BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 29 Apr 19 - 05:32 PM

His royal highness had me doing battle with the white walkers on game of thrones and riding dragons. Rap is a very demanding emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 19 - 08:57 PM

We say: Better White Walkers than yee naaldlooshii.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 01:58 AM

By all means bring out your pipes, Dan! The more the merrier......or something like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 12:36 PM

Have a thought, might I suggest,
for erstwhile game warden Gnu
because there are good reasons
that we don't hear from him very often these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 12:47 PM

Yes, of course! Why should law-abiding citizens be subject to the noise of bagpipes while the miscreants in The Imperial Oubliette are exempt?

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Yes, I found my mark: <¡!>
Now, has anyone seen my ukulele capo?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 05:59 PM

His royal ?? lowness banned capos

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 06:33 PM

So The Emperor, a trumpet player, has banned capos, huh? That's okay. When I grow up and get my own empire, I'm going to ban spit valves.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Gonna take my mark <¡!> for a walk in the park.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 19 - 06:41 PM

I didn't know there had been a capo edict. Or was it a Bull?

Good thing you're still here,
vice emperor,
'cause I can't remember those things.

Now if Severn is feeling any better ...

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 May 19 - 07:11 PM

The rumored capo ban would have to be an edict. Bulls are only issued by popes. Rap is not a pope. And please don't suggest that he apply for the job. He's already insufferable enough as emperor. Thanks.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His Mark <¡!> (Not his Matthew, Luke, or John)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 19 - 09:55 PM

We have commanded the Imperial Brass Orchestra to empty their spit valves on the Imperial Ignoramus. This is to be done per omnia saecula saecularum or until we command otherwise. We have no quarrel with capos unless they become insufferable and style themselves as Capo di Tutti Capi.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 May 19 - 06:16 PM

Is your Imperial Brass Orchestra
the equivalent of a Mexican "banda"? Those things are a hoot.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 19 - 10:04 PM

Some time ago We permitted Our band to march in London, England to commemorate the coronation of Our subject Queen Elizabeth II (whom We call Lizzy). The video is of Our band marching on the Mall in London. Yes, We permit drums and other minor instruments in Our band solely for musical balance, but We know (as you should) that brass instruments and especially the trumpet and its sisters such as the flugelhorn and bugle are, truly, God's instruments.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 May 19 - 04:54 PM

Still awaiting the outcome of the stress tests
following the chest-pains episode.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 08 May 19 - 12:48 AM

The Oubliette is back to running at what passes for normal, as the Imperial Torturer and Spouse have returned from their annual sojourn Down South.

However, the Imperial Torturer is suffering from the Dreaded Lurgy so Spouse is looking after the inmates and miscreants in the meantime. He's more tender hearted than what I am and lets them get away with a little more than usual......two peas each for dinner, for example, when they are normally only allowed one pea to share between two inmates.

We wouldn't want those poor souls to suffer from over-feeding and its associated ills, would we?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 19 - 05:38 PM

Hopefully, the Imperial Torturer will recover enough to at least pay a visit to the Oubliette while her disease is still contagious. It would be a shame to have a case of the Dreaded Lurgy on hand and not infect the miscreants with it.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Mark, mark, mark <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 10 May 19 - 12:18 AM

Alas, BWL, the Imperial Torturer is having difficulty with the stairs to the Imperial Oubliette - as of yesterday afternoon I am wearing a moon boot on my right foot. A previous foot fracture has come back to haunt me, and has re-fractured itself.

Also The Dreaded Lurgy is the non-contagious strain, being derived from hay fever. While disporting themselves at the Big Folk Festival the Torturer and Spouse were camped near some horse stables, a very convenient spot for amenities and festival, and you wouldn't believe how much hay, straw, sawdust and dried shit (sorry, Sire, but a spade is a spade and all that) was all around.

But never mind.......this, too, shall pass, and the foot is still attached. So far, so good.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 19 - 10:17 PM

We know that the language of The Masses is oft time appropriate and We have been known to use it Ourself when the occasion demanded. When your lower appendage is well again consider having an armored shell made to better kick the prisoners.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 11 May 19 - 08:26 AM

I like the way you think, Sire! I wouldn't like to be kicked by a foot in a moon boot.

And you are indeed right, sometimes the *ahem* rude word *ahem* is the only one suitable for the occasion.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 May 19 - 10:50 PM

The results of the stress test
are being held too close to the Imperial Waistcoat
for me to discern them.
I better quit asking after them.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 May 19 - 02:11 PM

Is it true that our Imperious Rex
went to England
and survived to tell the tale?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 May 19 - 07:47 PM

The stated purpose of Emperor Rap's visit to England was to tour famous prisons and dungeons to get ideas for improving services at The Imperial Oubliette. Unfortunately, he discovered that there are no active dungeons in England. They've all been turned into tourist attractions. The only torture devices he was able to procure were some unbelievably tacky snow globes from the gift shop at The Tower of London.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 28 May 19 - 08:23 PM

By royal decree mooning is a form of acceptable behavior in the kingdom

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 28 May 19 - 08:26 PM

Alas As of now I am sitting on my moon side catching small mouth bass without a lass

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 May 19 - 09:07 PM

My wife's SUV has what's called a "moon roof", but I'm damned if I can figure out how to get my ass up high enough to stick it out of the thing.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 28 May 19 - 10:28 PM

Lol yes that is a problem

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 03:10 PM

I HATE moon roofs. They lower the ceiling inside.

Our Great Emperor,
after a visit to Moab/MOAB,
is headed for the southwestern US,
rather far from his home,
where he will study artifacts from
civilizations that existed there
before Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jun 19 - 12:01 PM

And further,
it is reported regarding this visit
that the Imperial Ignoramus
has an extraordinary parcel being shipped his way
pertinent to said artifacts -- good heavens.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 19 - 09:07 PM

We have returned to Our abode. Our sojourn to the realms of the Ancients was quite pleasant.

We have been considering a change in the Imperial Oubliette. Perhaps it should be changed to an Imperial Abattoir. We would appreciate the Imperial Torturer's thoughts on this.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®         His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 12:43 AM

Could be a bit messy......and there is the need for trained staff?

At present anyone can find employment in the Imperial Oubliette, but should it transmogrify into the Imperial Abattoir there could be a requirement for butchering skills that, at present, is sadly lacking.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 06:24 AM

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫

Playing my guitar
In an abattoir
Tried to write a song
But I didn't get too far

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫


Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 10:20 AM

Aww Moab the home of uranium or uranass. We go there in the kingdom for free X-rays to see what ails us or is it ales us. Nothing better than a good brew in the morning

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 07:23 PM

Why is it that the word abattoir
always brings to mind the corrida,
the Spanish bullring?

I'm not sure that Imperious Rex
wants anybody around hollering "Toreador!"

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 11:44 PM

Why does the word "ossuary" always sound like it should be the third month of the year, after January and February, and not just a boxful of bones?

"Beware the Ides of Ossuary!"

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:41 PM

Because of his interest, We hereby name the Imperial Ignoramus as the Concomitant Imperial Ossuary. Henceforth his title shall be "Imperial Ignoramus And Ossuary." His mark, given by Us, shall not change.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 10:47 PM

Thanks for the new gig, Your Emperorship, but I'm not really sure how to fulfill the requirements of the job. An ossuary is a final resting place for human bones. They are used in places where burial space is limited. Bodies are buried in graves for a few years, then the bones are dug up and placed in an ossuary so others can use the graves. I'm having a hard time working out how anyone can be an ossuary.

However, if what you're looking for is someone to make osuaries, I'm your man! No bones about it! One like THIS would be a real hoot to make.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus and Creator of Fine Ossuaries
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 10:44 AM

In fact, since The Imperial Oubliette is in dire need of remodeling, perhaps converting it into a dual purpose oubliette/ossuary would be appropriate. Why spend extra funds from the Imperial Treasury burying expired miscreants in nameless paupers' graves when their skeletal remains could be incorporated into an imaginative decor scheme complete with nifty architectural features ?   


Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus and Creator of Fine Ossuaries
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 12:31 PM

Oubliette and Ossuary go together nicely.

Maybe the Imperial Abattoir should be separate from the Oubliette,
however closely related the two may be.

Where in the world is Severn when you need him?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 09:54 PM

We allow you, Imperial Ignoramus and Ossuary, to work out the details of redecorating the Imperial Oubliette with Our Imperial Torturer. For the time being We have decided that an Imperial Abattoir is not needed.

The correct Title of Address for Our Imperial Ignoramus and Ossuary shall henceforth be "Mister Bones."

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®      His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 12:30 AM

Wowsers......that ossuary sure beats the heck out of a chandelier made from deer antlers, BWL! Way to go!

Adds a whole new interpretation when singing "Dem Bones"......

The knee bone's connected to the ankle bone......

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 01:20 PM

Dry Bones and Banjos! Now, there's a combination.
Sounds like the makings of
a New Orleans rhythm section.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 03:44 PM

Yes, Imperial Torturer JennieG, connecting a knee bone to an ankle bone is Step 5 of the instructions for creating that chandelier. Step 7 is "Connect jawbone to hipbone."

By the way, we anticipate having more little finger bones than will be needed for ossuary creation. I expect they would make excellent tuning pegs for fiddles, banjos and ukuleles. Let me know if you can make use of a few bags full/.

Bee-dubya-ell aka Mister Bones
Imperial Ignoramus and Creator of Fine Ossuaries
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 12:21 PM

come back, Severn !

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 20 Jun 19 - 11:37 AM

Until I read up on what's been happening while I've been dealing with assorted medical mishaps and other things, I'll give you all a Severnn fix by giving you all to a link to a radio show I will be doing tomorrow June 21th from the USA at 8-10am EST (5hours later than UK time) on WOWD community radio in Takoma Park MD, where I will have as my in-station guests Rob Van Sante,singer, multi-instrumentalist, producer and duet partner on recordings with Alan Reid (of Battlefield Band game and Janie Meneely, bard of the Chesapeake) and John Connolly, writer of "Fiddler's Green" , "Ranter's Wharf" and other classic songs. The station is streamable worldwide, including within The Empire, by going to.   takomaradio.org   and checking the schedule for "Ballads In The Morning" .If you miss the original broadcast, it will be archived to the public for two weeks after the initial broadcast. I am one of four rotating hosts for this show, as well as co-host of"The Blues Come Calling presenting the best of Blues and Blues related music from the 1920s and 1930s on alternate Tuesdays from --8pm with our next show this coming Tuesday. Hopefully Radio Free Rap will pick up the show and no longer be radio-free.....

Thanks for missing me.This will prove that I'm still in range and you'll have another shot or two.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Jun 19 - 06:24 PM

Hopefully it can be heard in the Imperial Oubliette, Severn! Sounds like a rollicking good program.

BWL - thank you for the offer of small bones, which is much appreciated. They will make excellent tuning pegs, and also percussion instruments for the smaller-handed of the miscreants. I have the idea to put several little finger bones in a bag which is then sewn by string or sinew to close the opening.....it would make an alternative to the ubiquitous shaky egg.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 04:27 PM

I still don't know what "shaky eggs" are.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 05:25 PM

You are a fortunate person.

They are small egg-shaped percussion instruments which are held between the fingers and thumb and shaken in time to the music. In the hands of a proper percussionist they add to the rhythm, but in the hands of someone else they are out of time and add nothing to the tune at all.

In other words, they can be an instrument for the instrumentally challenged and would add a great deal to the Imperial Banjo Ensemble!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 05:50 PM

Now,
why does that bring to mind
that staple of useless trinkets for sale,

the Mexican jumping bean?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 19 - 01:25 AM

Making shaky eggs using finger bones is an excellent idea, Imperial Torturer. Ideally, they should be made from the finger bones of adults who distribute shaky eggs to children at jam sessions and encourage them to "join in" while serious musicians are attempting to play.

Alternatively, they could be made from the finger bones of drunks who attempt to play one of my instruments without permission.

Bee-dubya-ell aka Mister Bones
Imperial Ignoramus, Creator of Fine Ossuaries, Purveyor of Shaky Egg Rattles
His mark: <¡!>

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jun 19 - 04:57 PM

BWL - I think we are on to something here as regards fingers and eggs, etc. Tiny toe bones could also be pressed into service, yes?

The possibilities are becoming endless.....

I have added "giving a shaky egg to a child at a music session" and playing instruments without asking first" to the list of Unforgivable Crimes.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 19 - 10:12 PM

We concur with the Imperial Torturer.

Make it so.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®      His Mark