Jones's Ale. New funny verses?

Subject: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 03:51 AM

I am singing at a beer festival soon and so looking through my beer songs.
Anyone got any amusing verses for this one?
You need a two syllable occupation. Banker might be a good candidate?
ideas?
keith.

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 05:20 AM

I only have one extra verse :-

The last to come in was a lithper
Who thaid to them all in a whithper
May I join in your jovial cwew
Then he thwew his old pith helmet down on the gwound
And evewone gathered awound
When he put it back on he wath bloody nigh dwowned
When jones's Ale wath new my boys

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: GUEST,David Nuttall, Wakefield
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 07:05 AM

The next to come in had a banjo
Who's playing forced the drinkers to go
Who's playing forced the drinkers to go
To make a jovial crew
He picked in C and then in G
And emptied the bar as quick as could be
When Jones' ale was new, me boys
When Jones' ale was new.

The next to come in had a guitar
But this poor guy...he was no star
But this poor guy he was no star
To make a jovial crew
His strumming was loud and very flat
And one and all got sick of that
When Jones'ale was new me boys
When Jones'ale was new.

The next to come in had a bodrain
And no one seemed to be a fan
And no one seemed to be a fan
To make a jovial crew
He asked them all if he might play
But they replied " SOME OTHER DAY "
when Jones' ale was new me boys
When Jones' ale was new.

The last to come in was a singer
And he ,too, was a ringer
And he ,too, was a ringer
To make a jovial crew
He said " I'LL SING YOU JONES' ALE "
The punters then all turned quite pale
When Jones' ale was new me boys
When Jones' ale was new .


Hope this helps a bit.
DAVID

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Uncle Tone
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 07:16 AM

The next to come in was an ad man, looking rather a sad man
We said, 'you're looking bad, man' among the jovial crew
He flung his briefcase to the ground
Then called for gin and tonic all round
For Saatchi stole the account he'd found
When Johnson' ale was new

The next to come in was a Tory with a very haughty story
She covered herself in glory among the jovial crew
She claimed we are the lazy poor
And flung a pittance to the floor
'Grovel if you want some more!'
When Johnson's ale was new

The next to come in was a Corbinite, saying, 'It'll be alright
If we outvote the Far Right with all the jovial crew
I'll nationalise the railways
And give the NHS a raise
And cure us all of May's hard ways
While Johnson's ale's still new

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: GUEST,Janey
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 10:31 AM

The next to come in was a banker
A sly deceiving xxxxxx
A sly deceiving xxxxxx
Come to rob all the jovial crew
With his mortgages, loans and credit scams
The sheeple swallowed his lies like lambs
They never noticed he'd stole their lands
When Jones's ale was new me boys
When Jones's ale was new

Not at-all funny really...

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: GUEST,Artful Codger as GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 11:39 AM

Try this thread, where I (and maybe others) added a few verses:
http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=50697#1747613

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 12:35 PM

The next to come in was a Catter
He started a long boring patter
He started a long boring patter
And pissed off all the crew.
All of em started to argue the toss
The Catter he got hot and cross
Landlady said 'Gerron yer 'oss'
When Jones's ale was new, me boys,
When Jones's ale was new.

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 12 Sep 16 - 01:42 PM

The next to come in was a Blairite
He claimed he wanted a fair fight
He claimed he wanted a fair fight
And disrupted the jovial crew
He flung his glove down on the floor
The punches flew for an hour or more
But he had sneaked out of the door
When Jones's ale was new me boys
When Jones's ale was new.

Subject: RE: Jones's Ale. New funny verses?
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 13 Sep 16 - 04:06 AM

Thanks for all that folks.
I should have looked for an existing thread. Thanks for the link Art.
Cheers all,
keith.