BS: stay afloat while others don't

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 09:14 AM

Hang in there, keb!

Wedding planning for my well son is bringing up all kinds of pain about his twin, still homeless, still mad.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Mar 23 - 06:16 PM

Got through the winter months,
and spring is on a see-saw with winter,
up and down, back and forth.
Some blindingly sunny clear days,
and on days like those I get restless to be anywhere else.

However, I don't have to leave for want of money;
and it's not clear that I'm ready to discharge, have not set a date.

Other patients, esp former patients, tell me
that I will know when it is the right time to make my exit.
I hope they're right.

A staffperson sighted gypsy moths last night. Ugh.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Dec 22 - 07:47 PM

That is big. It seems to be a comfortable space for you.

Pepper is feeling better, but don't get near her tummy or she becomes a dreadful barking monster. Threatening anyone with a growl and a snap. I fear the trip on Tuesday to remove stitches is going to be very difficult. Staying afloat - getting through stressful events - it's one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time is good.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Dec 22 - 07:33 PM

Stilly, I hope Pepper is feeling better very soon, poor thing.

Spending Christmas at the clinic, my third Christmas here.
Something to celebrate, the family/trustee have said "yes" to reimbursing me for my clinic bills. That's a big one.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Dec 22 - 10:59 AM

I drove my middle dog to the vet this morning for a surgical procedure. That will be a one-time hit on my finances, hoping it just a fatty tumor and isn't cancer because long-term expensive pet treatment when it's so hard on them isn't in the cards.

I only mention that trip this morning because I drive a back-route to get to my vet who is in a rough part of town. Literally. Tough, and rough, with a lot of homeless people who refuse to sleep in the night shelter (because of their xtian rules, and because of bed bugs.) There are lots of brushy vacant lots in that hilly part of town adjacent to large brushy street rights-of-way, and on my way out again I counted at least 10 tents with tarps over them in vacant plots of land; they are usually at the back of the space beyond a few trees and out of sight if someone isn't looking for them.

It was early so there were a lot of men (this time) out walking towards the main drag where food may be purchased. There was one pair of tents set up with a bit more equipment around, including a propane grill. That is great for cooking and I imagine propane can be purchased nearby on the main drag. These are small communities, and they are hugely impacted in places like Dallas where they go in periodically and "clean up," essentially removing any personal items along with any tents or structures, leaving these folks all that more hard up.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Dec 22 - 10:43 AM

It looks as though my attorney has come through for me
and the money will be distributed to me after all.
It took months of negotiating. Whew!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Dec 22 - 06:45 PM

Hmmm, lots of emotion usually meant working on something to me... Here's to success if that's the case!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 22 - 06:51 PM

There is a lot of emotion coming up without any obvious trigger.
I suppose this is what my counselor would call "productive" ,
I call it exhausting. Feeling is raw.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Nov 22 - 04:44 PM

Another rite of passage completed: enrollment in Medicare.
Because the social security website would not verify my identification,
I had to do this by way of a phone call with an SSA operator.
The call went on for thirty-five minutes!
The operator kept putting me on hold to double-check facts and stuff.
But we got it done.
And now I won't have to pay the dreaded penalties I was warned about.
A bunch of stuff will be sent in the mail from Social Security
and, eventually, notice of "award" if I heard right.

One more thing to help keep me afloat, so to speak.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Nov 22 - 09:46 AM

Bon courage, keb.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Nov 22 - 06:18 PM

Trying to stay afloat in terms of money to pay the bill.
The bills are paid, of course, up to this point.
It's the future I'm worried about.

I have an attorney representing me to
the people controlling the family estate planning.
They are arm-wrestling and negotiating this month.

Supposedly it is only a matter of time: of when, not if.
What if I run out of time?
Then the money will decide my discharge date, I suppose --
I would be far from alone, it has happened to many others.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 25 Oct 22 - 07:16 PM

keberoxu, I think up and down is normal, and it's only when feeling down makes us think we'll never feel up again that it causes a downward spiral and that can be a problem.

Knowing that downs are followed by ups helps me not to get lost in the downward spiral. When I was in my late teens, early 20's I hadn't figured that out yet.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Oct 22 - 05:42 PM

Well, the housemate is back,
and the real-estate transaction, the big one with the lake house,
is done to their satisfaction, so all's well that ends well there.
Said housemate has a discharge date set, so is just finishing up here.

My psychiatrist and I are experimenting with meds dosages and combinations
and so far, the experiment is going well.
Not always a stable feeling, but having said that,
I have more ups than I used to,
I'm familiar with being all down all the time.
So now it's up and down . . . maybe that's normal?

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Oct 22 - 10:56 AM

Real estate transactions can make the most rational of people go a little nuts. For everything you think you're doing to protect yourself from extra costs of downright being taken advantage of, there are people in the world who know how to get what they want at your expense. (A friend of mine tried to sell her house to a "normal family" so turned down an offer from a guy who was shopping for a house to use as a group home. So he sent someone else to make an offer and it still ended up becoming a group home for probationer sex-offenders. Not what she wanted and not what the neighbors needed.)

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Oct 22 - 08:31 AM

Part of me says Their choice and thrn I remember they may not be able to make good choices...

Yikes. Nice that you care. You are a fine person, keb, wish you well. Be fine, someday.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Oct 22 - 10:27 AM

Sometimes I have the luxury of overlooking the fact that
others here don't have it together at all well in their lives.

The past weekend was a long holiday weekend here in the US, and
many people took advantage of same.
One housemate at my residence got permission to spend that weekend,
with its extended days, with their family at home.
To that end, they left on Thursday October 6, promising to return Monday.

Well, they seem to have gone walkabout.
We have not seen them since then. They have been gone for about ten days.
There have been one or two messages, explaining that they came down with a stomach 'flu bug for several days and had to recover from same.
Part of the complications include the fact that the family is putting more than one piece of real estate up for sale,
and this patient who is supposed to be getting mental health treatment, cannot imagine the family negotiating and processing the transaction without them.
But this is not how one is supposed to go through with treatment at this clinic, and I fear that
we will not see this patient again except when they stop by to remove their personal effects from their residence room after being asked to get out!

It isn't how I would do it, but I have to accept that this is a different person in a different situation.
Sometimes treatment here is a truly edifying experience, and sometimes it is merely mystifying.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Sep 22 - 07:05 PM

Whole bunch of discharges in September,
and they have been replaced with new admits,
so many that I have got to the point
where I can't match faces to names anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Sep 22 - 09:27 PM

Awful about your mate, but good about the heat!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Sep 22 - 11:49 AM

Update:
it took maintenance an entire seven days to fix the house system
so that there is heat in my bedroom.
Just in time for the really cold nights,
fortunately in between there was a warm spell.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Sep 22 - 01:33 PM

Most of us patients are comfortable enough at the moment.
It's the staff, when I chat with them, who lament
that they've been having a rough time of it at work here.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Sep 22 - 10:56 PM

Today one of the newest patients attempted suicide.
The patient was taken by ambulance to the big hospital up the road.
Every patient who comes here agrees to a code of behavior
that includes, no harm to self or to others.

A great many of the patients here sought admission
precisely to turn around their suicidal ideation,
I'm guessing this patient was one of them.

You would think that a mental institution would be inured
to this sort of thing, but in fact it is always a hard blow for us all.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Sep 22 - 04:46 PM

Good on you, keb.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Sep 22 - 01:53 PM

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the minions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the minions
We are the minions
Its time for losers
'Cause we are the minions of the World

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
I had five minutes of fame
And everything that goes with it
I lost it all
and it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge
before The human race
We're all gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the minions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the minions
We are the minions
All just for losers
'Cause we are the minions of the World
We are the minions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the minions We are the minions
We all are losers
'Cause we are the minions of the World



We are the minions to the one tenth of one percent who are the multi billionaires dedicated to keep expanding their con, scam or crimes. You agreed to the fine print of miniondom with a click but probably never read the user agreement.
Rights, freedoms and liberty are not obstacles to the ultimate rich anymore. Rights and freedoms will continue to disappear. Believe me they have improved the George Orwell outlook a million times over.

This makes many people angry for the wrong reasons and is easily handled by inducing a fight between the minions and the other colored minions or the other religion minion fights. The red blames the blue and the blue blames the red but they both lose to the system made by the owners of the Banks.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Sep 22 - 12:41 PM

This past week was a mixed one.
My mental health is resilient, more so than two years ago at the time of admission to the clinic [I'm still there]. Things roll off of me now, which back then would have set me back and overwhelmed me for a time.

Physically I have had better weeks. For some reason, on Thursday the best description for me would have been, as Senoufou quotes the Scottish, "peely-wally." Rather than hibernate, I got through the day taking brief naps, walking from my residence to the dining hall and back, eating sparingly and selectively, drinking a lot of fluids. I had to ask at the medication closet for a pair of ibuprofen tablets, which helped the achy feeling, in my head amongst other places. Can't explain what came over me, but it was gone in twenty-four hours.

Then came the debacle with the residence HVAC. The HVAC system is such that you can have either refrigerated air or heat, but not both -- you cannot change from one to the other with the touch of a switch or two. So here we were with refrigerated air from the length of the summer. Then Thursday night the temperature plunged, and when I got out of bed at 7 am on Friday morning, the temperature in my bedroom was down to 60 degrees F. Colder than I like it, I have to say. I was fortunate to have warm blankets on the bed; but then, I was most reluctant to get out from under the covers into the chill of the bedroom air.

So I went to the powers-that-be at the clinic and said, I cannot endure another night like last night, cannot something be done!
Well, maintenance came to the residence and did their maintenance thing. When they were done, there was heat aplenty in many parts of the residence, such as the large kitchen, with an abundance of hot air coming through the vents. But across the house, in my bedroom, nothing. No air moving at all, and no sign that any heat was going to visit the room anytime soon, and night coming on.
So somebody scared up a space heater, the kind that is filled with oil and resembles a miniature old-fashioned radiator. This was brought to my bedroom and plugged in to the electric outlet, and thankfully, it solved the cold problem nicely for the moment. I did not have to go through another overly chilly night in the bedroom.
In the meantime we don't know what is wrong with the heat in that section of the house, and more maintenance servicing and repair is probably in order. What a time for it to conk out, just as the seasons are changing.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Aug 22 - 02:34 PM

We hold our breaths here during this extended heat wave - the conditions can cause streets to shift that result in water main breaks and if a fire gets started it will spread fast. Happening at the same time would be catastrophic.

We're past the time of trying to keep some of the plants alive and are focused mostly on the larger more expensive shrubs and trees. The lawn is golden straw at this point (not that I treat it well, but I haven't managed to plant the area with something else yet.)

Staying afloat now means staying the course until it cools and there is some rain and we can go outside and start cleaning up dead plants after the drought. Fixing parts of the house that show signs of drying or shifting from the heat (our foundations all need to be watered to keep the house in good stead). My foundation needs to be stabilized and this year has left a lot more cracks in the walls.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Aug 22 - 02:12 PM

Timing, while not everything, is a lot.

I came out of my in-patient thing just in time for the lockdown. Oddly enough I was much happier alone knowing I *couldn't* visit or be visited. Made it not lonely.

Then again, I had discovered keto by then. I just didn't trust it yet.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Aug 22 - 07:58 PM

We're having rain as this goes online.
Hopefully no hailstorm.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Aug 22 - 09:09 AM

With regard to veblen good and the rest of that discussion,
I will just remark that
I checked in and was admitted to the clinic
just in time for the COVID-19 state of emergency and
the consequent lockdown.
I have been an in-patient for the entire crisis with the coronavirus.

SO I will always, in a metaphorical sense,
be in the debt of this institution for caring for me
and protecting me from dangerous isolation during the pandemic.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 05 Aug 22 - 07:33 PM

Thunderstorms here are usually heralded by really hot temperatures here in Oz.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Aug 22 - 06:05 PM

So far, the housemate situation is going well at the smaller residence.
I just enjoyed a Friday evening supper of fried perch, with steamed spinach. Have been feeling off my feed for a number of days, one of them with the sort of MILD back pain that ibuprofen can remedy.
So it was nice to enjoy a small supper and to feel a bit better.

We're supposed to have heavy thunderstorms tonight.
Weird, because it's been a brilliant sunny day all day today.
Hotter then Hades, though,
so I suppose the thunderstorms are related to the heat.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 31 Jul 22 - 12:52 PM

And also hoping for a good distribution of funds.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Jul 22 - 10:02 AM

Hoping for a good housemate

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jul 22 - 09:06 AM

Finally, at our smaller residence,
the patient whose move-in here was delayed while recovering from COVID-19
has moved in, this weekend.
So the house is not as empty as before.

In the past two weeks my attorney and I have been in contact
and the campaign to get distributions of funds
has resumed.
What a hurry-to-wait, hurry-to-wait process this thing has become.
I know it would be worse if I were actually going through the court,
but still.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jul 22 - 07:23 PM

The lug nut nut story is, a driver gets a flat tire at night outside the insane asylum. Trying to change the tire, steps in the hubcap and sends the lug nuts flying off into the bushes. Now mad, swearing, hears a voice from inside the fence which says, take one lug nut off each of the other wheels, that'll get you to the next station. When the driver seems surprised the voice says I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Jul 22 - 08:54 AM

psychiatrists are people with the potential to have all the problems (other) people have!

I had experience on a committee some years back with a very bossy over-talking, shouting member who also did stuff without consulting the rest of us. Said shouter was a psychiatrist & some of us wondered if their patients were treated like us! Several decades ago I had a psychiatrist friend who had a colleague who couldn't cope with tears(??) & prescribed anti-depressants on day one to all patients.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jul 22 - 07:06 AM

whatsa lugs nut nut ??

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jul 22 - 09:57 PM

I am reminded of the lug nuts nut...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Jul 22 - 11:27 PM

Well, today a public tantrum broke the calm.
Not a patient, though.
A psychiatrist who is a Fellow in psychiatry at
the institute, as this is a teaching institution.

He scared the shit out of me when he lost his temper during a meeting.
I, be it noted, was in the hallway outside the conference room;
the meeting /conference-room location is surrounded by
consultants'/therapists' office, including my therapist,
and I had my regular appointment for this particular day of the week.

What's the difference, the old joke goes,
between the patients and the staff?
The patients get better, that's what ...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jul 22 - 03:34 PM

Dr. Trauma sez a regieme of MMDA would spring her from the compound and one treatment of psylocybin would provide permanent freedom.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 05:41 PM

To be honest, keberoxu, I've ever seen a quokka IRL, even at a zoo. They live in Western Australia which is the one Oz state I haven't visited yet.

What Is a Quokka?

"When National Geographic deems an animal 'the happiest on earth', you take note. And sure enough, the smiling, teddy-bear sized marsupials known as quokkas get that name for good reason."

I have seen rock wallabies in the wild in the Northern Territory, hanging about on a huge, reddish-coloured rocky face of a river gorge. They just hopped from rock to rock and then stopped and looked at us from across the gorge.

I'd have to check exactly where that was but I think it was somewhere between Uluru aka Ayres Rock in NT and Alice Springs.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 04:47 PM

Nobody (else) wants to gush over the cute little quokkas.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 04:44 PM

Just in case anyone asks I'm not accusing keb of commiting a veblen good. I just pulled $2K out of the air as an average charge in many CA long term clinics.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 03:56 PM

Up north when it got below 10 degrees we would say "Throw another dog on the bed". Sleeping in a dog heated closet also works in a pinch.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 10:30 AM

Staying afloat here this year means maintaining a livable temperature in the house while every day is over 100^o. We've have a month at least of it so far and no end in sight. The summer of 2011 was like this with 72 days over 100^o. A lot of people die in this kind of heat. People hunker down and come out after the sun sets and seek shady patios any other time. It's a time of year when if there is a traffic accident with a motorcycle or a bicyclist the victim could die of the heat of the roadbed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 10:00 AM

For two grande a day, you're not paying for the room, but for the ability to say "I can afford to blow two grande a day on a room at Hotel Extravaganza". The official term for this sort of thing, I understand, is Veblen good; another (mentioned iirc by Thorstein Veblen) is potlatch.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 08:25 AM

In a Parisian 5 star hotel $2,000 will get you the extravagant decor but only a tiny single room. The finest suites are 5 figures a day.

and up

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 08:08 AM

Government grants to aid addiction services and mental health can actually benefit insurance companies and service providers alike to the tune of 11 billion dollars/yr in California alone. With that kind of money there is plenty to go around and give kick backs to various administrators. At $2,000 a day for two years one can imagine that keeping an income stream going might become a priority to the people who handle the money. Employees may have the best of skills, empathy and intent but following the money can POSSIBLY lead to a 'caring conspiracy'. I am not saying there is, I am thinking out loud how money that could pay for the finest hotel in Paris per day for 2 years could be bent for purposes that encourage administrators to push/wish for long stays. What makes us happy and how you spend money if you have it, is your own business and none of my concern. Sometimes "nothing is as it seems" doesn't matter. jus sayin... I'm just a retired hypnotist who saw how people can be led without knowing it or believe in a big preposterous lie. Life always has 2 choices.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jul 22 - 08:43 PM

Regarding the 2,000 year old Sequoias; For, being green, there is great hope…

— HENRY VI PART 2, ACT 3 SCENE 1

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 12 Jul 22 - 05:45 PM

Well thanks Donuel! Not!! A deep forboding of an impending cataclysmic event is all we need. The icing on the cake. LOL

Even with all the natural disasters i.e. many years of drought, bushfires, repeated floods, and then COVID over the past couple of years, here in Australia we seem able to be cautiously optimistic because we no longer have a climate-change-denier in charge of the country.

I don't want to drag this thread down with a full political discussion, but finally we may be looking forward to a more proactive approach to what this country needs to do for the future. A glimmer of hope.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jul 22 - 04:49 PM

Bon courage, keb.