BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 02:03 PM

Why Spaw, of happy memory, is the Patron Saint and Spiritual Leader of the Rapturous Rap's empire.
And why I approve.

Because Spaw, from the great beyond, by means of his posts to Mudcat threads (closed, perhaps, but not deleted),
has appeased my confusion about
Dino the Purple Dinosaur.
The post in question, I just tripped over it whilst lurking over a closed thread in order to further my Mudcat education.


Being a little younger than Spaw, I was in fact VERY young when the jingle for
"DINO! the pur-ple di-no-saur!" became a childhood earworm.

I was confused because:
Sinclair fuel stations promoted Dino the Dinosaur.
Sinclair fuel stations had a big ol' GREEN dinosaur on their signage.
And I KNOW that Dino was purple because the song said so,
and at that age, I never disagreed with songs
-- okay, I asked QUESTIONS, but that's different than disagreement.

So Sinclair fuel stations went the way of, erm, you know.
The green dinosaur disappeared from the townscape.
And I was still shaking my head
to get that Pur-ple Di-no-saur! earworm out.
And wondering where I had heard it.


I don't even know if what Spaw posted was correct,
but since it made me feel one heck of a lot better,
it stands.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 02:44 PM

Of course Catspaw is contemporary and his views when applied to the current issues stands up well, or kneels as the case may be. Let us not spin legends from fantasized feelings. Actual quotes are different but I am no one to judge.

Along not even remotely associated lines, I hold the Mormon practice of posthumous baptisms in great disdain. Taking the entire life of anyone who can no longer speak for themselves and declaring a consecration over their corpse without permission is heinous. Mormons do not dunk a cadaver in water, they just remotely mumble mumbo jumbo add some tragic magic and *poof* they are baptized Mormon.

This is why I object to the Emperor's decree to give Rat Bastard Baptisms to the victims of his defamation cremations and tortured bits and pieces of his enemies.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 03:13 PM

ContrAHversry herein? Say it not.

May the Spaw be with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rope for hemperor
From: Severn
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 04:39 PM

Is there a sequel, like Spawn of Spaw?

Many years ago, in or near the town of Sharpsburg MD, there was a neon sign for a Sinclair station with the "C" burnt out. I always wondered what happened there after hours. Was it still "Pay As You Pump?

I never noticed if there was a Shell station in town with the "S" burnt out. That would've confirmed any suspicions we had......

I'm glad the Empress doesn't have yo go through chemo or radiation. That's nothing that Empressionable children should have to hear about.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 08:06 PM

Ah, Severn, Emissary and Plentypotentiary,
welcome back.
How you have been missed.
The Imperious Rex Rapparee went to Iceland again.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 09:48 PM

prequel: Spaw's Pa

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 08:48 AM

Dino, the green Sinclair dinosaur, lived in a time when it was still acceptable to refer to a large dinosaur as a Brontosaur. Nowadays, he would be an Apatosaur. Personally, I'm glad he went extinct before being subjected to the indignity of a name change. He would never have made the adjustment. His brain was too small. When someone called him an Apatosaur he would have thought they were talking about someone else.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 09:18 AM

You are correct sir. They also ate more than vegetation such as mollusks.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 09:43 AM

Lord Rap there is concern in the Kingdom that too many beheadings are occurring under false pretenses.
While taking a knee is a traditional act of grace your latest decree that SOB's be beheaded for taking a knee in protest is problematic.

Most of these subjects were just tying their shoe.

Imperial scout
donuel

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 02:23 PM

But will Imperious Rex meet up with Skarpi
during his Iceland visit?

Subject: RE: BS: Rip for emptiers
From: Severn
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 02:12 PM

Taking his niece. Now THAT might be criminality.....

There are plenty of us that love our country (if not the way it's being run) that on the elementary school playground would sing the likes of:

"Oh beautiful for space ship guys,
God shed His skin on thee....."

....and did NOT commit a treasonable act, growing up to be truly fine citizens.


Donald Trump doesn't live where Skarpi does, but you can still file him under "I Slander".......

Those who missed me, know that, among other things, I've ve been busy being a host/co-host / programmer for two radio shows on WOWD-LP Community Radio 94.3 FM in Takoma Park MD and can be heard on "The Blues Comes Calling" (Blues & Blues-related music recorded in the 1920s and 1930s) and now on "Ballads In The Morning"(traditionally ballads and story songs) I'll give out further information privately to those who want it, but while I don't think that Rap's Empire has developed anything on its own as unique as the Blues, does the Empire have any Indiginous Ballads unique to the Empire, itself? We play ballads from all over the world, so I'm always seeking music from exotic places, and collecting native ditties should be Child's Play for the likes of you, even if you're a big lummox like Alan or John or try to pass on some of your own creations citing phony sources like John-Jacob de Nials

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 07:40 PM

Thanks for telling us what you're up to, Severn.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 11:11 PM

I missed you and I didn't know the good things going on with 94.3 is partly because of you. Its coming in better lately. Damn eclectic station! Yup I'm down the street. Now I have to P   M?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 09:23 AM

My people! We have approved no beheadings recently. Whoever is promulgating that nonsense is to be beheaded.

We suggest, nay, require, that those of you who can read read this article and then read it to those who cannot read. We are also, effective immediately, restoring Pluto as a Grown-up Planet with all of the rights and privileges thereunto pertaining.

Both Iceland and Norway are now fully in Our Domains, as is the entire Mississippi River, the Ohio River, the Tennessee River, and the Cumberland River. Slowly, without violence, We are conquering it all. When that is accomplished your taxes shall be reduced proportionately.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 12:39 PM

When will you beheading for home?

I'm not in favor of total beheading or even just turning people into a Pez Dispenser. If somebody covets my large collection of hats, we can bargain.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 02:53 PM

The Sinclair Oil Company performed a huge public disservice by adopting a dinosaur as its emblem. It gave unschooled oafs the impression that dinosaur remains are a major constituent of petroleum. They are not. If it were possible to source the individual atoms in a tank of gasoline, those derived from plants would outnumber those from animals by a huge margin. But a giant tree fern would not have made as impressive a logo as a Brontosaurus, would it? And most of the dinosaur-derived atoms would have come from the poop of dinosaur carnivores and scavengers, not from the direct decay of actual animals. But a dinosaur turd wouldn't have made much of a logo either, would it?

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 06:56 PM

Imperial Ignoramus, have you never heard of coprolites? It can be made into very attractive jewelry.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex          ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 12:33 PM

No shit?

Since hunting season has begun in my neck of the woods, I have been engaged in perusing Facebook groups pertaining and also rooting out posters of firearms for sale and reviewing membership requests as an admin on a few of them. As Imperial Game Warden, it is my duty to protect Sire's Kingdom Forest and all within it, so I don't keep up as much as I should.

Right then. I am off to review 59 requests since early morn. (I think everyone in NB.ca hunts except for me!)

Our Imperial Game Warden, Our Chief Imperial Enforcer and Bouncer, Our Imperial Typesetter,

g (my mark*)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emplifier
From: Severn
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 06:53 PM

Yes, your Rappinghood, in the end, like so many grapes shall they all be concord. Also, like unto grapes, you must step on them until they give a little whine....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emplifier
From: Severn
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 06:54 PM

Yes, your Rappinghood, in the end, like so many grapes shall they all be concord. Also, like unto grapes, you must step on them until they give a little whine....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 07:00 PM

Whoops! It double printed. Must be the kindle. Report me to the Department of Over Redundancy Department.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Oct 17 - 07:44 PM

Or is that the Department of Overt Dunciness...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 09:56 AM

My people, Our electronic scribe made an error earlier and has been duly chastised for it. It mentioned that with the acquisition of new territories in Our Benevolent and Benign Empire your taxes would be reduced. That should have been "your free and voluntary set contributions to Our welfare and the welfare of all." Said scribe was subjected to twenty overvoltages and the loss of power for five minutes; We do not think that it will happen again.

Imperial Torturer, We administered this punishment Ourself, as We did not want to distract you from the inestimably good rehabilitation you are doing with those in the Imperial Oubliette.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 05:57 PM

Jolly good, Sire. You're sure it wasn't just because you wanted t hear the unfiltered screams of agony for yourself?

All is well here in the Oubliette. A jolly good time is being had by all, the inmates are grateful for every crumb, and the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble has had a few new recruits lately because the odd miscreant or two has had the last of their teeth fall out.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:37 PM

Ah, good Imperial Torturer, We shall hear screams of agony on the 14th when We venture to the quaint little village of St. Louis, Missouri to see Our youngest niece wed. Not from her or from her betrothed, but from her father, Our brother Anthony, who has been made to wear formal wear, black tie formal wear in fact, for the ceremony. This is in place of his usual blue denim bib overalls, which he considers the "most comfortable clothing made." Our niece also squashed his idea of the suit in International Orange, lime green, and yellow. Our brother's wife also had some little say in the matter.

In the mean time, We commend your good work.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 12:08 AM

I think a wedding in which everyone wears high-viz safety colors would be a great idea. After all, marriage is a hazardous workplace.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 09:35 PM

I told him that those colors would make him a better target, so he then suggested camouflage. That, too, was nixed.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 01:16 AM

Perhaps those colours would suit the bridesmaids?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:52 AM

Yes, high-visibility neon colors are perfect for bridesmaids. After all, the prime directive of bridesmaid dress design is "Make the bride's friends look as ridiculous as possible so she'll look great by contrast."

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 12:00 PM

When their brother married the bridesmaids had to wear cowboy boots.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 04:36 PM

And what did the groom's father wear on that occasion?
I'm thinking, not black tie formal wear...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:34 AM

We were very tired from the onerous duties of State when We last posted. Our (unofficial) statement should have read, "When their brother married, the bridesmaids had to wear cowboy boots." We assure you that their brother did not marry the bridesmaids, who were his sisters. Our family has had its quirks (as all Imperial Families have had) but incestuous plural marriage is not among them. Also, the bride selected the footwear for that wedding, and the bridesmaids are still trying to figure out what to do with the boots.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 04:13 PM

Boot scooting - known here as "line dancing" - comes to mind.

I don't know about the rest of you, but line dancers always make me think of chickens pecking round a farmyard.

Can't you just see the bridal waltz becoming the 'bridal scoot'?

Yee har......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 08:11 PM

If "the bridesmaids are still trying to figure out what to do with the boots," they obviously don't live in Alabama.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 10:21 PM

O! Rapturous Ravenous Rex, sir!

Give heed to Imperial Torturer, JennieG, sir,
for there has been another inundation of her edifice,
by her latest post.

Sounds as though the prisoners had to learn how to float,
if not swim . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Nov 17 - 08:14 PM

Wishing for The Most High and Mighty Princess Patricia, Royal Empress, and for Imperious Rex Himself,
a happier and healthier holiday season
than the one that they survived at this time one year ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 03:11 AM

I can't read through all this again. Remind me - whose faeces ended up on the coinage?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 09:36 AM

Bah, and also Humbug. If there is anyone hereabouts suffering from an inundation of orifices it is this straw-man who would be imperial, but is merely imperious in the most nettlesome and jejune manner.

The creature you have raised up is childish , a green and unripe prepubescent mind, a puerile monger of kidstuff and child's play, an unsophisticated, unseasoned, wet-behind-the-ears diaper-wearing undergrown, unformed, unfinished, imperfect runt of a collywobble, a bewildered and addle-pated spirit lost in the worlds of real human beings.

He has no more claimed to empire than Howdy-Doody, whom he closely resembles.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 10:41 AM

While it is true that Howdy-Doody was never elevated to the status of emperor, it was more a matter of luck than aptitude. Howdy had at least as much leadership ability as Mickey Mouse, and that irritating rodent now controls film studios, television networks, a fleet of cruise ships, and most of Central Florida.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 10:16 PM

Ah, yes. Amos, the Imperial Naysayer, has placed his two groatsworth upon this, Our Imperial record. This fledgling, this unlicked cub, this dribbler in his second childhood when his first has not yet begun, this mewling and qualling coxcomp, this dankish pumpion, this unnamed archboard, this baggywrinkle, would instruct Us! Aroint thee, I. N.! You can lob insults like cannonballs, but your aim is faulty.

We can but commiserate with the Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble in her inundation, as We too have experienced such (unlike the inexperienced Imperial Naysayer). We extend Our hope that no greater damage has been done that what is immediately apparent.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 11:52 PM

Thank you for those kind commiserations, Oh Great Imperial Sire! It is indeed a bugger, to be sure.....two floods just nine months apart, and both happened while The Imperial Torturer and Spouse were disporting themselves at musical events. Do you think there is a message in this?

Looking on the bright side, all miscreants suffered pruney feet in this last flood and are now paying the price in itchies. Ankle chains have rusted shut and are unable to be opened without assistance from the Imperial Blacksmith, do we even have one of those? Looks like a good job opportunity for a bright lad or laddess, yes?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 09:18 AM

I am flattered--or would be if I gave Rapparree any credence ata ll--at being included in the Imperial zoo, and with such distinguished companions. But I must decline. I cannot in good conscience accept the title of Imperial Naysayer, anymore than I could accept the post of Messiah of the Jews, since I sincerely, devoutly and loudly disbelieve in Emperors and godheads of various sorts.

I urge all those infesting this flea-bitten court to rise up, cast off the shining chains of pusillanimous supplicantism and stand for yourselves, each one proud in his own fiery ability to see and speak truth. I assure you, it will soon be clear that this pot metal Emperor, this ersatz, pompous scalawag of a ne-er-do-well tyrant, has no clothes at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 02:17 PM

If he really has no clothes, he might want to check out Bare Mountain Resort in the Boise area.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 04:28 PM

Frogprince, nice of you to come over and say hello.
Are you still the Minister of De Fence, or is that somebody newer?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 06:17 PM

The Imperial Hand - rocks the cradle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de_gJqkbPt4

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Nov 17 - 02:48 PM

Amos, that was EDIFICE, not orifice.

JennieG, that IS a good question:
does this, Rapparee's realm, have its own Blacksmith / ankle-shackle-breaker?

So sorry, truly, to hear about your home being flooded.
Hope you can keep your spirits up
while the problems are being dealt with.
At least, this is a season of warmth where you are located.

(a flooded home up HERE at this time?
with subfreezing temps at night? Horrors ... )

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Nov 17 - 03:09 PM

keb, the spirit of this thread I believe is playing with medieval concepts in a modern manner but Hurray for your empathy.
Its OK to post to the wrong thread, it hardly ever matters

The real intent may be Imperial Rapparree/Rapier ego worship.
not that there is anything wrong with that...Heck it what Donald lives for.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 27 Nov 17 - 08:46 PM

Thank you for those kind words, keberoxu......yes, fortunately it's quite warm.

How about it, Great Sire? Can we advertise for a blacksmith? Brawn and muscles required, brains preferred, skill and knowledge of the craft are essential. I'm sure we can find a space for a forge with attached living quarters.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Nov 17 - 01:39 PM

What?
No Aussie blacksmiths?!

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 06:29 PM

Maybe Mudcatter Gnu, Rap's Imperial Game Warden,
knows a blacksmith.
Or knows somebody who knows a blacksmith.
Then again we could ask
Mudcatter olddude the vice-imperial something.