BS: Define 'plonker'

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 16 - 05:24 AM

Actually, both those are also used for going for a wee in the pub session. That and draining the spuds.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 16 - 05:22 AM

Or, more gloomily, shaking hands with the unemployed.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Apr 16 - 05:07 AM

I remember that Barry Humphries' Oz character in an old Private Eye cartoon strip used to talk of "shaking hands with the wife's best friend".

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 16 - 04:31 AM

Buffing the bishop. Having sex with someone you actually love.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Bert
Date: 15 Apr 16 - 12:34 AM

Masturbation was always a J. Arthur.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 09:14 PM

It sounds bloody awful!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:32 PM

'cos bawbag sounds (and looks) more gross!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 07:53 PM

Ah, you mean lunchpacket. Why didn't you say so!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 07:48 PM

I'm surprised and disappointed at the lack of reaction to BAWBAG that I posted earlier- - a term of derision used particularly in the West central belt of Scotland (as in 'Hurricane Bawbag' a couple of years ago -- don't ask me what the official name was, but it was pretty windy - -- )
Bawbag means scrotal sac- - but not in a nice way!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 06:00 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! :D

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 05:37 PM

We avert our gaze from our genitalia and pray to Our Lady of course! Tsk.


Plonker...

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 01:44 PM

What do Catholics have instead, Steve?

Just asking...

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 12:15 PM

Quite right, Stanron. They still have a lot to learn!

We were Catholics so we didn't have masturbation, but the proddydogs down the road often spoke of strangling their turkeys.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Stanron
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:33 AM

A point our colonial friends might miss is that the word 'plonker' has an element of fondness connected to it. Words like 'bastard', 'jerk-off' or 'twat' have a more nasty connotation.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Raggytash
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:24 AM

"Pullin' me pud" was a euphemism for masturbation when I was a lad.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 14 Apr 16 - 08:09 AM

Lighter: The more vernacular English verb for 'masturbate' is 'wank'; so that our word most directly translating US 'jerk-off' would be 'wanker'. The verb 'to plonk' does not carry any overtone of masturbation with us.

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 07:15 PM

Oi, Steve! I must be a plonker, because I completely overlooked your earlier contribution of gobshite. I am so mortified! I may even be a pillock, a wanker, a wazzock or......and let's hope not....a twat!

Meanwhile, here's Ruby the Foul-Mouthed Parrot to tell all England "Oo's a twat and oo's not"!

Ruby has the final word!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: mayomick
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 06:55 PM

a plonker is the same thing as an "old bill" .

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 06:46 PM

Nighty-night that would be. A subtle difference.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 06:45 PM

I don't think so. The trouble with you yanks is that you don't understand UK warm-and-subtle. Nightly-night.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Lighter
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 05:56 PM

The precise U.S. equivalent of "plonker" would appear to be "jerkoff" politely "jerk."

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: TheSnail
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 03:06 PM

Here's a fairly exhaustive list

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 02:45 PM

Oi, Hawk, I claimed gobshite three days ago, you plonker!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 01:04 PM

Gobshite!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 13 Apr 16 - 03:16 AM

I first heard the word 'plonker' back in 1964, when I was a 17-year-old engineering apprentice, and a tradesman I was 'the lad' for was berating his other charge for spending too much time in the toilets. The accusation was hurled that the apprentice was constantly 'running off to the bogs to pull your plonker', in other words masturbate.

From that moment, 'plonker' was firmly set in my mind, and has been ever since, as a euphemism for 'penis'.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 09:04 PM

Bampot!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 05:19 PM

bawbag

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 10:23 AM

In Usenet (newsgroups) (surely SOME of you know what that is) "plonk" is what one does TO plonkers & trolls. . It means to delete their posts from one's own feed and to set a command to ignore their subsequent posts. It can be very useful.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 05:10 AM

According to the wonderful 'The Insect That Stole the Butter' (Oxford Dictionary of word origins) "'Plonker, meaning an idiot, dates to the 1960s but was popularised by 'Only Fools and Horses'.
"It was based on the first plonk (wine) and was first used to mean something large or unsubstantial - also penis."
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 04:10 AM

Numpties, the lot of youse!
And these days, anatomically impossibly, there seem to be a huge number of male c#nts and fannies about!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: vectis
Date: 12 Apr 16 - 01:00 AM

I, personally, don't remember plonker being in the common vernacular until 'only fools and horses' popularised it. Until then it had been largely confined to the London area.

Correct me if you disagree but in my bit of southern England I never heard the term used.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 08:55 PM

Ripov, apologies for "ripoff". I don't know how that happened and I've only just noticed it. Not intended! 🙁

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 08:49 PM

Well I wouldn't call it a euphemism exactly, but I think it's drifted away from that usage considerably this end. You might still hear it used for female genitalia and well, yes, it isn't very nice but, as ever, much depends on context; other words are far more in vogue these days. I won't fanny around digging for examples, as I'm not usually known for pussyfooting...

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 08:23 PM

Well, the original list is generally unknown in the US, except for those of us who read English fiction or have low class (i.e., UK)
friends. Except for 'twat', which is a euphemism for female genitalia and quite insulting.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 08:20 PM

"And kindly explain and justify beyond doubt your assertion that 'Del-boy's constant use of "plonker" for his brother firmly established the word as non-sexual'. Why/how did it?"

By constant and repeated usage in a firmly non-sexual context over many years in a pre-watershed programme watched by millions. The self-appointed arbiters of language have no control over that. When I were a little lad me mum and dad frequently put the only lp they had on the gramophone, a collection of songs by Peter Dawson, the first of which was A Bachelor Gay. The song laments the fellow's lifelong lack of success with the ladies, until:

"When he fancies he is past love
It is then he meets his last love
And he loves her as he's never loved before"

One can envisage many of a younger age puzzling how the chap can be both gay and living in lifelong yearning for a lady-love. That's language for you, evolving fast in response to popular usage in spite of the begrudgers, and long may it do so (hopefully -heheh!). How did "gay" change? By constant and determined usage in a new context, that's how. Just like Del Boy did with "plonker." In my view, it's a valuable addition to the mildly-amusing lexicon of gentle pejoratives.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 11:09 AM

Plonked if I know!

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: ripov
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 06:38 AM

but "Kisses sweeter than plonk" doesn't quite have the romantic sound to it. (was going to say "romantic ring" but realised that this might provoke unwarranted hilarity)

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 04:18 AM

Of course, as with many words, this one has several meanings, which, in general, context should make clear. Ambiguities are always possible, however. Take the use of 'plonker' cited above for a loud kiss. "He planted a fine plonker on her willing lips" -- did he give her "ae fond kiss', or was a mutually desired bit of fellatio in the offing, would you say?

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Gurney
Date: 11 Apr 16 - 01:30 AM

Plonker means penis, in the vernacular.

Where I come from, a wazzock is an adze, an old shipbuilders and builders tool used to shave off large chunks of wood. The adze will stand on its head when not being used, and it has a curved handle.
Hence 'It left me standing like a wazzock on the pavement' for a dumbfounded person standing with his head bowed.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Bert
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 10:15 PM

It also means kiss, as in 'He plonkered her one'

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 05:53 PM

Ripoff is correct about "plonk." Raggytash, the difference is that I was Radcliffe and you were somewhere in England. 😂

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: ripov
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 04:34 PM

I've always thought that "plonk" was a corruption (deliberate as we are english, and get some fun out of misusing words!), for "vin blanc". But we do use "on the piss" to mean drinking excessively; and again, to mean "not standing up straight"; although more of things than people. And the derivation of "piste", although now associated with skiing, is from the latin from "beaten" (as in "the beaten track") or "stamped" (like a coin), ie "hammered", so the common connotations are fairly old.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: CupOfTea
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 03:39 PM

If "plonker" has the connotation of being a penis, does that mean that cheap and inferior wine referred to as "plonk" means it is the equivalent of piss? Or are the two terms actually unrelated?

Enquiring minds...

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 03:02 PM

I too used heard expression "you're pulling my plonker" but I seem to recall it referred to a sexual organ.

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 02:23 PM

@Steve:— What you said, and thought you meant, in your astoundingly[!] innocent schooldays are not necessarily the be-all-and-the-end-all of the matter, you know. Usages can have different overtones and connotations among different users and groups of users; I don't think a group of off-duty soldiery using the same terms would have mentally-imaged their referents identically to you o-so-incredibly-virtuous-&-pure-minded-to-hear-u-tell-it schoolboys. And kindly explain and justify beyond doubt your assertion that 'Del-boy's constant use of "plonker" for his brother firmly established the word as non-sexual'. Why/how did it? -- Del Boy is not characterised as an unworldly vicar (and as to tv vicars, just you look at those of Dibley & Grantchester, at that!).

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 01:33 PM

Well, when I think back to school, we used to say "you're pulling my plonker, aren't you?" for "pulling my leg," but in that context I think its role as a sex organ was far from our minds. I think Del-boy's constant use of "plonker" for his brother firmly established the word as non-sexual. On the parks we'd say "you're pulling my pisser, aren't you?"

Come to think of it, when we were discussing "big girl's blouse" the other day for men acting fussily and in a slightly effeminate manner, it brought to mind a slightly less kind expression I learned from the parks men for such a person: "Eee, look at 'im, will yer. I bet he thinks his dick's fer pissin' out of."

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 01:13 PM

I still think that 'plonker' as term for stupid person retains an overtone of sex-organ [again, compare cunt & twat & prick]. There are, after all, few English words of one sole definition, and many whose derivations may be disputed, or from more than one source.

& anyone who thinks different is a pillock!*

≈M≈




*which Partridge gives as undisputedly an obsolete word for the male organ...

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 12:59 PM

I posted this earlier but, for some unknown reason, it disappeared (perhaps a sensitive-soul Mud-elf was offended?)...

In my neck of the Backwoods, 'wanker' and 'tosser' appear to have been superseded by the, IMHO, infinitely more satisfying 'spunk-trumpet'. But, of course, you would never hear such coarse terms from my dainty rose-bud lips. 😎

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 12:57 PM

"There is still at least one good example here, but as I do not indulge in abusive personal insults..."

Jeez, you can't resist, can you. Of course you have done, on numerous occasions. Why, you were calling some of us monkeys only yesterday. You're just as capable of coming the gobshite as the rest of us who you accuse.

Sorry, I've been looking for an opportunity to use "gobshite," one of me favourite words, for a while! 😂

Subject: RE: BS: Define 'plonker'
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 10 Apr 16 - 11:49 AM

Was it one of the Aussie captains who, on receiving a complaint from the England captain, addressed his team with "Which one of you bastards has been calling these bastards bastards?"