand posts long!

You want big threads with your name on 'em, Joe, you gotta go for the big job! Singing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" around a campfire ain't gonna get it!



Bee-dubya Ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Rap gave me a mark, but I lost it

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 04:38 PM

While Joe's Tri Lateral Commission and Vatican Bank gig only meets 4 times a year it is far more time consuming than that, so to be fair his hands are full. Besides, both institutions have fallen on hard times which complicates things for Joe. When we get back to more hot wars things will go more smoothly for Joe. He didn't even get invited to the Prayer Breakfast this year.

Imperious Rex invested in Facebook and Russian stocks a bit too heavily against my protestation:
From: Donuel - PM
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 10:09 AM

30 years ago when Tech stocks dropped 500 points it was a crash.
Soon when the market drops 3,000 points it will be a minor correction.
Concentrated wealth (like in Bond movies) can steer market prices artificially and only indicate what Hedge fund owners want to do.
I see Facebook tanking with 50% losses. Rx Tillerson looks like he is striking out with Russia sanctions and oil exploration deals.

So imperious Rex will be licking his wounds for awhile.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 08:58 PM

We thank Our people for their continued interest and care in Our recovery. We saw the chirurgeon today and was dismissed after a most intimate examination. We have been set free from the chains of medicine with an admonition to "Call if you have problems or questions."

And so We shall have a Merry Christmas, and We, in Our boundless generosity, have ordered that each of Our subject be supplied with meats for the winter festivities. Each shall receive a goose from Our Imperial Gooseyard, black puddings, white puddings, and plum puddings, with the finest beverages suitable for their rank. No beggar shall be without a groat, and no herdsman without a goat.

Prisoners are to be served an extra bowl of pottage eacch day and hosed down with warm water.

Let the Festivities begin, and do not stop until the Epiphany Feast next year!!!

We so decree!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 01:17 AM

Thank you, Oh Great One!

I have also taken the executive decision to increase the dungeon rations very slightly so our resident miscreants can enjoy a little yuletide cheer.

A glass will be raised, together with the grateful thanks of all concerned, to the Emperor at 3 p.m. on The Day.

In the new year a search will begin for a tuner to the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble, something sadly and badly needed. Any applicants?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 09:53 PM

I'm not sure it's even within the power of the omnipotent Emperor Rapparee to come up with a tuner for the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble. It's impossible to tune one banjo, much less an entire ensemble's worth.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
I have a mark around here somewhere...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 02:55 AM

That's the idea, BWL. The post is being kept open for the worst of the worst, because can you think of a more fitting punishment?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 11:12 AM

This brings to mind the Discworld Witches in Sir Terry Pratchett,
in particular,
the witch who enjoys her annual bath,
in the tin tub in her backyard,
while all the neighbors run for cover.
Then, settled into the bath,
she picks up her banjo
and starts to sing
"A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End..."

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Dec 18 - 08:54 PM

It occurs to me to wonder:
when The Rapturous Imperious Rex decided upon
something new on which to be seated,
was this for his own private rooms
or was it
the ceremonial throne for official occasions?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 18 - 01:46 PM

We are seated upon that seat which Nature gave Us.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 02:01 PM

The realm is not what it was,
without the Imperial Naysayer
to issue verbal challenges to Imperious Rex.

I hope against hope that Amos recovers
enough to come back and fly his freak flag once again.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 08:24 PM

Our Imperial Naysayer is quite ill and We and all Our subjects wish him nought but a speedy and complete recovery.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 09:37 PM

We are greatly saddened to learn of the passing of Our good friend, Dick Greenhaus. May he rest in peace.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®          His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 19 - 08:53 PM

Amos the Naysayer has been visited by mutual friends and they have faithfully reported
that he is improving, at least well enough to communicate better.