BS: Happy Meal

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:16 PM

Now, should the Golden Arches take a pointer from the musings,
elsewhere in the BS section,
jointly of Donuel and Rapparee,
they could market Nothing Burgers.

And Nothing Burgers, containing no beef, neither fresh nor frozen,
would therefore be Stealth Burgers, operating in silence
with no Cowbell Noises.

Actually my previous post brings to mind
Chuck Berry at his lowest ebb:

My Ding-A- [dead air]
My Ding-A- [dead air]
I Want to Play With
My Ding-A- [dead air]

Rather like waiting for the other shoe -- "Ling!" -- to drop.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 May 18 - 01:02 PM

It embarrasses the heck out of me to report,
and me with university level music studies,
that I do not know how to notate
the RHYTHM of the Fresh Beef Cowbell,
described as The Noise in the previous thread.

I was back at the Golden Arches just now,
ordering one of the sandwiches I always order
-- more than one variety, none of them with beef.
But it was lunchtime, after all, the busiest hour
(according to one of the employees behind the counter).
And that darned noise was going every ninety seconds or something...

ding ding ding-a. No "a-ling," be it noted, merely a "ding-a."
Heavens, that looks lame in print.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:51 PM

When I dine in at the Golden Arches,
I don't order this particular item
so The Noise doesn't happen.
And I didn't even know, at the time, what was happening.

I have repeatedly heard The Noise while my own order was being filled.
Now I know what it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 06:56 PM

...and it was false advertising! If they got a kid to eat a piece of bread with just mustard on it, it wasn't real mustard. They probably substituted some mustard look-alike that a kid would eat. Like yellow cake icing.

"Look, Johnny! That little boy loves mustard! Wouldn't you like some on your hamburger?"

"Bullshit, Mom! That's not a little boy. It's a midget! Pass the ketchup."

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 06:46 PM

keberoxu, it was French's Mustard.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 06:09 PM

That makes me laugh, Bee Dubya Ell, because I remember the television advertisement of a little boy
singing "Please don't take my sunshine away"
spreading a slice of plain white bread with the mustard product
(what was that brand anyway)
taking a big bite of the bread with the day-glo yello mustard spread
and saying Dee Licious!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 06:04 PM

It's been many years since I've visited a McDonalds with a child. But when I did, it always struck me as a bit odd that they put mustard on the burgers in Happy Meals unless you ordered them without. Since the burgers were made up in advance and kept under a warmer during busy periods, this usually entailed a wait of several minutes while my mustard-hating children's burgers were made to order.

Now, has anyone ever met a four-year-old who likes mustard? I haven't. It's been my experience that kids develop a taste for mustard at about age twelve, just about the time they've outgrown Happy Meals. So why would a company purportedly famous for its marketing acumen put something kids hate on a product especially for kids?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 05:18 PM

One year later, Cuties are in season again. At the Golden Arches, that is.
The difference this time is that none of the Cuties in the Cuties promotion have got a neck, a headstock, and twelve strings. That is yesterday's news.
The promotion, however, still headlines Mister Happy Meal, whose eyebrows are golden arches; and he still wears overalls and a straw hat.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Oct 16 - 10:45 PM

"EXCEEDATION," the sign said.

Went to worship services at the Temple of the Golden Arches to make a routine offering. And there was a sign that I have seen at no other such Temple. Really, I ought to have grabbed a paper napkin and written it all down.

Although the sign was posted behind the cashier counter, the sign was up at the same visual level as the menu, pretty much, and facing out towards the customers. The sign's verbal directions, however, were aimed at the employees and management. In smaller print, the latter were exhorted to exceed the expectations of the customers, in so many words. For whatever reason the made-up word at the beginning of this post was the center of the sign, however, in MUCH larger print and capital letters.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 02:35 AM

No more Cuties until winter. They're out of season. All the local vendors closed up a couple of months ago. It's nice to live in an area where they're grown. They're a treat - and seem to be very healthy.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: leeneia
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 09:32 PM

If you are a parent and your little kids want to go to McDonald's, the thing to do is to see if they actually eat the food. A lot of little kids have seen the commercials and are excited about going to Mac's, but the food has a different texture from what they get at home, and they won't eat it.

You'll notice that don't call it a Tasty Meal, they call it a Happy Meal.   I used to work in a fabric store, and one evil day, a woman allowed her 4-year old to wander around the store, hiding French fries in bolts of fabric. The resulting grease stains cost the store a lot of money, once we discovered what had been going on. But the main point is that the kid thought of the fries as something bad that she had to hide so she didn't have to eat it.

And if parents are stupid enough to waste money of soda and diet soda, well that's their problem.

I eat at Mac's from time to time. Esp. on the way to catch a plane early in the morning, when we don't want to make breakfast and wash dishes. And when you've been shopping and feel wobbly at 4 pm, a MacDonald's small burger is just the thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 06:47 PM

Mrs Steve and I had four cooked sausages left over from our barbie the other night. I made a quick tomato sauce with a tin of plum toms, a pinch of chilli flakes, two sliced garlic cloves, olive oil and seasoning. I chopped the bangers into little pieces and crisped them up a bit in a pan with a bit of olive oil. Meanwhile I boiled up enough gigli pasta for two (any short pasta would have done but that's what fell out of the cupboard). I chucked the hot sausage pieces into the sauce, then tossed all that with the pasta. Topped with freshly-grated parmesan, begod it was a dish fit for a king.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Jun 16 - 01:21 PM

When I started this thread, my curiosity was not about what is always served, regardless of season, at the golden arches. I was curious about a temporary Happy Meal perk of fresh fruit, in this case a promotion of Cuties which are citrus. The advert campaign used to decorate the restaurants had Mister Happy Meal, a cartoon sketch character, wearing denim overalls, sitting on a pile of crates, and strumming a mandarin orange with the Cuties label and a twelve-stringed neck coming out of the orange.

Well, the Cuties have left the premises. Now the latest Happy Meal promotion has nothing in it resembling a twelve-string guitar. No, it's all about birds that cannot fly unless they are propelled from a slingshot, and something that looks like Doctor Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham, only without the eggs and the ham is actually green pigs. Bye-bye, twelve-stringed citrus fruit.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 02:14 PM

I sort of remember Springfield, though I never lived there. Grange Road and Windsor Road I lived, and had friends in Harvey Road.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Penny S.
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 02:00 PM

Haven't been in one for ages - I did used to get their breakfasts from the one near where I lived for a while, chiefly so I could keep in good odour with them when I went to ask why their litter picker hadn't been up the road recently. My home was just at the point where people would finish their fries and drop the bags. Or park their cars, collect all the litter, open the window and drop it on the pavement. When they converted the pub, they sponsored a bin in the right place, but then the council converted to a dog waste bin, and the litter built up.
There used to be an argument that the McD people would drive around areas, and when the found somewhere with no litter, they knew they needed a new franchise put in.
So the people who bring their litter for miles round here are doing us a favour. The nearest places are 6 or more miles off, and yet the lanes are scattered with identifiable McD rubbish. Grr.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 01:05 PM

☛〠☚

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 12:51 PM

No you silly sod. I took the piss because as ever, you bring snippets into the debate and as ever, get all pissy when someone picks up on them...

Shame is when you decide an innocent pillar of the community who happens to be a Muslim may have a nephew. Remember when you came out with that shiner, eh? Yeah, let's talk shame. Ask nurse, she might remember your awful posts.

Mind you, decorated war hero? Coor! To be fair, chopping your own leg off for a Blighty wound would be going too far, I suppose.

Not into toy soldiers myself mind. The only decorations I have are either courtesy of Dulux or, if I have to be honest, for representing those who save lives rather than take them. Jug ears was wearing a military uniform when he gave it me, if that helps?

I had a meal in an Indian in Cambridge just before Chrimbo, (in law lot live that way.) Excellent snap. Mind you, if the tops were wiped down with Ghandi's nappy, I'd probably still prefer it to McShit.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 12:04 PM

... in fact, I learn from Zoopla site that it is now flats.

I well know how agog every Mudcatter has been for that important information!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 10:42 AM

There was one such in Sidgwick Ave called Springfield where a Caius ex-army friend of mine had his rooms, I remember. Not sure if still there or vanished into the now-dominant-thereabouts Sidgwick Site with all the faculty libraries &c.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 10:14 AM

Michael, I was a PhD student in Cambridge, 1973-1976. College was Caius, though graduate students rarely lived in and I didn't. I lived in various college owned houses around the city.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 09:08 AM

Does that obnoxious little oik Musket really think his deplorably facetious post of 0438,

dishonouring a decorated war hero thru wilful pretence of misunderstanding, & making fatuous puns about disabilities due to war wounds honourably received,

makes him look good...?

'Contemptible' is the word that comes to my mind. He really should be ashamed of his petty & graceless self; but I don't for a moment suppose that he is.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 06:04 AM

By coincidence, Dave, they were ones v near where I lived during your time; at Highsett in Hills Rd, near the war memorial and Station Rd. Lived there 1970-77 (my late wife commuted to London to work & it was handy for the station), & ate frequently in one of those 'Indians' you mention. I had no problems, but a friend I took sent back her kofta as she said it tasted off, & they didn't argue, just brought her another curry. That was the one just past the church & opposite the little service garage who used to look after my car. Which college were you? I was at Christ's, as my post above 01.48, re St Andrews St, suggests.

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 04:43 AM

I have eaten in many Indian restaurants and never had problems, but more than once tried to go back and found that its been closed down by Environmental Health. When I was in Cambridge (about 20 years later than Mike) the ones in Hills Road were notorious.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 04:38 AM

Where the challenge? That was far too easy.

I've heard of one leg shorter than the other but a cross leg? Military grade too eh? They'd let anyone in. A few years earlier, our next door neighbour (so I am told) was refused service in the real war due to flat feet. Times change over short periods.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 04:04 AM

Pre-which-war, Bumface? I know I'm a bit old; but my student days were 1952-55. Unless maybe you meant the Korean War, which was actually in progress at the time. [A fellow-student at my college in my subject in my year had actually served there as acting-Captain in the Middlesex Regiment; at age 20 he had the Military Cross & one leg].

Otherwise shurrup yer schoopid fat copulatory 〠, y-doncha, you noisy-but-ineffectchal piddling popgun!

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 03:15 AM

Possibly because he gets out more and doesn't have to rely on pre war anecdotes of one restaurant?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 01:48 AM

'I've eaten tons of Indian meals, eat-in and takeaway, in my time and never got food poisoning.'
.,,.
& of course Steve's experience must be taken as absolutely prototypical of that of the whole of humankind...
(As it happens, I recall an Indian in St Andrews St which was closed down after an inspection by the local health authority during my student days at Cambridge -- bloody nuisance coz it stayed open late & was right next door to my college. I can't see why my experience shouldn't be at least as universally applicable as Steve's. So he can stuff his 'totally unjustified' he knows where.)

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 01:33 AM

For some reason, I'm reminded of a song by you know who

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 06:35 PM

Yes, Michael. Totally unjustified. I've eaten tons of Indian meals, eat-in and takeaway, in my time and never got food poisoning. I once got it from a very upmarket restaurant in Chelsea and once from accidentally eating cornflakes from a catering sack that was actually 25% mouse shit that. I hadn't noticed. Apart from that, and once from eating raw kidney beans, I've never suffered.

Yeah, raw red kidney beans. Don't do this unless you have access to two horizontally-disposed lavatoria, one for your gob and one for your arse, at bespoke distance. You will need them simultaneously.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 06:16 PM

Hygiene? Putting aside the sweeping statement, with no foundation..

Toilets have the strongest anti bacterial cleaning agents applied on them but they are still a repository of turds.

This is about the filth masquerading as food not the state of the kitchens.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 05:09 PM

Why ruin meat by grinding it up?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 04:57 PM

Ah yes indeed; everyone from China to Peru knows that every 'Indian' is the absolute acme, epitome & apotheosis of utterly sterile hygiene!

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 03:55 PM

I had a Wimpy and chips one night in 1970 in Gloucester Road Wimpy in London when I was as pissed as a fart and undergoing beer-induced starvation. 2.30 am it was. Never did it again. From then on it was prawn dopiaza with extra fried rice and two poppadums down the Indian. Never set foot in a McShitterie in my life. Never will.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 09:42 AM

My local Indian corner shop has root beer. I haven't tried it but if anyone is looking for it in the UK then local corner shops might be the place to go.

Best burger I ever had was at Brett's Burgers in Guildford in the 1980s (with a Richard Thompson track playing in the background).

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 04:54 AM

Quality not qualify.

Although it may be Freudian.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 16 Feb 16 - 03:24 AM

A wide variation in quality between one McShit and another?

I take it there aren't many other food outlets where you live?

Each to their own I suppose, but I thought Mudcat didn't attract teenagers to the ranks. Aren't you supposed to grow out of junk food as you get older and more discerning? If you like the taste then whatever floats your boat but to bring qualify into the debate is odd to say the least.

The only positive thing anyone could say is that greasy fat is now playing second fiddle to sugar in the morbidity stakes, although I assume they sell fizzy pop in huge paper cups?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:01 PM

Thumbs up Donuel! You are right, it's all about the people who keep the place going. There can be a really wide variation from one branch to the next.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 04:37 PM

I think we should fill the pyramids with happy meals [not grain] just to freak out our descendants 5,000 from now.

still fresh!


















Mickey D's can be good with a scrupulous manager.

Subject: twelve-string anything?
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 02:36 PM

Just visited a different McD branch. Cuties everywhere, but none with twelve strings. Go figure.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: michaelr
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 12:21 PM

I'll never be able to stomach root beer because it smells like the public urinal cubes of my youth. Sassafras my ass!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 09:30 AM

For real junk food go to some of the big chain restaurants in America, they make MacDonalds look (and taste) like Gourmet Dining. The worst meals I have eaten in the us has been at Places like Pizza Hut, East Side Marios and worst of all, by Far , Olive Garden. I have no idea why anyone would eat there.The Alfredo was foul, fake white sauce, overcooked pasta and soggy bread, not to mention about five times the calories of a big mac.
   I find that the best food is often in small local places or in Street trucks where the food is freshly prepared.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 09:25 AM

'stagnant pond? Its not quite the same, but pretty close.'
.,,.
Out of interest, Dave ---- how you know this, hmmmm....?

Sassafras 2U!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 08:57 AM

Nah Dave, rootbeer's not that good...

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 08:38 AM

Michael, have you tried filling up your glass from a stagnant pond? Its not quite the same, but pretty close.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 06:04 AM

A Mandarin is Citrus Reticulata. A Tangerine is Citrus Tangerina. A Satsuma is Citrus Unshiu, and a Clementine is a hybrid involving Mandarin, Pomelo and Sweet Orange.

Of these in my view the Tangerine has the distinctive and the best flavour.

As far as burgers go, in mine I put some garlic, onion, diced capsicum, a little chopped chili and a pinch of cumin powder, and ground black pepper. But if you don't have time to make your own, I recommend ALDI Wagyu burgers.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: DMcG
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:03 AM

Quite so, M. I remember a food scientist some decades ago saying that the whole 'junk food' label is nonsense scientifically: in essence it is bread and meat, which has been staple for a looooong time. Of course, if you are talking aesthetics it might be a different matter, but nutritionally calling it junk food is simply wrong.


No, he wasn't funded by the burger industry!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 05:00 AM

... except that it was one of the disappointments of my life when they stopped serving root beer, of which I became fond when in the States; and I haven't found anywhere else in the UK where one can get it.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 04:56 AM

Seriously, I think there is a lot of overstatement on this thread [& indeed on this topic in general]. I don't think McDonalds furnish the finest food in The History Of The Universe. But I don't think either that parrotting "McShit", as if it were somehow original or witty or whatever, is fair dealings. A useful quickbyte to allay hunger; nothing Xtra, & Burger·King probably has the edge these days: but hardly deserving of some of the OTT animadversions it's been getting around here either.

...& double fries & a rootbeer with that please

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 03:55 AM

It is interesting. I was in Azerbaijan when the first McShit was opened. I recall walking past on the opening day and they had bouncers holding back the huge queues to get in.

Now.. Were people flocking there for the taste of the rancid semi cow and E number gunk on a chewy flaccid bun? Perhaps they like milk shakes thickened by potato and the bits left over after you render down chickens?

No. McShit is seen as the American Dream as sold by Hollywood and fast food advertising. It isn't popular for what it is, but the dreams it is associated with.

The dream is Hollywood. The nightmare is coronary heart disease, lower life length expectation and a lower quality of health in the meantime.

It occurred to me last week whilst skiing in France. We were skiing two large resorts, linked together (Tignes and Val D'Isere) and to my knowledge, there is no fast food outlet of that type anywhere at the resorts. All proper food and skiers tend to be fit people anyway. I don't recall such things in American ski resorts for that matter but I could be wrong. I may have walked past them but I doubt it.

The thought of traditional North African food, as I recall from my own travels in Egypt means that rather than walk into a McShit in such places, I'd take an ironic photo to show what is going wrong with the world. (Then find somewhere to eat.)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Meal
From: DMcG
Date: 15 Feb 16 - 03:28 AM

I was saddened when I visited the Pyramids that there is so little respect for the site that there is a fast food chain restaurant a few tens of metre from the forelegs of the Sphinx. I am afraid, Joe, you have put me off visiting Luxor now!